r/AmIOverreacting • u/Life-Fishing-8437 • 23h ago
👥 friendship AIO for cutting off my “broke” best friend after finding out she secretly has a massive inheritance?
I’m honestly shaking while typing this because I feel so stupid.
I (28F) have been best friends with “Maya” (29F) since college. For the last three years, she’s been struggling financially at least that’s what she told me. She lost her job during the pandemic, bounced between part-time gigs, and was constantly stressed about rent and bills.
I make decent money. Not rich, but stable. Over time, I started helping her out. At first it was small things covering dinner, grabbing groceries for her place. Then it escalated.
When she couldn’t make rent one month, I lent her $800. She paid back $200 and said she’d get the rest later. Later never came. After that, it became normal for me to float her money “just until payday.” I paid her phone bill more than once. I added her to my streaming accounts. I covered a weekend trip because she “really needed a break.”
About a year ago, her car broke down. She cried in my kitchen saying she didn’t know how she’d get to work. I co-signed on a used car loan for her because she said she had no one else.
I’ve probably given or fronted her around $12–15k total over three years. I never kept exact track because she was my best friend. I figured if the roles were reversed, she’d help me.
Fast forward to last weekend. We were at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Maya had too much to drink and started talking loudly about “finally meeting with the financial advisor about the trust.” I thought she was joking. I asked her what trust.
She went pale.
Apparently, her grandfather passed away four years ago and left her and her siblings a significant inheritance. Not “a little savings.” I’m talking high six figures. The money has been sitting in a managed trust that she gets access to in stages, but she’s already been receiving quarterly payouts for the past two years.
Two. Years.
While I was paying her rent.
When I confronted her the next day, she said she didn’t lie she just “didn’t feel comfortable talking about family money.” She claimed the trust felt “untouchable” and that she didn’t want to dip into it for everyday expenses because it’s “for her future.” She said she was technically cash-poor month-to-month, so my help was still valid.
I asked her why she let me co-sign a car loan if she literally has access to investment accounts. She said it was easier and she didn’t want to deal with paperwork.
I feel completely manipulated. It’s not about her having money good for her. It’s that she watched me sacrifice savings, delay a vacation, and stress about my own budget while she had a financial safety net the entire time.
I told her I need space and that I’m considering speaking to a lawyer about getting my name off the car loan. She cried and said I’m blowing this up and acting like she “scammed” me when I offered to help.
Now some of our friends are saying inheritance is complicated and that I shouldn’t feel entitled to her family money. I don’t feel entitled to it. I just feel deceived, i wouldn't keep such information from her and idk if i'm stupid for expecting her to do thesame.
AIO for cutting her off over this?
302
u/thommyg123 22h ago
NOR nor were you overreacting when you posted this exact story like last month
BAD BOT BAD STORY
30
u/MissPoohbear14 22h ago
I literally knew I read this story before. I think it was longer than a month ago though. How annoying! I've also read one just like it, only a little different. Lmao
15
u/Due-Ambassador-4425 22h ago
It’s an interesting emotion jerking story, but not good enough to post twice, and if someone does this, do you think it is made up?
15
u/Brilliant-Garlic-688 22h ago
It was metrically good enough to post twice in the sense that the bot that scrapes the posts with the right level of engagement to make copycat posts made a copycat post.
•
•
u/sleepyrivet 4h ago
I was reading this and it literally sounds like the plot from that movie Roommates.
34
u/llamadramalover 22h ago
Funny. I had this damn near exact same thing happened and the snake I knew her name was “Mayra”. Maya is trash. Speak to a lawyer get your name off her car loan. Cut this snake off and never speak to her again. Do the same to anyone who defends her. These are the absolute worst kinds of people you don’t need in your life.
9
u/Warm_Sandwich5038 22h ago
Lmao my snake was named Mara. I am starting to wonder if this person gets around.
