for some context me and my boyfriend moved in together in a new flat in august. today when i was getting ready i noticed a black skirt behind/under my drawers. our wardrobes are built in and sometimes stuff gets stuck behind/under the bottom drawer. (i’ve attached a picture to help show) they’re a bit dusty and definitely not mine ):

i’m confused how they’re there because i’ve roughly checked behind my draw before and never found it, but i would just reach my hand behind the draw and grab what I could instead of looking properly like I did this time, so I’m worried if a different girl left it there whilst i was away. the thing is if my boyfriend did want to cheat i don’t know why he would do it here since it’s extremely obvious that this is a couples flat and would be hard to hide all of my girly stuff. but i also know that a man used to live here (strangely one of my boyfriends friends knew the past owner of this flat), but i think maybe a woman used to live here previously since we’ve gotten letters addressed to (what i think) is a woman’s name, but it’s a chinese name so im not 100% sure. i’m going to see if i can find a letter with her name on to check.

the only other suspicious thing i found was what im 90% sure were a different woman’s panties a few days after my mother in law stayed over. i showed my boyfriend and he said they were probably his mums since she bought stuff from primark and those pants were from primark but they were size XS and i don’t think that’s his mums size.. he said they’re probably from my friend who slept over for a few days but i haven’t asked her yet because im scared and embarrassed to ask if she left pants here because if they’re not hers then that’s really suspicious );

what should i do? i know if i ask him he’ll just say they must of been the past owners, but i don’t know. i feel extra anxious because i have roughly checked behind my drawers before and never found them which is strange ): although this time i did check more thoroughly );

EDIT: Thank you for your help and sorry for the spelling mistakes, I’m feeling a lot less anxious now and thinking that these are a super old skirt from a past tenants since they’re from topshop which closed in 2021
also they won’t fit my boyfriend so he’s not cross dressing lol

For context I manage a Hair & Makeup freelance business. I do all client communications, payroll, book additional artists for larger jobs when we need extra hands, etc. I am also a makeup artist so I work on clients as well. The owner of the company (we will call him Bill) is also a makeup artist and hair stylist. I get a base pay each week to run the business and when I do clients I get paid for each of them. But he does most of the clients since he also does hair and has a lot of regulars for cuts, colors etc.

Bill has a trip planned to go out of the country to visit family for 2 weeks. This trip has been planned for several months. Bill is the type of person who gets very anxious and spirals, creates issues in his head that haven’t even begun etc. I talk him down off of ledges often. He is a workaholic and will literally say yes to every single client, even if we don’t necessarily have space in our schedule for them. But at the same time, he will complain about how he’s always working and never has time off or time to himself. He will have complete meltdowns over how exhausted he is. Even though he’s the cause of his own exhaustion.

He has been worried about not having income during the time he is gone. He mentioned maybe a few weeks ago that maybe he should take the work phone with him and handle client communication while he is gone so he doesn’t have to pay me since he won’t have income during those 2 weeks. I told him I didn’t think that was necessary and if money became an issue we would figure it out. It’s something that has happened during times when business was slow and we figured it out. We have been posting on social media about him being out of town, but that I will still be here to take clients. However it’s Summer, kids are getting out of school, people are going on vacation. So things are generally slow for us in June/July.

So he sends me this text a couple days ago. Am I wrong for being upset by this? No clear conversation with a conclusion was ever had about this. Then the fact that he tries to say that *I* never brought it back up?! It’s not my trip nor my responsibility to since this was his concern. Mentioning that we should have posted about him being out of town more literally is irrelevant. It doesn’t hurt or help. It just makes people aware that he isn’t available.

I was under the impression it would be business as usual on my end. It’s truly not even about the money. It’s about the way this has been handled and lack of concern for my personal finances and overall lack of accountability. I’m really just disgusted and frustrated by this. So AIO?

