And I cancelled our outing tomorrow. He cheated on me in the past so I expect him to be transparent with me. He says his conversations are personal, but honestly I wouldn’t care at all if he read all my text messages in my phone because I have nothing to hide. Now he’s saying I could look at them, but this was hours ago and I feel he could’ve just went and deleted whatever he didn’t want me to see.

for some context me and my boyfriend moved in together in a new flat in august. today when i was getting ready i noticed a black skirt behind/under my drawers. our wardrobes are built in and sometimes stuff gets stuck behind/under the bottom drawer. (i’ve attached a picture to help show) they’re a bit dusty and definitely not mine ):

i’m confused how they’re there because i’ve roughly checked behind my draw before and never found it, but i would just reach my hand behind the draw and grab what I could instead of looking properly like I did this time, so I’m worried if a different girl left it there whilst i was away. the thing is if my boyfriend did want to cheat i don’t know why he would do it here since it’s extremely obvious that this is a couples flat and would be hard to hide all of my girly stuff. but i also know that a man used to live here (strangely one of my boyfriends friends knew the past owner of this flat), but i think maybe a woman used to live here previously since we’ve gotten letters addressed to (what i think) is a woman’s name, but it’s a chinese name so im not 100% sure. i’m going to see if i can find a letter with her name on to check.

the only other suspicious thing i found was what im 90% sure were a different woman’s panties a few days after my mother in law stayed over. i showed my boyfriend and he said they were probably his mums since she bought stuff from primark and those pants were from primark but they were size XS and i don’t think that’s his mums size.. he said they’re probably from my friend who slept over for a few days but i haven’t asked her yet because im scared and embarrassed to ask if she left pants here because if they’re not hers then that’s really suspicious );

what should i do? i know if i ask him he’ll just say they must of been the past owners, but i don’t know. i feel extra anxious because i have roughly checked behind my drawers before and never found them which is strange ): although this time i did check more thoroughly );

EDIT: Thank you for your help and sorry for the spelling mistakes, I’m feeling a lot less anxious now and thinking that these are a super old skirt from a past tenants since they’re from topshop which closed in 2021
also they won’t fit my boyfriend so he’s not cross dressing lol

Sorry if this post is formatted horribly, I’ve never made a reddit post before and I’m doing this over the phone 😞

For context, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now at the end of this month. We met online as teens and started talking intently before a few breaks in between due to fights or strain etc etc but we always ended up drawn back to each other even though we were in two different cities and had nearly two hours between us. As I’m writing this I realize now that I did a lot of heavy lifting for our early relationship given the situation he was in but I genuinely thought this would flourish into a long standing love, I was especially inexperienced since I’d never been with any men but him and he seemed to genuinely love me. I used to get uber s to and from his place and get him rides to my place and back because he wasn’t really working due to his home life situation and after a while he moved in to stay with me and my mom because he got kicked out of his place. Since then we’ve been living together and we’ve had quite a few ups and downs; A lot of online cheating from his side and hysterics from mine. I hated him for talking to girls online in flirtatious ways but I felt I couldn’t completely disregard my bad behavior and how absent I had been with him at times. The cheating never progressed past texts but it always made me feel horrible and insecure even though he’d try to reassure me that it was only the attention aspect that made him do it. At this point it feels like one of these has happened every year since we started and on top of that he’s still in pretty close contact with an ex he’s been “friends” with online since they were like 15, so his first love. His phone stopped working around a month ago so he’s been using mine and logged into all of his accounts there, when he finally got a new one he logged out of his snap but not his instagram (the only place they really talk that I know of) and yesterday while receiving a call I get a notification with the words “It’s inappropriate but I like you” on it. From his ex. Obviously snooping is never a good idea but i’ve been given permission to go through his phones before and the message genuinely just struck me across the face before I realized I was opening it, everything you read is the conversation they were having. I feel partially bad exposing her vent but at the same time I don’t think she feels as bad about telling my boyfriend she likes him :/ so I can’t really have too much empathy for her here.

I think i’m going to confront him today but I wanna be sure i’m not just jumping to conclusions again because i’ve been known to do that.

TLDR; Bf is still acting all normal and being abnormally sweet with me meanwhile these texts are being received from his ex, Am i cooked?

Edit: we’re both dads (gay).

I came home from work and my husband had people in our backyard discussing and measuring where a pool would go. He didn’t tell me anyone was coming or that this would be happening. I was confused and angry but he said if it were to happen it would take months anyway if it was possible and that they were only here to assess if it was possible.

I’m frustrated and angry because he hasn’t spoken to me about this at all and didn’t think he had to because they were only assessing if it was possible. Well explain that to two kids under 10 who think this is going happen, our 3 year old has been asking non stop.

