This was the most difficult 9 months I’ve had in a while and a lot of it was mental. Having to be on top of everything at the house and the kids and being alone all the time. I’m getting a part time job, around the same hours as my husband and his mom is going to watch the kids. I’ll probably start next week and I’ll be working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday from 6am-1:30pm. I was honest in my interview saying I’m a stay at home mom who’s dying to get out of the house and get my hands dirty and they loved it! I really appreciate this community and the support I’ve gotten from you guys!

I am 1000% want help, lets be clear. But I’m already tired and mentally maxed. If its an unclear need, sure I should be asking for help.

But if its something like the toys being in the path of the floor, I feel like my husband could just pick them up if I’m on bath duty since we don’t come back down after baths.

“My brain doesn’t work like yours. I don’t see that” … mfer you mean to tell me you don’t see the play couch taking up the entire living room floor? bsfr.

(Vent) I have two kids (2yo girl, 8yo boy) and I have been a stay at home mom for a little over a year. It has been wonderfully rewarding and if I had to do it again I would. With that being said, it sucks. The constant loneliness, being pushed to your absolute limit everyday, no days off, no breaks, and because my husband's work schedule is so erratic, essentially no help. I dont have parents, or grandparents, and all of my husband's family works.

In our state daycare would cost well over half of a full paycheck, so if I were to work it would literally be just to put them in daycare. The only way it would be financially viable is if we send them to a crappy one and I am not doing that. (Abuse within daycares is very common where we are. It has happened to myself, my husband, and our son when he was very young. You need very little to be registered as a daycare in my state.)

I know I can get through this, but I feel like Ive lost myself to being a mom. Who I was before I started this is not the person I am today, and I dont really know how to feel about that yet.

But it doesn't really matter, I have to go make breakfast and get the kids up now.

I don’t post on Reddit a lot, but I am so excited that I have to share! My husband and I work in food service and we moved closer to family when I was pregnant so I could work a few days a week and they could watch the baby. WELL in recent weeks my husband has been picking up lots of shifts and it became clear that we could make it work with him being the sole provider. Of course we have to make some sacrifices but we feel like it is 100% worth it. I quit an hour ago and I could not be happier or more excited for this journey! I’M A STAY AT HOME MOM!!

Just so grateful to be “summer” parenting finally here in the Midwest. What a difference it makes ❤️

Long story short: my husband left Thrusday for a 4 day work related trip to Montana (9 hours away) and we've been fighting about it for months. He originally told his job he couldn't go (would not be penalized for it as its a recreational team building thing) because its my first mother's day and he wanted to do something special for me. Then he spoke with his parents who changed his mind and thought he'd be missing out on bonding with his coworkers and boss. Its an opportunity to potentially become closer to the company and not be the odd man out who didn't go. Needless to say, we decided to try couples counseling because we couldn't come to an understanding of each other.

Fast forward to present day, our couples counselor recommended radical acceptance of the trip and I came to terms that he was going and he was to make an effort to make sure I still felt seen, heard and valued.

My mother thankfully was able to sleep over those nights he was gone to help me with my 5 month old. Let's just say my mom is.....a little half in and half out when it comes to parenting and being motherly. My childhood was dysfunctional and its apparent now why I grew up self-reliant and hyper independent. She even commented how no wonder I'm tired as a stay-at-home mom I'm always busy and I never get a break. She was a working mom so she never saw it from the otherside. So most of the weekend, I felt like I was mothering 2 people. But I'm still grateful for the help I was able to get and for her to realize this is a lot of work too.

Now, after communicating with my husband about how hard this weekend has been and how tired I am and how happy I am that he's coming home.....I picked him up from the airport this evening and he goes "so what do you want to eat tonight?"

No reservations made, no thought behind it, no effort. He offered to cook steaks at home knowing that I don't even like steak. He likes steak. He gave me a mother's day card and bought me a fridge magnet and a sticker that says "Montana."

I told him I'm disappointed that after all the counseling and time he had to plan before and after his work trip he still is basically asking me to plan my mother's day dinner. My first mother's day.

