Does anyone have any advice on how we can save money? We make 100k a year, but it feels like we're struggling to make ends meet while saving to purchase a house. Additionally, we need to kickstart a college fund for our child and plan to have another child in a couple of years.
5k take home does not sound right. Assuming youāre married and have one child living in Maine, you should take home $6800/mo after taxes. With two children, itās about $7000/mo. And with more kids youād take home a bit more.
Are you saving a lot towards retirement or do you have expensive medical insurance being withheld?
I know you donāt live in a massive home or anything, but $2450 on a mortgage is kind of high on your income. Could you have bought further away from down or chosen a 2bd townhome to keep costs down?
Being a stay at home mom is an awesome choice, but it doesnāt mean that math doesnāt apply. You have to make choices that make it sustainable in the long term!
5% towards retirement and yes, health insurance is taken out beforehand like most people. Idk what to tell ya, but that's what it works out to be. š¤·āāļø
The problem with house pricing is my husband works on a shipyard. Shipyards are on the coast and coast=very expensive. So we live pretty far away and honestly it's the farthest away we want to consider for his commute, but those prices are still high. It's just a hcol area unfortunately.
Thats good. Where we are, they try to cram thousands of people onto the same tiny island all at the same time, sometimes through only one gate. Same thing trying to get off. He has sat there for an hour in traffic just trying to get off base at the end of the day.
It's really tricky to trim down my weekly grocery expenses to $125. I've been making an effort to cut back on food costs, but it feels like such a challenge!
Yeah $125 is pretty low for a family of 3-4. Iād say $250-$400 if youāre eating well, but the $250 takeout is too much monthly on top of groceries. Whatās misc expenses? Thatās a big number for randoms. Anything you could cut out there? get an at home gel nail kit and start doing your own nails. Also monthly cleaning supplies seems like far too much when you also pay for housekeeping?
In my area I spend about $200 to $300 a week on groceries, but thatās with NO takeout at all. I get takeout maybe once a month, if that. I live in one of the highest cost of living cities in Canada.
$250-$400 a week on groceries PLUS takeout is excessive. Holy moly.
I usually shop at Aldi for produce, metro Market (I think itās called Kroger elsewhere) for more specialty stuff but I pretty much plan my meals around whatās on sale. I donāt buy a lot of candy or treats and I buy zero beverages other than milk and coffee. No soda, selzer, etc.
I can agree that depending on where you live $125 may be hard to budget on. I live in a medium cost of living area and just for our family of 3 itās difficult to stay under $200 per week for groceries, however we do limit our takeout expenses to compensate and try to eat as many home cooked meals as possible. We only do takeout maybe twice a month and thatās only maybe $50 each time (so about $100/month on takeout food). Not sure if you have freezer space but I find buying bulk (especially meats/seafood) then vacuum sealing and freezing saves us a TON of money. For example, 4 times a year I do a big meat haul and spend about $100-125 on meat/seafood thatās on sale and portion it out then freeze it.
Family of 3, our monthly food budget is $800 including eating out. We live in a VHCOL area. We typically shop at Costco every other week and spend ~200 and then alternating weeks we do regular grocery between $150-$180. For what itās worth, my husband makes over double yours and i spend zero on any personal grooming, we spend $60 or less per month on baby clothes, and have zero debt. It is BECAUSE my husband is so diligent with keeping track of finances and we keep spending down to true needs that we are able to be in the financial situation weāre in, own a home, etc. we bought our home when our incomes combined were lower than his is now.
I am also curious what falls into āmisc spendingā because aside from rent it is the largest thing in your monthly budget.
I dont want to be rude, but you're living a trophy wife life, girl.
If you cut your expenses with hair, nail, maid and baby clothes you will be rich. Also, how many kids do you have for so much money on baby clothes??? 10???
Damn girl you get to have hair care AND nail care š I havenāt done my hair in years and neither have my kids went to salons for their hair cuts, my husband cuts all of our hair lol. I only do my nails when my gel starts to chip or outgrow too. Youāre very blessed!
Something that sticks out to me is baby clothes ā $200 a month seems like a lot!
We get baby clothes once every 3-4 months when she grows out of her old things (currently 1yo and growing like a weed lol).
