I have severe trust issues and quite the strong hatred for men. i have been assaulted, I am mentally ill, and I have the titism.

I have tokophobia which is an extreme fear of being pregnant and pregnancy.

So, having my tubes removed sounds like a great option. But there are a few things that are extremely triggering for me is being completely unconscious, having a uteral manipulator and a catheter in me and the thought of them shaving me. I am going to request all female staff but there's still the thought that they'll say yes, but I'll have male staff in there. And sometimes you just don't have a choice in a rural community. I might be stuck with whoever I get stuck with

How and what should I do to help with these fears

How do I convince the gynecologist that I'm seeing on Tuesday and she's female, but she is notorious for denying women's sterilization even if their life depends on it but she's the only one in my area. It's not like I could walk in and explain that every single time a child screams I want to ram its head off the ground, or that if I ever get pregnant I'm going off myself. Yes, i am mentally ill, but I don't think she'd take me serious if I said that and you just don't say those things to a doctor, I'm trying to get sterilized, not put in a mental institution🤣

I am bringing my mother to vouch for me that I've never wanted kids, since she told me and showed me where babies come from and nothing's changed but I'm not too sure my mom will be convincing enough.

What if you're on your period or start your period within the two weeks after surgery? But you use a diva cup or disk, because you're allergic to every pad in the damn store and for some reason they make period underwear extremely cheeky or you just bleed thro. At this point period underwear is just a joke to me. what do I do I can't just freebleed. And Google says you can't use a diva cup or disk for two weeks after surgery. I don't know if any one knows this. But you don't really have much control over the surgery date when it's booked ahead of time. Sometime months or even years ahead of time.

Yes, am I having a weird allergic reaction to random things. But doctors don't care, because my blood work shows up normal. Now remember I'm autistic. I don't like the feeling and the texture of reusable pads. They're too thick, they move around, and they're shit. And I have tried all natural organic feminine products too. I'm allergic to them too. The cup is the only thing that is comfortable. So has anybody just ignored the doctors and user cup anyway

I had my bisalp in November 2025, and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

What surprised me most was how different I felt afterward. Almost immediately, I felt like my body was finally mine.

The closest thing I can compare it to is owning a house instead of renting one. Before, there was always this possibility hanging over me, even though I was always religious about my birth control. After surgery, that was gone.

It felt like I finally owned the place.

I could make permanent decisions. I could make plans for the future knowing exactly what I wanted my life to look like. There was something incredibly freeing about knowing that chapter was closed because I chose to close it.

For a lot of my life, I felt like I was just responding to whatever came my way and trying to survive it. This was one of the first times I made a major decision simply because it was right for me.

What I didn't expect was how much it would affect the rest of my life.

Making that decision gave me confidence to start making other big decisions. It made me realize that I don't have to follow the default path or live the life that other people expect me to want. I can choose. I can change course. I can build a life that actually fits me.

Looking back, the surgery itself wasn't what changed my life. It was what it represented. It was the moment I stopped being a passenger and started driving.

Since then, the trajectory of my life has completely changed. I've become more intentional, more confident in my decisions, and more willing to take ownership of the direction my life is heading. I no longer feel like I'm just passing through life and reacting to whatever happens next. I've taken the wheel.

I know everyone's experience is different, and not everyone attaches this much meaning to the procedure. For me, though, it was incredibly empowering. It gave me a sense of freedom, ownership, and control that I wasn't expecting.

I'm curious if anyone else felt this way afterward. Did your bisalp end up being about more than just birth control? Did anyone else walk away feeling empowered by the decision itself?

I am starting a new job in july and getting healthcare finally. I immediately want to look into getting a bisalp but obviously, being a 22 year old new grad, I dont have a large savings and want to minimize spending on this. I heard you can get it completely covered but you have to ensure its listed properly for the healthcare? IDK i am just looking for advice about the payment/paperwork sides of things

Is Tr*mp going to make it illegal to get sterilized? With what's happening in NC I'm thinking I should do it while I have the chance.

