Am I overreacting for want to report staff/professor at clinical for making a move on me

[u/PastelPrincess_2]

Am I overreacting, or is this inappropriate?

I’m a 26-year-old female radiology student doing clinical rotations at a hospital. One of the CT techs at my site is also a professor at a nearby university. He’s around 50 years old and knows a lot of people in the imaging field.

I’ve never flirted with him, shown interest, or given any indication that I wanted anything other than a professional relationship. I’m also in a long-term relationship.

Recently, he pulled me aside when we were alone and told me that he “loves to see me,” that he’s “always looking at me,” and that he’s “going to get in trouble for the way he looks at me.”

The whole thing caught me completely off guard. I didn’t know what to say, and I just felt really uncomfortable. What makes it harder is that he’s well-connected professionally, and I’m worried that if I reject him or report it, it could somehow affect my future opportunities or make clinicals awkward.

Part of me feels like I should tell my clinical instructor and ask to be moved to another area. Another part of me wonders if I’m making too much of it since he didn’t explicitly ask me out. I just don’t want to reject him and he kind of bad mouths me to the surrounding hospitals .

Am I overreacting? What would you do in this situation?

[u/ChocolateMaya]

NOR the comment about ‘always looking at me’ crosses professional boundaries, reporting isn’t overreacting, it protects your learning environment and future opportunities

[u/CherryMoonFang → u/ChocolateMaya]

Yeah, comments like that can definitely make a professional space feel uncomfortable fast. NOR

[u/MaintenanceNew2804 → u/CherryMoonFang]

And I can almost guarantee OP is not the only/first person he’s approached in this manner.

[u/Camgore]

NOR - Wtf man why can these pigs just find someone attractive and let that be that? I think lots of women are pretty but why be a fucking weirdo about it? He knows what hes doing. He knows hes in a position of power above you. He knows he can strangle your career if you make the wrong move and gets off on that power. I would tell someone ASAP and get yourself moved away from there.

[u/Choice_Mountain8824 → u/Camgore]

yeah that kind of comment is understandable emotionally but it’s also jumping way too far into assumptions about intent without any proof

[u/verbaldata → u/Choice_Mountain8824]

No proof? He’s 50. He’s been around the block. He says “he’s going to get into trouble” because he knows very well that what he’s doing is illegal.

In this day and age, we’re all well aware of the rules and why they exist. Sexual harassment trainings, etc. Yet he willingly breaks those rules while outright acknowledging he’s breaking them.

Of course he gets off on it. Otherwise, why do it at all? He could easily choose NOT to say sexually harassing things to a much younger underling at work. Yet he does it anyway. That is intent.

Whether or not he intended to “harass” her is irrelevant. His behavior constitutes harassment.

You don’t need proof that he intended to make her worry about the consequences to her career if she rejects him. The simple fact that, as her superior, he chose to harass her guarantees this outcome.

[u/Mcbriec]

Inform your boss and ask to be moved. It’s unlikely that you are the first and your report may be the tipping point where he gets stopped.

[u/Special_Falcon408]

Definitely NOR. Doesn’t matter if he asked you out or not, he said some gross things and since he’s in a position above and he knows it would get him in trouble that makes worse. He’s plenty old enough to know what he did and said isnt okay and should be focusing on his job instead of staring at women half his age.

I wish u had advice about what to do professionally. I’d never say don’t report but I totally get worrying how it might affect your job, especially if nothing comes of your report. At the end of the day, you might regret not saying anything and there’s always a good chance he’ll do this to other women and maybe be more inappropriate with them, but having a report now might just stop that. It’s likely enough he’s done this with employees before you and that he’ll try something with you again. I’d ask yourself if you think it would be worth it if you reported him and things didn’t go well since at the end of the day you stood up for yourself and called him out

[u/Fine-Juggernaut8451]

I've never worked in this type of setting, so please keep in mind that my perspective comes from office work, which I don't think is as insular as your field.

Two things: 1. NOR, not even a little. 2. It's not always safe to report these things. I'm hoping your workplace is different than the kinds of places I've worked. You could perhaps suss it out with someone at work who you trust. Like, speaking about hypotheticals and not naming names.

I'd think that because of the kind of insurance required for your field, there might be better avenues for dealing with this. In an office job, HR is not at all on the employees' side and they'll eject troublemakers.

Please be safe.

In the meantime, I recommend you play dumb and act bored when he says these things. Act like you don't hear him. Say an absent "Hmmm?" and then have a change of topic ready to go. Like, "Hmmm? [pause] Oh, I wanted to ask you about this WORK-RELATED THING."

He may be trying to provoke a reaction out of you. Play dumb dumb dumb dumb. Pretend you don't notice he's hitting on you. Be distracted. If you don't have to speak to him, walk away.

[u/1_direwolf]

I'm going to echo - strongly - that you're NOR. If you feel safe reporting, then please do so!

If he's 50 yo and widely known, then I can guarantee he's done this before - MANY times... and gotten away with it MANY times. He had no right to make you uncomfortable in a professional and especially educational setting, but he feels entitled to do so.