He said "I'm sorry I tried." So then I left and went to a nice seafood restaurant nearby, sat at the bar and ordered myself dinner and a drink. It was peaceful and nice. I had an hour and thirty minutes to feel like a person again.

I'm going to let him lead with couples counseling this week. I don't think there's anything more I can do. I'm proud of myself for standing up for myself and taking myself out to dinner to honor my special day. My baby boy deserves a happy momma.

I’ll start off by saying I’m obviously a chicken shit & I’m scared of driving out to far from my town. my kids have been begging me to take them to the natural history museum (1h 30min from my house on a insanely good day) but I’m uncomfortable with the idea of being so far from home with my kids,6, 3 & 1. To be honest I’m not great with directions, I don’t love driving in busy cities (Los Angeles is jammed packed pretty much all hours of the day) it just sounds like it’s going to be stressful that being said I want to just suck it up & do it but I have my doubts. I don’t really take them anywhere away from home. My husband works out of town so he usually just comes home on Saturdays & leaves again on Sundays. He would take us I just hate that I’m not brave enough to do it myself. Would you go alone?

in an attempt to get my 11 month old to stop waking up at the crack of dawn, we’ve cut his naps from 2, 1.5 hour naps to 2, 1 hour naps. it seems to be on the way to working or will at least get him thru til he can drop a nap. I know it’s been time to cut his day sleep but I’ve been dragging my feet honestly. I’m really struggling mentally with having even less time to myself now. Since he’s been waking up so early, I can’t ever time it right to wake up before him and have a cup of coffee by myself and pray. now with the shorter naps and early wake ups, I feel like I have 0 time to be a human being outside of being a mom. I try to be 100% locked in with him as much as I can so when he’s asleep I feel like I’m playing catch up on the house, my phone and everything else. Yes, I have night time but I’m so exhausted mentally and physically by the end of the day. I am very grateful that he naps well, I know some parents struggle to get any time during the day so I’m trying not to complain too much. It’s just a hard transition and this won’t last forever. Which makes me so emotional to think about him growing up and me being frustrated with this specific season. my son is my whole world and I’m so grateful to spend every day with him, but I just feel like I’m lacking my identity these days.

I dont really have anywhere else to brag about this so I'm going to brag about it here.... apparently I make other moms and wife's jealous... I learned this on Friday... my husband goes to work with home cooked meals for breakfast and lunch so do my kids my son showed off patched jeans (used fun fabric) and now his friends are bugging their mom's for it my preteen says shes glad I'm easy to talk to unlike her friends parents even if I embarrass her (just being goofy)... I dont often feel like I'm doing a good job but the past few days I have really felt appreciated and its been nice

Venting:

I quit my job after having my third baby (almost 3 months). I also have a 2-year-old and an 11-year-old who needs school drop-off and pick-up. My husband works a rotating 12-hour schedule, so some days I’m solo for long stretches.

Some days we manage. Other days it feels like someone is screaming nonstop. I’m overstimulated, touched out, and completely overwhelmed. I haven’t figured out a solid routine, and the inconsistency makes it hard to find any rhythm.

I had postpartum depression after my 2-year-old, and I’m scared it’s happening again. I feel really isolated, most of my friends were coworkers or live in other states since we moved a lot. I don’t really have a village.

I love my kids deeply, but some days I feel like I’m failing at all of this.

Does this get easier? I just need to know I’m not alone.(using my phone and can’t see what I’m typing for some reason?)

My mother in law is coming tomorrow from out of state , I don’t really enjoy her company . I’ve been stressed today with 5 kids . And have no idea what I need anymore .

I want to start thinking of family traditions we could start next year for the kids, for all holidays. We’ve always just followed my family’s rhythm up to this point but let’s just say after how Thanksgiving went, I’m finally accepting that we need to start forging our own path. We are christian so that will play a role in the traditions. I’d love to hear traditions that y’all have either carried on that you love or created yourself. I’m trying to make this fun for us. We have a 5 yr old, 3 yr old and 11 month old with another duckling on the way.