Sorry if this post is formatted horribly, I’ve never made a reddit post before and I’m doing this over the phone 😞

For context, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now at the end of this month. We met online as teens and started talking intently before a few breaks in between due to fights or strain etc etc but we always ended up drawn back to each other even though we were in two different cities and had nearly two hours between us. As I’m writing this I realize now that I did a lot of heavy lifting for our early relationship given the situation he was in but I genuinely thought this would flourish into a long standing love, I was especially inexperienced since I’d never been with any men but him and he seemed to genuinely love me. I used to get uber s to and from his place and get him rides to my place and back because he wasn’t really working due to his home life situation and after a while he moved in to stay with me and my mom because he got kicked out of his place. Since then we’ve been living together and we’ve had quite a few ups and downs; A lot of online cheating from his side and hysterics from mine. I hated him for talking to girls online in flirtatious ways but I felt I couldn’t completely disregard my bad behavior and how absent I had been with him at times. The cheating never progressed past texts but it always made me feel horrible and insecure even though he’d try to reassure me that it was only the attention aspect that made him do it. At this point it feels like one of these has happened every year since we started and on top of that he’s still in pretty close contact with an ex he’s been “friends” with online since they were like 15, so his first love. His phone stopped working around a month ago so he’s been using mine and logged into all of his accounts there, when he finally got a new one he logged out of his snap but not his instagram (the only place they really talk that I know of) and yesterday while receiving a call I get a notification with the words “It’s inappropriate but I like you” on it. From his ex. Obviously snooping is never a good idea but i’ve been given permission to go through his phones before and the message genuinely just struck me across the face before I realized I was opening it, everything you read is the conversation they were having. I feel partially bad exposing her vent but at the same time I don’t think she feels as bad about telling my boyfriend she likes him :/ so I can’t really have too much empathy for her here.

I think i’m going to confront him today but I wanna be sure i’m not just jumping to conclusions again because i’ve been known to do that.

TLDR; Bf is still acting all normal and being abnormally sweet with me meanwhile these texts are being received from his ex, Am i cooked?

Edit: we’re both dads (gay).

I came home from work and my husband had people in our backyard discussing and measuring where a pool would go. He didn’t tell me anyone was coming or that this would be happening. I was confused and angry but he said if it were to happen it would take months anyway if it was possible and that they were only here to assess if it was possible.

I’m frustrated and angry because he hasn’t spoken to me about this at all and didn’t think he have to because they were only assessing if it was possible. Well explain that to two kids under 10 who think this is going happen, our 3 year old has been asking non stop.

Our state is cold af more than half the year so I don’t understand how this could work. On top of that my husband works so much and for the past week he’s been coming home at 9pm when both our kids are asleep anyway. He wouldn’t be the one with dealing with supervising the kids and making sure they don’t drown because he isn’t even home anyway.

We got into an argument because he could take our kids with him when he goes swimming, there’s a great place less than 10 minutes away from us but that would actually involve parenting and supervising them.

But apparently I’m now the villain because the kids know now.

Growing up my grandma made the BEST zucchini bread. To this day zucchini bread reminds me of summer sleepovers and her hugs. She passed away a few years ago and I miss her terribly. Only over the last few months has my aunt has been attempting to recreate her recipes because they were so delicious and special.

We visited my hometown last week and my aunt gave me a loaf of zucchini to take home with us Sunday evening. My husband and I had a slice in the car and I told him about how nostalgic it made me feel and how special it was to me. He enjoyed hearing stories about my grandma and her cooking.

I’ve had a few slices since then, wanting to savor it as long as possible. There was about half of the loaf left when I went to sleep last night, but this morning when I went to have some for breakfast I discovered that my partner helped himself to it and left it uncovered. It’s now hard and stale and I’m pissed!

When my partner woke up , I showed him the bread and said it was extremely disrespectful to let my food go bad. He got defensive and said since he buys most of the food for the household (not even true) it’s not a big deal. He also said that there was far too many nuts in the bread so it wasn’t even good and he didn’t understand why I was making such a big deal about it. I told him that in general he is far too wasteful of food, leaving leftovers out overnight not covering baked desserts etc and we’ve talked about that but for him to let something so familial go to waste is heartbreaking.

He started slamming cabinets and shouting that I was being ridiculous over bread and left for work while I’m trying to salvage what I can of my aunt’s gift. To me it’s not just about the bread but AIO?

I need some outside perspective because I genuinely don’t know whether I was completely wrong here or whether there is more context that matters.

My fiancé and I have been together for several years and have a toddler together. He proposed about 4 weeks ago.

For some background, the last year has been very stressful. He works a physically demanding factory job involving heavy lifting, often in very hot conditions. He has had health issues in the past, including heart-related concerns, struggles with extreme fatigue, and has previously told me about falling asleep at the wheel and even falling asleep while eating. He also has significant debt problems which have been causing him a lot of stress. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and takes medication, which has helped in some areas. He also suspects he may be autistic, although he has not had a formal assessment or diagnosis for autism.