Our state is cold af more than half the year so I don’t understand how this could work. On top of that my husband works so much and for the past week he’s been coming home at 9pm when both our kids are asleep anyway. He wouldn’t be the one dealing with supervising the kids and making sure they don’t drown because he isn’t even home anyway.

We got into an argument because he could take our kids with him when he goes swimming, there’s a great place less than 10 minutes away from us but that would actually involve parenting and supervising them.

But apparently I’m now the villain because the kids know now.

Friend is getting married. A friend I’ve known for a very long time, but haven’t seen in over half a decade. I’m in the bridal party. I just found out I need surgery in the next month or two. The bach is in August. I explained to the bride that I was stressed about it because I just started new jobs last month, and just found out I need corrective surgery asap. I’m also the only person in the wedding traveling from a long ways away to be there, so it’s costing me so much money to even attend. I’ve expressed financial concern too. Her fiancé offered to pay for my ticket and the bachelorette stay. He asked me to not tell anyone, including my friend soon to be his wife. I told him it’s not just about the money, but I literally cannot make it anymore.

I told her sister, the maid-of-honor, today. Her response was:

“Hi X, I’m sorry to hear about your surgery.

Just to be clear, we all agreed on the price and the dates for the bachelorette ahead of time, and everyone committed based on those arrangements. I can ask the group if anyone is willing to contribute more to help cover your portion, but realistically I don’t think that’s likely since the costs were agreed upon in advance.

I completely understand that plans can change, but if there was uncertainty about your availability, it would have been helpful to mention that from the beginning so we could have planned accordingly. At this point, it’s difficult to adjust the costs for everyone else after everything has already been booked and agreed to.

Because the expenses were planned and split based on everyone’s commitment, we’re still expecting each person to cover the portion they originally agreed to. I hope you can understand that it wouldn’t be fair to pass those costs on to the rest of the group after the arrangements have already been made.”

To which I explained that I literally had no idea I’d need surgery. And she doubled down saying I need to pay her asap.

Am I overreacting? I’m so angry, but I also get where she’s coming from. This is going to cost me upwards at least $800-900. When I can’t even attend because I will be HEALING. I don’t even want to go to the wedding anymore. I feel like it’ll just be uncomfortable.

My now ex-boyfriend and I were together for eight months, and he’s acting like I completely overreacted for ending things, but I honestly feel like I ignored red flags for way too long.

One of the first things that bothered me happened literally after our first date. He started making “I’m gonna break up with you” jokes. I told him pretty early on that those jokes made me uncomfortable and anxious, but he kept doing it throughout the relationship anyway. Sometimes during arguments, sometimes randomly, sometimes over tiny things.

He also constantly called me stupid. If I misunderstood something, forgot something small, or got emotional during a conversation, he’d call me “stupid” or “slow.” Then if I got upset, suddenly I “couldn’t take a joke.”

Another thing that really hurt was him telling me I “wasn’t sit-down dinner material.” I genuinely still don’t know what that was even supposed to mean, but it felt insulting and degrading.

He also made jokes about cheating on me, saying stuff like he could cheat and I “wouldn’t even break up with him.” Which honestly felt so arrogant and disrespectful. Like why are you joking about betraying me in the first place?

Then there was the fact that he tried hiding message conversations with a girl he used to like. I wasn’t even snooping through his phone or anything — he just started acting weird and secretive about it, which obviously made me uncomfortable. When I brought it up, he acted like I was crazy for being bothered.

Over time I started feeling anxious all the time around him. I felt like I had to watch what I said so I wouldn’t get insulted or mocked, and every time I tried communicating my feelings, I somehow became the problem.

When I finally told him that I thought it would be best if we broke up, his response was basically, “Well, what a waste of eight months then,” and then he hung up on me.

AIO?

I need some outside perspective because I genuinely don’t know whether I was completely wrong here or whether there is more context that matters.

My fiancé and I have been together for several years and have a toddler together. He proposed about 4 weeks ago.

For some background, the last year has been very stressful. He works a physically demanding factory job involving heavy lifting, often in very hot conditions. He has had health issues in the past, including heart-related concerns, struggles with extreme fatigue, and has previously told me about falling asleep at the wheel and even falling asleep while eating. He also has significant debt problems which have been causing him a lot of stress. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and takes medication, which has helped in some areas. He also suspects he may be autistic, although he has not had a formal assessment or diagnosis for autism.

Throughout our relationship, one issue that has repeatedly hurt me is that during major arguments he has sometimes talked about leaving the relationship or being better off alone. We also had a serious incident in the past that involved police being called after an argument. We stayed together and tried to move forward, but it left a mark on the relationship.

I am not perfect either. I tend to bottle things up until I reach breaking point instead of addressing them early.