There are also a lot of ways to get baby clothes for cheaper, by thrifting or buying used! Also Iām not sure who you have in your life, but Iāve found that family members and friends love buying baby clothes, so itās a great go-to gift.
$1500 is a big chunk for āmiscellaneousā! Try to narrow that category down a bit and see if itās going to recurring necessities or just random things each month.
$1500 on miscellaneous? Thatās excessive! Can you divide the category down a bit to better explain whatās going on in there?
Hair, nails, takeout, and unknown credit card bills gotta go. Youāre a team, you need to combine expenses and see what heās spending. I definitely recommend listening to a few Caleb Hammer videos on YouTube!
This is a lot of unpack but your spending is out of control. Right off the bat you need to cut nail and hair care every month. Reduced hair to twice or maybe 3 times a year. Also cut housecleaning. I know itās hard to clean with kids but it will save you money. Not sure where you live but for my family of 3 people who eat we are around 125 each week. Do meals like crockpot meals. Those are cheap and easy. I use Pinterest to find cheap and easy meals. Donāt by extra foods. We have some snack for our toddler but itās not a lot. We donāt buy extra drinks other than coffee or milk. You also donāt need to spend 200 on clothes each month. Reduce that to once every 3-4 months. You also shouldnāt be spending 200 a month in cleaning supplies. Go to Costco and get in bulk. Youāll have cleaning supplies for at least 6 months. What is miscellaneous expenses?
Once you cut all those use that left over money to pay off ALL credit card debt. Then ONLY use your credit if you can pay off the total amount each month. Do not get yourself into credit card debt since that just eats at your budget.
Girl you can easily cut down on the nail care, eating out, and miscellaneous. Get at home nail stuff.
In addition to saving for a home, maybe look into a HYSA or stocks that will give you greater return on your investment in the meantime. Donāt just let your $$ sit in an account not collecting anything
Automatically you could save by getting rid of the housekeeper, the nails and the hair ā¦ and take out. Until you get rid of luxuries I donāt really think you have a place to complain about saving
Is hair care weekly? ListenāI get needing your mental health. But pick one. You donāt need nails, hair, AND a cleaning lady. Use your rewards points on that credit card monthly bill to pay for your mental health happiness.
Hereās where Iād trim and refocus:
We are a family of 3 in rural Colorado, so food is more expensive because we are in the mountains. I spend $150 every 2 weeks. And Costco every six months for $300-$500 depending. We get a massive bag of rice, flour, soy sauce, condiments, and the stuff that doesnāt go bad as fast. Also toilet paper. We use the reusable paper towels. The store I spend $150-$175 ish every 2 weeks I do that by doing a meal prep before. So I plan out the food I want to cook. Pad Thai, chicken noodle soup, goulash whatever and I can use ingredients across several recipes. I buy meat and freeze it when itās on sale. I make yogurt bites for my daughter, and most stuff at home. I even make our bread. Get good at cooking.
Take outāIf youāre spending $400 a week on groceriesā¦why do you need take out that much??
Monthly cleaning supplies $200 for ? $9 on spray bottles. Hydrogen peroxide, vinegar, a lime, some dish soap and water. Costco for toilet and shower cleaner. Costco for toilet paper. Youāre paying $400 for cleaning a monthā¦
Our phone bill is visible. $70 a month.
Baby clothesā¦$200 a month? You know they can wear the same outfit twice! Thrift. Walmart. Facebook marketplace. We spend money when she sizes up but thatās wild.
Whilst I appreciate your husband is being not transparent, you need that. You need to sit down and budget together. This budget is out of hand. My husband makes $260k, I made 30k this year before I quit, and I spend $1000 less than you a month.
I used to be you! I cut down my haircare to 0 and nails to 60 a month since i do my own gels on my hands now. I would also cut out housekeeping if im staying home Iāll clean my house instead of paying someone to. Food i spend about 250 a week i prepare a menu for the week. Baby clothes i only buy as she outgrows or the season change. Thankfully we donāt have credit card debt my husband makes 250k a year i decided to make cuts to be able to afford a baby. We have an 11 year old and we decided to try for our 1 year old but i needed to cut down in expenses. We are in a high cost of living area so itās very hard but we live a comfortable life thanks to that. And we can also afford our daughters gymnastics which is 525 a month. I do take out 3 times a week which are gymnastics days and Iām crunched with time. But the rest of the week i make breakfast lunch and dinner.