How do y'all do it?! Mostly a vent, but I'll take any advice you can give.

I've prepared the ingredients for our required dish for the massive family gathering (cooking it at the in laws tomorrow). I've done alllll the laundry and packed both kids and myself. I've packed up all the food for the new eater in the house.

My husband .... he went to work. And sent me like 5 FB reels. He came home early because he wanted to "get on the road"....but he's currently taking a nap.

I about lost my shit (probably would've if the kids weren't in the room) when he said "I'm gonna lay down for a while."

Oh ok.... no worries. I get about 5hrs total sleep at night. I'm incessantly talked to and touched. My food gets stolen. I'm still an entire person's main food source. But no, you go ahead and take that nap...

What am I doing wrong?! Why am I so tired and worn out? And why do I want to murder my husband and burn down the world?

I just found out im pregnant (planned) with my second and last baby this morning,

And dont know why it just hit me all of a sudden that my 1st isnt going to be my only kiddo soon. Hes almost 28 months old and still LOVES to nurse. We just fully night weaned successfully about 3 weeks ago and hes been hyper nursing during the day now bc of that.

I do still love nursing him and its so sweet, and i know it will end eventually anyway but now it feels like i have a deadline and that i may be forcing him to wean. But i kind of wanted him to decide on his own when he no longer wants it.

Its making me so sad just thinking about it

I called my manager today and resigned (still on maternity leave, 1.5 months left), and all she said was “Okay.” Not a single question, not an offer to increase WFH days or to accommodate more. I was preparing mentally for this conversation for months; it ended in less than a minute.

This was a manager I was very grateful for as she gave me promotions, high performance ratings and generous bonuses over the past few years. She even went to visit us when baby was 2 months old. I sat on this decision for months after I got pregnant as I felt guilty. Guess I’m not anymore lol

In defense of my manager I guess in this economy she was pressured to downsize the team (she told us a few times) and she probably already anticipated that I’d resign. Well it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m just so excited to enjoy my motherhood and being a mother without worrying about work!

Just wanted to share something (slightly) funny. So my husband always goes on about how my job is "easy" and he wants to do it. I took some time off last week (overnight stay) and my husband watched our 2 children (4 & 1) from midday to 7pm the first day - then 6-7am the next day. 8 hours total actual care. After 7am the next day he took them to kindy / daycare. He was so exhausted he had to take that day off. I was home just before 11am that day (so a little less than 24 hours away).

I think its safe to say he has a newfound appreciation for me. For those who need appreciation from their partners - highly recommend some time away.

Never thought in my 36 years I would be a SAHM but life had its own plans for me.

I’m having a hard time emotionally not giving gifts from my own earnings. I know this isn’t popular and “the cost of childcare” but it still is hard. Especially when things pop up like our broken oven (as of this morning) or my newly broken glasses.

I can’t financially contribute and now have extra expenses I would have just covered myself.

Having a hard time this morning.

Damn the fight between I want time to myself vs I need to go to bed (bc work starts early and NO BREAKS) is sooooo hard.

It’s been in the mid to high 90’s all week and we’re all miserable in one way or another.

My child is bored because we’re stuck inside. At the beginning of the week, we tried going outside but she wanted to go back in after only an hour (and we still ended up with burns despite using sunscreen). So she’s constantly bouncing off the walls and yapping nonstop. I’m overstimulated just watching her and trying to keep her occupied and happy.

My husband isn’t any help at the moment because he’s so exhausted. He’s working outside 10-12 hours a day, so he’s pretty much dead from the moment he steps through the door (not that I blame him). So I’m taking care of him, making sure he rests and eats well on top of being on kid duty all on my own.

Idk. I just needed to bitch for a minute. I never thought I’d wish for 80° weather.