This is deeply misogynistic and extremely disrespectful to all students and to the institutions he represents. However, he will NEVER stop doing this until he comes face to face with real consequences.

[u/DammatBeevis666]

NOR - but also, you could say “Hey, let’s keep it professional.” And if he continues making suggestive comments, THEN report him.

[u/Flat-Replacement4828]

NOR. This is so fucking creepy. 

[u/TararaBoomDA]

You could always ask one of his seniors if he's been displaying any worrisome signs of early-onset dementia lately. When they ask you why, you tell them, "Well, he made an inappropriate comment to me the other day, and I'm concerned for his mental health."

[u/ProfessionalYam3119 → u/TararaBoomDA]

You are a deep thinker! That's a great approach!

[u/eclipsemusic19]

Absolutely NOR. You could ask to be moved under the guise of a different reason perhaps? Something related to lack of alignment in work styles, personalities, career interest? There’s an opportunity to get away from him physically without publicly calling him out in fear or career issues.

Call me crazy, but you could state that you’re attracted to F and not M next time he says something weird? That may send him off for good. That feels like a band aid solution in some ways, but it could be a good temporary solution.

[u/Glum-Exam5460 → u/eclipsemusic19]

Why exactly are we not calling his completely unacceptable behavior out? He needs to be investigated ans his power taken away. I am sure there are a whole list of students he has done this to. I understand safety implications, but isn't it time we take out power back? The educational institution he works for will probably not protect him. Those days are long gone.

[u/Ok_Sector_981]

The fact that he doesn’t know this is inappropriate is really disconcerting. He should be reported not just for his gross violation, but because it also reflection of larger professional incompetence.

[u/ProfessionalYam3119 → u/Ok_Sector_981]

It's probably his 500th time.

[u/verbaldata → u/Ok_Sector_981]

He does know. That’s why he’s talking about “getting into trouble.” He’s 50! He knows, he just doesn’t care and wants to see what he can get away with.

[u/PositionStandard6089]

NOR

i just cannot stand how often this kind of thing happens to women just living their lives.

would he have taken a male student aside to tell them he's going to "get in trouble for the way he looks at him"? of course not.

[u/stunnedonlooker]

Im sorry that happened. What a creep and im sure he's done it before. Id say report him but i know you might suffer for it and he might not. I dont think you have much choice though, as these predators tend to escalate their behavior. Talk to an atty first.

[u/JHawk444]

You can respond in two ways. You could report him to your clinical supervisor right away or you could wait and see if he says something again, then address it with him, laying down a boundary that you want to keep things professional. If he crosses another line, then report at that point.

There are pros and cons for both options. Ultimately, you have to go with your gut and do what you think is in your best interest. If you decide to wait, make sure you keep a journal with the time/date/ and what was said so you can refer back to it later if it comes to that.

[u/W1ldth1ng]

NOR

Are you a member of a union?

Depending on which country you are in,

In Australia it would be the Health Services Union or something similar in different states.

They would be the best people to help you.

It needs to be reported. He said it when you were alone so there are no witnesses, it becomes your word against his. He is in a position of power and he knows it.

I am so furious for you. It is wrong that perverts like this get to be in power and they are careful to not do it where others can hear/see.

If you are allowed to have your phone on you I would have it set to easily record if he ever comes up to talk to you again. While it may not be used legally if you report with evidence the higher ups have a harder time ignoring it.

Getting moved to another setting is the least they can do for you.

[u/UnusualGas7555]

NOR: I would wait for him to do it again while recording just so you have evidence (I know it definitely will be hard to go through that again), then make him aware you will be officially reporting it

[u/PineappleCharacter15]

What do you mean "at a clinical??"

A fucking clinical what?At a trial? At school at a clinical teaching?? What?

The sounds as stupid as people saying someone has a great physical, which sounds absolutely ridiculous and makes no sense, instead of saying physique, which is the right answer.

[u/PastelPrincess_2 → u/PineappleCharacter15]

I very literally said i’m a student doing a clinical rotation at a hospital haha

[u/PineappleCharacter15]

What do you mean "at a clinical??"

A fucking clinical what? At a trial? At school? At a clinical teaching?? What?

The sounds as stupid as people saying someone has a great physical, which sounds absolutely ridiculous and makes no sense, instead of saying physique, which is the right answer.

[u/Glum-Exam5460]

This story gave me the ick. NOR for sure. Your proposed solution sounds like a must. I would not ever feel comfortable with him again.

[u/verbaldata]

NOR. This is textbook sexual harassment in the workplace. His remarks were highly inappropriate and he knows that (see: talking about “getting in trouble”). He doesn’t have to ask you out for it to count. In fact, just asking you out would be less creepy than what he actually said to you. Gross. The pressure you feel about consequences to your own career is what makes this so wrong. Report, if you’re willing. I guarantee he has and will do this to other women, too.

[u/ProfessionalYam3119]

YOR. First, you need to tell him that you want to keep the teacher-student relationship straight, and that you want to keep things proper. After that, if he keeps it up, then report him. You won't have any regrets because you will be able to see his reaction. Good luck!