Over the last few months I have been feeling increasingly overwhelmed. I work, look after our toddler, manage a lot of the planning and emotional side of family life, and have been trying to support him through his debt, health concerns and stress. I reached a point where I felt emotionally exhausted.

A few days ago I finally tried to have a conversation with him about how I was feeling. I wasn’t saying he was a bad person or a bad father. I was trying to explain that I was struggling and felt like I needed more emotional support.

During that conversation I also shared a very dark thought I had recently had because of how overwhelmed I felt. It was something I had never told him before and it took a lot for me to be that vulnerable.

The conversation did not go how I hoped. He became defensive and at one point said he was better off alone.

This hit me incredibly hard because one of my deepest fears in the relationship has always been him talking about leaving during difficult conversations. When he proposed, I genuinely thought we had reached a place where I could raise concerns without feeling like the relationship was at risk.

I was devastated. I cried for a long time.

Eventually I took off my engagement ring and handed it back to him.

At the time, in my mind, I wasn’t saying “I don’t love you” or “I don’t want to marry you.” I felt heartbroken and honestly thought his words meant he was ending things anyway.

However, he sees it completely differently. From his perspective, handing back the ring was me rejecting him, humiliating him and effectively ending the engagement.

Since then things have escalated badly. He has said the relationship ended the moment I handed back the ring. He has said I will never get the ring back, that even if we stay together he would never marry me, and that he plans to move out.

We have both said hurtful things during arguments since then. I’m not pretending I handled everything perfectly.

So my question is:

Was handing back the ring after only 4 weeks of being engaged an unforgivable act?

If your partner told you they were better off alone immediately after you had opened up about struggling and shared something deeply vulnerable, how would you interpret that?

I’m genuinely looking for honest opinions, even if you think I was completely in the wrong.

Reupload because I did a terrible job editing out all the names 😬

Me(36f) and my wife(46f) have been together since I was 18 and she was 28. It was long distance. When I met her in person, I didn't feel much spark, but figured a strong friendship is more important than feelings of romance or attraction. We broke up once during long distance, but fell back into dating.

I moved across the country to live with her at 18. Married at 20 at her dying father's wish. I got pregnant at 23 (she's trans) and we moved back to be closer to my family. (We were living in a state with no family, not hers either)

She's a chef, I'm an illustrator. Shortly after our kid was born, I told her that I could support us both now if she wanted to be a stay at home parent. We did that for a few years, though I did end up being the primary parent anyway, doing almost all of the stuff for our toddler. She did all the cooking, we both did cleaning

Finances got rough, so she went back to work for a couple years, until things got better, and I told her it was ok to quit again. We struggled in the expensive state where we lived and moved to a cheaper one where I had other family.

Ultimately, I ended up having to work 8-ish hours a day with no days off to make ends meet. I was still the primary parent, so after working and spending time with my son everyday, I had very little free time. While my wife spent 1 to 3 hours on chores and driving us places each day. After doing this for 5 years I told my wife I was struggling and I needed her to please start working again.

She was reluctant, understandably scared about entering the work force again. But I was disappointed that she looked for a job for a couple weeks, then gave up. I didn't want her to feel nagged, though, so I dropped it.

A bit later, I broke off our relationship.

Resentment probably had something to do with it. But what I told her is that I never felt that spark, she's my best friend and I'm happy to have shared my life with her, but I want to be single for the first time in my adult life. It's a dick thing to do. She wanted to know why I just kept going if I didn't feel romance and attraction, but I think at 18 I didn't know if romance was a Thing I could Feel or if friendship was just the same thing. I was having feelings now for someone I knew, a creative partner I met online, and realizing that friendship and romance are different. And I selfishly wanted to pursue that.

Anyways, we decided to stay roommates and co-parent together. I kept struggling, we both started dating other people. Over a year later, I ask her again to look for work. She started putting in applications, but complained about it often, saying that she won't have time or energy to pursue her passions once she's working.

Which hurt because it felt like her saying that working DOES kinda suck, and that she knew my life was worse for having to do so much of it, but that she valued her own comfort and freedom over mine

Our plan was, once she gets a job, to stay roommates. And she would take over her car payment, insurance, and her credit card bills. While I continue paying household costs, rent, food, utilities, everything for our son, and my own stuff.

Unexpectedly, she started making plans to move in with one of her long distance gfs, and told me how much she would like in alimony for the next 8 years

I was shocked, because we'd been planning for me to keep paying the majority of our costs instead of alimony. Sharing one a household would be cheaper for both of us. When telling me about the new alimony plan, she didn't even express concern for how much more I would have to work to support the household myself and also pay alimony

I said we should consult a lawyer on amount and she was offended I didn't trust her.

