Episode Name: Enter the Kill Zone
Hi everyone! I hope your weekend went well. I’m going to see the Backrooms movie tonight after N&A, so I’m excited for that. Not much else to say but:
Welcome to the Naked and Afraid: Global Showdown Running Diary! Let’s get to it!
–Welcome to “Global” Showdown aka The U.S. plus Brazil and Mexico.
–Day 5.
–Jeff and Kerra take a much needed break.
–They’re looking forward to “the hunt.” So am I.
–Will Dan’s back take him out? Chances of tapping are low at 12%.
–Time for Rachel to show her hunting/fishing skills. Will she choke under the pressure?
–Rachel handles animal poop like she’s kneading dough.
–Let’s check in with Ky and Alexa!
–Ky has good energy. She’s ready to kill!
–Frank and Teal are going to build another bridge? Did they not complete it last time? I don’t remember.
–I guess this is still part of last week’s challenge still? Not sure about the editing here.
–Matt and Gabby sit at the top of the leader board.
–Matt is eager to dominate everyone. Seems like a recurring theme with him. World domination.
–Let’s check in with our southern neighbors.
–Team Brazil is going to fish because they don’t have a bow.
–Rene throws his line in the water and almost immediately catches a fish. Thriving!
–Marina looks happy. I’m happy for her. Good job by them!
–Back to the U.S. Team Mexico can go fuck itself, apparently.
–Rachel checks her fishing lines. What did she catch? Is it a giant crock?!
–It was a fish and she lost it. Not thriving!
–Rachel has a momentary emotional breakdown.
–Dan tells the camera that he’s frustrated. He’s basically calling Rachel a weak partner. What’s his problem?
–Jeff and Kerra go after a warthog. Is that a good idea?
–Jeff takes aim, he shoots, and…commercial time.
–Time to make some ginseng tea.
–And we’re back.
–I think he hit the warthog. Let’s find out!
–That arrow has lots of blood on it. Looks like the hunt was a success!
–I did not know that warthogs could run up to 35 mph. That’s the Usain Bolt of animals.
–We get our first “This is what I live for!” from Jeff. It probably won’t be the last.
–Jeff really rubs it in Matt’s face. Well deserved. I love their rivalry.
–Matt thinks Jeff got lucky and doesn’t have skill. He’s so bitter.
–Looks like there might be a hyena problem. Jeff and Kerra must fortify their boma so that the animals don’t come for their food.
–Frank and Teal and Team Brazil complete their bridge, get the 100 points, and then get to choose a tool. I guess the challenge didn’t end last week but continued as long as necessary until all teams completed it.
–Jeff and Kerra have a meat party.
–Nighttime.
–The hyenas crash the party. Everyone wants some of Jeff’s meat.
–Day 6.
–Jeff and Kerra survived the night.
–Frank goes hunting.
–He chases after a wildebeest, but he doesn’t have a shot.
–Baby rhino alert!
–Time for Matt and Gabby to hunt.
–We check in on Team Mexico for the first time tonight. I forgot they even existed.
–I can’t even remember their names.
–They’re still building their bridge so that they can access The Hunting Grounds.
–And that’s all we get from Team Mexico. Back to the U.S. So much for the GlobalShowdown.
–Frank shoots a warthog. Looks like he got a kill. Good job by him!
–Teal says she doesn’t have high expectations for Frank’s hunt. She’ll be in for a surprise.
–Matt and Gabby are still on their first hunt. Chances of success, though, are high at 73%.
–Matt sneaks up on the warthog, fires, and it’s a hit! Holy shit the warthog runs right for him!
–We cut to commercial before learning whether or not the warthog gored Matt. Let’s hope so.
– “Thank you for your sacrifice,” Matt tells his prey.
–We’re back with Dan and his bitching about his partner. I’m waiting for the big blowup.
–Rachel decides it’s time to talk about team dynamics. How will Dan handle the criticism?
–Dan says “it broke his heart” that she feels the way she does. He brings a surprising sensitivity to her needs.
–Back to the other U.S. teams, who are all enjoying their own meat parties.
–Nighttime.
–Nothing happens but more meat talk.
–Day 7.
–Dan’s back is still bothering him. Chances of tapping are at 16%.
–A scroll has arrived. This gives us a chance to see teams Mexico and Brazil for .0001 seconds.
–Dan hangs from a tree with Rachel attached to his waist. I’m no genius, but I’m pretty sure that’s not going to help his back.
–The teams meet for a score update.
–Team Mexico and Brazil are still at the bottom. Chances one of them will be eliminated first is high at 87%.
–The next challenge is a bird trap challenge. Lots of instructions I won’t bother repeating.
–Teal is looking forward to digging through animal feces.
–Looks like we’ve got an elimination coming soon! Will it happen in this episode or will we end on a cliffhanger?
–Time for the contestants to find ten seeds by digging through rhino dung. Fun times!
–Team Australia is in the lead!
–How are teams Mexico and Brazil last in literally every challenge?
– “This knife is duller than Texas’s future,” Rachel quips. Was she talking about team Texas or the state of Texas?
–Teal gives us a math lesson. Is there going to be a test?
–Jeff and Kerra built their trap faster than every other team. Good job by them. But they still have another one to build, right? Not sure why Jeff is gloating about it.
–They’re going to drag out this bird trap challenge until the end of the episode.
–Matt and Gabby finish all of their traps first.
–A string comes untied. Back to the drawing board for those two. Fail!
– “He’s a bushcrafting southern motherfucker,” Jeff says of Frank. That was a good line.
–Team Brazil is moving along. Not sure how quickly though.
–Hey, it’s team Mexico! I wonder what they’re up to? Drinking lattes while soaking up the sun?
–The trap that Dan and Rachel built looks really good. I’d buy that thing from a store (if I was shopping for bird traps).
–Teal is missing a seed! Oh, no! Disaster!
–Matt and Gabby must redo their trap. It’s impossible to know who will win!
–Frank and Teal win! Even having to go back and get seeds didn’t stop them from succeeding.
–Dan and Rachel come in second. Good job by them!
–Team Australia has a major screwup. They just opened the door for the bottom teams.
–Jeff and Kerra’s trap looks awful but I’m not a trap expert so who knows. Maybe it’ll work.
–Nope. It did not work.
–In a shocking development, Team Brazil takes third! Great job by them.
–Matt and Gabby take fourth. I’m really worried about Jeff and Kerra. It’s not looking good.
–Team Australia take fifth!
–Texas and Mexico will fight to the death in an elimination challenge. Remember the Alamo!
–Texas finishes next but it only matters for points. They’ll still be up for elimination.
–And Team Mexico comes in last. Not a good job by them.
–Jeff’s bravado feels hollow. I don’t like their chances at all. But Team Mexico hasn’t shown much fight yet, so who knows.
–And that concludes the episode.
Not a bad episode, although the two hour time slot, again, is just too long. Way too many commercials and they spend too much time on the bird trap. But we know to expect this from N&A now. They stretch it out for the advertisements.
Episode Grade: B-
What did everyone else think?
See you next time on the Naked and Afraid: Global Showdown Running Diary!
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