I just want to celebrate getting my bisalp, I can't tell very many of my family members about it but I know you guys will appreciate it along with me! 🥳

I had my bisalp Friday 5/29/26 and I already feel so much relief and peacefulness in getting this procedure done. Over the last few years I learned that I have severe Tokophobia so this was the perfect choice for me. This was the best decision I've ever made and I'm so happy to have gotten it done with very little push back from my doctor!

My bisalp is in exactly 30 days. Besides a c-section, I’ve never had any other procedures/surgeries. My pre-op appointment is 6/19 and I’m sure my doctor will tell me anything I’ll need to know, but for those who’ve also had a bisalp, did you have to take your piercings out? I had a few done before I got called for an available date, so they will still be a bit new come surgery.

I’m so nervous for the whole thing

Hello everyone!

I had my bisalp on May 5, so it's coming up on a month, my post-op appointment is this week. The surgery itself ended up being a little more intense than expected because they found endometriosis and removed some of it. Even so, my recovery has been fine physically, my surgeon recommended 2 weeks off work which I took, I haven't been in any severe pain or discomfort, even my period since the surgery went smoothly. I went off my birth control which was giving me awful side effects, so I feel better for being off it. I was even able to have sex without issue after 2.5 weeks (gently!) I'm 32 and overall healthy, in okay shape, I don't smoke or drink anymore, and prior to surgery I was in a pretty good routine with exercise and yoga.

My problem is that after surgery, I still get so exhausted that I feel like I have the flu. My job involves fairly demanding hours, so it's tiring at best, but recently I feel like I am falling asleep once 4pm rolls around, even when I have a day off. I thought I had a cold, but I don't have cold symptoms. I'm going to bring this up to my surgeon during my post-op, but I wanted to see if this is a common experience or if I should be worried. My surgeon was great, and answered all of my questions, but I'm starting to feel like she downplayed the recovery and I should've taken more time off work. She told me to take at least a month off lifting and hot yoga, which could be contributing to my poor energy levels. I just don't really have anything to compare it to since I haven't gotten any other surgeries besides wisdom teeth removal.

Did anyone else deal with this? Is it just because I haven't been able to exercise normally?

I had my procedure done last year 2025 in July and I just received a MyChart bill of $16,205.33.

I would be pissed if I got a $3k bill but it would be a lot more reasonable than this. I can’t afford this at all. I have Anthem health insurance and this was the information on the “receipt”

Billed
$43,356.92

Insurance covered
-$27,151.59

Outstanding balance
$16,205.33

I’m a 23 f and pretty sure I want this! I don’t want kids, and I’m even more certain I never want to be pregnant. I would ideally also get an ablation to help get rid of my debilitating cramps. I have various health issues, and being pregnant would be extra difficult/dangerous for me. I’ve known for a long time I didn’t want to be pregnant or have kids, just worry about doing this “too young” according to some people 😂 So those who also did it young, how do you feel about your decision? And those have done it, any advice for getting it covered by insurance? Or any other tips? Any and all advice welcome. Thanks in advance!

Hii I’m turning 18 this month, literally tomorrow, and I want a laparoscopic total hysterectomy with bilateral salpingectomy. My family has a very long history of cervical and ovarian cancer, not to mention I don’t ever want kids, (I always hear the “you’re young and you’ll change your mind”) but I’m a lesbian and I’d still be able to have kids if I wanted because I’d be keeping my ovaries so I don’t have any hormonal imbalances.

I’ve wanted this done since I was thirteen. I’ve spoken to my mum about this since I was 13, and after I’ve told her that this procedure is minimally invasive, short, I’d still be able to have kids through IVF (which is the only way I ever would have a biological child because pregnancy is absolute body horror to me and I’m repulsed by the thought of feeling something else alive inside of me), she’s been onboard.