We argued for ages, with me saying how hurt I'd felt when I asked her to find work before and she didn't try even tho I was still struggling, and her saying that we supported each other equally, and I'm like...ok but can you honestly say that, looking at your daily schedule and mine, and say that it's equitable?

She said my new gf has corrupted me into a greedy person and all I care about now is money. She says that I stole her youth and home and career, and wasted her life. That she's gained confidence now, and I can't bully her into feeling the way I want her to feel. She called me her abuser. She says I have power over her because I'm the one earning money, so she feels unsafe, like I might kick her out of the house. I've never given her any reason to think I would do that.. I've paid my brother's rent for years because I think everyone deserves a home, and bought him video games and stuff because everyone deserves fun shit too. I only say this because my wife knows this stuff, she should know that's my values and how I behave. She calls me her emotional abuser even though I've always been careful and kind in the way I speak to her.

She tells people I attacked her over alimony (the screenshots) and that she's done being bullied by me.

I'm honestly devastated. I'm drinking more lately, and when I'm not drinking, i can't stop thinking about this. She wants to go back to normal and being best friends, and I try, but all I can think about is these horrible things she thinks about me. I haven't been perfect, and I know those years we were married she could have been building a life with someone else. So maybe that was selfish of me. But we had a kid, and she had 7+ years with lots of free time to pursue her hobbies. I never regretted our life, but now I'm wondering if she's right.

AIO?

Growing up my grandma made the BEST zucchini bread. To this day zucchini bread reminds me of summer sleepovers and her hugs. She passed away a few years ago and I miss her terribly. Only over the last few months has my aunt has been attempting to recreate her recipes because they were so delicious and special.

We visited my hometown last week and my aunt gave me a loaf of zucchini to take home with us Sunday evening. My husband and I had a slice in the car and I told him about how nostalgic it made me feel and how special it was to me. He enjoyed hearing stories about my grandma and her cooking.

I’ve had a few slices since then, wanting to savor it as long as possible. There was about half of the loaf left when I went to sleep last night, but this morning when I went to have some for breakfast I discovered that my partner helped himself to it and left it uncovered. It’s now hard and stale and I’m pissed!

When my partner woke up , I showed him the bread and said it was extremely disrespectful to let my food go bad. He got defensive and said since he buys most of the food for the household (not even true) it’s not a big deal. He also said that there was far too many nuts in the bread so it wasn’t even good and he didn’t understand why I was making such a big deal about it. I told him that in general he is far too wasteful of food, leaving leftovers out overnight not covering baked desserts etc and we’ve talked about that but for him to let something so familial go to waste is heartbreaking.

He started slamming cabinets and shouting that I was being ridiculous over bread and left for work while I’m trying to salvage what I can of my aunt’s gift. To me it’s not just about the bread but AIO?

I (M23) have been going out with my girlfriend (F21) for seven months or so. Before we met, she'd planned to go travelling around Europe for three months from May to August with three friends from university (two guys and a girl). A long break like this isn't ideal so early on, but I was never going to prevent her plans.

She's been gone for about two weeks and seems to be having a great time. We have been FaceTiming roughly every three days and messaging in-between that.

However, when we spoke yesterday and were catching up on what she'd been doing, she told me that the previous night, they all went skippy dipping. I was kind of caught off guard and asked for a few more details. In effect, they were all at a secluded beach, had a few drinks and as they didn't have any swimwear, went skinny dipping for a bit, splashed around and then went back.

I told her it made me uncomfortable and that she shouldn't be casually naked around other guys when in a relationship. She responded that I was being ridiculous and that it wasn't sexual; they were simply having fun and it was the "freedom of travelling". She called me a jerk for thinking that being naked "has to be a sexual act" and that there was no touching or anything of the sort involved.

I doubled down and said it wasn't appropriate and would rather she didn't going forward. She called me a controlling jerk and we haven't spoken since then.

In my eyes, she's an attractive girl surrounded by two single guys (and one who she had a short fling with a few years ago) and they would have obviously been checking her out. I don't expect her to cover up and don't care that she wears skimpy bikinis around them but I also feel it's reasonable to feel she's overstepped a boundary.

AIO and should apologize?

​My girlfriend (24F) and I (23M) have been together for about 6 months. Lately, we’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch and having some recurring arguments. A few nights ago, after a particularly frustrating fight, I texted my mom to vent. My mom is my rock, and I just needed to talk to someone I trust to get some perspective and clear my head. I didn't say anything cruel, but I was brutally honest about how frustrated I was feeling.

​Fast forward to last night. I fell asleep on the couch, leaving my phone on the coffee table. I woke up around midnight to my girlfriend upset.

​It turns out she took my phone while I was dead asleep and went straight to my texts. She read the entire conversation between me and my mom.

