I’m looking for some honest perspectives.

I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ll likely be divorced by the time I’m 31. I come from a cultural background and immigrated to US when I was 22 for my higher educational and then got my citizenship here , in ethnic backgrounds where divorce is often seen as a big deal, and even though I live in the U.S. now, I think some of those beliefs are still stuck in my head. (Years of ppl telling women that marriage and kids are the end goal). I’m Indian and married a white man and ofc relatives are like “if she would have chose someone ethnically maybe he wouldn’t have walked out’ (my ex cheated on me)

For those who are dating in their 30s: is being divorced actually viewed as a red flag? Do you feel like it significantly limits your dating options, or is it just much more common and accepted than I think?

Part of me worries that people will see me as having “baggage” or assume something is wrong with me because my marriage didn’t work out. Another part of me wonders if I’m just carrying around cultural shame that doesn’t reflect how most people actually think.

I’d love to hear from single people who have dated someone who was divorced. Has it mattered to you?

I boarded my cat with a rover sitter for twelve days for a trip, it cost me ~$700 but I know he does badly entirely on his own so opted to go for it. I left him there with this litter robot and brought a trash bag that fits the tray and asked if she could change the tray in a week, she said sure and mentioned she has the same trash bags. I get there after twelve days and as I’m carrying the robot out she offhandedly mentions “oh I didn’t change the tray yet,“ I had just had a full day of travel and was just like oh ok, no worries, and left. Two days later she messages me asking if I can leave her a review, and I keep getting stuck on the tray :/ my little guy is so low maintenance, she said so herself, and considering she didn’t have to scoop a single time and then seeing the state/smell of the tray when I came back I found disappointing when it was not cheap and was kind of the only maintenance he needed. I’m grateful he was cared for and healthy but am I overreacting to be irked when someone says they’ll do something and then doesn’t even do it on day 12 for the appearance of following through? The robot was definitely a day max from stopping cycling with how full it was and I know my cat hates when it stinks too so I’m kind of disappointed

I used to pay my boyfriend 160 a month for gas bc he picks me up often to/from work and home(I dont have a car). Earlier today he asked me to go out to eat bc hes craving something okay cool we're going out. I later tell him this month I'm not going to rely on him and find other ways like uber.
Then he calls me back later, in summary he doesn't want to give me rides anymore at all because i'm not paying him.
I get upset like aren't YOU taking me out on a date. He's super adamant on it though
Am I reasonably upset or just over reacting?

edit: I didn't expect this to get a lot of traction 🌞, I should clarify I only paid him 160 last month for may. I didn't really pay gas before and if I did it would be every other month or so 140; he didn't want money for gas back then so he never pushed it until it got more expensive. we usually split the bill when we go out.

i got my nails done on friday because i wanted to get something strong on them to grow them out. i do my own gel nails, and they never break, chip, or fall off.

as seen in the messages, i went to get sns because i don’t have the supplies for it. i paid $73 with a $27 tip.

the gel chipped and yesterday i went in to get that fixed. they did it for free.

today, two nails fell off entirely.

i called them, my boyfriend called them (he paid for them), and my mom called them (long term client)

every time, we requested a refund, they kept pushing for me to come in and get them redone.

i saw that in google reviews, people requested refunds and the owner responded telling them to text the number for a refund. so i texted the number.

they are still refusing a refund. am i asking for too much or am i right that it’s unusual for nails to fall off and chip within the first five days??

Am I overreacting, or is this inappropriate?

I’m a 26-year-old female radiology student doing clinical rotations at a hospital. One of the CT techs at my site is also a professor at a nearby university. He’s around 50 years old and knows a lot of people in the imaging field.

I’ve never flirted with him, shown interest, or given any indication that I wanted anything other than a professional relationship. I’m also in a long-term relationship.

Recently, he pulled me aside when we were alone and told me that he “loves to see me,” that he’s “always looking at me,” and that he’s “going to get in trouble for the way he looks at me.”

The whole thing caught me completely off guard. I didn’t know what to say, and I just felt really uncomfortable. What makes it harder is that he’s well-connected professionally, and I’m worried that if I reject him or report it, it could somehow affect my future opportunities or make clinicals awkward.

Part of me feels like I should tell my clinical instructor and ask to be moved to another area. Another part of me wonders if I’m making too much of it since he didn’t explicitly ask me out. I just don’t want to reject him and he kind of bad mouths me to the surrounding hospitals .

Am I overreacting? What would you do in this situation?

I (M23) have been going out with my girlfriend (F21) for seven months or so. Before we met, she'd planned to go travelling around Europe for three months from May to August with three friends from university (two guys and a girl). A long break like this isn't ideal so early on, but I was never going to prevent her plans.