Throughout our relationship, one issue that has repeatedly hurt me is that during major arguments he has sometimes talked about leaving the relationship or being better off alone. We also had a serious incident in the past that involved police being called after an argument. We stayed together and tried to move forward, but it left a mark on the relationship.

I am not perfect either. I tend to bottle things up until I reach breaking point instead of addressing them early.

Over the last few months I have been feeling increasingly overwhelmed. I work, look after our toddler, manage a lot of the planning and emotional side of family life, and have been trying to support him through his debt, health concerns and stress. I reached a point where I felt emotionally exhausted.

A few days ago I finally tried to have a conversation with him about how I was feeling. I wasn’t saying he was a bad person or a bad father. I was trying to explain that I was struggling and felt like I needed more emotional support.

During that conversation I also shared a very dark thought I had recently had because of how overwhelmed I felt. It was something I had never told him before and it took a lot for me to be that vulnerable.

The conversation did not go how I hoped. He became defensive and at one point said he was better off alone.

This hit me incredibly hard because one of my deepest fears in the relationship has always been him talking about leaving during difficult conversations. When he proposed, I genuinely thought we had reached a place where I could raise concerns without feeling like the relationship was at risk.

I was devastated. I cried for a long time.

Eventually I took off my engagement ring and handed it back to him.

At the time, in my mind, I wasn’t saying “I don’t love you” or “I don’t want to marry you.” I felt heartbroken and honestly thought his words meant he was ending things anyway.

However, he sees it completely differently. From his perspective, handing back the ring was me rejecting him, humiliating him and effectively ending the engagement.

Since then things have escalated badly. He has said the relationship ended the moment I handed back the ring. He has said I will never get the ring back, that even if we stay together he would never marry me, and that he plans to move out.

We have both said hurtful things during arguments since then. I’m not pretending I handled everything perfectly.

So my question is:

Was handing back the ring after only 4 weeks of being engaged an unforgivable act?

If your partner told you they were better off alone immediately after you had opened up about struggling and shared something deeply vulnerable, how would you interpret that?

I’m genuinely looking for honest opinions, even if you think I was completely in the wrong.

​My girlfriend (24F) and I (23M) have been together for about 6 months. Lately, we’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch and having some recurring arguments. A few nights ago, after a particularly frustrating fight, I texted my mom to vent. My mom is my rock, and I just needed to talk to someone I trust to get some perspective and clear my head. I didn't say anything cruel, but I was brutally honest about how frustrated I was feeling.

​Fast forward to last night. I fell asleep on the couch, leaving my phone on the coffee table. I woke up around midnight to my girlfriend upset.

​It turns out she took my phone while I was dead asleep and went straight to my texts. She read the entire conversation between me and my mom.

She then proceeded to not understand why what she did was wrong. I just feel like she went behind my back and betrayed my trust by reading texts not meant for her. On top of that, I deliberately didnt tell her the names of my exes because thats none of her business. She found out all of their names last night and got upset by it.

Am I overreacting?

Reupload because I did a terrible job editing out all the names 😬

Me(36f) and my wife(46f) have been together since I was 18 and she was 28. It was long distance. When I met her in person, I didn't feel much spark, but figured a strong friendship is more important than feelings of romance or attraction. We broke up once during long distance, but fell back into dating.

I moved across the country to live with her at 18. Married at 20 at her dying father's wish. I got pregnant at 23 (she's trans) and we moved back to be closer to my family. (We were living in a state with no family, not hers either)

She's a chef, I'm an illustrator. Shortly after our kid was born, I told her that I could support us both now if she wanted to be a stay at home parent. We did that for a few years, though I did end up being the primary parent anyway, doing almost all of the stuff for our toddler. She did all the cooking, we both did cleaning

Finances got rough, so she went back to work for a couple years, until things got better, and I told her it was ok to quit again. We struggled in the expensive state where we lived and moved to a cheaper one where I had other family.

Ultimately, I ended up having to work 8-ish hours a day with no days off to make ends meet. I was still the primary parent, so after working and spending time with my son everyday, I had very little free time. While my wife spent 1 to 3 hours on chores and driving us places each day. After doing this for 5 years I told my wife I was struggling and I needed her to please start working again.

