r/stayathomemoms • u/Valuable_Breath_6339 • Apr 26 '26
Question A desperate mom needs help lol
I have a 15 month old and I need sleep. My child will wake up 3-4 times at night. I just want at least a full night of sleep, I am always exhausted to the point I become mean and constantly have headaches. My husband tries his best to help put he works overnight. What do I do? Could i give them a small dose of melatonin? HELPP !
2
u/Lil_MsPerfect Apr 26 '26
No melatonin, but have you got something like a white noise machine perhaps?
1
u/Valuable_Breath_6339 Apr 26 '26
Yes I do
2
u/Lil_MsPerfect Apr 26 '26
Sometimes when they wake up they have a hard time falling back asleep instead of waking up all the way, so a white noise machine can kind of help with that.
1
u/Valuable_Breath_6339 Apr 26 '26
Yea true , where I live can be quiet noisy and my house during the summer makes a lot of cracking noise
2
u/swirlysand Apr 27 '26
Check out r/bninfantsleep! They can help you get better sleep without sleep training.
5
3
u/Numerous-Avocado-786 Apr 26 '26
Have you tried cosleeping? It was a huge game changer for my daughter and I was finally able to start sleeping again.
4
u/steviegirl_96 Apr 27 '26
I second this. I didn’t start cosleeping until my son was 12 months old. He’s 23 months old now and we still cosleep. I have a much more restful night without having to get up and down all night. My son still wakes up but it a lot less now. We are in the process of night weaning now. I tried the Ferber method for one night and never did it again. So this is the best way to get sleep with out trying to sleep train.
2
u/Valuable_Breath_6339 Apr 27 '26
I just honestly want my quiet time without being in the room with her
2
u/Valuable_Breath_6339 Apr 26 '26
I did co sleep until she was 5 months
3
u/Numerous-Avocado-786 Apr 27 '26
I did too. I got her in her crib. Then 9 months hit. She ended up back in our bed. She’s 3 and in her own room again but she’ll sleep through or wake up once usually. Cosleeping can be a fluid thing and it doesn’t have to be forever. If your child prefers it then it might get you some sleep until they’re out of this phase.
3
u/Holocene-92 Apr 26 '26
Sleep training is the answer. Read the book Precious Little Sleep!
7
u/Valuable_Breath_6339 Apr 26 '26
Honestly I can’t stand crying to the point she would throw up
5
1
u/Lil_MsPerfect Apr 26 '26
There are a lot of methods for sleep training that aren't the awful one you're referring to, most are very gentle. I highly recommend reading Precious Little Sleep too, it really helped me understand wake windows and when naps should be/how long as well as when bedtime needed to be for my kid at certain ages vs what I felt was normal just based on when they got up from last nap etc.
0
u/mph_11 Apr 26 '26
This! It's life changing to get more sleep. It can be hard and I definitely felt like I was neglecting my baby if I wasn't with them every second at first, but reading the book helped me realize that the loving thing to do can be to help them sleep more independently. For us that did involve some crying (but it doesn't always have to depending on the kid) but within a few days it was drastically better.
3
u/Holocene-92 Apr 26 '26
This!! My baby became SIGNIFICANTLY happier when he wasn’t chronically sleep deprived and I was a safer mom not dealing with sleep deprivation. He is now happy going into his crib at night. Sleep is a skill for life.
3
u/findingcoldsassy Apr 26 '26
Sleep training. Extinction, Ferber, chair method, etc. Pick the one that works for your family and your baby's temperament and be consistent. They've relied on you up until now to help them fall asleep/back asleep, they're not going to magically stop without changing something up. Don't give them melatonin.
2
u/straawbunnii Apr 27 '26
I’ve heard moms on call has been a lifesaver for many parents. You can also do a form of sleep training. There’s methods that don’t result in crying it out. We did it and my daughter sleeps great
1
u/FanndisTS Apr 27 '26
What does your husband's schedule actually look like? If it's 5 on/2 off, could he just skip shifting his schedule one weekend and take the night shift for 2 days? If it's 7 on/7 off, maybe he could delay shifting his schedule a day or two so you can get at least one night of sleep? You're on duty 24/7 right now and that's not sustainable.
1
u/Valuable_Breath_6339 Apr 27 '26
He’s in Law enforcement so his schedule is not consistent so I try not to rely on him too much
1
u/PlentyTomato6351 Apr 27 '26
I have heard that giving them a bit of a heavier meal closer to bed might help them sleep longer through the night. I haven’t tried it yet but that is something everyone is telling me.
1
0
u/swirlysand Apr 27 '26
I give my son doctored-up vanilla milk before bed and it does help! Or at least if he does wake, it's not because he's hungry.
Recipe:
- 8 oz whole milk
- 1/4 teaspoon alcohol-free organic vanilla flavoring
- 1 teaspoon avocado oil
- 3 grams whey-only protein powder
- 1/2 scoop 100% monkfruit extract powder
Whirled up with a stick blender.
1
u/Snickeranddoodle Apr 27 '26
What is their nap schedule like? How much daytime sleep are they getting? What time are they going to sleep/waking up in the morning?
You don’t need to sleep train, despite what everyone else is saying. Many times it’s an issue of sleep pressure.
1
u/Valuable_Breath_6339 Apr 27 '26
She takes one nap a day, 2-2.5 hours. Her bedtime is 6:45-7pm and she wakes up like 6 some times 5:45-6am
10
u/MysticSugar Apr 26 '26
melatonin is not to be given at this age. what's kiddo's schedule like? a nap? 2 naps? wake times? cosleep? still breastfeeding? teething? there are so factors for sleep.