Your rent is too high, which is the biggest issue. My husband makes 91K, so not that much less than yours. But we only pay $1,850 for rent. And sometimes I feel like we're just getting by. I did used to pay 2,250. But honestly that was too much and we were slowly dipping into our savings too much. So with a $2,500 rent I can see how you're struggling.
Also your hair and nail care is a lot of money. I couldn't imagine spending that much on hair and nails every month. Do you really spend $350 a month on hair or is that a year? Cause I don't even thing I spend $350 in a year on my hair.
Sorry you got downvoted. You posted a great snapshot of your expenses. This is where you start. Yeah, there is things to work on. I paid off 43k of debt in 1 year making 75-80k a year at the time. We have been debt free for 4 or 5 years now. We live outside Seattle, so money doesnt stretch here.
Oh, and Dave Ramsay is where I started! I love the every dollar app it's worth we every penny. They once gifted me an entire year when I asked to cancel because my husband was laid off, so I love the app and the baby steps are fun to get through but hard.
Girl my husband makes over a million a year and I donāt even spend that much on my hair and nails monthly. Or food for that matter. What the hell is miscellaneous and how do you not know your loan and car insurance
Lol exactly. My husband makes good money and we don't spend like that either. $100k sounds like a lot of money, but it just doesn't go as far as it used to. And it was never enough for all that.
It looks like you spend more than you need to on several categories. What cleaning items are you buying that costs $200/month? I would cut the housekeeping out completely. Baby clothes shouldnāt cost $200/month. Thrift them or buy them on sale. Do your own nails and (if feasible) your own hair. What is included in your miscellaneous purchases?
What cleaning supplies do you use that add up to $200? I use wash cloths, alcohol spray with a drop of hydrogen peroxide as my all-purpose spray. Warm water, and soap when needed. I guess laundry detergent and dish soap could be extra, but??
Make sure you're not adding too many chemicals in your life!
Depending on your location, if youāre struggling with $100k then it seems like a budgeting problem. It may be worth looking at recurring monthly bills (car payments, subscriptions, etc) that can be downsized or cut out. My husband only makes around $65k a year and we are doing fine, we bought used cars and paid them off before we got married, and are okay driving 20 year old cars. Both had saved for a down payment on a home for years before we met however, so we just combined that. Neither of us have student loan debt as we worked through college. So our monthly bills are literally just groceries, insurance, phones, mortgage, power, and water etc. it may be worth sitting down with an accountant to see where you can cut back.
I'd definitely start looking through your expenses first. $100k should be plenty for most places. But it definitely won't go far if you aren't paying close attention to what you're spending. A lot of times it's the small purchases that add up, especially subscription services. So definitely look at your entertainment expenses - streaming services, restaurants, etc. That's usually the easiest place to make meaningful cuts to the budget. And a lot of times we forget we're still paying for something, so dig through your bank statements.
Another way is to look at your Internet and phone bill. A lot of times we end up buying plans that are way more than what we actually need and use. I cut my bill in half by switching to a month to month plan with less internet allowance and using Wi-Fi exclusively at home. Because I'm rarely out of the house, I have never ran out of Internet on my phone plan. Same could be true for your Internet service.
My husband hardly makes 40k a year. We make it work. You really need to know your needs and wants. A lot of things are not essential. We have 2 kids 4 & 9. Once my youngest is in school I plan on going back to work.
55k before taxes, one income family. Girl, you're getting nail and hair care still š. It's only in our budget to get my $35 haircut ONCE a year and my husband cuts his hair and my kids.
There is no savings for us. We spend around $150 a ween at Aldi (not including meat because we raise beef cows). I make everything from scratch and we don't eat out.
Cut out things like subscriptions, YouTube premium, etc. as those can add up every month. Things like gym memberships you might not use and adjusting your food budget to realistically how much 2 people + 1 child eat. Buy less brand name items when possible and switch to store-brand but basically the same items (I like a lot of Up & Up items at Target because ingredients and quality is on par with big brand names). Iāve been a SAHM for 5 years now and we are ok. I just try to buy a lot of items on sale and shop during odd-times like a Tuesday or Wednesday because youāll find a lot of good clearance stuff on sale then. Make big batches of food for leftovers and cut out eating out. My husband and I rarely order or eat out, Iāve become a pretty decent cook now and I think thatās helped immensely with us saving money.
