When to transition toddler from parents bed to their own

[u/ConcertConfident9805]

I have been co-sleeping since birth, I don’t need any haters or Karen’s in the comments telling me about SIDs or how dangerous it is. My mother did it with all 8 of us and I wanted that for my child as well.
I have friends that say at 8 months, 1 year, 3 years. I just want some honest mom advice. My daughter is 1 1/2, we have a California king and me and my husband sleep very comfortably with her in the bed (and safely) but I’m just curious to the co-sleeping moms out there. When did you transition to their own bed?
And again please no hateful or shameful comments. If you got nothing nice to say, scroll on

[u/North_egg_]

FWIW I sleep with the kids when they want to. My youngest (13 months) will fall asleep for the night by himself but in the middle of the night he won’t go back to sleep unless I lay down with him. My 3 year old won’t go to sleep unless me or my husband is laying down with him but that’s only been the last few months, before that I co slept with him from 4 months - 12 months and then off and on as needed till recently.

I think it’s really just what works for your family and you.

[u/ChristmasDestr0y3r]

The risks of cosleeping is due to other factors anyway. Like people in poverty using air mattresses for their whole family, sleeping on sofa with an infant, or when parents are smokers. I've slept with all 3 of my children. We sleep with my 17 month old presently. We transitioned our children when there were two of them to keep eachother company and they were both old enough to understand why they needed to experience their own room and space. Our oldest was 7 and our youngest was 4. When our littlest turns about 3, we will try then and she will share the room with her two brothers. 

[u/Chickeecheek]

I don't have good advice because I am currently in between my 1 and 4 year old on a queen floor bed and I miss my husband 😂 A King isn't an option right now and the queen in our room is less safe. But I won't give up the easy night feeds.... At least I can start out with my husband, and then join the kids in their bed when the little one wakes up.

[u/Unique_Ad732]

Still co sleeping with my 6yo. Not planning on changing that until my child asks to do so

[u/Ok_Cauliflower_2143]

I currently have my 4 year old and almost 2 year still sleeping with me. When my 4 year old was about 2.5 I did start trying to introduce sleeping on her own and she did eventually starting sleeping in her own, some nights she made it the whole night and other nights she would come crawling into my bed but then we moved into a smaller house and couldn’t set her room back so I just brought her back to my bed. Just recently she’s been asking to sleep on her own so I’m thinking of starting her sleeping in our spare/ dad’s bedroom when he’s home , and see how she does.

[u/Due_South7941]

Our little girl just asked to start sleeping in her own room 😢 Just before she turned 4. we weren’t ready for it! We miss her so much but she still comes in in the early hours of the morning. Soak it all up, when they’re ready they’ll be ready.

[u/Hour_Occasion8247]

Whenever you feel like it .. my 5 year old sleeps with me and he had his down crib was sleep trained and he crawls into bed with me and he has his own bed

[u/Ok-Material-2266]

Co-sleep as long as you want! Especially if all of you are sleeping fine, no need to transition yet. However, if you start to notice that you need more alone time, or things start to change, don't be afraid to make the transition. There are so many different ways to do it.

[u/SyrupUnique2036]

We moved our daughter to her own bed when she was 2. She had a double bed with side rails. I usually read to her until one of us fell asleep. It was often me!

She lives across the country now (she’s 24), and still likes me to sleep with her when I visit. When we go on vacation, my husband sleeps in one bed, and my daughter and I sleep in the other! ❤️

[u/Interesting-Gur-3230]

I still sleep with my 4 year old even though we got her a big girl bed, and I LOVE it:-)

[u/junegem123]

Spouse and I are currently co-sleeping with our 3 year old twins (have since birth). I’m barely now ready for them to sleep in their own bed since they’re such wild sleepers. Have no clue how to transition them to their own bed!!!

[u/Zealousideal-Ad-4281]

My first was about 3 when he slept in his own bed in my room (just a crib mattress on the floor) bc #2 was in bed with me. Then 4 when he started sleeping in his own room. It was harder to get #2 to sleep away from me at 3yo but eventually by 4 he did as well, we pushed two twins together and the brothers had each other right there so that helped the transition. Large age gap and I'm on #3 still in my bed, she's about 3.5 and I've put in no effort to get her out lol but I'm 36 weeks pregnant with #4 and have no idea what is coming for any of us other than we plan to cosleep again so... 🤷🏻‍♀️😅

[u/Famous_Host8588]

My comment will not be helpful, I'm still unable to imagine sleeping without her in the bed at 20months so take your time mama.

[u/accountforbabystuff]

I coslept with all 3 of my kids. It worked so well, as you are seeing, that I stopped trying to get them in their own room, lol. Each kid is different but I’d say by 3 mine would have been ready had I been motivated. I say would have because while my older ones still have their own rooms, their beds are in the master bedroom. They are 8 and 5 (2 year old still sleeps with me).

Now in my defense, my husband works away from home a lot and he is a big proponent of them sleeping by me. He also snores and prefers sleeping alone. So I think we have unique circumstances where it has worked well.

Also my oldest, 8 year old, has ADHD and very restless sleep. She hasn’t been actually scared to be on her own for years, like at age 5 she wanted her own bed and tries again at times, but she still has some lingering anxiety that makes her very restless in her own room and she essentially sleep walks and wakes up a lot. When she’s in her bed, in my room, she sleeps pretty well although still wakes with some nightmares pretty often. So she’s an unusual case.

The middle child we just haven’t bothered, since his sister is here he wants to be here as well but he’d be fine if we pushed him to be in his own room or sharing a room, if he wanted to. He sleeps like a rock all night.

My youngest is still, to me, a baby (she’s 2, lol). I will likely move her to her own bed beside mine in a year or so. By that time I might be more motivated to kick everyone else out of my room!

And our doctor we see for ADHD, whose child also had sleep issues, said her daughter wasn’t ready until age 10. Which isn’t that far away and seems reasonable to me. I got a lot of hate for this on another Reddit parenting thread but honestly I don’t think it’s that weird for a child to not want to sleep alone. But if she wants to sleep here fine. Our family is set up so it works.

For a more tangible answer my brother and his wife also cosleep and they move the kid out around age 2 usually because another baby is on the way. They have a ton of kids.

I think for you the answer is probably “whenever it stops working” but for my kids, age 3 was when they would fall asleep pretty easily with me just being in the room, so I could see it being a good time then.

[u/ConcertConfident9805 → u/accountforbabystuff]

Thank you so much for this! I love sleeping next to her, as does my husband. So we will see when she is ready to be transitioned to her own room

[u/North_egg_ → u/accountforbabystuff]

With your younger kids who sleep in the room but not in your bed, do you go to bed when they go to bed? Or do you lay in your bed till the kids fall asleep then get up and do whatever?

[u/accountforbabystuff → u/North_egg_]

A mixture of both. Typically we all get ready and go to sleep but then I usually stay up for a bit. Their bedtime is 9PM. If it was earlier, we have tried so hard to make it earlier but it doesn’t work, I’d definitely get back up.

[u/Technical_Laugh5371 → u/accountforbabystuff]

I totally agree with this. My parents took the same approach and decided based on when each of us were ready or wanted to. I was about 11 when I slowly, naturally transitioned to my own room. Both my brothers wanted to do so sooner so around 8 and 5 or 6 probably. We all got our own rooms at different times. People used to say we would have attachment issues to our parents or not be able to be independent but that hasn't been true at all, we just each needed to do things as we were comfortable with it and build our confidence.

[u/Dapper_dreams87]

Birth. You transition at birth.

[u/ConcertConfident9805 → u/Dapper_dreams87]

I said no Karen’s here.