17
u/Life-Fishing-8437 22h ago
Wow, that’s eerily similar. I’m sorry you went through something like that too. The car loan is definitely my biggest concern right now, and I’m looking into what my options are. As for the friendship, I’m having a hard time seeing how trust can be rebuilt after something like this. I don’t know what I’ll do about mutual friends yet, but I do think I need some distance from anyone who’s dismissing why this feels like such a betrayal.
12
u/notsocrazycatlady69 21h ago
When you talk to the lawyer make sure you have any relevant emails and texts as well. Not just for the car- everything
Hopefully karma comes after her and the ones saying you have no right to her money, like it did with my ex fiancee. We moved into a home i mortgaged because he said his credit was too bad for a mortgage. I was very clear i couldn't afford it on my own and he promised to get a second job. Needless to say he didn't even after I got a second job. I kicked him out after i came home from working a double and he was basically having a pizza party with name brand delivery pizza (there were other reasons too). Then magically he had enough credit to buy his own home. But that's ok- his basement floods every time it rains 😁
Best of luck to you
7
u/Bellarinna69 22h ago
Unfortunately you are never going to be able to trust her again ..(no pun intended). She is a liar and she took advantage of your friendship, your kindness and your livelihood. I would ask her to repay the money that you helped her out with. It was given under false pretenses. Definitely speak to a lawyer. Good luck!
29
u/NoneCreated3344 22h ago
damn! This is nuts. I would for sure talk to an attorney. Fronting thousands of dollars when she just didn't want to do paperwork is wild stuff.
14
u/Life-Fishing-8437 22h ago
That’s exactly what stunned me. If she had told me the truth from the start, I could have decided for myself whether I still wanted to help. Finding out after years of covering expenses and especially after co-signing a loan that she had other options available the whole time makes it feel completely different.
8
u/cotton_estes 17h ago
I don’t think OP is overreacting at all this isn’t about her inheritance being "yours" it’s about her letting you take on real financial risk while hiding that she wasn’t actually in the same situation she claimed
43
u/Vaaliindraa 22h ago
NOR, she literally did scam you!!
28
u/Life-Fishing-8437 22h ago
That’s why I’m struggling with this so much. If she’d been upfront about her situation, I would’ve made very different decisions. Whether it legally counts as a scam isn’t for me to decide, but I definitely feel like I was misled by someone I trusted.
11
u/PiccoloImpossible946 22h ago
Yes you were scammed and used. Not just misled. Please don’t be so nice going forward with anyone.
See if you can try and sell your car. Look up the laws in your state regarding this
2
u/dylssmove_pinks 18h ago
The inheritance itself isn’t the issue it’s that she kept accepting your money and even let you co-sign a loan while knowing she had a safety net the whole time that’s what makes it feel so dishonest
16
u/ComfortableBedroom76 22h ago
Definitely NOR
I have a friend like this as well. I knew his grandparents left him a trust and his mom just passed unfortunately but she left him $$ from the other side of the family but I didn't really think it amounted to a huge amount at this point in life
Last year we went to Vegas for a few shows at the sphere. I fronted the $$ for the tix. I booked the hotel on my credit card, etc. Since I knew he still hadn't found a new job, I told him no worries. That I would work out the accounting after getting home and I took my time so he wouldn't feel any financial pressure. About a month later, I send him an Excel spreadsheet showing he owes me about $850. Again, no worries.
Then, my wife sees him posting pics on Facebook of his family vacationing across the UK late that summer and I'm thinking, what about me?
I had to send him a guilt trip email that I had in-state college tuition coming due for my son and I needed all the $$ I could find. He paid me almost instantly
5
u/dylssmove_pinks 17h ago
Funny how the money appeared instantly once it became clear they actually wanted to pay you back instead of just putting it off forever
•
16
u/SimplyMadeline 22h ago
Now some of our friends are saying inheritance is complicated and that I shouldn’t feel entitled to her family money.
No, they're not. No real human people say things like this. This is AI slop.
10
u/NatashOverWorld 22h ago
She did scam you 🤷🏾♂️
You helped her because she lied and said she had no options other than you. Not 'it was easier if you did it'.
You're not entitled to her family money, but she should not have scammed you by pretending poverty.
