To commemorate the newly released RE9 update, please verbosify:

Leon must die forever.

Nate "Valtteri" Churman

If you want to say WTF. Don't. Say "God's wounds! What foul sorcery and ungodly wickedness hath wrought this?!"

Dont say "No", instead say: As a result of a thorough contemplation of your kindly given offer, I have come to find that mine current focuses do not, in fact, align with such a preposterous inquiry, and in such the result is a definitive and final negative answer.

- aswdfzxcvbhgtyyn

I am a nippist. Yes, that's right. The other day I had a braindead kid tell me I was a racist for having a fetish for pink nipples. I stood there processing the nonsense. The absolute, unadulterated brain-rot leaking out of this kid's mouth was enough to lower my IQ to room-level temperature. "Racist?" I finally managed to choke out, staring at him like he'd just tried to eat a box of crayons. "Do you even know what that word means, or did you just pick it up from a trending hashtag this morning?" He opened his mouth to pivot back to his script, but then he stopped. I could see the gears grinding, smoking, and finally catching on something. He looked at my frustration, then he looked at his own reflection in the window of the nearby CVS, and suddenly, his entire posture collapsed. "Wait," he whispered, his eyes widening to his dark brown nipples. "I am not a White guy, I am a pair of dark brown nipples, and you're a fucking nippist." I blinked. The room-level temperature of my IQ just dropped to sub-zero. This kid wasn't just confused. He was experiencing a complete dissociative break from reality. I made a run for it, not knowing if he'd shove his dark brown nipples into my mouth, but then I came to the realization that I hate all people with dark brown nipples especially when I need to have sex with them, and thus I realized that I was a nippist, the worst of them all.

Listen, you incels, I've had a vision, a sticky one at that, offered to me by two pink nipples staring down at me while I was masturbating. We need to stop playing paintball, we need to start playing cumball. Yes, that's right. Instead of neon-green dye shells, we should just deep freeze my cum and then use it as ammo. We should also replace all the men with women and force everyone to play naked including me. Now, one of you incels will claim that this is stupid, but it doesn't matter if it's stupid if it gets me laid. Just think of it, if you're willing to get doused with my cum, what's a little cumshot right out of my dick? Yes, that's right. It's the same thing. Just one small cumshot, and the whole battlefield will turn into an orgy with me in the middle of it all in a sea of pussies. Yes, that's right. That's why you incels need to stop playing paintball and gender-swap your ass so I can get some fucking going.