She then proceeded to not understand why what she did was wrong. I just feel like she went behind my back and betrayed my trust by reading texts not meant for her. On top of that, I deliberately didnt tell her the names of my exes because thats none of her business. She found out all of their names last night and got upset by it.

Am I overreacting?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We have great chemistry and we are best friends. Unfortunately, we have also had a lot of issues and fighting. He made a few poor choices throughout our relationship with a female coworker (nothing physical, just emotional validation and closeness and lying) and I gave him chances and asked him to make changes and respect my boundaries. He didn’t put in the work and he didn’t change or respect my boundaries after he broke my trust.

We have been fighting about this same situation for over a year now because it’s never actually been resolved. A few days ago, I saw him after almost a week, and his energy was off. He wasn’t being affectionate or anything, and it really hurt my feelings so I expressed my needs. He blew up and it turned into him panicking and spiraling and wanting to break up then stay together and ultimately asking for a break.

He wants a no contact break and he wouldn’t tell me for how long. He said he carries a lot of guilt and pain and resentment over his mistakes and actions. He said he wants space so he can reflect and start to work on himself to love me better.

I have been devastated and lost and blind sided by this. Is this repairable?? I am in shock and agony because I am in a horrible state of limbo. I know I want to repair this but he might not want to. I am afraid he will just leave or ghost me. Am I overreacting?? I’m losing it.

TLDR; boyfriend blindsided me with a no contact break after fighting too much

I boarded my cat with a rover sitter for twelve days for a trip, it cost me ~$700 but I know he does badly entirely on his own so opted to go for it. I left him there with this litter robot and brought a trash bag that fits the tray and asked if she could change the tray in a week, she said sure and mentioned she has the same trash bags. I get there after twelve days and as I’m carrying the robot out she offhandedly mentions “oh I didn’t change the tray yet,“ I had just had a full day of travel and was just like oh ok, no worries, and left. Two days later she messages me asking if I can leave her a review, and I keep getting stuck on the tray :/ my little guy is so low maintenance, she said so herself, and considering she didn’t have to scoop a single time and then seeing the state/smell of the tray when I came back I found disappointing when it was not cheap and was kind of the only maintenance he needed. I’m grateful he was cared for and healthy but am I overreacting to be irked when someone says they’ll do something and then doesn’t even do it on day 12 for the appearance of following through? The robot was definitely a day max from stopping cycling with how full it was and I know my cat hates when it stinks too so I’m kind of disappointed

Hello Reddit, I (33M) currently live with my partner (30M). we’ve been together about 2 years and he owns the house. It’s a modest 2 bedroom house and suits us just fine. When I first moved in, his ex was still was still living with him and occupied one of the two bedrooms (my bf has the master which takes the entire upstairs floor). The ex wasn’t supposed to still be there when I moved in but for reasons that are too long to tell in this story, he ended up being there for an additional year after I moved in. Which meant for a year I didn’t have my own bedroom, just a small 80sqft space I set up as my office. My bf and I are both people that prefer having their own rooms to sharing one. Not having my own bed or place for my clothes, and having that space be occupied by his ex instead, really did a number on my confidence.

I also unfortunately have trauma from my mother and one of the things I struggle with is feeling like I’m allowed to take space and that I’m not a burden. This combined with the ex thing made it really hard for me to finally accept my new room when he did move out, but I was also super excited cause I trusted my boyfriend. I’ve had my own bed and room for about 5 months now.

Earlier today, his folks swung by unexpectedly. I was in the yard doing some work so after welcoming them, I made them some smoothies, hung out, and eventually excused myself to continue the yard work. His mom jokingly quipped “You’re going to have to start paying him a wage with all this work he’s doing!” I chuckled a bit until my boyfriend cut in “I do give him a wage, it’s all the extra personal space he gets!”. His parents lightly chuckled in response but I was just left a little stunned. My office and bedroom ARE 2 separate rooms, and while I’m totally content with the sizes and have made them work, they’re pretty small rooms. His ‘joke’ about me working for my rooms just dredged up all my insecurities and when I told him this, he threw his arms up in exhasperation and said “what’s the point in reassuring you if one little comment I made by mistake ruins all of it?”, which again just made me feel like a burden.
He knows my parents abused me, he knows that accepting taking space is something I struggle with. He‘s apologized and said he was just uncomfortable with his mom’s quip but through no fault of my own I found my insecurity being the butt of a joke to his parents. It’s also not true, I measured the rooms and he actually has more square footage than I do. I just prefer a clean spacious look and he prefers a cozy busy look so his room appears smaller, it just has more stuff in it. I do also pay rent. One of my close friends said this was a nothing burger and that I’m overreacting. I think I’m right to be pretty mad but I turn to Reddit to set me straight if I’m not. AIO?