Now she’s completely done a 180 and has flipped out on me over the thought of it, but I’m still going to get it done no matter what. I know it’ll very likely take a while to find a good doctor that would be willing to do it for me, and for it to actually be done. So I was hoping for any recommendations in/around NC so I can start looking. ☺️

​Context: Here is my original post.

https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/1t5q5sv/

​Hi everyone! It's been about 4 weeks since my surgery in early May.

​Just for background, I am a 30yo unmarried woman with no underlying medical conditions or major health history.

​Thanks to the incredibly supportive hospital and their top-notch inpatient care, my recovery has been amazingly smooth. I’m already back to light tennis and pilates, and walking 20,000 steps a day is no trouble at all!

​Looking back, I’m confident that my strict pre-op nutrition, physical conditioning, and post-op self-care played a huge role in this quick bounce-back.

​Since medical systems and recovery cultures vary so much worldwide (especially regarding the 2-night inpatient stay vs. outpatient), I’d love to help out the community. I'm open to answering anything based on my experience—whether it’s about the hospital care, my pre-op routine, or how I managed self-care.

​What would you guys like to know most? AMA!

Hello there! I am 26F and I just had my bilateral salpingectomy done today (5/29)! To start, I found my doctor on the childfree list, Dr Kathryn Florence Brown and she was all for it the second I told her I wanted my tubes out. She did ask me if I was sure but told me that was standard practice and they legally have to make sure I understand all of my options. This was back in January and I got scheduled for surgery originally in March. Unfortunately due to some unforeseen circumstances I pushed it back to today’s date. She was very understanding and was able to get me rescheduled. The process I felt was very smooth- preop to surgery to leaving. I had my boyfriend take me for the actual surgery, the nurses and staff were very friendly (they loved that I drive a Miata hehe), and I literally got wheeled out to the operating room… and then I woke up. I remember feeling disappointed because I was like “damn my surgery hasn’t even started yet” but no no. I was in the wake up room at that point! It was done! Now as I’m writing this I’ve been home for approx 5 hours with very minimal pain. Taking my meds like clockwork because my boyfriend has them set as alarms on his phone. They gave me ibuprofen and Tylenol as well as a few oxy but I personally am trying to avoid those if I can. I’ve made a few laps around our house, gone to the bathroom without much ado (with some help from my bf of course) and really the only thing I’m feeling is sore. My throat is sore and my stomach is tender. I’m also having what I’m assuming is gas pain in my upper shoulder area but even that has been manageable thus far. I am so incredibly excited to continue this healing journey and will update as needed where I can (I’m not a huge Reddit user so I’m not quite sure how all this works haha)

Has anyone gone from a bilateral salpingectomy to a partial hysterectomy? If so what was your experience? I got my tubes removed by an absolutely incredible doctor when I was 23 (no major medical issues, just 1000% do not want kids). For a while my periods were totally normal but lately I've been having spotting and cramps, plus I'm still afraid of pregnancy and want to make absolutely sure I'll never get knocked up. I'll be 30 in a few months now but I'm worried insurance wouldn't cover it though.

I'm also curious what the recovery was like for a partial. I have an active job so I'd need time off but I'm not sure how long.

Thanks for any help ❤️

So I just had a four month old baby and she came early and was the NICU for two months. It was a dramatic birth where me and her almost died but we’re here and we’re good. My husband just started his trucking career and is loving it he has a stepson who we have half the year so now we have an eight year-old boy and a four month old girl. Personally after having this baby, I don’t think I can do it anymore because they are a lot of work and money lol.
However, as I get closer to the day, I feel like could I be doing the right thing? I am over 90% sure I don’t want a kid but the only thing that’s making me wanna have one is giving my daughter a sibling. I know she has a half brother, but I feel like if he gets older and chooses to live with his biological mother all the time my daughter would be an only child and that’s the only thing that’s making me wonder do I wanna hold off on the surgery. But at the same time chosen don’t raise children, and if I did have another one, it’ll be able to meet my husband to raise a baby in which me and him both said we don’t wanna do.

