r/IncreasinglyVerbose • u/LargeSinkholesInNYC • Apr 26 '26
I am a nippist
I am a nippist. Yes, that's right. The other day I had a braindead kid tell me I was a racist for having a fetish for pink nipples. I stood there processing the nonsense. The absolute, unadulterated brain-rot leaking out of this kid's mouth was enough to lower my IQ to room-level temperature. "Racist?" I finally managed to choke out, staring at him like he'd just tried to eat a box of crayons. "Do you even know what that word means, or did you just pick it up from a trending hashtag this morning?" He opened his mouth to pivot back to his script, but then he stopped. I could see the gears grinding, smoking, and finally catching on something. He looked at my frustration, then he looked at his own reflection in the window of the nearby CVS, and suddenly, his entire posture collapsed. "Wait," he whispered, his eyes widening to his dark brown nipples. "I am not a White guy, I am a pair of dark brown nipples, and you're a fucking nippist." I blinked. The room-level temperature of my IQ just dropped to sub-zero. This kid wasn't just confused. He was experiencing a complete dissociative break from reality. I made a run for it, not knowing if he'd shove his dark brown nipples into my mouth, but then I came to the realization that I hate all people with dark brown nipples especially when I need to have sex with them, and thus I realized that I was a nippist, the worst of them all.
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u/Particular-Jury-3251 Apr 28 '26
I, being a fellow human on the app formally known as “Reddit”, find it utterly appalling in a most absurd fashion that some people as simply unable to grasp such a basic concept as “personal preferences”. Indeed, it seems to me that the most correct course of action may be to go to a store and buy a book known as a “dictionary” in order to show them the terrible error of their way of thinking. All humans have such a basic right to be attracted to any particular features of other humans, and indeed no one should tell them otherwise.