She was reluctant, understandably scared about entering the work force again. But I was disappointed that she looked for a job for a couple weeks, then gave up. I didn't want her to feel nagged, though, so I dropped it.

A bit later, I broke off our relationship.

Resentment probably had something to do with it. But what I told her is that I never felt that spark, she's my best friend and I'm happy to have shared my life with her, but I want to be single for the first time in my adult life. It's a dick thing to do. She wanted to know why I just kept going if I didn't feel romance and attraction, but I think at 18 I didn't know if romance was a Thing I could Feel or if friendship was just the same thing. I was having feelings now for someone I knew, a creative partner I met online, and realizing that friendship and romance are different. And I selfishly wanted to pursue that.

Anyways, we decided to stay roommates and co-parent together. I kept struggling, we both started dating other people. Over a year later, I ask her again to look for work. She started putting in applications, but complained about it often, saying that she won't have time or energy to pursue her passions once she's working.

Which hurt because it felt like her saying that working DOES kinda suck, and that she knew my life was worse for having to do so much of it, but that she valued her own comfort and freedom over mine

Our plan was, once she gets a job, to stay roommates. And she would take over her car payment, insurance, and her credit card bills. While I continue paying household costs, rent, food, utilities, everything for our son, and my own stuff.

Unexpectedly, she started making plans to move in with one of her long distance gfs, and told me how much she would like in alimony for the next 8 years

I was shocked, because we'd been planning for me to keep paying the majority of our costs instead of alimony. Sharing one a household would be cheaper for both of us. When telling me about the new alimony plan, she didn't even express concern for how much more I would have to work to support the household myself and also pay alimony

I said we should consult a lawyer on amount and she was offended I didn't trust her.

We argued for ages, with me saying how hurt I'd felt when I asked her to find work before and she didn't try even tho I was still struggling, and her saying that we supported each other equally, and I'm like...ok but can you honestly say that, looking at your daily schedule and mine, and say that it's equitable?

She said my new gf has corrupted me into a greedy person and all I care about now is money. She says that I stole her youth and home and career, and wasted her life. That she's gained confidence now, and I can't bully her into feeling the way I want her to feel. She called me her abuser. She says I have power over her because I'm the one earning money, so she feels unsafe, like I might kick her out of the house. I've never given her any reason to think I would do that.. I've paid my brother's rent for years because I think everyone deserves a home, and bought him video games and stuff because everyone deserves fun shit too. I only say this because my wife knows this stuff, she should know that's my values and how I behave. She calls me her emotional abuser even though I've always been careful and kind in the way I speak to her.

She tells people I attacked her over alimony (the screenshots) and that she's done being bullied by me.

I'm honestly devastated. I'm drinking more lately, and when I'm not drinking, i can't stop thinking about this. She wants to go back to normal and being best friends, and I try, but all I can think about is these horrible things she thinks about me. I haven't been perfect, and I know those years we were married she could have been building a life with someone else. So maybe that was selfish of me. But we had a kid, and she had 7+ years with lots of free time to pursue her hobbies. I never regretted our life, but now I'm wondering if she's right.

AIO?

My brother has started doing an annoying habit of inviting his nanny to our private family functions. I think he does this on purpose to 'put us on our best behavior' as he would rather have us act formal , than be comfortable.

But the entire event, also including my folks, his wife, and his young child- he just talks to the Nanny the entire time. The nanny literally looks at us glaring at us, schmoozing him the entire time.

She also has zero problems acting like she's closer to my brother and his child than any of us- and was doing major side-eye if we share any family stories or get sentimental.

It's fine- but like there are literally 5 adults to one kid- I really think bringing the nanny is unnecessary.

It's weird to have what I consider a stranger tagging along for family birthdays & holidays.

Maybe I'm over reaching- but he does NOT do this to his wife's family.

(We're millenials and she is about 7 years younger. Shes only worked with him for about 5 months. )

I (15f) have two siblings, 17m and 11f. as much as parents say they don't have favorites, it's obvious mine do. My mom favors younger sister and dad favors older brother. Both my parents used to blow off things I wanted to do and just promise they will make it up to me but never. My older brother is like in sports and i feel like my dad is living through him. Then my younger sister is just babied by everyone because she was born premature but like shes fine now so i still dont get the fuss. So I just do things on my own and it's whatever. Sometimes, it's like I need to get seriously hurt or do something bad for them to notice me.

