are there any mums on here that have all their kids in school? I only see posts of mums with kids who are babies or toddlers which is fair enough ,Im sure its more common to be a sahm and have younger children.But do they exist or am I alone lol .My kids are 4,5,11.Youngest started reception in September and I have been a sahm for 6 years

(Vent) I have two kids (2yo girl, 8yo boy) and I have been a stay at home mom for a little over a year. It has been wonderfully rewarding and if I had to do it again I would. With that being said, it sucks. The constant loneliness, being pushed to your absolute limit everyday, no days off, no breaks, and because my husband's work schedule is so erratic, essentially no help. I dont have parents, or grandparents, and all of my husband's family works.

In our state daycare would cost well over half of a full paycheck, so if I were to work it would literally be just to put them in daycare. The only way it would be financially viable is if we send them to a crappy one and I am not doing that. (Abuse within daycares is very common where we are. It has happened to myself, my husband, and our son when he was very young. You need very little to be registered as a daycare in my state.)

I know I can get through this, but I feel like Ive lost myself to being a mom. Who I was before I started this is not the person I am today, and I dont really know how to feel about that yet.

But it doesn't really matter, I have to go make breakfast and get the kids up now.

I’ve made post before explaining our living situation. We have helped my parents build a multi-generational home and we have the “basement” which is a fully finished and furnished 2000sqft house 3B/2br. We pay approximately $500-600 a month for living expenses. My parents have the same thing but upstairs and they pay about the same. We also split yearly property taxes.

It’s constantly a guilt trip about how much money they have spent building the house and how their savings is lowering. My husband did majority of the manual labor.

My dad always makes off the wall comments about how we aren’t doing enough or “not doing our fair share” and they feel like they are having to pay a lot more than us.

They have something to say about me homeschooling our kids, the way we raise them, how clean the house is, etc..

I am 4 weeks post op from my second major spinal fusion and one of the off handed comments my mom said was “well this is why your daddy told you to not have more kids than you can handle”.. who in the hell says that to someone while they are at the time 2.5 weeks post op. I can more than handle my children when I am healthy.

My dad is just what I’m coming to realize a narcissist and a douche bag.

I don’t know what to do. Part of me feels like we just need to move out but the other part is feeling guilty for leaving because this is all my kids know and all I really know myself. I know it would hurt my parents majorly but I feel like in order for us to be a family without conflict and constant judgment, it would be best.

I will be flying about 4 hours with my son in July which he will be 7 months old by then. I was wondering if anyone has any recommendations on stuff to get for him and ways to make it easier on him. I have seen people flying with babies who say it was easy and some say it’s hard. So I fully understand it can be unpredictable so if anyone can recommend anything tip wise I would much appreciate it. I have no idea where to even start honestly.

For those of you that have a child or children that play mind games at bed time, when does it stop? My first was nothing like this but my second makes bed time difficult in some way every night. It’s exhausting. She’s 6 and it feels like there’s no end in sight. My husband and I swap putting her to bed each night. Sometimes I have to leave while he’s putting her to bed so she will be good. Once I’m gone she’s a different person. It’s so frustrating and I find myself in a state of dread when I do have to put her to bed.

What are you doing with your littles all summer break?

So I (25f) had my daughter almost 4 months ago. My partner (23M) and I found out we were pregnant right after our 1 year anniversary and it was a huge shock. I've been the one solely taking care of her since he went back to work a month after we had her. He's a professional chef and works between 50-60 hours a week and pays all of our bills so that I am able to stay home with our daughter and I'm incredibly grateful. The problem is he doesn't really help with her when he is home. He loves her and misses her while he's at work but when he's home he sleeps in and he'll be up late playing video games but I'm still the one getting out of bed to feed her and put her back to sleep. Today really pissed me off because I have not been able to leave the house in 2 weeks because his truck needs new brakes so he's been taking the car to work. Today he was off and I had therapy and needed to go grocery shopping. This was the only time I was out of the house/alone in 2 weeks and I was gone for about 5 and a half hours. I called him when I was leaving therapy and he was clearly in a mood but I let it go. When I was checking out at the grocery store he texted me "where are you? it's been hours" and I told him I was on my way home. I got home and my daughter was propped up on a pillow on the bed and he was laying under the blanket next to her watching something on his tablet. I asked if he was ok and he said they were fine. I asked how long she's been awake and he said idk. He gave me "idk" to basically anything I asked and just wouldn't talk to me??? I took her and he rolled over and went to bed and I had to fight to get her to bed because she was so overtired. Idk what happened while I was gone but I'm so mad that the only "me time" I get is my weekly therapy appointment and grocery shopping and I couldn't even take my time and enjoy being out and around other people. Idk I just needed to vent.