I (15f) have two siblings, 17m and 11f. as much as parents say they don't have favorites, it's obvious mine do. My mom favors younger sister and dad favors older brother. Both my parents used to blow off things I wanted to do and just promise they will make it up to me but never. My older brother is like in sports and i feel like my dad is living through him. Then my younger sister is just babied by everyone because she was born premature but like shes fine now so i still dont get the fuss. So I just do things on my own and it's whatever. Sometimes, it's like I need to get seriously hurt or do something bad for them to notice me.

Anyway, my parents are getting divorced and my siblings were like saying who they would rather stay with. I was with my dad and older brother, my dad is teaching my brother to drive, and then my brother said that if my dad does move out, then he'll go with him. My dad smiled really wide then when I said I'd live with him too, bro just stopped smiling and said it'd be better if I lived with my mom. later, i told my mom I'd live with her if we had to pick who to stay with and then she looked at me for like a minute before saying she's cool with just staying with my younger sister.

So I got upset and walked out the house. I went to a friend's house and turned my location off so they couldn't come get me. Only started getting texts about where I am around like 9pm. I swear my parents forget I exist sometimes.

Parents came to get me around 11pm, when they asked why I left. I explained that I feel like a forgotten child, that no one wants to take me in. Then they started saying they were joking and then they said I overreact and I'm not their only child so I need to stop being this selfish for their attention.

Mind you, I got my septum pierced in February. My dad only noticed in April. I'm literally on the cross country and swim team because they're busy with my older brother and younger sister.

Anyway, am I overreacting?

I'm already aware that I have an anxious attachment style with a fluctuation of avoidance in and out, so I don't know if it's me but I can't shake this feeling of fear bordering on paranoia.

My boyfriend, has had hygiene issues that have bothered me as well as generally not seeming to care about his appearance. I never minded outside of the hygiene but now, he's dressing nicer and bought a privacy screen for his phone, showers regularly and is wearing cologne when he goes to work. He told me the privacy screen was because of porn but we've been together 2 years now and it just seems weird to me accompanied with everything else. He said him taking better care of himself is just because he's happier

We had a talk and he said all the right things. It settled me down a little bit but I still felt a lingering fear in the background, then today he told me he bought product for his hair and it sent me into a spiral again because.... it just seems very sudden for him to be this invested in his appearance. If the privacy screen didn't happen at the same time, Idk if I would be freaking out like this.

Edit: For context. I've made it known that I'm fine with him watching porn since the beginning of our relationship. As for kinks, I've been open about my past porn addiction and "out there" kinks from the beginning as well, so unless he's watching porn at his new job, idk why things would be suddenly needing to be kept secret from me. I also don't pay attention to his phone or what he does on it because I thought everything was fine. I'm only concerned about it now because all of a sudden 2 years in, you need a privacy screen for porn we've already established I'm okay with? That, accompanied with the sudden change in hygiene is the issue. It's a package deal. The hygiene changes on its own before the privacy screen, I assumed was just due to him having a new job that he likes and is happy about.

I have been dating my boyfriend for a while now.
He is deaf, and honestly we’ve always had amazing communication and a great relationship.

Recently he got a huge promotion at work that he’s been stressing about for months. I was so proud of him and wanted to celebrate BIG.
I saved up and booked a reservation at a fancy restaurant in our city. It’s known for having incredible food but also it’s quite dimly lit

When we got there and were seated I could tell he was getting tense cause of the very dim lighting, he was struggling to read my lips clearly and couldn't see my facial expressions well, which made it hard for us to carry on our usual conversation.

I noticed this so I pulled out my phone and started typing out messages in a notepad app to communicate with him so he wouldn’t feel left out.

He got deeply offended. He typed back that the atmosphere was making him feel incredibly isolated and anxious and that I should have known better than to pick a dark restaurant where he can't communicate properly.
He said I cared more about the aesthetic of a fancy place than his comfort.

I whispered that I literally spent weeks trying to get this reservation just to surprise him, and that using the phone was a perfectly fine temporary solution for one night.

He just shook his head, stood up, and walked out of the restaurant. I had to pay for the drinks we ordered, cancel the dinner, and leave by myself.

I feel like walking out on me and wasting that effort was a huge overreaction.

AIO for being angry and deeply hurt by his behavior? Or was I actually in the wrong here?

EDIT: Just to clear a few things up since the comments are getting wild. Yes, I know dimly lit places make communication hard I just didn't think this specific restaurant would be that dark inside based on the pics i saw. Also my bad for using the word "whispered” we use a mix of sign and lip reading and I meant I was trying to sign/talk quietly so the whole room wouldn't stare at us, not that I expected him to magically hear a whisper.

we live together so we already talked about it at home and it's fine now. I wasn't trying to force him to stay or look at the menu to eat there I just wanted to see if we could transfer the reservation deposit to another night or just grab a quick drink before heading out since I saved up my own money to pay for this whole night.