Anyway, my parents are getting divorced and my siblings were like saying who they would rather stay with. I was with my dad and older brother, my dad is teaching my brother to drive, and then my brother said that if my dad does move out, then he'll go with him. My dad smiled really wide then when I said I'd live with him too, bro just stopped smiling and said it'd be better if I lived with my mom. later, i told my mom I'd live with her if we had to pick who to stay with and then she looked at me for like a minute before saying she's cool with just staying with my younger sister.

So I got upset and walked out the house. I went to a friend's house and turned my location off so they couldn't come get me. Only started getting texts about where I am around like 9pm. I swear my parents forget I exist sometimes.

Parents came to get me around 11pm, when they asked why I left. I explained that I feel like a forgotten child, that no one wants to take me in. Then they started saying they were joking and then they said I overreact and I'm not their child so I need to stop being this selfish for their attention.

Mind you, I got my septum pierced in February. My dad only noticed in April. I'm literally on the cross country and swim team because they're busy with my older brother and younger sister.

Anyway, am I overreacting?

My brothers girlfriend just gave birth to my nephew, and our whole family is of course very excited to meet the little guy!
I made plans with my SIL to stop by last Saturday and see him, but later I got a text from my brother about how they have made a ‘rule’ about no Muslims in their home to “shield their new child from those types of people”, and that my boyfriend therefore wouldn’t be welcome.
He specifically said “no one with associations to the muslim community”, so I assumed I wouldn’t be welcome either, as my boyfriend is Muslim.

He did say that he personally don’t have anything against my bf and that he can see my nephew at family gatherings but not in their home. So I decided not to go.
My bf and I stopped by their house to lay the gifts we bought them at the front door.

Afterwards I got messages about why I didn’t come in and say hello and so on. Now most of my family agree that it’s a messed up rule, but think I should still make the effort to see my nephew and that I’m taking it out on him..
I do want to see him, but I saw how guilty and ashamed my bf felt when he heard about it.. I just feel it would be so disrespectful to him if I went.. like I’m okay with people discriminating him in that way.
So AIO?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We have great chemistry and we are best friends. Unfortunately, we have also had a lot of issues and fighting. He made a few poor choices throughout our relationship with a female coworker (nothing physical, just emotional validation and closeness and lying) and I gave him chances and asked him to make changes and respect my boundaries. He didn’t put in the work and he didn’t change or respect my boundaries after he broke my trust.

We have been fighting about this same situation for over a year now because it’s never actually been resolved. A few days ago, I saw him after almost a week, and his energy was off. He wasn’t being affectionate or anything, and it really hurt my feelings so I expressed my needs. He blew up and it turned into him panicking and spiraling and wanting to break up then stay together and ultimately asking for a break.

He wants a no contact break and he wouldn’t tell me for how long. He said he carries a lot of guilt and pain and resentment over his mistakes and actions. He said he wants space so he can reflect and start to work on himself to love me better.

I have been devastated and lost and blind sided by this. Is this repairable?? I am in shock and agony because I am in a horrible state of limbo. I know I want to repair this but he might not want to. I am afraid he will just leave or ghost me. Am I overreacting?? I’m losing it.

TLDR; boyfriend blindsided me with a no contact break after fighting too much

I have been dating my boyfriend for a while now.
He is deaf, and honestly we’ve always had amazing communication and a great relationship.

Recently he got a huge promotion at work that he’s been stressing about for months. I was so proud of him and wanted to celebrate BIG.
I saved up and booked a reservation at a fancy restaurant in our city. It’s known for having incredible food but also it’s quite dimly lit

When we got there and were seated I could tell he was getting tense cause of the very dim lighting, he was struggling to read my lips clearly and couldn't see my facial expressions well, which made it hard for us to carry on our usual conversation.

I noticed this so I pulled out my phone and started typing out messages in a notepad app to communicate with him so he wouldn’t feel left out.

He got deeply offended. He typed back that the atmosphere was making him feel incredibly isolated and anxious and that I should have known better than to pick a dark restaurant where he can't communicate properly.
He said I cared more about the aesthetic of a fancy place than his comfort.

I whispered that I literally spent weeks trying to get this reservation just to surprise him, and that using the phone was a perfectly fine temporary solution for one night.

He just shook his head, stood up, and walked out of the restaurant. I had to pay for the drinks we ordered, cancel the dinner, and leave by myself.