I doubt a lawyer would get you off the hook legally for the loan, but I wonder if you have a case for emotional distress. You can actually prove her conduct was outrageous and intentional.
NOR
5
u/Pretty-Inside-4324 21h ago
yeah she absolutely played you here, it’s not about her inheritance it’s about her letting you believe she was broke while taking your money the whole time. i’d be distancing myself too honestly
2
u/Sbitan89 22h ago
Lol as someone who has worked for collections in a bank, banks dgaf about your court order. It's a court order for the other individual to take themselves off and often that still requires a refinance in just their name they must qualify for.
23
19
15
6
u/Dry-Clock-1470 21h ago
She went pale! She was malicious lying.
Demand payment in full. Tell her what ever the fuck you need to. Imply you'll blast her grift job. I bet other friends were taken in to.
Once you get the money. Block and ignore her greedy dishonest ass
NOR
10
u/Alarmed-Speaker-8330 22h ago
Made up crap that never happened.
If this happened YOR because you’re the idiot…to yourself. Co-signing a car loan for someone. Pffft.
4
•
u/Careful_Bend_7206 9h ago
Tell your stupid ass mutual friends that you are not feeling entitled to her family money. But that you’re sure as shit entitled to the money that she extracted out of you under false pretenses. Sorry girl, you need new friends.
3
u/Adventurous_Oil4513 22h ago
NOR. Your friend took advantage of you. She is extremely selfish and inconsiderate taking advantage of your generosity. She is also gaslighting you. You should sue her for all the money you used to help her.
3
3
u/Silly-avocatoe 22h ago
What is the value of her quarterly payouts and did she explain why she has not used some of it to pay you back for the many times you've paid for her stuff? Even if she didn't want to talk about her money situation, she should still have paid you back in some way since she has been receiving payouts for 6 months.
In general she sounds flaky and risky as a friend, but as she has been your best friend for five-ish? years, if you value the overall friendship, you should at least lay down why you feel betrayed so that she hears it directly from you. I believe it's not so much about the money as being taken advantage of and the secrets she kept, which is not how real friendship works.
Of course NOR.
3
u/Maine302 19h ago
She did scam you. It's refreshing to hear that she recognized this herself. She knows she scammed you. You should give an accounting of everything you helped her with and tell her you want your money back--or does the help only work one way? Then cut her off.
•
2
u/AutoModerator 23h ago
In order to prevent spam and bot posts, this subreddit temporarily removes some posts until OP proves that they are human. Please reply to this comment and answer the question: if you could have any superpower, what would you choose?
Mods will manually review submissions and approve posts with a correct response. Please be patient, especially during overnight (USA) hours, as our mod team is not online 24/7.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
11
5
4
u/Life-Fishing-8437 23h ago
if i could have any super power, i'll choose the ability of being invincible
9
u/JimDandyPants 21h ago
It’s strange that your capitalization and writing style changed so much from your post and other comments. Mods, I call bot. 🤖
2
2
u/LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa- 22h ago
NOR. You were absolutely being deceived. She constantly plead poverty, used you as a backstop and has barely paid you back. Talk to an attorney and get your name off the car note.
2
2
u/Icy-Yellow-797 22h ago
She’s not your friend. She worried about her future while you spent yours on her. SMH.
2
u/Unique_Excitement248 22h ago
She felt entitled to your money, you are entitled to be paid back your money with interest. She's how people become billionaires.
2
2
2
u/SafeWord9999 21h ago
Just as you shouldn’t feel entitled to her family money, she should feel entitled to your money either. She needs to pay it back or you’ll go the legal route and your friendship is done. I mean it already sounds done anyway
2
u/VenturaHighway377 21h ago
Document everything. Paper trail, texts, co-signing loan papers. Take it all to a lawyer. Not sure if you will recover anything because she didn’t hold a gun to your head but worth a try. Stop being so generous.