Hubby is at around $170k annual salary, plus he gets 1 larger commission 1x per year and a smaller one 1x per year. Commissions are around 20-30k in February, but it's taxed at 40% so it's really like $10-15k, and then again in June smaller commission of 5k, again taxed at 40% so it's like $2k. We use his commissions to pad our savings, pay for a yearly vacation, and then we normally each get 1 small nice thing - a BBQ or a handbag or something like that.
We are in a suburb in Northern California and we are comfortable financially. I was a teacher before and it didn't make sense to pay for daycare (about 2,000 per month where I am at). The emotional sacrifice for such little pay wasn't worth it. I feel lucky to have the option for me to stay home
Hey obviously I don't know where you live, but where I like $100k isn't that much, so I feel you that it's a struggle!
Admittedly my husband makes a bit more than you (900k), but we had a lot of years of struggle before we got here! This is the saving system we use, and from what I've read it's the easiest saving system for most people. It's called a 50 30 20 budget.
50% of your budget is going to go on your needs. Needs are bills, food, rent, transport etc.
30% is going on your wants. Wants are new clothes (outside of winter coats etc which are needs), eating out, subscriptions etc.
20% is savings and debt. That's oaying off your car, saving for college, etc.
Now you can switch to 20% wants and 30% savings if you prefer, but for a lot of people that begins to feel really hard and austere.
I prefer to do this as a weekly budget, but you can do it per pay period, or whatever makes sense to you. But at the end of each 'period' ALL extra money in your account goes into savings.
Choose a high yield savings account, and money that goes in there stays in there. It only comes out for emergencies.
Agree a spending threshold between you and your partner, any purchases above that number must be discussed and agreed upon. For us that number is $1000, but pick what makes sense for you.
Yes, my husband created a successful online commerce company. But we had a lot of years of struggle before that - 10 years of me doing shift work at the hospital and him working 80 hour weeks to get it off the ground!
She asked how much our income is, though? Im autistic so this may be a social cue i missing, so I apologize if I was rude. Until about two years ago, we were on 80k a year, and the 50/30/20 budget worked for us then as well.
Autism isn't an excuse, it's an explanation. I know the difference between a little and a lot, of course. But I also know it would be rude to say 'we make a lot more than you.' What i am/was unclear on is why it's rude to tell OP our budget/income, when she asked for our budget/income.
No criticism on my end, though? I live in a HCOL country (house price averages are $1mil+), and as I said - we lived for many years on my 80k hospital salary. We used the same budget then as we do now.
OP asked people how much income their family has, and asked for budgeting tips. So I gave her both.
You asked why you're getting downvoted. That's probably why. I think if you can affford to put 30% of your salary toward "wants," you're probably pretty privileged, no matter where you live.
I suggested the 50/30/20 budget to OP because from a quick calculation of the expenses she listed, right now, they're actually spending more than 30% on 'wants' like a cleaner, hair and nails, takeout etc. And that's not factoring in her husband's credit card spending, which she doesn't know the cost of.
So bringing the spending down to 30% of her budget will already feel like a budget squeeze as they adjust. Realistically, if they go straight into austerity saving - OP will likely find the number of changes all at once unmanageable, and revert back to how they previously spent their money.
Yeah, if it's advice specifically to OP, that makes more sense. It comes off a bit differently if it's meant more as general advice. Sometimes it's hard to tell with online comments like that.
I would be interested to hear some more of your perspective. My husband is up there too (around 700 is expected for next year) and you donāt meet many sahms in that range on this thread!
I don't think my life is wildly different than many of the people here from what I've seen, tbh!
Our monthly expenses are probably a little less than OP's, I don't get my hair or nails done with any regularity (maybe once a year), and I'm lucky enough to grow a good vegetable garden, so our food expenses are probably a bit less (my dream is to have a big enough yard to get chickens haha). My husband works from home, so we save on fuel as well. We eat out maybe once/twice a week, and I sew most of my/my daughters clothes. We are living in a rental right now while our house gets earthquake repairs done, so we have those dual costs of rent + mortgage.