He did tell me he wanted to leave, but he just walked out before we could even figure out anything. I’m not trying to be the victim here it was just a frustrating misunderstanding.

So I live right by a 7/11, and I tend to go there quite often for late-night snacks or something to drink. I'm already somewhat of a germaphobe, but I can't be the only one to have an issue with this. The touchscreen panel where you have to press "skip" or your number is always SO slimy that sometimes I don't even put my number down for points. Today, it wasn't only slimy, but the cashier came up to ring up my items with a napkin that he had just wiped his nose with, and I could hear he had the sniffles. He then grabbed my items with the same hand that was holding the crumpled-up napkin, and every item came into contact with the napkin. I can't believe it. I don't know if this is the right place for this rant, but I still haven't gotten over it. I should have said something to the guy, but I hate confrontation. I just got home and cleaned everything with soap and water.

My brothers girlfriend just gave birth to my nephew, and our whole family is of course very excited to meet the little guy!
I made plans with my SIL to stop by last Saturday and see him, but later I got a text from my brother about how they have made a ‘rule’ about no Muslims in their home to “shield their new child from those types of people”, and that my boyfriend therefore wouldn’t be welcome.
He specifically said “no one with associations to the muslim community”, so I assumed I wouldn’t be welcome either, as my boyfriend is Muslim.

He did say that he personally don’t have anything against my bf and that he can see my nephew at family gatherings but not in their home. So I decided not to go.
My bf and I stopped by their house to lay the gifts we bought them at the front door.

Afterwards I got messages about why I didn’t come in and say hello and so on. Now most of my family agree that it’s a messed up rule, but think I should still make the effort to see my nephew and that I’m taking it out on him..
I do want to see him, but I saw how guilty and ashamed my bf felt when he heard about it.. I just feel it would be so disrespectful to him if I went.. like I’m okay with people discriminating him in that way.
So AIO?

I’m looking for some honest perspectives.

I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ll likely be divorced by the time I’m 31. I come from a cultural background and immigrated to US when I was 22 for my higher educational and then got my citizenship here , in ethnic backgrounds where divorce is often seen as a big deal, and even though I live in the U.S. now, I think some of those beliefs are still stuck in my head. (Years of ppl telling women that marriage and kids are the end goal). I’m Indian and married a white man and ofc relatives are like “if she would have chose someone ethnically maybe he wouldn’t have walked out’ (my ex cheated on me)

For those who are dating in their 30s: is being divorced actually viewed as a red flag? Do you feel like it significantly limits your dating options, or is it just much more common and accepted than I think?

Part of me worries that people will see me as having “baggage” or assume something is wrong with me because my marriage didn’t work out. Another part of me wonders if I’m just carrying around cultural shame that doesn’t reflect how most people actually think.

I’d love to hear from single people who have dated someone who was divorced. Has it mattered to you?

Alright, for some context before I start:
We have a 6 month old baby going through some sort of sleep regression and screaming her head off in the night. Posting this on a Wednesday night.

Here we go. I, 22F, asked my husband, 21M, to take the night shift with our baby tonight. I already know I will be taking care of her this weekend all night by myself and all day Friday and Sunday so I want to get tonight to sleep. We both have designated night shifts because of our work schedule. If I work the next day, he is at home and takes care of her in the night so I sleep. Same goes for the other way around. Thursday's we both currently work. Normally, I am off that day BUT I am working them because my coworker is out on medical leave at the moment and I need to cover for her on that day. I work at a bank and there are only 6 of us, so you can imagine how it may be with only 4 people working that entire day. So I had been taking night shift for Wednesday nights because he works 10 hours outside all day while I'm max 7 hours inside not moving from my desk. Now, I am home the entire weekend plus Monday's so I already work that night shift with the baby. I know I'll still be taking care of her all nights this weekend plus the entire day we drive (8 hour drive) while he gets to relax. I know driving is not all that relaxing but I'd personally rather be driving than dealing with a car angry baby. Plus he will get to enjoy himself when not driving and get to sleep like normal. I was hoping for just one extra night since I will be basically single momming our entire weekend away. And no, we do not trust my parents enough for them to help in the night. My mother has an extremely short temper and is bipolar with early-onset Alzheimer's, we cannot leave her alone with my daughter! And my dad wouldn't dare get out of bed for anything. If the house was burning down and he was in bed, he'd go down with the house.

If anyone has questions or wants clarification for anything, I'll try to answer!

So, am I overreacting?