I’ve always been a stay at home mom, I have a 3yr old and a 9month old
However I’ve been feeling completely lost on what to do everyday.. my 9 month old wants to be held but hates carriers. We don’t have a yard we live in an apartment. Going to a park only solves my 3yr old entertainment needs. I can’t cook. I can’t clean. I end up staring at the wall holding her wondering how I will make it through the day. I literally wish I could watch someone do this successfully. What’s wrong with me. What am I doing wrong?

Hi everyone,

My LO is 3 months old. Since giving birth in February, I left my teaching job and I don’t plan to return with the support of my husband. I feel guilty that I’m not working because I want to help provide for our house, but I also feel guilty if I were to return to work and leave my baby (my mother would provide childcare). This should be an easy choice for me- to stay home and spend time with my baby.

For the moms that are staying at home full time, how do you do it? Was it hard for you to let go of your careers? Is it hard living on one income?

So I’m currently very sick with a fever and my bf works over night so we have my little sibling’s partner helping us. Tonight they were putting my son to sleep while I was talking to my little sibling before I made dinner when I heard a loud bang. At first I thought my bf dropped something as he was getting ready but immediately after I heard gurgling screaming coming from our room. I rushed in to my son screaming and crying while my little sibling’s partner was trying to sooth him. They explained that they put him down on our bed to turn off the lights and in that short 10 seconds he completely rolled himself off our bed and hit his head on his crib as he fell. He was laying head towards the headboard not even facing the crib so it was a shocking experience. They said he immediately cried so I checked for any signs of head trauma/injuries luckily he has none. Less then 10 minutes later he was smiling and acting normal but I still called our pediatricians 24 hour line. They said he should be okay to stay home and just watch him which I was relieved about. I still feel so guilty about not being there when it happened and being the first one to grab him. I don’t blame my little sibling’s partner I understand that this is a common unfortunate accident plus they felt horrible. Since he is only 5 months old they didn’t expect him to completely turn his body and roll off the bed. I just don’t know how to properly process this guilty feel of not being with him as it happened.

I really want to be a SAHM with my 10 month old daughter, but my husband says we can’t afford it. I would like the peoples opinions/experience/advice on the situation.

My husband currently makes around $90,000 a year before taxes. I make roughly $70,000 before taxes. Our mortgage is currently $1,899 a month. We are currently paying my car off ($2500 extra a month) and should be finished with the payments by August. The only remaining debt we will have are my student loans (about $19,000, which he wants to go ahead and start putting $2000 extra a month towards after my car has been paid off) and our mortgage. Other than that, we have no other debt. No credit cards, personal loans, or anything else that needs to be paid off. After taxes, he brings home $5,000 a month.

If I quit work, we would be missing out on around $4,000 a month. But we also wouldn’t have to spend $1,100 on daycare. I would commit to cooking more and spending less money out. I’ve told him that many families have done it with a lot less money. I’ve also voiced that I would be willing to work just 2 days a week, so that still has me bringing in $2,000+ a month. I’m just sad that I’m missing this time with my daughter and really want to be there to help and watch her grow.

He really wants us to pay off my student loans as fast as possible and then save for us to move into a new house in a few years. I do know that would be hard to do without my income.

Is it unrealistic for me to think I could be a SAHM?

Edited to add that I am a dental hygienist, so my work is both physically and mentally exhausting.