She's been gone for about two weeks and seems to be having a great time. We have been FaceTiming roughly every three days and messaging in-between that.

However, when we spoke yesterday and were catching up on what she'd been doing, she told me that the previous night, they all went skippy dipping. I was kind of caught off guard and asked for a few more details. In effect, they were all at a secluded beach, had a few drinks and as they didn't have any swimwear, went skinny dipping for a bit, splashed around and then went back.

I told her it made me uncomfortable and that she shouldn't be casually naked around other guys when in a relationship. She responded that I was being ridiculous and that it wasn't sexual; they were simply having fun and it was the "freedom of travelling". She called me a jerk for thinking that being naked "has to be a sexual act" and that there was no touching or anything of the sort involved.

I doubled down and said it wasn't appropriate and would rather she didn't going forward. She called me a controlling jerk and we haven't spoken since then.

In my eyes, she's an attractive girl surrounded by two single guys (and one who she had a short fling with a few years ago) and they would have obviously been checking her out. I don't expect her to cover up and don't care that she wears skimpy bikinis around them but I also feel it's reasonable to feel she's overstepped a boundary.

AIO and should apologize?

I'm already aware that I have an anxious attachment style with a fluctuation of avoidance in and out, so I don't know if it's me but I can't shake this feeling of fear bordering on paranoia.

My boyfriend, has had hygiene issues that have bothered me as well as generally not seeming to care about his appearance. I never minded outside of the hygiene but now, he's dressing nicer and bought a privacy screen for his phone, showers regularly and is wearing cologne when he goes to work. He told me the privacy screen was because of porn but we've been together 2 years now and it just seems weird to me accompanied with everything else. He said him taking better care of himself is just because he's happier

We had a talk and he said all the right things. It settled me down a little bit but I still felt a lingering fear in the background, then today he told me he bought product for his hair and it sent me into a spiral again because.... it just seems very sudden for him to be this invested in his appearance. If the privacy screen didn't happen at the same time, Idk if I would be freaking out like this.

Edit: For context. I've made it known that I'm fine with him watching porn since the beginning of our relationship. As for kinks, I've been open about my past porn addiction and "out there" kinks from the beginning as well, so unless he's watching porn at his new job, idk why things would be suddenly needing to be kept secret from me. I also don't pay attention to his phone or what he does on it because I thought everything was fine. I'm only concerned about it now because all of a sudden 2 years in, you need a privacy screen for porn we've already established I'm okay with?

I’m honestly shaking while typing this because I feel so stupid.

I (28F) have been best friends with “Maya” (29F) since college. For the last three years, she’s been struggling financially at least that’s what she told me. She lost her job during the pandemic, bounced between part-time gigs, and was constantly stressed about rent and bills.

I make decent money. Not rich, but stable. Over time, I started helping her out. At first it was small things covering dinner, grabbing groceries for her place. Then it escalated.

When she couldn’t make rent one month, I lent her $800. She paid back $200 and said she’d get the rest later. Later never came. After that, it became normal for me to float her money “just until payday.” I paid her phone bill more than once. I added her to my streaming accounts. I covered a weekend trip because she “really needed a break.”

About a year ago, her car broke down. She cried in my kitchen saying she didn’t know how she’d get to work. I co-signed on a used car loan for her because she said she had no one else.

I’ve probably given or fronted her around $12–15k total over three years. I never kept exact track because she was my best friend. I figured if the roles were reversed, she’d help me.

Fast forward to last weekend. We were at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Maya had too much to drink and started talking loudly about “finally meeting with the financial advisor about the trust.” I thought she was joking. I asked her what trust.

She went pale.

Apparently, her grandfather passed away four years ago and left her and her siblings a significant inheritance. Not “a little savings.” I’m talking high six figures. The money has been sitting in a managed trust that she gets access to in stages, but she’s already been receiving quarterly payouts for the past two years.

Two. Years.

While I was paying her rent.

When I confronted her the next day, she said she didn’t lie she just “didn’t feel comfortable talking about family money.” She claimed the trust felt “untouchable” and that she didn’t want to dip into it for everyday expenses because it’s “for her future.” She said she was technically cash-poor month-to-month, so my help was still valid.

I asked her why she let me co-sign a car loan if she literally has access to investment accounts. She said it was easier and she didn’t want to deal with paperwork.

I feel completely manipulated. It’s not about her having money good for her. It’s that she watched me sacrifice savings, delay a vacation, and stress about my own budget while she had a financial safety net the entire time.

I told her I need space and that I’m considering speaking to a lawyer about getting my name off the car loan. She cried and said I’m blowing this up and acting like she “scammed” me when I offered to help.

