I'd love to hear your povs on why you chose to stay at home and what you were doing before and... Do you ever feel like what you're doing now has less value?

I'm really struggling with my "why" at the moment and with untangling the crazy patriarchal/capitalist ideas that somehow this isn't enough and I should be doing more by earning money and not "just" looking after the kids and the house and our lives...

I find myself saying that I'm so grateful to my husband for "allowing me to stay at home", while it's really me who is allowing my husband to pursue his career... Like I know that but I just don't feel it... I don't feel like what I do matters and I'm questioning it knowing that there's nothing else I'd rather be doing I just feel bad for not providing more for my kids, you know? This is very hard to explai and even writing it down feels like I know that's silly. I no friends who are SAHM and I feel a lot of judgement from my working moms friends and I feel it gets to me...

So I'd love to know why you chose this life because hearing other people talk about it usually helps me feel less alone.

And if you have any podcasts or books recommendations that might be helpful to untangle all of this, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you

Here’s a poll: How many of you stay at home moms/wives/significant others have your name on a bank account or a card with your name? Curious….👀

I feel like some moms that work think they're better than me because they work. Anyone else feel that way?

Do you make your bed everyday? Curious how many grown ups do this. I would say I am a 50/50. Depends on the day, like if I still have a kiddo in my bed when I get up, or if my morning is just slow paced.

are there any mums on here that have all their kids in school? I only see posts of mums with kids who are babies or toddlers which is fair enough ,Im sure its more common to be a sahm and have younger children.But do they exist or am I alone lol .My kids are 4,5,11.Youngest started reception in September and I have been a sahm for 6 years

Asking because I’m scared. I really want to quit my job. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a mom. However, I have a great job. I work from home, make over $100k, have unlimited PTO, 12 weeks paid maternity leave, Fridays off in the summer, relaxed hours where I don’t clock in. I worry if I change my mind I won’t be able to find something similar.

We can financially swing it. I have a car payment but could pay it off with savings if I wanted to. I worry about the burden it would put on my husband, how I’ll feel “asking” for money, if I’ll feel responsible for slowing us down on house upgrades, travel, and savings.

I currently have childcare happening at my house. I get about 24 hours covered but it’s definitely interrupted a good bit because it’s at my house.

I guess I just want to share my thoughts and get your input on both my situation but also your situation. What was it like to finally decide to quit and stay home? Are you enjoying it? Has it been worth the sacrifice?

Hi ladies! I have a dumb question, but are we all getting ready and putting ourselves together on a —somewhat— daily basis? I feel like I just stay in my stained pajamas all day as I don’t leave the house when my husband is at work since we only have 1 working car right now. I have a passion for skincare and makeup, but I feel silly putting makeup on just to stay home all day and wash it off in the shower within 2 hours of my husband getting home. I see some ladies say they wake up, get dressed and do their makeup for the day even if they’re just staying home because it helps them feel put together. I always loved it for them, but for me to do it always felt like I was wasting products? I love buying new makeup to try, but I stopped myself from going to Sephora because I thought to myself what is the point if any new products are just going to sit in my drawer for weeks until we have a dinner outing or special event to go to. I even find myself doing minimal makeup (just powder and filling in my eyebrows) when I know I’m only going to 1-2 stores then coming back home. I don’t know if all this makes sense or not lol. Does anyone else feel this way?

When's your target line to restart work?

I’m debating on becoming a stay at home mom when my baby arrives this fall. I always see debates on women loving it or absolutely despising it. What are things that are your sahm non-negotiable? (Example: must have own car/transportation, housekeeping, etc).

I have a 15 month old and I need sleep. My child will wake up 3-4 times at night. I just want at least a full night of sleep, I am always exhausted to the point I become mean and constantly have headaches. My husband tries his best to help put he works overnight. What do I do? Could i give them a small dose of melatonin? HELPP !

My husband says he finds it weird that I “track his location”. I have him on apple find my and I’ll check it like once a day to see when he will be home from work so I can make sure the house is picked up by then etc usual stuff. It’s not like I track his every move, damn. 🤣 My kids both have phones so of course I have their location.