2
2
2
u/Take-that-1913 19h ago
NOR. You have every right to feel deceived because that is exactly what she has done. I really don’t know what recourse you have with regard to getting your name off the car loan. I don’t know if it would do any good, but speak to a lawyer. Perhaps you can get a judgement against her if she owes you money. She could easily ruin your credit if she defaults on the car loan. At the very least, your buying power is limited because of it & your FICO score is affected. I would insist she pay off the car note, pay you back & walk away from that friendship. She’s a user.
2
2
u/Steups13 17h ago
Nor. You need to get off the car loan and figure out how much she owes you. I also advise you to let others know what she has been doing and how much she owes you. Get your side out first because she will switch it up and say you realised she had money and are asking for it. Bring your receipts.
2
u/MotorMinute150 17h ago
NOR.
Talk to a lawyer and get it situated. She shouldn’t have done that and that was wrong of her to do so. She’s not a good friend.
•
u/Natural_Cricket_2540 13h ago
NOR.
She lied to get you to pay for her things.
You should cut her off. That is not fair to you. It's your money, and it's just stupid for her to be like "oH i DoN't HaVe MoNeY" when she has high six figures. Get away from this woman.
•
u/Little-Ad-8226 12h ago
I am actually raging for you 😡😡😡 what a pos!! I would demand something back and get off the car loan and block ! She’s always had money behind her so just sees you as her petty cash purse!
Eta NOR
•
u/Stars_Skies97 11h ago
You sound like an amazing and generous friend. I'm sorry she took advantage of you for so long. You are 100% correct to feel the way you do and I would also feel deceived by her.
Just keep in mind for the future that she showed her true colors to you already, don't give her any more chances.
NOR
•
u/Fresh_List_440 10h ago
Take the car keys and park the car somewhere else until you figure it out. She used you, give her a dollar figure of what she owes you. If its not deception, then make it right. Otherwise cut your losses and walkaway. NOR
•
u/FederalCover2020 9h ago
NOR.
She didn’t “act” like a scammer, she is one. She used you as a spare wallet because it was convenient and allowed her to keep her spending money.
Go to civil court. Get back what your owed and emotional damages (if you want to go that far)
And then cut her off forever. Make sure to get evidence of all the times she asked for money and told you she had none.
Good luck
•
•
u/EDJardin 8h ago
Nor, it's not complicated, she just found it easier and more lucrative to be a mooch. Get your name off the car loan, change all your passwords, and never give her even one more penny.
•
u/ThinConsideration948 8h ago
YNO.
She cried and said I’m blowing this up and acting like she “scammed” me
She did!
•
u/tattoovamp 8h ago
She scammed you. She lied to you. She manipulated you. She used you.
She is not a friend.
•
u/curiousblondwonders 7h ago
Shes not a friend. A friend wouldn't have lied for 2 years and then act like the victim.
"Id consider dropping this if you pay me back all you've borrowed and remove my name from the car loan. You lied, ypu misrepresented yourself and thats fraud. So fix it or I'll seek other options."
•
u/reddog342 5h ago
i would get my name off that loan if nothing else I would not co sign on a loan for my wife or son man you were an easy mark
1
1
1
u/Sbitan89 22h ago
Probably NOR but MOR.
Work in a bank, often see trust account transactions. Depending on the rules she really may not have access to funds. She also may have heavily moderated access.
While not the norm I've seen some crazy stipulations around age, marital status, line in the family.
Hell my wife is a will be the recipient of trust funds but only after her parents pass and even then it's technically set up to be split between her and for the grandkids (our kid and his cousins). My wife's half siblings will get nothing but their kids will get some as grandkids also.
1
u/Angel8675309 22h ago
Nor Hope you get some from her voluntarily and can salvage the friendship. Good luck
1
u/Traditional-Buy-9107 22h ago
No. Wow, this is just plain horrible. How dare she. I'm so sorry and I know you are hurt. For good reason.
1
u/JazPrncess1 22h ago
NOR. She DID scam you. Sue her for whatever you can prove - probably small claims court. You won’t get everything she owes you but maybe you can get some of it back
1
u/Bright_Athlete_8579 22h ago
Get a lawyer
NOR
I mean you’re an idiot for doing all of this. So that aside - what a snake.