I guess I’m wondering if anyone ever went back-and-forth about getting a procedure done or are you just 100% knew you wanted to get it done

The first representative I talked to last week told me the surgery itself was covered 100% but I would have to pay 20% of hospital fees. The representative I just got off the phone with (when I was trying to tell them that the ACA mandates my surgery is covered completely) talked to me like I'm fucking stupid. I confirmed the CPT code and ICD-10 code is correct with the surgery and billing department of the hospital. I also already confirmed the surgeon, hospital, and anesthesia group is in-network. The BCBS lady was saying that my specific plan does not cover this surgery the way I said it did. I kept asking if my plan was ACA compliant and she said it is but kept telling me it's not covered. Hospital wants me to pay $900 before they'll do the surgery. I am very frustrated and am not sure what to do next.

Hallo zusammen, ich habe mich vor 2 Tagen sterilisieren lassen. Ich bin nach wie vor glücklich mit der Entscheidung. Nur frage ich mich, ob es normal ist, dass es mir grade körperlich nicht so gut geht…
Ich hatte die Narkose nicht gut vertragen und mein Blutdruck ist während der OP stark abgesunken. Im Aufwachraum brauchte ich eine Infusion und was gehen Übelkeit und um mein Herz wieder in Schwung zu bringen. Mein Freund brachte mich nach Hause und ich schlief erstmal sehr lange. Am zweiten Tag ging es mir definitiv besser. Ich konnte kochen und mich bisschen bewegen. Klar, Schmerzen waren definitiv da aber aushaltbar. Heute am 3. Tag gehts mir garnicht gut… wie fühle mich wie von einem LKW überfahren und mir tut alles weh. Ich bin komplett erschöpft. Ich weiß nicht, ob es vielleicht an den 30 Grad draußen liegt und mein Kreislauf einfach schwächelt.
Hat jemand von euch Erfahrungen? Wie liefen die Tage bei euch nach der Sterilisation ab?

It’s been one week since my surgery and I feel better each day. Better physically and better emotionally. This was the right decision for me. I feel like a huge burden is gone from me and I am excited for my future childfree life!

If you got your nexplanon out during your procedure, did you have a horrible first period afterwards? I’m on day 2 of the worst period I’ve ever had. For context, my surgery was about 3 weeks ago. I had nexplanon for ~8 years. The cramping these last couple days has me in so much pain I’m considering taking the last couple percocets I have from surgery. The bleeding is so much heavier than I had on nexplanon. If anyone has had a similar experience, when did it get better, if at all, for you?

Hi folks!

I searched the sub and didn't see it come up, so thought I'd ask: does anyone have any stories to share of getting a bisalp with a history of multiple small bowel reactions from IBD/Crohns?

Longer story: I have had two small bowel resections as a result of Crohns disease, first one was in 2008 and second one was in 2021. The second one came out of nowhere and was either mostly or entirely due to scar tissue from the first surgery creating a gradually narrowing obstruction ☹️☹️☹️ this is a common scenario.

Now I want a bisalp for reasons. I've had a couple consultations with a surgeon who specializes in minimally invasive gyn surgery at one of the two major hospital systems in my city (so not some small community hospital). she is ultimately willing to do it if it's what I want, but she did express concern over creating more scar tissue and adhesions in my poor belly. I have reached out to my gastro, who is with a very well respected IBD clinic in a major academic hospital system for his opinion, but I would love to hear from anybody who has personally dealt with this situation. I'm gonna cross post to the IBD or Crohns sub as well. Thank you in advance for any anecdotes/perspectives 💕

Hi! 

I got an estimate for my bisalp procedure I have scheduled for later in June. I have a high deductible insurance plan (5,000 through CIGNA) and my OBGYN is doing the procedure through Yale and not an outpatient place. 