Do you have your husbands location on your phone? You do right? I told him he’d be really hard pressed to find two wives that didn’t have their husbands’ phone location. I’d say one but there’s gotta be one that doesn’t.

We’re both close enough to 40. We’ve been married for ten years. Two kids.

* they being husbands, wish I could edit the title

I’m having my second baby (my partners first) in 5 months and we were talking about how nights are going to go once he goes back to work when the babies two months. We’re planning on both bottle feeding and breast feeding. I was curious if most stay at home moms did all the nights while their husband worked or did your husbands also help with nights?

So I am a SAHM with a 5 year old and a 2 year old. The 5yr old is in school full time and the 2yr old does 15 hours a week at nursery. Both school and nursery are close by (5min walk). I cook all the meals including making lunch for my partner to take to work. I do all of the cleaning/tidying including the garden. My partner has 0 household responsibilities. I do the budget and shopping/household restocking. My partner works shifts so when he is avaliable we do the schools runs together. I take our 2yr swimming on a monday, we usually (shift permitting) take our 5yr swimming together. (This is to give an idea of responsibilites). I do all drs appointments for our 5yr old who has complicated medical needs. I still breastfeed our 2yr old and respond to night wakings, which still happen at least 1x a night.

My partner works 35 hours a week with a 2 min commute (he works basically opposite to our house). He earns £X. I recieve £Y from the government (benefits) which is just about half of what my partner earns.

We both have individual accounts and a joint which our bills come from, which we both deposit 80% of our money into. This leaves my partner (in his personal account with about double the amount I have in mine. This money is just for personal expenses.

Is this fair? I feel like when my partner comes home he can switch off and just play with the kids/play on his phone (shift depending) while I am still 'on', my shift hasn't ended because I'm making dinner or tidying up etc and he gets to be asleep at night and I am still up - BUT I'M DOING IT FOR FREE. He keeps more of his money but works 'less hours.'. I don't feel like my shift ever ends. I feel it would be more fair if he put in a bit more into the joint and let me keep some back so that instead of him having nearly double what I have, we could have equal?

Does anyone have any advice on how we can save money? We make 100k a year, but it feels like we're struggling to make ends meet while saving to purchase a house. Additionally, we need to kickstart a college fund for our child and plan to have another child in a couple of years.

Recently we shared with our friends that we are thinking of having another baby- we currently have 2 kids. Their reactions were not positive. “Are you sure you want that?” “Why would you do that to yourself?” “Are you going to have enough time for all these kids?” “Oof, enjoy that!” I was taken aback by their reactions. It’s only 3 kids, not 20! We think we want 3 or 4, but you never really know until you’re there. I’m a SAHM and my husband and I have a really wonderful life. We say why not have more babies if we are able to provide for them and we want them. Has anyone else gotten these types of reactions? I honestly don’t think 3 or 4 kids is “a lot.” I came from a family of 6 and so grateful. My husband is an only child and he loves the idea of more kids. Our families are excited for us, but why not our friends??

i just had my third baby and im still currently on maternity leave. my husband has always known that i would love to be a sahm, and he's always told me i didnt need to work and that i could quit my job if i wanted to and we would make it work. but i work full time from home and make a decent income that significantly helps our family financially. however now with 3 under 4, work is sounding like a lot more stress trying to balance it with home life. while on this maternity leave, the thought of not returning to work and staying home with the kids has been on my mind a lot. we are a religious family, and i get the feeling that maybe God is trying to speak to me and tell me that this is what we need to do for our family in this season of our lives.

my husband sat me down the other day and told me how he ran through numbers, ran through the budget, and if we do this, that, and the third we could make it work with me staying home with the kids.

my question to the group is, how were you okay with your decision to leave your job to become a SAHM?

