r/stayathomemoms • u/Yellowsundress21 • 2d ago
Advice SAHM help
I’ve always been a stay at home mom, I have a 3yr old and a 9month old
However I’ve been feeling completely lost on what to do everyday.. my 9 month old wants to be held but hates carriers. We don’t have a yard we live in an apartment. Going to a park only solves my 3yr old entertainment needs. I can’t cook. I can’t clean. I end up staring at the wall holding her wondering how I will make it through the day. I literally wish I could watch someone do this successfully. What’s wrong with me. What am I doing wrong?
1
u/NervousAd4709 2d ago
I agree with everything said above. I don’t really have much to add in advice but I have 3 under 3 and it was some of the hardest times figuring out how to keep them entertained while also trying to get stuff done. My oldest just finished kindergarten and my middle is about to start this fall. While I was in the baby phase it felt like it was never going to end but then they got more dependent, started playing together more and now I’m about to have 2 in school full time. It goes so fast and I can’t get those years back. I wish I took more time just to hold them and just to just “be” with them. Hang in there & try to enjoy these years with them at home being little ❤️
1
u/Kcquesdilla 1d ago
There is nothing wrong with you. This phase of life is HARD. Does you baby do ok at the park? Like stroller or being held? I’d be exploring the heck out of every park in the town if baby is happy. They don’t need special entertainment. Life is the entertainment for a 9 month old. Library story time is also great for this age for both baby and preschooler. I’d also just try to split up errands and make some kind of errand on the days you have nothing else to do. Make them fun. If you need stuff from Walmart, go look around the toy aisle while you’re there.
1
u/ChristmasDestr0y3r 2d ago
Nothing's wrong with you at all. That's just 9 month olds, they're very attached.
As far as morning meals for myself during that first year, my husband made me something to eat when he woke for work that I could just pop in the microwave. For example, he would make me an omelet or a scramble with a bunch of stuff in it and put it on a plate and I just had to pop it in the toaster and butter it. He would make me coffee too that I could also reheat. We had a lot of things I could snack on too.
In the afternoon I would give the baby her nap and that's when I would prep and cook dinner as well as make and eat lunch when my littlest napped. Dinners were always cooked early and reheated, or if using an instapot or slowcooker, it would sit heated until dinner time.
I made sure to stay tidy. If I cooked, I always rinsed dishes, removed trash, and wiped down counters. My husband always had kitchen duty after dinner and he would care for the older kids while I tended to the baby's bedtime routine.
I always did one load of laundry a day. Whatever I couldn't get to, my husband would pick up the slack. Laundry done but needs folding and put away? He would do that.
We didn't do a lot of deep cleaning that first year, we just made sure to clean up whatever was essential to a sanitary household. You just do what you can the best you can.
We too lived in an apartment recently. I feel ya there. We finally moved into a townhouse two months ago and it's, of course, far better. But, I totally get how it feels to not have that outdoor space. My kids were so cooped up because it was so hot where we lived so I couldn't take the baby outside to supervise them. Now I can watch them outside our porch window, which is nice. I would try to get out of the apartment situaton as soon as you can.