It says the total would be a bit over 24,000 for the hospital fees and the physician fees and that my insurance will cover about 19,000 (enough just to leave me with my current deductible of $4,540).

Then there are two codes below, 58661 for lap.rmv adnexal structure that is $3,785. It says my insurance will fully cover it. The other one is 00840 for Anesth. Lower abdomen for 15 units and $2,775 that my insurance is fully covering.

Does that seem correct?

I knew that having it done through a hospital is more expensive but I also saw lots of people on here saying theirs was essentially free because it's preventive. 

For clarity's sake I'm probably going to have them re do this because my insurance renews in June 1st and so it says I owe my current deductible which is only $4,540 RIGHT NOW, but it's going to revert back to 5,000 by the time I have the surgery.

And this year I've already gotten and IUD (it expelled for the second time...) So I'm wondering if that's also a reason my insurance says they won't cover it as a preventative? Because they already covered a preventative IUD this billing year?

The company I work for does offer me the first 1,000 of my deductible back through an HRA account for the year. But still. 4,000 is a hard swallow

​

Hi, I’ve just had my first consultation (yay!) and was told that after surgery I’ll be given compression stockings and heparin injections. I haven’t really seen many people mention anything like this when describing their procedures, so I was wondering if it’s common? Apparently, my clinic gives them to all patients to help prevent blood clots.

Another thing: my doctor doesn’t perform the surgery if a patient is menstruating (spotting is okay). Unfortunately, they only do the procedure once a month, and of course that happens to line up with my period.

The doctor said patients can take birth control pills or progestogen/gestagen pills to delay their period. Apparently, you’re supposed to start taking the progestogen pills a few days before your period is due in order to delay it.

Is this common? Has anyone here done this? I haven’t really used birth control pills before, so this is all new to me.

I will be seeking actual medical advice from professionals later, but for now I’m just throwing this out here to hear about other people’s experiences.

Also, English isn’t my first language, so apologies for any mistakes!

I'm turning 22 next week and I have just returned from my hospital stay after getting my tubes removed. I have absolutely no one to talk to about how frustrated I am. Every damn time I told anyone that I want to do this, "I don't want kids" is never enough. It's always the easier answer for me, bcs in reality, I do want to have this option, but I chose to go for this procedure bcs I carry a deadly heart disease gene and the only way I can have healthy kids is through IVF and no other forms of birth control suit me well, so this is why I chose to go for this. But I don't really want to keep explaining myself every time I mention this. It's always "why do you not want kids?" "Won't you regret it?" "You are soo young!" BEFORE I even have the chance to tell the real reason, or any kind of reason really. I don't understand why is it so hard to just accept the possibility of not wanting kids. I don't expect people to be educated about this situation, tbf I also didn't know I could get this procedure done and still get pregnant, I just feel so frustrated that I have to keep explaining, bcs simply "I don't want to" is not sufficient enough.

I’m from the UK. Does anyone know how long I’ll be waiting for my actual surgery from the pre-op? What’s the timeframe?

Im turning 20 next month and ive had my eye on a bisalp since i was late 18/early 19 and i dont know if its really the right course of action. I know for certain i dont want kids (and have since i was 16), and i dont want to be pregnant even more than not wanting kids so it seems like the right decision but im still extremely young and the "you'll change your mind" crowd gets to me sometimes.

I know that if i want children in the future (HUGE if) there are other ways of achieving this and i dont care if the kid is biologically mine so adoption seems like a good option because there are also so many kiddos that need homes. Along with this, ivf options are still available since i would still have my uterus. I'd just love some input from those who have had a bisalp in their early 20s whether its a regret or not.

Edit: After reading all the replies i have made the decision to go with it, i will be on BC for a while before while i go through the process of requesting the surgery and it may take 1-2 years once its scheduled before i can get it done because wait times in Canada are horrible lol but thank you all so much for the responses 🫶 i’m looking forward to my future childfree life!!