I recently became a SAHM after leaving a job where my company was really pushing the use of AI and requiring us to be trained in AI. I’m wondering if any of you have found ways to incorporate the use of AI into your SAHP responsibilities or managing the home/family? I would ideally like to stay up to date on these skills so that if I do re-enter the workforce in 3-5years, I won’t fall too far behind given how quickly AI is evolving and changing jobs.

EDIT: adding to this edit to say that I’m looking for recommendations on creative uses of AI for things like activities, meal prep, etc. anything that you’ve done that enhances or expedites your already constrained time? I’m well aware that AI can reduce our critical thinking abilities, but I’m of the stance that AI is here to stay and I want to think of new ways to utilize it now with SAHM being my full time focus.

I’ve noticed something about how people talk about traditional homemaking roles, like stay at home moms or traditional wives. From what I’ve seen the discussion often goes in two opposite directions.

The tough job perspective: Some people say being a homemaker is one of the hardest jobs anyone can do. Managing a household, raising kids, cleaning, cooking, and taking care of family is mentally and physically demanding. According to this view stay at home parents deserve a lot of respect and recognition for their work and it's nothing compared to working outside.

The easy and natural perspective: Others often from more conservative viewpoints say that homemaking is natural for women and actually easy. They argue that women are designed for this role and will find fulfillment in it so a career outside the home is not necessary and homemaking is the easiest thing they can do.

I’ve also noticed that people shame stay at home moms in both directions:

Some say it’s so easy that they just stay at home and do nothing, implying it’s not real work.

Others say staying at home is too hard, mentioning cleaning, taking care of kids, and working for the family as extremely tough, and that they would rather work outside because that seems easier.

I’m just sharing what I’ve observed. I’m curious to know what you think. Do you see being a stay at home parent as the hardest job, the easiest, or somewhere in between? How do your own experiences fit into this discussion?

What does your day to day schedule look like? Is your spouse helping a lot or are you thriving alone? Do you have a village? Nanny? House managers or house keepers? I have 4 children 1 in school 2 I homeschool for now until I get my dream job. And 1 that will eventually go to daycare. I need advice because after 5 years of being a SAHM I don’t think I can do it anymore for my mental health but I do want to make the best of it until I get a job. Thanks in advance.

What are you doing with your littles all summer break?

Just what the title says. When I worked full time I expected my husband to contribute more to the household chores. Since I went back to being home I know it’s more my responsibility. But he doesn’t help with the house at all now. I have a 9 year old boy, very hyper 4 year old boy, and a one year old girl. I feel like I’m going crazy. The amount of laundry and dishes for a family of 5 is insane and I have no help. I get the kids to pick up but that’s just as much of a chore because it is a battle getting them to do it.

Do you have any suggestions for how/where to walk with baby during the hot summer months? I love our stroller walks through the neighborhood, but I fear our days are numbered before it is to hot to safely do so. Do you have any advice or suggestions of places where we can stroll and get some exercise indoors?

I've been considering starting to feel more put together during the day. Just simple makeup, nothing complicated, like mascara, tinted moisturizer, and light blush and lip tint.

I'm just battling with the mentality that it might be a "waste" of makeup to use it if only my husband and young toddler are going to see me all day. Whats your thoughts?

When did you start giving your little ones screen time? Also, what do they watch and for how long each day? Thank you!

Currently 20 weeks pregnant with a 4 year old. He’s in school 3 hours/day Monday-Friday. He also goes to speech therapy once a week and swim lessons twice a week. I try to keep our days busy by taking him to the park, walking around the local mall, taking him to the gym daycare, or organizing play dates with friends, go to the library. We usually have at least one thing planned each day. He also does get daily screen time (we try to limit to 30 mins- 1 hour a day max) and he also does quiet time daily. But days like today I literally just want to stay at home and rot. It makes me feel so guilty though because I know he will be upset if we just stay at home all day but I am truly exhausted. I am slowly coming down with a cold that he gave me. Being pregnant makes me even more tired. He usually wants me to chase him around the house but with round ligament pain and just the overall feeling of being pregnant, I am not up to it.

What do you other moms do when you just don’t want to do anything?