Our main priority atm is to save as much as we can in a high yield account and to pay off our mortgage ASAP. We still use the same 50/30/20 budget that we did when we had less money, it's always worked for us. We are planning to get a financial advisor next year, and we do have an accountant just to make sure we're doing the right thing with saving etc, and to look into where we can invest.
Obviously we are incredibly privileged to be in the position we are, and I'm hugely grateful for it.
The work from home must be so nice! We just moved to have my husbands commute go from 1 hour to 7 minutes and our mortgage is 5.5 times what it used to be. Thatās pretty much our biggest expense. Are you finding you actually only save 20%? are you planning to go back to work ever? Thatās something I struggle with. Many sahm talk about going back once their kids are in school but i donāt think it makes sense for our family and I feel judged for it
The work from home is a huge luxury, although he does lock himself away in his office from 8.30-4 most days haha. I usually only see him during bathroom breaks and when i being him lunch.
No, we save more than 20% in general, but 20% is the minimum we save. On a Sunday night (pay hits out account Monday morning), I usually transfer any remaining money in our account into our high yield savings, so we start each week fresh. Otherwise, the temptation to spend extra money is too much.
Right now, my plan is to stay at home forever. I have the luxury of choice, and it makes our lives a lot smoother to have me at home running errands, looking after the kids etc. We don't have to worry about what we will do when someone is sick, and as the family gets older it frees me up to pursue my hobbies (I garden, sew, cook etc, nothing crazy.)
I DO feel judged for it, but I'm a staunch feminist and believe that it's each woman's choice about what is best for her/her family. And I have the privilege to actually action those choices.
I've never felt strongly that work was my passion, I worked in healthcare and left after covid because of burnout. But some people thrive in work - I have friends who absolutely adore their job and would hate my life. But equally, I think their life sounds horrible.
I have wanted to try that!! You quickly end up with too much cash and not really knowing what to do and then getting comfortable. Iām glad to see thatās a real strategy. Do you invest any of the extra or is that all hysa? Every year we have had a big thing, but now weāre updated on cars and the forever home, so I think weāll start trying something along those lines!
We sound very similar! Home cooked meals every meal, I sew and knit a lot, and were rather old fashioned in a lot of ways. I get judged but yet if this is my choice, isnāt that enough to be ok?
It's absolutely okay! Look, if your husband was forcing you to be this person, then it's a problem. But if this is who you are, then just let yourself be who you are!
For us it's worked great as a strategy. My husband in particular has ADHD, so adding an extra step of annoyance (having to withdraw the money from another account) cuts out a lot of his impulse spending.
We invest some of it, typically if we have a large or unexpected windfall. I'd definitely recommend a getting financial advisor who can help you understand how to best invest for your goals (slow but reliable growth vs risky but quick strategies, for example).
We typically also do one 'big' trip a year. I put big in quotation marks because we work it around our daughter and what she can handle - as she gets older they will likely get more elaborate. Again, I'm really aware of how lucky we are to be able to do this, and don't take it for granted.
My husband makes about 210K a year and then a bonus but we save or give away pretty much the entire bonus so we donāt count it toward our budget (in case his company ever doesnāt give it out)
We give 11% of our income to our church/charities, max out 401k every year and set aside additional money as well and we put money in our daughters college fund (I think $400-800 a month I canāt remember) - we also typically do one big house project per year so thatās another big chunk of money. Oh and our mortgage payment is 3200 a month (itās a 15 year loan)- I mention all this because after all this we probably are living on about the same amount as you.
We splurge on a few things - organic food, hosting friends and family and having a house cleaner who comes 2x a month. I also have a babysitter coming roughly 2x a month for my daughter. It costs $80 each time she comes. Otherwise we are pretty frugal - I try to buy half of my groceries at aldi and anything I canāt get organic there I buy from
Whole Foods. I donāt do my nails or anything like that and donāt shop for new clothes very often for myself or my baby. My baby wears pretty much exclusively hand me downs from Friends or gifted clothes. Shes 13 months old and Iāve maybe bought her 3 outfits ever. I try to shop sales for gifts and things I do need to buy and will wait a while for a sale if needed. We also donāt do a ton of expensive activities or anything. Our cars are totally paid off and we had really crappy cars up until a year ago to make this happen. Like my husbands car didnāt have auto locks or windows that rolled up on their own haha
Looking at your budget I would do some MAJOR cutting- no more nails or monthly hair budget (do a low maintenance style/color so you can get away with 2x a year), no more baby clothes budget and do thrifted or gifted clothes only - start shopping at Aldi or Costco or something similar to save on groceries (look Taylor sharp up on Instagram she has good tips on this) and get your credit cards paid off ASAP! No more fun purchases until all debt is paid off!