I feel like walking out on me and wasting that effort was a huge overreaction.

AIO for being angry and deeply hurt by his behavior? Or was I actually in the wrong here?

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for quite a while.

Months ago, we made plans to see each other this summer. It was something that meant a lot to me, and we had been talking about it for a long time. Due to several changes in plans, I ended up giving up an option I was really excited about because I thought the alternative would allow us to spend more time together later.

For months, I was the one searching for flights and organizing everything. Every time I tried to discuss it, the conversation would get postponed. When it finally came time to make a decision, I found out that she had barely looked at the options I had been sending her.

The few alternatives we had left didn’t work for her, and she told me she’d rather not make the trip at all. When I suggested we keep looking for other options, she ended the conversation and said we could talk about it another time. At that point, I felt like all the effort I’d put in over the past few months had been for nothing.

What hurts the most isn’t just that we won’t get to see each other. It’s feeling like I was putting in much more effort and interest into making it happen than she was.

After we argued, I told her that I needed some space and didn’t want to talk for the time being.

Is it reasonable for me to be this upset, or am I overreacting?

Back in presale, I spent about $300 on tickets for a concert on July 10 in Phoenix, about 4 hours from where we live. We've had these plans for months.

Today, my boyfriend asked what date the concert was again. After I reminded him, he told me that he had made plans with his friends to drive to San Diego on July 11 and stay in an Airbnb for his friend's girlfriend's birthday (assuming because he's not even sure himself on what the occasion is for).

His proposed solutions were either:

1. Leave for Phoenix early, attend the concert, then immediately drive 4 hours back home after it ends so we'd get home around 3 AM.

or

1. Stay overnight, spend money on a hotel, leave around 6 AM, and rush back home so he could leave for San Diego by 10 AM.

The problem is that I've already done a concert trip with him where we were on a tight schedule the next day, and it was extremely stressful the entire time. I don't want to spend months looking forward to this concert only to spend the whole trip worrying about getting back in time for plans that don't even involve me.

I tried to gently point out that since the concert was planned months ago, maybe he'd have to decline the San Diego trip. Instead, he doubled down and made it clear that San Diego was still happening.

At this point, I got frustrated and put my concert ticket up for sale. I told him that if he truly planned on still going to San Diego, I would rather not go to the concert at all than deal with a rushed, stressful trip. I wasn’t willing to spend hundreds of dollars for it to end that way. He didn’t really understand why I would cancel, since in his view his trip didn’t interfere with ours and it was just a matter of timing.

We went back and forth about it several times, and I made it very clear that I wasn’t comfortable turning the concert into a rushed trip. Despite that, he still insisted that both plans could work and didn’t budge on canceling San Diego.

Now that I’ve canceled, he’s suddenly saying he’ll skip San Diego and spend the weekend with me instead. But honestly, my feelings are hurt because it feels like his first instinct was to prioritize a newer plan with his friends over plans we had already committed to months ago. The fact that he’s willing to cancel now almost makes it worse, because it feels like he only changed his mind after I decided not to go.

AIO for canceling the concert and putting my ticket up for sale after how he handled this situation?

I used to pay my boyfriend 160 a month for gas bc he picks me up often to/from work and home(I dont have a car). Earlier today he asked me to go out to eat bc hes craving something okay cool we're going out. I later tell him this month I'm not going to rely on him and find other ways like uber.
Then he calls me back later, in summary he doesn't want to give me rides anymore at all because i'm not paying him.
I get upset like aren't YOU taking me out on a date. He's super adamant on it though
Am I reasonably upset or just over reacting?

edit: I didn't expect this to get a lot of traction 🌞, I should clarify I only paid him 160 last month for may. I didn't really pay gas before and if I did it would be every other month or so 140; he didn't want money for gas back then so he never pushed it until it got more expensive. we usually split the bill when we go out.

Am I overreacting, or is this inappropriate?

I’m a 26-year-old female radiology student doing clinical rotations at a hospital. One of the CT techs at my site is also a professor at a nearby university. He’s around 50 years old and knows a lot of people in the imaging field.

I’ve never flirted with him, shown interest, or given any indication that I wanted anything other than a professional relationship. I’m also in a long-term relationship.

Recently, he pulled me aside when we were alone and told me that he “loves to see me,” that he’s “always looking at me,” and that he’s “going to get in trouble for the way he looks at me.”