I’d be suing her
1
1
u/Beautiful-Ear6964 22h ago
NOR. If it were in a trust that she couldn’t access yet, then that would be more understandable, but she had money available and still chose to take your hard earned cash. That’s a level of entitlement and selfishness that would be a dealbreaker for me in any kind of relationship. I would absolutely get your name off that loan if you can. The rest of the money is probably gone.
1
u/TugboatToo 22h ago
I would cut her off because she lied by omission all those times she took money from you and didn’t tell you she really did have it. She was just too lazy to figure out the paperwork to her own trust.
1
u/karlkovacs 22h ago
NOR and get a lawyer. This is fraud at worst, and enough deception and lies that warrant a lawsuit to recoup what she stole from you.
1
1
u/goddessofspite 22h ago
Nor she is a scammer. Get a lawyer now and get your name off that loan. Make it that she has to pay the loan off immediately or refinance it in her own name and do not ever trust her again. Unfortunately you got played but stop letting her get away with this. She isn’t a friend.
1
u/recoveredamishman 22h ago
This person is careless with other people's trust. Tell her you need her to repay all the loans, the vacations, all of it. This person took advantage of your good nature and friendship and accepted money from you she didn't actually need but pretended she did.. So, yeah, she did scam you.
1
u/himynameisbrittany 22h ago
Man kick that mooch to the curb and never look back. Ask HER for something, doesn't even have to be monetary, and see how it plays out for you
1
u/Whedonsbitch 22h ago
NOR. You need to tell her that she can pay off the car now or you will go to the bank and get yourself removed, which will likely require her to refinance. Give her a clear deadline and stick to it.
Are you sure you’re the only person she has been asking for financial help from? She might be scamming half a dozen other people. This person is not your friend. Tell her you desperately need money for something important and see what she says- I would bet she will have all sorts of excuses for why she can’t help you.
1
u/dingleberrycherries2 21h ago
cutting her off is the nice option, i woulda fought her especially if we were already drinking😭 not proud to say but yeah u have a right to be angry! NOR
1
u/BeautifulChaosEnergy 21h ago
I’d look into taking her to small claims court to get your money back. She’s an asshole on so many levels it’s mind boggling
1
u/Le_G_Sauce 21h ago
What kind of person would do that to a “friend”? That is so selfish and inconsiderate. I’d talk to an attorney about getting reimbursed for your expenses and cut them off. With friends like that, who needs enemies.
1
u/MyCat_SaysThis 20h ago
What a completely dishonest, manipulative person she is. She used you because it was “easier”. Be sure to see a lawyer because this lying wretch doesn’t plan on paying you back.
Not overreacting. And ignore those supposed friends that say you are.
1
1
u/Soggy_Sun_7646 20h ago
What a horrible human. Yes. Check with a lawyer about getting your name off the car loan. Yes , you were scammed. The attorney can advise you about the possibility of receiving compensation…Not an attorney but can you sue someone for taking advantage of you? I would cut her off completely. You are not overreacting.
1
u/Next-Drummer-9280 20h ago
Good lord, you need to get smarter. You also need to learn the word NO.
Talk to a lawyer and once you’re off the loan and she makes restitution for her debt to you, CUT. HER. OFF.
1
u/Flimsy_Most_4763 19h ago
Definitely NOR
And I wouldn't want anyone in my circle like that either. Inheritances complicated? Sure, but that doesn't mean it's a secret or something to hide from you if she's comfortable enough asking for money, then she should be comfortable enough telling you that she may have the potential to pay you back, as a real friend would do. I'd file a county lien against her name IMMEDIATELY after tallying a total for her tab. (File civil lawsuit against her personally, after winning go to your local county clerk with judgement, file a lien accordingly. If she ever intends on having her credit cleared from that lien, she'll have to satisfy the debt with you first)
1
u/ApprehensiveBet3984 19h ago
I don’t think you are. From the little I read it’s lowkey taking advantage of you and your kindness. I think you are reacting exactly as you should, I would actually lost it icl😭
1
u/Flimsy_Most_4763 19h ago
Also, not to call your behavior wrong in anyway, but if you don't have extra cash as like not part of your regular budget, just tell your friends/family you don't have any money available. Offer them some local resources for support, and if they aren't homeless by the following month you know they probably have other methods of income.