Edited again to add that my car payment is only $500 a month, but we are paying an extra $2,000 currently to pay it off. So it’s not an actual $2,500 car payment🤣

My first baby just turned 3 in March and expressed some interests in going to school. His father and I didn’t really take it too seriously at first because at his age toddlers seem to like one thing for five minutes and then hate in the next. Anyways, he’s been raving about it for months before he turned 3 and he’s still expressing interest in school. Now where we live we have two options to go to. The public preschool is about a 10 maybe 15 minute drive away and does half days (morning or afternoon) five days a week. The other option is a private preschool which is maybe a 5 minute if that drive away and is also half days but you get the option of how many days a week you send your child in for. Now we know the private school option comes with a tuition which we are okay with. I know the public school option isn’t far at all but I just feel like starting off five days for school is a lot? I don’t how maybe I’m just overthinking it and it’s my nerves talking. I should mention that my 3 year old has never been to daycare. He does an occasional overnight stay with the grandparents once in a while but that’s about it. I like that the private school lets you pick how many and which days you want to send your child to school. I just think it might be less of a shock to them. I don’t know though. Both options are good schools but I’ve been that the private school has a better structure/curriculum. I think we need to take a tour of both options before we can really make a solid decision though.

Also I know he’s only 3 and he doesn’t have to go to preschool. We can definitely wait a year. We’re just considering it.

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My kids are 5 and 1. I’m home with the one year old every day and the 5 year old will be off school for the summer soon.

In the mean time our favourite baby/toddler activities are done until fall 😢.

We’re filling our time at home with a mix of playtime and chores for now, but toddler is going stir crazy without our playgroups to break up the week and once big sister is home it’s going to get crazy here.

So give me your best go out and do stuff activities.

I have passes to some museums. A few playgrounds in walking distance. Splash pad and pool driving distance. (It’s still pretty cold here, but will be jumping up to hot and sweaty soon enough)

What else are we doing? These kids love to be out and about.

I feel like I have hit this hard wall…I have an absolutely amazing partner who I love dearly, but my brain is going crazy. I feel immense stress and anger about literally everything and I want it to just stop. I don’t know if I have just been too naïve to see it coming but this month has been crazy. My son is 5 1/2 months old so his sleep is a work in progress to put it simply, and I don’t really get any good sleep. Both my parents are struggling and I try so hard not to redirect my feelings at because genuinely he is amazing. I feel so horrible for doing it when I do so I always apologize but it doesn’t mean anything if I can’t get this under control. I just wanna know if anyone has any good recommendations for some good starting points while I try to find a therapist who specializes in postpartum mental health. I already shower regularly and a try to take at least one bath a day to pour into myself. I try doing things I love on a normal basis, but everything feels like a bandaid not a solution.

I’m from California. I moved to Utah with my husband and newborn in 2019. I’ve been a stay at home mom ever since. When I say I haven’t left the house besides errands and doctors visits I’m not lying. I tried to go to a movie by myself last month but had to leave mid movie cus my kid was having a meltdown and my husband needed my help at home. I want to cry while writing this but I want to drive to California this weekend for a couple days- by myself. Los Angeles to be exact. I miss it so much and I just want visit some places and have time for myself. My husband said it’s fine but I’m feeling so guilty. I’ve never left my son’s side since he was born but he’s 7 now almost 8 so he’s more independent. But I feel guilty for wanting to go somewhere without them. My husband has gone on numerous business trips. I feel it’s my turn. Please convince me I’m not a terrible mother for wanting a few days for myself in my hometown.

How much of a social life is too much of a social life?

Please help me understand if anybody has any feedback. If I’m wrong, I’m willing to be wrong, but I’m just not sure

I have been to stay at home. Mom of three special needs kids And for the longest time, it was just me and my best friend and our kids. We did spend weekends together regularly and she would come over for lunch as her job was seven minutes away from my place

I got into a relationship with a man who understands me to levels I have not experienced with other people. We have a great connection. And for all reasons necessary, he really has made a huge impact on my life.

The thing though is, he is not a fan of my best friend.

He felt like we spent too much time together.

So our current reality is that we will spend two hours once a week at my house in the living room to what we consider girls night. We have a glass of wine we watch a show or we talk while my kids are asleep and hers are at home being taken care of by her husband. Saturdays we try to hang out together with all of our children as to the fact that our kids are friends and we’re friends and we live 10 minutes away from each other since I moved.