Now some of our friends are saying inheritance is complicated and that I shouldn’t feel entitled to her family money. I don’t feel entitled to it. I just feel deceived, i wouldn't keep such information from her and idk if i'm stupid for expecting her to do thesame.

AIO for cutting her off over this?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a few months. He has a female friend he’s known for about two years. Her current boyfriend is his best friend and they play in a band together, so we’re all around each other a lot. They met through her current boyfriend.

The friendship seems unusually intense to me. He’s in her will, jokes about getting custody of the kids if she dies (she’s even put that in her will), buys gifts for her children when he travels, and has become involved in various legal issues surrounding her life to the point he’s been dragged into court-related matters and investigated. She is currently battling for full custody of the kids with baby daddy number two.

None of the children belong to her current boyfriend (my boyfriend’s best friend). The fathers are from previous relationships and, according to everyone involved, have caused a lot of problems over the years.

What makes me struggle more is that she’s never been particularly welcoming towards me. When she first met me she warned me not to “take him away from her.” On another occasion she drunkenly told me to go and fuck myself. She also accused me of being after his money despite me having a successful career and assets of my own.

She also seems to create a lot of drama and emergencies. One example was when one of her children supposedly had an emergency and my boyfriend ended up late for dinner with me because she needed his help. It later turned out she mainly wanted him to catch a rabbit she’d accidentally let out into the garden.

To be fair to my boyfriend, when I’ve raised concerns he’s been very understanding. He agrees we’ve spent too much time in his world, has been making an effort to spend more time in mine, and hasn’t dismissed my feelings.

My questions are:

Would this level of involvement with a friend of only two years make you uncomfortable?

Would her behaviour towards me be a red flag?

Am I being unfair because I simply don’t like her?

Does this sound like a normal close friendship, or does it sound emotionally over-involved?

How can I protect myself and my boyfriend at this time?

I’d like to think of myself as a pretty reasonable person, I have no intention of taking him out of her and the kids lives, but this level of involvement is affecting our peace and the amount of fun we have together. I love him but I want a better life for us. It always seems to revolve around her and her latest dramatic situation.

I am 16 almost 17 and I jsut started working at a restaurant in a small texas town as a day cook, I show up early every morning and wait for the boss to open, it was me and my boss alone prepping for breakfast waiting for others to show up, I was wearing jeans and a tank top because it gets extremely hot and theres no ac in the kitchen, he looks me up and down and says "did ypu bring a shirt to work in?" I said no this is what im wearing he proceeds to say "can you have somebody bring yoy a shirt? We have to have sleeves." I say yes and pull out my phone to call my ma and he looks me uo and down again and says "you know I like it because im a guy." He is 57 and I am 16. I walk away feeling weirded out and call my mom, then I go to clock in and he walks behind me taking a picture of me and says "to make fun of you later." I awkwardly say no thank you and walk to the back continuing to prep until my mom gets there. When she does ai get a bit emotional and call my dad who speaks to the boss who acts innocent and then apologizes saying he had no idea it made me uncomfortable. After a few minutes of calming down I came back and asked for the rest of the day off and told him I will speak to him in the morning.

What should I do, quit or stay? Am I overreacting?

I (29 F) am traveling with my fiancé (31 NB) abroad right now, we just got engaged a few days ago but have been together for several years. I know their family well, and we spend a lot of time together.

My MIL is at our house watching the place and our animals while we’re away. She has been cleaning, which we told her not to worry about doing but she did ask beforehand and had permission, so that’s not the issue. She did replace my bed set, moved blankets and pillows around to the guest rooms, etc. Did not love that, but I figured that with the permission she was given and with all the work she was doing, I was happy to play along and express gratitude and then quietly put things back where I wanted them if needed.

However, we called to check in and she let us know she had made an “executive decision” to purchase more silverware and move it to a different drawer in my kitchen. She specifically said she would not go into any drawers or move things in drawers around, so that bothered me. The convo went like this~

My fiancé called my MIL to chat and get updates. She mentioned going to the store to get more silverware and that she had made an executive decision about it. I asked her, in a non-joking serious tone, what the decision had been. She told me while laughing that she moved our silverware, and I responded immediately in a flat tone that I’ll be moving it back, and said nothing else in the conversation until they hung up. Things did feel a little tense after that, but honestly, I think she was uncomfortable because I wasn’t willing to act like that was okay. I don’t think it is.

My fiancé feels the same, as MIL also went into their car and cleaned it and said they would be “talking about the mess” when we got back. In my mind, the only conversation that needs to be had between these two adults in serious boundaries. It’s a strange dynamic that I admittedly don’t know of because I am not close with my own parents. Am I overreacting by responding the way I did?

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and for the entire relationship, we’ve always both worked full time jobs. I’m a teacher, which can be a high stress job at times due to behaviors, teaching and managing a classroom of little kids. My husband makes a lot more than me and we could afford to just live on his income.