Honestly one of the sneakiest hidden expenses was STREAMING SERVICES.
Hulu + live tv alone was like $100+ then add on Netflix, peacock, paramount+, Max, Disney, Apple TVā donāt judge we watch a lot of shows on different streaming services. But; We consolidated to see if we could find bundle deals and were able to cut at least $75 on streaming alone.
Went through our storage unit to see what we were actually storing and it turns out we donāt really need that. Canceling that this month and thatās another $150 saved.
Husband makes 105k + 10% bonus. We live in NC but I will say that my husband is very financially savvy. We bought our condo in 2018 and refinanced before rates rose in 2021 so our mortgage and utility bills are roughly $1500 a month. Not including my car payment. Total bills are around half his income but I really think if we didnāt refinance in 2021 we wouldnāt be sitting as comfortably as we are.
I also buy almost all of my sons clothes from Once Upon a Child (consignment store) for substantially cheaper. $200 a month on kids clothes seems excessive since they grow out of clothes so fast
We also got rid of Verizon. Wayyyyyy too expensive. We use visible mobile (itās actually Verizonās postpaid plan). Itās $35 a month and living in a city we still get really great reception. Also Iām home so often and my husband works from home 3x a week so we pretty much just use wifi
My husband makes about 150k. We spend 200-250 a week on groceries as a family for 3. I used to cook 5-6 nights a week but Iām pregnant with twins so not anymore lol. We do use emeals which I feel save us a lot in not wasting food and buying stuff with no plan for it.
You can find so many baby clothes on consignment for much cheaper, like never worn name brands. I love baby gap and little sleepies and have never bought it directly even though itās most of my sons clothing š
I get most of ours at a seasonal consignment event. We sell our old stuff and buy from it so we hardly spend money.
Curious as to other miscellaneous expenses? Hobby stuff? Online shopping?
My husband makes 91k. We live in CA, but not a super expensive area. Our rent is $1,850. I do feel like we are kind of just getting by. We're trying to put savings away, but there's not a ton left over. But I only plan to be SAHM until my OAD is in school. Then I feel like it'll be easier to get by once I can bring in more money.
Stay at home mama here, homeschooling a 6 and 5 year old. My husband only makes 100k if he works A LOT of overtime.
We spend less than $200 a week on groceries. Try budging for less than what you're currently spending. Then, do your shopping with a calculator. When you've reached your budget, look at what you have in your cart and figure out what you really need and what you don't. Decide if you can shop somewhere cheaper. I stopped shopping at Wegmans (except for a few select items) because it was more expensive than a combination of Walmart, Price Chopper, and Aldi.
I'm not going to shame you for doing your nails and hair. If that's important to you, than keep it. But you should look elsewhere in your budget to cut something out to compensate for it.
Sit down with your husband and have a real and honest conversation. It CAN be done. If you both are on the same page and want it, you'll figure it out. But you'll need to be realistic about it. Good luck!
Husband makes about $65k and we don't live in a lcol area. We aren't contributing to savings rn but we get by, barely.
We live in a small house and pay about $1900/mo with insurance and utilities.
We cut down on subscriptions, only pay for Netflix now. Hulu is free with ads through our cell phone provider. We have Amazon but I'm debating getting rid of that since you can still get free shipping without it. We have bunny ears for basic cable.
I get my hair cut every few months, but stopped getting it dyed. No nails or other beauty stuff unless I diy.
We plan meals ahead and buy groceries mostly at Aldi and Walmart and spend between $150-$200/week including formula, and that's mostly organic food. Sometimes I go to costco or sams with a family member for cleaning supplies, paper products, and diapers. Baby clothes are all hand me downs from friends or family, or grandparents buy stuff now and then. We don't really buy clothes often for ourselves and if we do they're thrifted or cheap from Old Navy.