Now my boyfriend works six days a week, He gets home between seven and eight, which is when we usually wrap up or hanging out on Thursdays or Saturdays. Sunday, he’s off and Sundays we spend with him. we eat dinner together every night and we talk and sit on the patio and do all of that. I’ve tried explaining how much my friend means to me and the kids, as to the fact that they don’t have very many people They consider safe in their world, but she is one of them. Her kids are the only kids that I’ve come across to treat my kids normal

But we’re a year and a half together, and there has been countless of conversations, arguments and negotiating about how much time together is too much time together

I’ve gotten to the point where I’m like I don’t know what to do. She is my best friend and I love this man

He doesn’t like her and feels like I’m not focused on building a family if I’m still trying to maintain the social time that I do with her

Am I wrong for feeling weird about this or what do I do?

we do not go out to bars, get drunk, we don’t go to clubs and he’s not coming home to random people over. it’s just her. we only ever hang out in her house/yard or mine

Hi!
Me and my husband recently talked about me quitting my job and becoming a sahm. I’ve been working days a week two remote where it’s just kiddo and me and two at the office. It’s just becoming too much to juggle working at home with him and paying for a babysitter is honestly more expensive than what I make. Also I WANT to stay home with him and adventure and play. Does anyone have any like real advice about staying home with him. He just turned 1 so I think we’ll be outside a lot.

I’m trying to get better about play dates/groups so that we both get social interaction but today made me feel like I never want to have another play date again lol. My son is 18m and so far has met all milestones except for speech. One of the moms at the play group has a child who’s autistic, and she kept making comments that my son is too, specifically about his lack of speech and the “way he was playing”. It became the full topic of conversation in the group about how I need to get an evaluation ASAP and it all made me feel so bad like I’m failing my child or missing something. I have brought up speech to the pedi and she’s not concerned and has never had any concerns about his development. But wtf? Am I wrong to be upset like this was mean girl behavior? Or am I wrong if I don’t take it seriously? I’m so annoyed that I finally went to a group and this is what happened.

So I became a stay at home mom about a year ago when I lost my job - we have a 2 and 3 year old, my husband has a really good job and we even started our own business together that’s doing well - we can still afford life just have to really budget every month and plan for any big purchases or vacations, etc.

My husband already downsized his vehicle to help with money, I however still drive my GMC Yukon XL that we both really love for a family vehicle (we also have a dog that we bring with us when we go out of town) - we refinanced once but the payments are still $1000 a month and it makes me sick paying so much …. I’m thinking of downsizing to maybe a GMC Acadia since it’s still 3 rows and a lot more affordable.

I guess my questions is … what would you do? Would you downsize or keep the vehicle you all really love??? It could save us $500+ a month if we swapped. Has anyone here downsized from an XL truck to something smaller and still liked it? I’m so used to driving the XL I don’t know how I’ll ever go to something smaller. But I feel like I should do it for our family / so my husband can retire one day 😵‍💫 should also add my husband has zero problem with us keeping the XL … it’s just my inner guilt bugging me!!

I stopped working full time once we had our first child due to my husband's work schedule. He is a pilot and is home for 7 days and then gone for 7 days. I have been a police officer for almost 20 years (we are older parents) so when we decided to have kids, we decided for me to stay home and just work part time because working midnights/12 hour shifts/weekends/holidays just wasn't practical for child care while he was gone his 7 days working. I had no problem quitting working full time because I really do love being a SAHM but I also was grateful I still could do police work part time because I still love the job. Well recently I've realized the risk and liability is too much. I've been out of it full time almost 5 years now. One child is almost 5 and other child is 16 months. I was only working two shifts a month as I only work when my husband is home. Working two shifts and being out of it for so long makes me worry I will make a mistake because I'm not working a ton regularly. So I've decided just to be done. It makes me sad closing that chapter of my life because I am proud of my career and it makes me sad my kids won't see that side of me. I know it's the right decision but it's just a weird/sad feeling. Just looking for any solidarity for others who have been here. Thanks.

I have been co-sleeping since birth, I don’t need any haters or Karen’s in the comments telling me about SIDs or how dangerous it is. My mother did it with all 8 of us and I wanted that for my child as well.
I have friends that say at 8 months, 1 year, 3 years. I just want some honest mom advice. My daughter is 1 1/2, we have a California king and me and my husband sleep very comfortably with her in the bed (and safely) but I’m just curious to the co-sleeping moms out there. When did you transition to their own bed?
And again please no hateful or shameful comments. If you got nothing nice to say, scroll on

My husband thinks since I stay home I have nothing but time. When in reality if I’m not tending to the kids I’m cleaning. It’s really wild how much the same things need cleaning multiple times a day. I guess what I am wondering is how to you stay sane/civil with your spouses who think going to work is all they need to do?

Here's a place to chat about whatever you want if you don't feel like making a post.