1
1
1
1
u/GodsGirl64 18h ago
NOR-“You have 10 days to pay me back $15k and provide proof that you have paid off the car with my co-sign on it. If you don’t, I will take you to court.”
You have absolutely been scammed and she is trying to gaslight you into believing that she did nothing wrong. She is a liar, a thief and a manipulator.
Let her know that if she meets your deadline, this can end quietly. If she refuses then you will have no choice but to let the world know what really happened.
1
u/shakebakelizard 18h ago
I know people in a similar situation with the trust thing. They never asked me for money but they do have normal jobs and stuff. You wouldn’t know it unless you know what to look for.
Don’t ever give anyone money unless you can afford to lose it. Don’t expect repayment regardless of what they say. Don’t attach any strings to it. You’ll be happier that way instead of worrying about whether the conditions were met.
I know a drug dealer who said, “Whatever someone owes you, it’s easier to make that money than get someone to pay you back.”
This is absolutely true because if you lent the money, you have the means to make the money. If they borrowed it, they obviously didn’t have it (or in her case, weren’t willing to part with it) to begin with. And they also lacked the ability to make it. Furthermore they’ve probably borrowed from other people as well, so you’re not necessarily at the front of the line.
1
u/Whole-Ad-2347 18h ago
I’ve known people like Maya who have much more financial means than me who acted like they were so poor so they could get other people to buy them meals and other things. I kind of think that something is wrong with them personality wise. There is a sense of entitlement to them.
1
1
u/Cool_Relative7359 17h ago
NOR.
She did scam you.
Get a lawyer and get your money back. She can afford it.
1
u/crikeyyyy 17h ago
She should've paid you back. "Its too much paperwork and a pain"
As if it wasnt a pain for you to work your butt off to earn 12-15k
You're right to be mad. It's the principle of it
Shame on her. She needs to pay back what is owed and buy out the car note. She can easily afford it..
The other friends are rats for siding with her. Hell with them too
•
•
•
u/Ok-Big1202 15h ago
Cut her off like a bad habit!!!! Good bye see ya!! See now who is going to help you!! It is amazing the people you help it is always the one who turns the back on you!!!!
•
u/KeyBox6804 15h ago
NOR document as much of what you loaned her as possible. Talk to a lawyer then sue for whatever you can recover. Friendship is over anyway since I hope you will never trust her again. Try to get your name off the car but that will be difficult.
•
u/luckygirl131313 15h ago
Your friend is financially irresponsible, people like her can’t budget, regardless of income, assets, she’ll always overspend nor
•
u/LoopyMercutio 14h ago
NOR- Tell her she can do the “complicated paperwork” and pay you back every dollar, NOW, and maybe, maybe salvage your friendship and trust. Or she can spend it in court and lose any chance of forgiveness and friendship and you’ll sue her for every cent and interest.
And tell the friends exactly how much she has borrowed and how she manipulated you, how you feel absolutely used, and lied to 100%.
•
•
•
u/Optimal_Day_1516 13h ago
You’re not mad about her inheritance you’re mad that she let you take real financial hits while choosing not to be transparent with someone she was actively accepting help from. That’s not entitlement, that’s a trust breach.
•
u/LeadingAd4128 13h ago
You’re not reacting to the inheritance you’re reacting to the fact she let you carry her financial stress while she stayed silent on a safety net that directly changed the reality of your help. That’s not entitlement, that’s a trust break.
•
u/Ill_Mission_1225 13h ago
try to make nice with her and get something in writing about how much you loaned her
•
u/mznutmeg 12h ago
A word of advice. Never ever co-sign for anyone. If a person doesn’t take care of their own name and credit, they won’t take care of yours. Tell her she needs to refinance the car into her own name or you will force her to sell it to protect your credit. She’s definitely a scammer!