I’m currently pregnant with our 3rd child and during both previous pregnancies, I’ve worked up until the end. It was uncomfortable and I didn’t want to do that, but he wanted me to work until the end. With this pregnancy, he expects me to work the entire time with no time off before birth.

The summer is coming up and most teachers will take time during the summer to relax and spend time with family, which is what I wanted to do. My husband wants me to find a summer job and won’t let me stay home to relax. He says that I will just “sit around all day” and not help him with anything, which isn’t true because I will be with our kids all summer.

My husband doesn’t have the provider mentality and refuses to be the only one working. He has said that if he has to work, then I do too, regardless of income. When I said I didn’t want to work during the summer, he got mad and said he won’t pay for any of my necessities with “his money” and I need my own money to pay for my own things.

I’m not sure if I’m just being emotional because of pregnancy hormones but it really upset me and made me cry. I haven’t spoken to him much in the past couple days. AIO??

I (F22) and Crimson (T/T21) lived together with a third roommate (F22) in another house at the beginning of the year. In January Crimson came to us two and mentioned that they were going to apply to government housing, which would have left me and the third roommate in a bind where we could no longer afford the house we were staying in, therefore we ultimately decided to all three split ways at the end of our lease that ended on April 15th, 2026.

While the other two made their own plans to move, my boyfriend David (23M) and I decided that we liked the complex I live in so we applied to transfer units which would have pushed the entire houses move out date to March 24th. When this came to light Crimson came to us and told us that they were denied housing, had recently lost their job, and our third roommate could not accommodate to have them move with her, so my bf and I offered a spare room to Crimson on the basis that they pay us $350 a month in rent while they look for a more affordable place to live.

The houses I live in have a policy in their lease that says rent is due on the first of every month, late on the 5th ($150 late fee), and eviction on the 15th- no partial payments. Crimson over the last 6 months has routinely had their rent late for various reasons- some within their control and some not- and former roommate and I have had to cover for them a lot. My bf and I decided that in offering them a place to have them pay a fixed rate of $350USD. We feel as if this is fair because it is far below what a third of staying in the house would cost split evenly and it also provides space for them to save for their own place.

Crimson landed a job where they make considerably more money than they used to and has expressed to us that they have now started to look more sincerely for a place to move (stated to us last week on Monday 5/25/2026) in which we were excited for them. They came to us and said that they were looking at a 1B/1BA apartment running for $950USD plus a few utilities putting their monthly cost at around $1000USD monthly. While David and I silently glanced at each other as the previous month of May's $350 was not paid in full, we congratulated them on their findings and hoped they got approved.

Here is where things get tricky. I drive a 2003 Lincoln town car that looks like it is straight out of a hood classic and has recently died out on me (R.i.p toes you will be missed). Last Wednesday I was sitting in the car dealership looking at rates and such with my bf when we found a car exactly what I was looking for and for a pretty affordable price. Before I committed to the purchase, I texted Crimson to ask if they would have their rent on time and in full because that would determine if we could swing the downpayment or if we should wait another week if we were going to have to budget an extra $350 for rent this month (bf and I both get paid weekly on Fridays) in which Crimson responded with an enthusiastic yes to having it on time and in full. With their yes, I proudly drove home my new car without the worry of affordability.

Fast forward to two days later on Friday, Crimson comes to us and says that they are moving out before June 1st (Monday) and will not be paying rent at all for June because they used their rent money for a security deposit on their new findings and "figured we would be fine without it". With this being said, I was left in a panic because that means not only would we be stuck with finding the $350, but we would also have to find the $150 late fee plus most of the utilities are typically due the first week of the month.

My personal issue with this is that I specifically asked them if they would have their part of the rent on time and in full and was very transparent about why I was asking so if they had any doubt then I could plan for that. I feel like I have been very open and honest in communication with them about the situation. Any other month or even week we would have been able to accommodate this but with three days till bills are due to tell us you aren't going to be contributing puts us in a bit of a bind.

Attached is the text chain between Crimson and I within the last week about the situation. Included in this chain is them comparing our financial situations, telling us they are moving out, asking to stay until June 8th without paying rent, and generally finding any excuse to make it to where we shouldn't be charging them anything. This chain leads all the way up to present day (June 2nd) where they've sent me $75 and still arguing about how much they should have to pay.

\*\*extra info\*\*
These are things I don't think matter in the scenario but you might:

Crimsons new job makes (17/hr 35-40hrs/week)

David makes $27/hr 72 hrs/week

I make 8/hr 25-30hrs/week

Included in Crimson's rent comes a room, bathroom, kitchen (always stocked with essentials and snacks), pet fee, utilities, wifi, and in house laundry unit for the fixed rate of $350USD.