Phones are paid off and we'll keep them until they die. Have a car payment that is honestly too high, but we got a used car that was the best we could get within budget and isn't flashy, just a regular run of the mill sedan. Our other vehicle is paid off. Insurance is not too bad since the paid off vehicle is older. Gotta shop around every time it expires for a better deal.
We don't really dine out anymore. If we do, we get takeout from somewhere cheaper and pick it up so we don't pay for delivery.
It sucks giving up the luxuries, but ya gotta do it.
My husband now makes $340k but up until a few years ago my husband was making a little over $100k and it did feel like we had to budget so carefully. I remember feeling like my friends whose husbands made the same money did so much better than us. Fancier homes, nicer cars, better vacations. Eventually I realized they were either getting help from their parents or in a lot of debt. We live in a low cost of living state.
Even now with my husband making more money we still live in a more modest house and save as much money as we can in case this gravy train ends. I suggest budgeting as much as you can and try not to compare. What helped us was my husband doing side work in his profession that pays well. That gave us an extra $30k- $50k per year. This eventually became his business, but even just that extra side work income made all the difference. We could fill our emergency funds, max out retirement, and contribute to college funds. I also suggest watching Caleb Hammer, Ramsey, or some other person. Watching those videos makes me keep up on a budget.
Normally the easiest things to cut back on when adjusting a budget are any extra things like takeout/dining out, subscriptions, date nights (especially if frequent and/or expensive), new cell phones/expensive service plans, housekeeping, clothing shopping, and salon services (nails, hair, waxing, tanning, etc). After that look at possible adjustable expenses such as groceries, lawn care, miscellaneous shopping trips (like target lol which Iām guilty of splurging on every so often), etc. Then look at any debt you have and see if thereās anything adjustable there either paying off what you can quickly (usually try for highest interest rate charges first) or consolidating what you can and closing any accounts that ātemptā extra spending (such as specific store credit cards).
To answer your question, my husband makes around what yours makes and we live very comfortably even with my car payment, a mortgage payment, and my student loans. We donāt pay for a housekeeper, limit our dining out to twice a month with a max of $50-60 each time, I bulk buy groceries when I can and freeze what Iām able to along with shopping food sales and planning out our meals for the week based on whatās on sale, donāt pay for any kind of childcare (no babysitter, no part time daycare, no nanny, etc), take advantage of free community activities (such as libraries, nature trails, etc) vs paid ones (all we pay for is an annual zoo membership which basically pays for itself with how often we go and a weekly swim lesson), I only get a haircut every 2 months, try to do my own nails, and limit toy/clothing shopping to only as needed 4-5 times per year.
A lot but we live way under our means and save 50% of his money and we donāt use my money at all.
We do live in HCOL area, probably one of the highest in the US. We donāt have student loans (scholarships for husband & I lived with my parents and paid the hell out of my loans by taking advantage of my living situation with parents). We do pay off our CCās each month so we donāt have any debts either thank god. It helps to budget, live beneath your means, pay off all debts, and be financially savvy. Iām very blessed that I made the right decisions and so did my husband. Being in debt is suffocating so make sure to always live within your means and cut out any unnecessary things.
Edit: I refuse to get my hair done in the US because itās soo overpriced. I was getting cut, color, blow dry. None of those things. I got an air straight, air wrap, and styling tools. My hair is my natural hair color, one length so easier to cut, and I style it on my own. If Iām traveling, Iāll get a hair cut which is one inch off for split ends. I was in morocco and literally got so much done for $50 lol and thatās a famous salon.
I also meal plan and prep to use ALL of my groceries because I hate waste. It also saves money when you go in knowing what to buy. I do all cooking and we get takeout maybe 1-2 times a week.
We pay for a deep clean once a month which is $170 (with tip). Otherwise, I do all cleaning, laundry, cooking, chores. Iām also daycare lol taking care of my son. I work from home but on maternity leave. I canāt see myself sending my son to day care.
Even though my husband and I make a lot of money, we invest pretty much all of it, max out 401K, live in an apt right now to get to our financial goal. Itās working pretty well.