•
u/OwlUnique8712 12h ago
NOR- she knew she was taking advantage of you and she sees the inheritance as her money. She never intended for you to find out about it because she would have kept taking and kept acting broke so you would continue to hand over what you earned. It's time to add up all you have given and covered for her and also the car loan issue. Print all of it up and give her the bill and address it with your lawyer. She used you because she never thought you would find out about her money. Good luck
•
u/CuteCommission6485 12h ago
She conned you. Boundaries. Great learning experience. Many people use other people’s money to keep theirs growing. Only the haircuts and clothes change over the decades. Welcome to adulthood.
•
•
•
•
u/Nadja-19 10h ago
You aren’t feeling entitled to her family money. You’re entitled to reimbursement for loans. She lied to you, manipulated you and is now gaslighting you with excuses. Maybe one of these friends can co-sign the car loan. Ask them if any of them would have helped her out financially if they knew all this. I’m guessing the answer is no. This was a hard lesson.
•
u/BogusTexan 10h ago
It’s time for a loud, adios ladrona mentirosa! It is doubtful you will ever see any repayment, even a token, IMO. Her argument will be that the money was a gift and not a loan. And, she will really believe all of the money you spent or gave her was a gift because you were friends.
Can you document all of the amounts so that you can prove she received the money? Do you have any written assurances she will repay you? Take that proof to the attorney. The lawyer
will likely want half or more of any amount that can be recovered as part of the attorney’s fees you will owe. You will have to decide if a long, protracted lawsuit to recover part of the money is worth the effort.
I sold a car to a friend in another state who grew up in a wealthy family, but due to circumstances, she allegedly did not receive much inheritance. She said she would pay for the car after she had a job, and she needed a job to go to interviews, etc. Four years later, I needed the money and asked for her to pay for the car. Turns out, she had put her inheritance in an irrevocable trust she created to hoard her money. I don’t know its terms, but I believe she could have accessed money if she chose to do so. Because we had been close friends for over 30 years, I trusted her to pay me, but I still had to wait even longer for the money when I demanded she pay me until she “scraped” it together.
Some rich folks are rich because they live off other people’s money while hoarding their own until that “rainy day” when they need to use their hoard and cannot find another sucker to bail them out. It was a tough to learn that I was a duped because I was a friend. It was an expensive lesson. Don’t loan money unless you are prepared to lose all of it, because a “friend” will construe the loan as a gift.
•
u/Hefty-Comparison-801 10h ago
It sounds like you're under-reacting because you haven't said you've demanded your money back or the loan co-sign get amended to remove you from it.
•
•
u/wowieowie 9h ago
NOR - Theft by fraud is a real thing. Take her to court. The judge will make her pay you back all that money and removed from the loan.
•
•
•
u/IAmGroot6936 8h ago
NOR
She sounds like a narcissist. As long as you're on "her side" she's probably pleasant to be around for the most part. But trust me they always charge a price even to those they would call friends.
•
u/Significant_Rate8210 8h ago
Contact a real lawyer not a Reddit lawyer. NOR. I'm sorry that someone used you and took advantage of you. Cover your ass.
•
u/Dame_Niafer 8h ago
NOR but you may be setting yourself up to lose a lawsuit if you have grounds for one.
See a lawyer and please stop talking about this to Maya and to your "friends". Anything you tell them now could be used to stymie any case you have against Maya.
If you really did front her five figures, and she was deliberately deceiving you for most of that time, TALK TO A LAWYER.
PS there are a couple of legal names for situations in which people are deliberately deceived into giving other people money that those other people do not really need. One of those names could apply to this situation.
•
•
u/Prudent_Valuable603 7h ago
You co-signed a car loan, that’s a contract. Good luck breaking that. You can ask a contract attorney but good luck.
