r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • 2h ago
❤️🩹 relationship My partner barely looked at the travel plans I’d spent months working on and then canceled the trip. Am I overreacting?
[deleted]
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u/Keytarfriend 2h ago
I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for quite a while.
but no longer, it seems
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u/HereComesTheDiddly 2h ago edited 1h ago
Lmao… try to imagine this right.
If your partner really wanted to see you, then why do they not give a shit? Why don’t they have the same energy as you about potentially seeing each other? Ask YOURSELF critical questions and think about it. Like actually think about it.. lmao
That ain’t your partner yo, that’s OUR partner MOR - I don’t think they’re that into you ngl, or they’re emotionally invested or physically with someone else 🤷🏽♂️
Edit: OP even though you’re a complete stranger, I don’t want you to be someone’s back up to get attention from when they’re bored, someone’s second choice, their safety blanket from loneliness, which honestly I feel like might be the case. Sometimes life gets hard and the decisions you have to make, even harder.
Find someone who gives you that same energy back my dude/dudette, life can pass in the blink of an eye and time absolutely flies as you get older. Don’t sell yourself short, the right person is out there waiting to book trips and live life with you.
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u/liminal_loss 2h ago
With love, unless you have concrete, exact plans to close that distance and you are seeing each other regularly in the meantime, I would not say you’re in a relationship with this person. There is no relating. You’re just talking. You’re not overreacting, but I think you need to reexamine this situation altogether.
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u/Kandis_crab_cake 2h ago
If she wanted to be with, you’d know. 100%.
If it feels like she doesn’t, it’s because she doesn’t. You don’t need her to spell it out. You’re a grown man, read the room.
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u/YorkPepperMintPaddy 2h ago
MOR but this reads like you were full steam ahead and ignored some important signals along the way.
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u/Cocklecove 1h ago
He probably was assuming his gf wanted to see him as much as he wanted to see her. That's natural to do when you think you are in a relationship. At least he found out before he spent any money on a trip
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u/CaptainBristol 2h ago
NOR - your long distance partner won't commit as they are probably already committed to someone thry live with. Hence the coolness. Cut your losses, find someone whose local where you can grab a coffee not flights across the world - if nothing else think of your carbon footprint.
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u/youknowimright25 2h ago
What does quite a while mean? How many times have you actually meet this person?
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u/AnyPromotion4506 2h ago
1 year. We have seen each other 3 times
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u/youknowimright25 2h ago
If you really want to see her. Just plan to go see her. Stop the whole vacation thought. She doesn't want that.
Do either of you have plans on moving closer any time soon?
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u/Opening-Sir-2504 2h ago
It’s reasonable, definitely. You have every right to be upset.
That being said, please realize that all of this, all that she did, didn’t do, and blatantly ignored in regard to this trip and actual, in-person quality time with you, tells you all you need to know. She is just not that into you. Sorry, OP.
NOR.
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u/MotherOfLochs 2h ago
NOR for the wasted effort that you’ve put in: you are under reacting by not just giving her a lifetime of space. She doesn’t want to see you, let alone be with you. Why continue to beat a dead horse?
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u/Sally_Stitches_ 2h ago
Gotta be honest this sounds like you are her back burner partner. The backup. Sits on the shelf until she is ready to play. The one she can take for granted because she thinks you’ll be there when nobody else is so she doesn’t get lonely. I’ve spent time as that person myself. I let people keep me as a last resort. I doubt she even ever took your plans seriously. Stop wasting your valuable time and effort on someone who just isn’t into it like you are. NOR
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u/ProfessionalYam3119 2h ago
All right, she wasn't that interested. But there is no excuse for not having communicated that to you, and for allowing you to waste all of that time. NOR.
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u/Commanderkins 1h ago
NOR.
And yes it's totally reasonable and valid that your feelings are hurt. OP, you should be with someone who appreciates your efforts and wants to match them. That's the kind of person that will make you feel satisfied, excited to do things for and with but also appreciated and loved.
This person is exhibiting the opposite traits. Sorry your trip isnt working out but don't worry it'll come along but with someone who will care and you'll be blown away at the difference.
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u/Hot_Assistant_3826 2h ago
You put in all the effort she didn't, how you didn't notice soon enough is beyond me. Long distance relationships will never work ever, she's probably getting stuffed right now as you wonder why she cancelled the plans.
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u/AsparagusOverall8454 2h ago
NOR but the girl ain’t interested. You should take the hint and dump her. She don’t want to date you.
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u/titsmgee1977 1h ago
She’s telling you she doesn’t want to see you. She’s just doing it in a shitty way.
I have made considerable effort to just get on a train to go see my husband at work so I can have lunch with him and see his sexy face and I live with the dude.
When we want to be with someone we make efforts to do that. It’s time to read the room. You deserve someone who wants to plan a trip with you.
I’m sorry.
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u/el_grande_ricardo 1h ago
Do you see the red flag? It's waving in your face.. .
She doesn't want to meet you in person. Probably because "she" has been catfishing you. How much money have you already sent her?
Info
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u/GellyG42 1h ago
Are you sure you’re actually still in a relationship?
And if so why would you even want to be with someone who (despite rarely seeing you) doesn’t actually want to see you. Your partner should be excited for upcoming plans
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u/ItsJustLobster 1h ago
NOR. All of these so-called long distance “relationships” are really just avoiding actual in person relationship opportunities. It’s super easy to be all romantic and interesting when you don’t ever have to deal 1:1 in person. I see so many people blowing up their lives because y’all do very little, if anything, face to face. Break up and meet someone real.
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u/ProfessionalBread176 2h ago
You dodged a bullet. She wasn't that into this