Iām in the same boat. My husband is the only source of income and he makes around 100k a year but we have virtually NOTHING to show for it and couldnāt afford a big hit or vacation if we wanted to. Between paying rent ($1700) car payments (about 700 a month for two vehicles), car insurance ($250), utility bills (gas, water, electricity), phone bill ($225/month), child support ($500/week), child care ($100/week), college tuition (roughly $1000 per semester) and now lawyer fees ($3500+ another $3k) weāre basically down to nothing after gas and groceries by the end of the month. Itās sooo frustrating
Mine is about 55k annually. We are lucky to rent from my parents and save a ton buy we definitely donāt have the funds for fun, spending money. We live in the middle of nowhere in Ohio. Iām new to being a stay at home mom and Iām super nervous trying to survive off just my husbands income. I could get another job if needed but childcare expenses make it seem not worth it. Luckily we are pretty self sufficient when it come to meat and I want to get into gardening come spring. Along with milking goats. There are some luxury things we could cut out, like WiFi, coffee, getting takeout, etc.
If you havenāt already, we follow Dave Ramsey. It took me a few years to realize what he was saying could actually happen before we started. We sold a house 8mo after starting to pay off $50k of debt. We have a bit more to go and should have it paid in 3years or less. I also use YNAB (you need a budget app) and total expenses weekly while tracking them as I spend. It took a lot of sacrifices at first but now itās just every day life on a low budget.
One of the best things I heard was that
Studies on self made millionaires was that the women were very frugal. Even at millionaire state you still have a budget. My husband is a natural saver and Iām a natural spender. But over the year I have learned how to not give into temptations and where to buy things cheaper. In all Iām content in where weāre at, and I would rather pay off this last loan before getting the newest tech, or have a Pinterest home.
To get here you have to be tired of living paycheck to check to paycheck! You have to have will to change or you wonāt follow through!
We make 50k a year. Write down every single bill and itemize it. Total it. Stick to it and reduce where u can daily. We are 5 ppl. 3 year old and two babies
I think it might be better to try to do your own nails. I really only get my nails professionally done if I have an event. Hair care might be something else you can cut back on. I think you need to sit down with your husband and itemize everything and see where all your money is going. Remember that credit cards can have a crazy high interest rate. You could be paying 30% extra just for carrying a balance every month. Work out a strict budget. Then I'd look into moving your debt to a lower interest card or personal loan and pay it like crazy.
Years ago my husband and I had $30k on a credit card that had a 28% interest rate. We could not pay it off because it just kept growing even after we stopped using it. We went through our budget and cut out all non-essentials and moved the debt to a low interest personal loan. Then we threw every extra dollar to that debt and closed the credit card account. It really got us on a better path financially. Lots of budget advice on YouTube and elsewhere.
We earn more now and moved to a lower cost area, were currently house poor (between 300 and 600 k a year, 10 k on mortgage) but before that we were HCOL area and bringing in 275k. It wasn't a struggle but it was tight as my husband actually was partially supporting 2 other households (his sister and unemployed bro in law n their kids, n his mom dad n unwed sister).
What we did:
I got a monthly stipend of 500 bucks to spend on whatever I wanted without having to ask or disclose. I mostly saved this for 60 buck on nails every other month, and my beauty routine, and whatever was left was gifts for my loved ones bdays. But I'd budget hair care massages in that, Groupon was great for this.
We did take out once a month. To not constantly cook, I'd cook double whatever the meal was and freeze half. We'd eat the frozen part on weekends. I also had a rotation of affordable easy foods, stir fries, Thai curry and rice, crock pot/instant pot recipes. Lots of rice and I'd buy whatever produce was on sale, so if the recipe called for butternut squash but zucchini was on sale I'd just use that.
We did mint mobile to cut down phone costs. We had a small apartment so I did the cleaning and we hired a cleaner 1 time a month for a deep clean, like 350 bicks for 6 hrs. And we tried to put at least 500 bucks to pay back a debt to a friend. If we could do more we did more.
It was tough cuz 4.5 to 5 k was going to other family each month. But we managed. I was pretty exhausted though. My husband's career took a few turns where now we are becoming way more comfortable.
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u/Aggressive-Bit-1687 Dec 19 '24
35k š we broke broke