The whole thing caught me completely off guard. I didn’t know what to say, and I just felt really uncomfortable. What makes it harder is that he’s well-connected professionally, and I’m worried that if I reject him or report it, it could somehow affect my future opportunities or make clinicals awkward.

Part of me feels like I should tell my clinical instructor and ask to be moved to another area. Another part of me wonders if I’m making too much of it since he didn’t explicitly ask me out. I just don’t want to reject him and he kind of bad mouths me to the surrounding hospitals .

Am I overreacting? What would you do in this situation?

I’m honestly shaking while typing this because I feel so stupid.

I (28F) have been best friends with “Maya” (29F) since college. For the last three years, she’s been struggling financially at least that’s what she told me. She lost her job during the pandemic, bounced between part-time gigs, and was constantly stressed about rent and bills.

I make decent money. Not rich, but stable. Over time, I started helping her out. At first it was small things covering dinner, grabbing groceries for her place. Then it escalated.

When she couldn’t make rent one month, I lent her $800. She paid back $200 and said she’d get the rest later. Later never came. After that, it became normal for me to float her money “just until payday.” I paid her phone bill more than once. I added her to my streaming accounts. I covered a weekend trip because she “really needed a break.”

About a year ago, her car broke down. She cried in my kitchen saying she didn’t know how she’d get to work. I co-signed on a used car loan for her because she said she had no one else.

I’ve probably given or fronted her around $12–15k total over three years. I never kept exact track because she was my best friend. I figured if the roles were reversed, she’d help me.

Fast forward to last weekend. We were at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Maya had too much to drink and started talking loudly about “finally meeting with the financial advisor about the trust.” I thought she was joking. I asked her what trust.

She went pale.

Apparently, her grandfather passed away four years ago and left her and her siblings a significant inheritance. Not “a little savings.” I’m talking high six figures. The money has been sitting in a managed trust that she gets access to in stages, but she’s already been receiving quarterly payouts for the past two years.

Two. Years.

While I was paying her rent.

When I confronted her the next day, she said she didn’t lie she just “didn’t feel comfortable talking about family money.” She claimed the trust felt “untouchable” and that she didn’t want to dip into it for everyday expenses because it’s “for her future.” She said she was technically cash-poor month-to-month, so my help was still valid.

I asked her why she let me co-sign a car loan if she literally has access to investment accounts. She said it was easier and she didn’t want to deal with paperwork.

I feel completely manipulated. It’s not about her having money good for her. It’s that she watched me sacrifice savings, delay a vacation, and stress about my own budget while she had a financial safety net the entire time.

I told her I need space and that I’m considering speaking to a lawyer about getting my name off the car loan. She cried and said I’m blowing this up and acting like she “scammed” me when I offered to help.

Now some of our friends are saying inheritance is complicated and that I shouldn’t feel entitled to her family money. I don’t feel entitled to it. I just feel deceived, i wouldn't keep such information from her and idk if i'm stupid for expecting her to do thesame.

AIO for cutting her off over this?

Okay, so this is moreso a little debate with me and my girlfriend. I think it’s very likely that we do get married in the next couple years so the topic came up about honeymoons and potentially what we’d want to do. She brought up Japan and that it’s somewhere she’d really want to go. I told her I’d be down and we get into how long what to do etc. I’m a weekly golfer (not that good but I really enjoy playing) and told her that they have some really nice courses over there and that I’d want to go play one. She immediately shut it down and said that it’s so selfish of me to want to play a round of golf on our honeymoon where we’re supposed to be celebrating our marriage. I say that it’d be 4 hrs during a two week trip, what’s the big deal? She did not change her mind in that it should be all about us celebrating us, that it I wanted to go play golf over there I should just go another time with my friends. Now more context. I do not think after going to Japan I would ever go back, so this will likely be a once in a lifetime trip for me. I’m not a big traveler and the costs are insane. Which one of us is being selfish?

Edit: for those asking, she is getting into golf, but definitely doesn’t enjoy as I do. Also this isn’t a big argument but a conversation we had. I suggested bringing it to Reddit to get other opinions. This is not a hill either one of us dies on whatsoever lol. I don’t need to but I’d be lying if I didn’t want a once in a lifetime experience for a game that I enjoy. Also yes I suggested she go to the spa or something of that nature. Please continue with opinions thank you.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a few months. He has a female friend he’s known for about two years. Her current boyfriend is his best friend and they play in a band together, so we’re all around each other a lot. They met through her current boyfriend.