David and I believe the feeling of being "unwelcome" has derived from a mild interaction where we asked Crimson to please not have their guests stay at the house when they are not present. (I.E., having a guest stay in their bedroom while they leave for work for 6+ hours)

I am limited in my work schedule because I am a full time university student that also undo goes continuous treatment for cancer, so $350 is a lot for me to try and budget around.

David's brother came over one night and bought us Chinese takeout?

With this being said- AIO for demanding June rent and being upset about how i've been affected?

So my twin sister has a boyfriend i hate. he has no personality and has cheated on her. this is important context because i may be letting my feelings about him affect my view on this specific situation.

he has a golden retriever. he’s built his retriever a dog box/kennel thing out of wood and chicken wire. it’s raised off the ground about two feet. i’d guess it’s about 7 feet long and 4 feet wide. he keeps a bowl of water and a bowl of food and a dog bed inside. his golden retriever is kept in this kennel 24/7 except for being let out for 30ish minutes to run around maybe 1-2 times a week. he poops and pees in the box. he keeps a heater in it when it’s cold. my sisters boyfriend often isn’t home to let him out, and spends the night away from home.

my sister got really angry with me when i suggested he was mistreating his dog. her argument was that here in the south, there are thousands of hunting dogs who are kept in similar if not worse conditions. that’s just normal here. it’s also not abnormal to have a completely outside dog around here, with no shelter.

i want to know if i am being dramatic and looking for another reason to dislike him? or if this is really as sad as it seems to me.

for some background: a few months ago, my boyfriend was talking about proposing bc he feels ready to move onto that next level. for me, every box is checked minus the fact that i feel like i can never let my guard down around him. i did address this with him and mentioned that i would save it for later bc i would rather not embarrass either of us when ik i’m gonna have to say no due to that area not being met. he agreed to work on it and that’s that.

the time between then and now (6 months), i’ve seen no progress and more has happened. there was a situation where a lady hit me with her car while i was parked in a lot and, as i was checking the damages, she came up to me with her phone saying things like “look at her checking for tiny damages just to get my money”, “don’t damage my car now”, and “you’re crazy”. while all of this was happening, he didn’t say anything. i did try to ask for the woman’s name and insurance but she just kept yelling random things. it’s more frustrating bc he was complaining about her actions after the fact and told me that i should’ve never asked for her info bc she could always “cut out her yelling at me and only show me asking for her info”. idk, that doesn’t make sense. i talked about this with my friend and she said it’s probably bc the person involved was a woman and he didn’t want to get into it bc that might make him look bad since it’s “man vs woman” if he said anything.

i understood that but then on sunday, some woman flicked off his mom in a parking lot and he went straight towards her car. however, as he was walking towards her, she kept driving away. even with her driving away, he kept trying to approach her bc he wanted to confront her. he ended up not confronting her bc she drove out of the parking lot and left, but i’ve never seen him so upset before. like he was cursing up a storm and very angry.

there’s obviously more that has happened than these situations. i once had a campus stalker a few years ago and that resulted in being followed to my car. then there are a few situations where i had a few guys approach me in a very creepy way at my job and he would just sit there and watch. in certain situations, i would purposely raise my voice when i would say “i have a boyfriend” and do a hand motion to get him to come over but he wouldn’t do anything. he admitted that he just wants to see what i say. sometimes he’d be like “i feel like you could’ve said this instead”. then i remember one time a waitress was so beyond rude to me at this restaurant we went to and he was like “she wasn’t doing anything bad. it’s probably just how she talks”. stuff like that just makes me feel like my feelings are invalid.

we had a convo about everything and he said that he just never wants to get involved bc he doesn’t want things to escalate so he just lets me handle it bc nobody will escalate situations with a woman. it just makes me feel sm more stressed out but idk if this is me overreacting and not being understanding of his side or what.

my mom and i (20F) share a dentist. i just had an appointment with my dentist and i swear she knew things about me that i’ve never told her.

my mom doesn’t really like my boyfriend necessarily because they got off on the wrong foot, but he’s an amazing person and i truly love him so much.

but my dentist today goes “be careful of who you choose to be with” like ???

yes she could have just been saying that.. but my mom just had an appointment with her last week and i’m fairly certain that my mom was ranting about me to our dentist and tried to get the dentist to talk some sense into me.

i could be overreacting, but that pissed me off. it’s not her place to tell me who i can and cannot date. he’s a good person, but she won’t give my boyfriend a chance.

(my mom also loved my ex-boyfriend, but he was NOT the man for me.. she won’t let him go when i’ve clearly moved on & found new love)

AIO??

I work in a community where parking is a problem.