•
•
•
u/TheMarkMatthews 6h ago
She’s cut you off as a friend a long time ago already. You were just her bank machine. I’d tell her to pay you back although it sounds unlikely she will. An expensive lesson maybe. Take some self confidence lessons and don’t be a door mat
•
•
u/Nittwitterz 5h ago
you decided to help her. its a bit your fault for not bothering to check the truth behind her story. and if you know her that long xou should know her family is rich
•
•
•
u/MostlyBoatsandBikes 4h ago
NOR - I’d have been very angry.She’s been scamming you, I’d speak to the police and a lawyer.
•
u/SupaSpurs 4h ago
There is a reason some people get rich and others remain poor. OP you are one of the nicest people around and who wouldn’t love to have a friend like you!- loyal, generous, understanding and kind. Your friend is one of the other kinds of people and your opposite. They do say opposites attract. If your friend IS a real friend she would offer to pay you back. The fact she has not - really tells you all you need to know. Get a lawyer and your name off the loan. Wishing you the best of luck.
•
•
u/Tsolobot 4h ago
I am an avid believer in actions representing persons character and sticking with that profile.
•
u/jjmart013 3h ago
NOR. So it was just easier for her to take advantage of a friend than to spend her own money.
•
•
u/HariSeldon16 3h ago
Discuss with an attorney. Sounds like a great case for fraud in the inducement.
•
u/AuroraDF 3h ago
Do not cut her off. Yet. Instead, force her to pay you back every penny. THEN cut her off. What a bloody cheek.
NOR in any possible way.
•
u/DancinginHyrule 3h ago
Not a lawyer but you need one.
If she grossly misrepresented her financial situation to get the loan, there is a decent chance you can get out of it.
Also, she didn’t want to use it on “everyday thing”. Okay, fair if she meant clothes and shopping on Temu. But rent?! Food?!
Fuck her. Tell every single friend that you paid her rent because she was too lazy to “do the paperwork” to get the 500,000$ (or however much) waiting for her in an account.
If they don’t see how fucked up that is, you’re better off without them in your life.
•
u/McTazzle 3h ago
NOR. At all.
She knew what she was doing, and there are other people around her who knew about this, because the way you found out was her talking about the trust to other people. Not just other people, mutual friends, who also knew about it and didn’t tell you.
So it’s not that she’s uncomfortable about talking about her inheritance, it’s that she didn’t want to talk about it with you, because you were funding her.
This would be a dealbreaker for me.
It’s not just that she deliberately misled you, benefited from your generous friendship, while watching you struggle – ‘lending’ her money you could easily afford to go without, and not just for necessities but for a holiday.
It’s that, even now that you know, she’s still not stepping up. Where’s the acknowledgement that you saved her? Where’s the offer to repay you? To pay for a holiday for you, to say thank you?
I have ADHD and struggle with executive function tasks. Even if that’s the reason that it’s taken her four years to sort out the trust, if I for some reason didn’t disclose this aspect of my financial situation to someone who was bailing me out time after time (and I can’t imagine that, for a start), I would be fucking repaying them once I got my act together, and then some! But she hasn’t mentioned that at all.
I’m so sorry that the person you considered your closest friend isn’t anymore. That doesn’t mean what came before wasn’t real and true but she’s not that person any more. At least not for you.
•
•
u/Overdrive_Brain 2h ago
NOR - she did scam you. You never expressed an interest in her giving you any of the money from the inheritance, you simply expected common respect and consideration for your money. This reads like your friend is a combination scammer, mooch, entitled princess with no regard for other people's money as long as they're using it to support her.
•
u/Reichiroo 1h ago
I have an inheritance. Its not complicated once its been paid out. NOR. She's full of crap and I'd tell her you expect full repayment or youre taking her to court.
•
•
u/OkShop6524 15m ago
NOR…check with a lawyer and I’d itemized everything over the years as well get your name off the loan. That is not your friend.
•
u/ChaoticAmoebae 10m ago
Nor she did scam you. Text her and get a confession on record if you can. Play it cool like I’m just so upset because xyz. This is a nuclear situation. You don’t need her money but you do deserve bank every penny she pretended to need. It your other friends don’t get that you need to cut them off too.
1.5k
u/Effective-Several 22h ago
Definitely check with a lawyer.
NOR