I used to pay my boyfriend 160 a month for gas bc he picks me up often to/from work and home(I dont have a car). Earlier today he asked me to go out to eat bc hes craving something okay cool we're going out. I later tell him this month I'm not going to rely on him and find other ways like uber.
Then he calls me back later, in summary he doesn't want to give me rides anymore at all because i'm not paying him.
I get upset like aren't YOU taking me out on a date. He's super adamant on it though
Am I reasonably upset or just over reacting?

edit: I didn't expect this to get a lot of traction 🌞, I should clarify I only paid him 160 last month for may. I didn't really pay gas before and if I did it would be every other month or so 140; he didn't want money for gas back then so he never pushed it until it got more expensive. we usually split the bill when we go out.

I’ve never gotten along with my mother’s side of the family. As kids I was very temperamental and got angry VERY easily. So I’ll take accountability for that, I’ve apologized to them many times for insulting and making fun of them when we were kids. I was just a massive jerk.

But now that I’ve gone through therapy I realize how much I really hate them, for one they make a game where they intentionally try to provoke me by making fun of me or my interests (I’m autistic, I’ve never told them and I’m not sure if they know). What they do is feign interest in one of my special interests and then pick it apart as I explain it to them, it’s gotten to the point where they’ll ask to watch one of my favorite movies with me and just complain about it the whole time while we watch it.

They also constantly make fun of me, my hair, the color of my skin, my lips, all that. They say it’s just jokes but I’m not allowed to talk to them that way without being dogpiled

Everytime I mention how I feel like they’re just really rude and mean spirited I get called a baby. I’ve overheard them essentially saying I have thin skin behind closed doors. My mother LOVES them and is upset that I’m low contact with them. The only reason I’m not no contact is because I live with my mother and she invites them over semi-often. Am I crazy?

Edit: The reason I say I’m not sure if they know I have autism is because I was only diagnosed a couple years ago and my mother and siblings are the only ones who know. But I’ve always been weird and my mother used to tell my cousins I was mentally disabled so they wouldn’t feel bad feel bad about making me upset as a kid and I’m not sure if they took that seriously.

Back in presale, I spent about $300 on tickets for a concert on July 10 in Phoenix, about 4 hours from where we live. We've had these plans for months.

Today, my boyfriend asked what date the concert was again. After I reminded him, he told me that he had made plans with his friends to drive to San Diego on July 11 and stay in an Airbnb for his friend's girlfriend's birthday (assuming because he's not even sure himself on what the occasion is for).

His proposed solutions were either:

1. Leave for Phoenix early, attend the concert, then immediately drive 4 hours back home after it ends so we'd get home around 3 AM.

or

1. Stay overnight, spend money on a hotel, leave around 6 AM, and rush back home so he could leave for San Diego by 10 AM.

The problem is that I've already done a concert trip with him where we were on a tight schedule the next day, and it was extremely stressful the entire time. I don't want to spend months looking forward to this concert only to spend the whole trip worrying about getting back in time for plans that don't even involve me.

I tried to gently point out that since the concert was planned months ago, maybe he'd have to decline the San Diego trip. Instead, he doubled down and made it clear that San Diego was still happening.

At this point, I got frustrated and put my concert ticket up for sale. I told him that if he truly planned on still going to San Diego, I would rather not go to the concert at all than deal with a rushed, stressful trip. I wasn’t willing to spend hundreds of dollars for it to end that way. He didn’t really understand why I would cancel, since in his view his trip didn’t interfere with ours and it was just a matter of timing.

We went back and forth about it several times, and I made it very clear that I wasn’t comfortable turning the concert into a rushed trip. Despite that, he still insisted that both plans could work and didn’t budge on canceling San Diego.

Now that I’ve canceled, he’s suddenly saying he’ll skip San Diego and spend the weekend with me instead. But honestly, my feelings are hurt because it feels like his first instinct was to prioritize a newer plan with his friends over plans we had already committed to months ago. The fact that he’s willing to cancel now almost makes it worse, because it feels like he only changed his mind after I decided not to go.

AIO for canceling the concert and putting my ticket up for sale after how he handled this situation?

i got my nails done on friday because i wanted to get something strong on them to grow them out. i do my own gel nails, and they never break, chip, or fall off.

as seen in the messages, i went to get sns because i don’t have the supplies for it. i paid $73 with a $27 tip.

the gel chipped and yesterday i went in to get that fixed. they did it for free.

today, two nails fell off entirely.

i called them, my boyfriend called them (he paid for them), and my mom called them (long term client)

every time, we requested a refund, they kept pushing for me to come in and get them redone.

i saw that in google reviews, people requested refunds and the owner responded telling them to text the number for a refund. so i texted the number.

they are still refusing a refund. am i asking for too much or am i right that it’s unusual for nails to fall off and chip within the first five days??