Our office building has assigned parking which is controlled only through parking passes.

Our office has 3 parking stalls, but has approximately 6 people that will utilize the parking throughout the week.

We have communicated with the building manager and their stance has always been that they don't require use of the parking pass, but will start our Tennant process for marking / warning / citing / towing cars upon a complaint that someone is parked incorrectly.

Our stalls for the purpose are 23 / 24 / 25.

I mistakenly parked in stall 26.

I came out of the office at the end of the day and found my car gone.

Called the office manager and they stated that they had .y car towed, and not followed the tenant agreement because they " were getting yelled at."

I have no citations/ warnings / or attempts to have my car moved for parking incorrectly.

I got my car from the tow company (~1,500$ USD, yes check your local laws this is expensive and exorbitant but legal because legislature capture sucks)

My company is working with the building manager to "make it right" and I have basically stated that I will initiate a small claim against the building management next week to cover the costs should I not get made whole.

I expect to charge the tow cost and approximately 5 hours of lost productivity because of this.

Question:

Am I over reacting?

My fiance got in a wreck earlier this week in my car - the other driver was at fault and luckily nobody was hurt. The car is drivable but not street legal (no drivers side mirror), and I am working through insurance claims.

I had to leave town for work the day after the wreck, and specifically said multiple times that I didn't want the car driven until it is repaired, as it is unsafe to drive without the mirror and the dangling parts could do more damage. The next day I see on camera that he took the car out for 2 hours. When I texted him about it, he said it looked like it might rain and he didn't want to pay for multiple Ubers to run errands.

I am livid about this and plan to take away his key to the car until further notice. We had quite a nasty text argument - he thinks I'm being ridiculous and overly cautious, I think he can't be trusted to follow my rules for my car. AIO?

Some backstory: a close family member died suddenly and unexpectedly recently in their 60s of a gastrointestinal hemorrhage. Just found him in the morning dead in his bed. They have never had any previous gastrointestinal issues or complaints.
They were a successful former business owner that retired in the past couple years and was married for 50 years.

In recent months he had been speaking about wanting to let their cleaning lady go who had been working and living in their home for the past couple years. I want to note this person taking care of their home was long time friends with his wife since high school. A week before he died he fired her but offered to continue to house her and pay her for the next 6 months until she found her next gig. A couple days later she and all trace of her was gone from her living quarters. She didn’t say anything to them, didn’t leave a note, and still to this day nobody knows where she is. And then less than a week after she left, he died.

I am suspicious because of the circumstances leading up to it but also of what happened after regarding his wife. Some more background: he and his wife got together when he was 14 and she was 25, it was back in the 70s. His mother always disliked her for this particular reason and they never got over that. His wife has always had a somewhat rocky relationship with our side of the family as well. In more recent years they had been staying in separate bedrooms in their house, they’re older so not that weird I guess, but I noted that.

However, he was a successful businessman with a lot of assets and he had stated multiple times to multiple family members that he had a will. Come now a week after he’s passed, there is no will to be found. Additionally, since he passed suddenly, multiple family members wanted an autopsy to be done. His wife ultimately refused the autopsy and was very adamantly against it.

Most recently, what really rubbed me the wrong way was something that she said 2 days after he died. I am getting married this year, a family member on her side was visiting and she said to them “You’re going to be my plus 1 to the wedding now.” Obviously I am offended by that because that isn’t how that works but more importantly it stuck out to me because your husband (my blood) just died in a horrific and unexpected way and you’re talking about your backup plus 1. At the very least, it felt like very inappropriate timing. This just REALLY rubbed me the wrong way and made me start to think about why she is acting weird. I started to wonder if she and her friend could have possibly been involved in his demise somehow. I feel really guilty about wondering that but it’s really eating at me. Is she just grieving in a weird way and I am overreacting or am I right to be a little suspicious given all the circumstances?

I’m having a really intense internal battle over this and feel bad for even thinking that it could be possible someone hurt him on purpose and that someone else could possibly be helping to cover it up. Is there anything I can do? Am I overreacting?

So I’ll try to keep this short and easy to understand, but it’s a bit long winded. I really need some unbiased opinions on this situation because I feel like my friends no longer respect me and I’m wondering if I’m better off just forgetting about them.

Couple weeks ago, my close friend asked if I wanted to go for a meal the following week, and then said he’d message the group chat with others in to drum up a bit of interest. He did so, asking “Shall we go for dinner next Friday or Saturday?”, and then I replied “Yeah sure” to get the ball rolling in the chat. In the end, only 2 people replied saying they couldn’t make it because of XYZ. I didn’t hear anything more about the plan and assumed it was off since my friend didn’t say anything more about it.