Hi! I’m a mom of two young boys and I’d love to find other moms (and possibly their kids) who are interested in exchanging snail mail. Letters, cards, little notes — nothing fancy, just something fun and wholesome. Hoping to keep it friendly, safe, and low-pressure. If this sounds like you, feel free to reach out 💌🇨🇦

We have a new baby, a 3 yo, and a 5yo. My husband is great and very “helpful”, but that’s just it. I think he feels like what he does is helping me instead of feeling like he’s equally responsible without me dictating what needs done. I feel like this is partially my fault as he has pretty bad adhd and I feel like I enable him a little bit because I have control issues and like to be in charge. But like, I’m always on. Always. Even at night, when he does the feedings for the baby, I have to wake him up or go find wherever he decided to fall asleep in the house. I’m just mentally exhausted.

I had a friend recently say this to me and I got really annoyed about it. She genuinely thinks since I’m not working an “actual job” anymore, that my life is now easy.

The amount of people out there that just think SAHMs are relaxing and having fun all day really boggles my mind.

Some days I can barely find time to feed myself actual food, or go to the bathroom alone, but yeah, at least I’m not “working”!

I am struggling right now with my husband’s work. They have really yo-yo-ed him around with chopping his hours to 32 when he was hired to work 40, and now we’re having to pick up all these different days for overtime to make up for it which is such garbage. When I talk to the people in my life about how difficult it is to already be struggling with the kids but then suddenly our 13 hour day turned into a 17 hour for the overtime, they dismiss me and tell me to, “be grateful he was able to pick up those hours for the money!” I am but I’m pregnant, hormonal, we never get help with the kids and my mental health is not good right now. This has been an almost everyday juggle, it’s exhausting after a while to not have some kind of predictability. I have a much easier time coping when I can count down the hours and know when he’ll be heading home. And then even on his days off aren’t days off some days because they’ll give him a call and he’ll be running out the door with no notice. He’s been job hunting but haven’t been hearing back from anyone. Like, I know, I know, we should be grateful for the hours and money because we really need it but it’s so volatile. I’m thankful he’s able and willing to pick up those shifts, too. I just wish I had more help during all of this.

Ive been on the struggle bus the last 2 weeks. Been a sahm the past 2.5 yrs with a nearly 3yr old and my teenager I homeschool. Hubs and I agreed I had the option to be a sahm after our son was born because I dont trust daycares when the child cant properly communicate if something is wrong.

My struggle comes from whenever my hubs picks a fight its always about how I dont contribute to household, the house isnt completely spotless (like the windows havent been washed in the last 3 months) We dont like in a pigsty, its just not Martha Stuart magazine material.

As far as my contributions go, I know I do. I just dont know how he doesnt see it. Not only do I do the maid service, landscaping, from scratch chef, teacher, parenting, his personal assistant, and household management..I also do all the billing & invoicing for his company, occasionally pick up equipment, and keep all the business crap upto date (insurance, education, licensing, etc) He gets home after working 8 to 10 hours and completely zones out in front of the tv, yet Im still expected to also..'rock the bed' every. single. night. if you catch my drift.

The only thing Ive started to do for me is therapy-which starts next week. I know Im not the only one that struggles in this area, I just needed to vent because if I dont vent Im going to cry.

I am planning on going back to work once the little is potty trained or at least close enough..but I know Ill still be expected to keep up all the business stuff on top of an 8 to 5 job. 🙄

You don’t realize how many friends you’ve lost contact with until you need to vent and your "person" is not there.

I never had a large circle of friends… (thanks to what I just recently discovered had to do with my anxiety)

But the ones I did have, I helped super close to my heart.

We were a group of 4 girls that experienced so much together over a span of 40 years.

But over time… life took us in different directions… and only 2 of us stayed close.

We generally are in some kind of contact with each other every single day. Be it through long phone calls, texts, or memes…

We are each other’s "person" the one we mutually know would never judge one another, we support each other through every thing… we never even question what we mean if something comes out wrong because we just know.

But now… it’s been a few days we can’t speak. Well we can…. But she’s on a well needed weekend getaway with her husband. Alone without kids.

So I am not going to bother her.

But this weekend… has been rough for me. Things are really really hard with my husband. Like…. I want to crawl in a cave and just be alone in the dark smoking cigarettes bad… and I quit smoking over a decade ago.

I realized how lonely I am. How I have no one except her.

Mommas… have any of you been through similar?