Guilt of not working; guilt of working/leaving baby

[u/Efficient-Cookie-419]

Hi everyone,

My LO is 3 months old. Since giving birth in February, I left my teaching job and I don’t plan to return with the support of my husband. I feel guilty that I’m not working because I want to help provide for our house, but I also feel guilty if I were to return to work and leave my baby (my mother would provide childcare). This should be an easy choice for me- to stay home and spend time with my baby.

For the moms that are staying at home full time, how do you do it? Was it hard for you to let go of your careers? Is it hard living on one income?

[u/Certain_Seesaw5588]

It’s such a short period of time from 0-4 when they’re really little. The days are long and the years are short is what they say. If you can financially swing one income, and enjoy being home with your baby then the sahm life might be for you. If you have heavily invested in your career, and that’s incredibly important to your overall wellbeing then you should do that!

It was hard at first to think of letting go of my career, but I had 18 months of maternity leave and at that point it was a no brainer that I wasn’t going to go back. It being hard to live off one income is really dependent on your spouse’s income and overall expenses but for us, we’re fine. I am a 100% sahm (no income at all) and have been for 3 years now and I feel like I blinked. My LO is going to preschool in the fall and I’m just flabbergasted that we’ve had 3 years together and now she’s moving on. 🩷

[u/LittleJoys_Baby]

As a legal professional that has stayed home with my son since he was born 2 years ago, I think becoming a mom has been one of the most identity altering things for me and because it’s a thankless “job” that really provides no validation or tangible reward, it’s very hard to feel content with it all the time (despite our little ones giving us so much joy!). However, this is a season of life that I know I won’t get back unlike my career and if I were to have a regret, I’d rather regret a slower career path than missing out on the early years with my baby. That’s what gets me through

[u/HappyHomeAlmanac]

You will be providing SO MUCH for your home and family by staying home with your baby. I know it's such a mindset shift in our culture that pushes women to earn money and devalues raising children and caring for a home, but it is SO VALUABLE! Check out some resources and hopefully start to fill your feed with that perspective. "In Praise of Stay-At-Home-Moms" by Laura Schlessinger and Suzanne Venker's work (podcast, Substack, books) are a good place to start!