The friendship seems unusually intense to me. He’s in her will, jokes about getting custody of the kids if she dies (she’s even put that in her will), buys gifts for her children when he travels, and has become involved in various legal issues surrounding her life to the point he’s been dragged into court-related matters and investigated. She is currently battling for full custody of the kids with baby daddy number two.

None of the children belong to her current boyfriend (my boyfriend’s best friend). The fathers are from previous relationships and, according to everyone involved, have caused a lot of problems over the years.

What makes me struggle more is that she’s never been particularly welcoming towards me. When she first met me she warned me not to “take him away from her.” On another occasion she drunkenly told me to go and fuck myself. She also accused me of being after his money despite me having a successful career and assets of my own.

She also seems to create a lot of drama and emergencies. One example was when one of her children supposedly had an emergency and my boyfriend ended up late for dinner with me because she needed his help. It later turned out she mainly wanted him to catch a rabbit she’d accidentally let out into the garden.

To be fair to my boyfriend, when I’ve raised concerns he’s been very understanding. He agrees we’ve spent too much time in his world, has been making an effort to spend more time in mine, and hasn’t dismissed my feelings.

My questions are:

Would this level of involvement with a friend of only two years make you uncomfortable?

Would her behaviour towards me be a red flag?

Am I being unfair because I simply don’t like her?

Does this sound like a normal close friendship, or does it sound emotionally over-involved?

How can I protect myself and my boyfriend at this time?

I’d like to think of myself as a pretty reasonable person, I have no intention of taking him out of her and the kids lives, but this level of involvement is affecting our peace and the amount of fun we have together. I love him but I want a better life for us. It always seems to revolve around her and her latest dramatic situation.

I am 16 almost 17 and I jsut started working at a restaurant in a small texas town as a day cook, I show up early every morning and wait for the boss to open, it was me and my boss alone prepping for breakfast waiting for others to show up, I was wearing jeans and a tank top because it gets extremely hot and theres no ac in the kitchen, he looks me up and down and says "did ypu bring a shirt to work in?" I said no this is what im wearing he proceeds to say "can you have somebody bring yoy a shirt? We have to have sleeves." I say yes and pull out my phone to call my ma and he looks me uo and down again and says "you know I like it because im a guy." He is 57 and I am 16. I walk away feeling weirded out and call my mom, then I go to clock in and he walks behind me taking a picture of me and says "to make fun of you later." I awkwardly say no thank you and walk to the back continuing to prep until my mom gets there. When she does ai get a bit emotional and call my dad who speaks to the boss who acts innocent and then apologizes saying he had no idea it made me uncomfortable. After a few minutes of calming down I came back and asked for the rest of the day off and told him I will speak to him in the morning.

What should I do, quit or stay? Am I overreacting?

i got my nails done on friday because i wanted to get something strong on them to grow them out. i do my own gel nails, and they never break, chip, or fall off.

as seen in the messages, i went to get sns because i don’t have the supplies for it. i paid $73 with a $27 tip.

the gel chipped and yesterday i went in to get that fixed. they did it for free.

today, two nails fell off entirely.

i called them, my boyfriend called them (he paid for them), and my mom called them (long term client)

every time, we requested a refund, they kept pushing for me to come in and get them redone.

i saw that in google reviews, people requested refunds and the owner responded telling them to text the number for a refund. so i texted the number.

they are still refusing a refund. am i asking for too much or am i right that it’s unusual for nails to fall off and chip within the first five days??

I (43F) have rheumatoid arthritis. I have to use a different pharmacy than my usual for one of my medications, and overall they have been okay.

Yesterday I got the text that my medication had arrived and was ready to be picked up. I made it there today, but I'm having a rough pain day- so I decided to use the drive through. There was two people in front of me, nbd. I got to the window, and there was a sign saying they were short staffed and they appreciate our patience.

I sat there for 10 minutes or so. I returned some calls and texts, ordered dinner- nothing antsy or anything. All of a sudden an employee came to the window and (in a really ornery tone) told me that I needed to walk in. There were two people behind me at this point.

I did pull away, and went and parked and walked in. By the time I got in there they were at least helping the person behind me. I got my meds and left--

I feel like I should talk to the higher ups though. I wasn't upset about waiting, and I don't think I deserved to be treated the way I was.

Am I overreacting?