The next Saturday at 15:00ish I get a message off my friend who was organising the plan saying “Do you mind if we move the meal to 18:00 rather than 17:00?” To which I replied, “what?” And then went on to say I hadn’t heard anything more about the meal and assumed it was off, and that I went for food the day before and so didn’t want to spend more money, plus I had plans that had been cemented. I then called my friend to clarify what was going on. He told me that he spoke with 2 other friends and arranged for Saturday at 17:00 for the meal, but this was not communicated to me at any point. He then said “You should have asked about the plan” to which I replied “when you organise a birthday party, do you just wait for people to turn up or do you give them a date and time and then invite them?” And after-which he seemed frustrated. He then went on to message my best friend about this (since my best friend was one of the people he invited in person or through direct message), and said “XXXX has forgotten about the plan and now says he can’t make it” (which as mentioned before, I was never even told about the plans). They both seemed frustrated at me. I then called my best friend and explained the situation. He understood, but then said the misunderstanding was also my fault as well as my friends. I didn’t understand how it was, since I said the onus would have been on my friend to invite me to the plan he was organising. We then went on to reorganise the plan a bit later and to a slightly different and cheaper spot, which both my close friend and best friend seemed happy enough with. Then one of the other people who was invited dropped out. My close friend then became angry, said something along the lines of “fuck this, I’m not coming out, and I won’t come out after 👍🏻”. I asked him why not and that me and best friend still want to go. To this he didn’t reply. He then didn’t speak to me for a week.

The next week (following Saturday) he said to my best friend that he was going to “try talking to me again” as if I had been the one that was in the wrong or angry. My best friend still maintained that it was both our faults, and I think that was to keep him from having to pick a side tbh. There was another social gathering planned, that my close friend and I both attended. He made glances and smiles at me, but didn’t really attempt to talk to me or pull me into a conversation. I was expecting an apology for the way he acted tbh. It didn’t happen. The next day my best friend asked how it all went, and I told him I was expecting him to talk to me and apologise for ignoring me and how he reacted at me and blamed me for something that I feel was his fault. I also said I reject his (my best friends) opinion on how it was both our faults and believe it to be entirely his (my close friends) fault that the problem occurred. My best friend read and ignored my message. Neither of them have spoken to me since and they have both just carried on as normal since. However, in another group chat with just us 3 in, my close friend invited both of us to a film - all the while my close friend hasn’t said more than a word to me since the previous Saturday, and hasn’t text me at all. It’s like the issue has just blown over for them both and I’m not getting an apology, while I feel disrespected and like I’m owed an apology for the way it went off. I know that if roles were reversed in our friend group, I would get the shit ripped out of me about it for a good while and most likely would be made to apologise.

Sorry that this is so long, I may have missed details, or some things may not make sense. If you need any more details or clarity, just let me know and I can try to explain it better.

Bit of context, my fiancé (30M) and I (29F) were together for nearly 10 years, engaged for 2 years. We bought a place together not long before he proposed. I had a very sick parent at the time who wound up passing away so we did not immediately move in to our place but eventually did. I wasn’t aware until I was grieving that he had held a lot of resentment against me for every little thing for the past 10 years. Some things that I just never knew, some things I already apologized for and changed, some things that were completely fabricated. Eventually he ghosted me for a bit and asked for a break over the phone. We met in person and he said a lot of hurtful things so I gave back my ring.

Since then there has been a lot of confusion for me. He drives a car only in his name that is paid for entirely by my LOC, he had stopped paying our mortgage and other shared bills for 2 cycles without even letting me know (I later found out he lost his job) and now he kinda pays his portion of the bills when he can and pulls my money out when he needs (always puts it back). Right now I have offered to buy him out. We actually have negative equity right now but I still wanted to give him a fair amount of cash. Unfortunately that cash is offset by the money he now owes me. He is basically trying to force me to rent the place for a year so that he can get himself situated with his life and his schooling that he starts soon. He said it would benefit me as well but then went back and said again that it’s a necessity because I have more support than he does.

He’s been saying in this terrible person and taking no accountability and quite frankly I just want to move on with my life. AIO for refusing rent out our place for a year and paying him cash to take the property on alone? My goal is to separate finances and move forward.

Yesterday he called me on the phone. First he starts pestering me about a guy from several months ago I had nothing with. I get pissed and start defending myself. Then he says he's on the toilet and wishes he could send me the smell through the phone? I found that disrespectful and I get more upset. He's done it before, trying to fart in my face, rubbing his hand then trying to touch me, just nasty fart/poop jokes as if im his little brother. I tell him that Im upset and hes been treating me bad and Ive been tolerating it but I am not gonna do it anymore cause everytime he calls me I expect him to pester me about something or say something insulting. I told him I dont feel like a woman in this relationship because this is not a way to treat a partner. He "apologized" but it sounded vague and he kept on joking and sending me kissy faces. I honestly found the entire thing immature and as if he is purposely disrespecting me. He gets mad and hangs up on me. Eventually I blocked him.

Am I too sensitive/overreacting? It might've been just a joke and I should've taken it that way but I this behavior just made me lose attraction. He's never been like this.

Names have been changed due to privacy.

Backstory: My Uncle Luis has 3 siblings. He worked for his sister, (my Aunt Tori), for +20 years. Aunt Tori has a great amount of wealth. She owns her own successful business. All this time, Aunt Tori paid Uncle Luis a non-living wage, and she didn't give any insurance/benefits to him or his family. He provided for his wife, his daughter, and his 5 grandchildren. They would lose electricity all the time and they barely had money for groceries. Uncle Luis was the most hardworking/funniest person I've ever known and he deserved way better than this.

Uncle Luis recently passed away due to a heart attack. He was in a coma while on life support for 3-4 days.

On Day 1 of his coma, the Neurologist came to talk to our family. She asked Aunt Tori how she was related to Uncle Luis. To which she replied, "He worked for me. That's my brother." WTF why was this her first thought that he worked for her??

Later that same day, we asked if his work team was made aware of the situation, to which his nephew responded: "this is a private, family matter." Please note, Uncle Luis led his team for 20 years, they saw him more than his own family did. At one point, Uncle Luis gave up his vacation time because he needed the money.

Uncle Luis' wife made the decision to have him cremated. However, his three siblings got upset because they weren't burying him where his parents are buried. Mind you, their parents have been dead for 6+ years and none of them bought them a tombstone.

We were told that the hospital would be turning off the machines on Tuesday. Every family member was made aware of this, including Uncle Luis' three siblings. Tuesday morning rolls around, and none of his siblings or his sibling's children were there. None of them ever showed up. They missed the prayer in his room, the final goodbyes, and the honor walk through the hospital before he donated his organs.

Hours after his passing, Aunt Tori's son, the same nephew from before, was contacting other family members, trying to get his work phone and other work-related belongings.

All of them are now spreading misinformation about how he died, trying to frame it as a drug overdose. He was found with substance in his system (wasn't a surprise), but the hospital did not state the drugs as a factor or catalyst for the heart attack. Mind you, Aunt Tori and the rest of them partake in drugs as well. But nobody mentions that. Uncle Luis died from something 100% avoidable. But he didn't have healthcare or the money to afford a doctor's appointment. And he was employed by HIS SISTER! On-top of this, they had the balls to no-show at his final moments on this earth.

I am doing everything I can not to blow up right now. I am absolutely livid.

AIO for losing my mind and not being able to fathom this level of disrespect and also wanting to curse everyone out?

TL;DR: Uncle was taken off life support and none of his siblings were there or have supported his widowed wife. They continue to talk crap/ spread rumors about him even after he has passed.

My husband and I have been together for 5 years, 2 years married. We have a 1.5 year old.

During dating, my husband struggled with growing up. He never really had a real relationship, he was cheated on, and there were substance abuse issues. All around I don’t think he understood what having a mature relationship met. Also, when he was 21, his dad died and years prior he found out his mom cheated, so he turned to alcohol and didn’t really have a good example of marriage.

When we met, I didn’t know his past and that’s okay because it’s his past. I never truly understood his unhealthy relationship with alcohol until we dated longer. He always had an issue with cutting himself off. It wasn’t until we had a cookout and he drank so much with his friends he went to bed without helping me clean up the party and left everything to me. The next day I told him he had to get himself together if he wanted a future with me. He went sober for 2 years. Within that timeframe we got married and had a baby. Shortly after our baby, he started moderately drinking again, or so I thought. 6 months after our baby was born, I found him hiding liquor in his work area. That led to me leaving for a few days with our kid.

When I returned, we had a deep conversation where I went though his bank statements and showed him how deep he fell off when he started back up. Almost two years later, he hasn’t had a slip up and drinks a few drinks if he does drink, most times he doesn’t. We now have a breathalyzer in the house and he told me to check him anytime. He feels deep regret and admits this was the wake up call he needed to grow up.

Our life has been the best it’s been. I feel like I have my husband back and he actually does work to regain my trust and show me he wants to be the best version of himself and for his family. I don’t doubt that.

Unfortunately, anytime he has plans with his friends (same ones years ago at the party) I feel incredibly uncomfortable and let myself worry that he’s going to screw up and fall back off the wagon. It leads to an argument as I express my feelings towards his friends and them being a bad influence, and now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting since he’s been showing improvement for years and he’s hung out with these same guys and nothing has happened, but yet my mind still struggles. He constantly reminds me that it doesn’t matter what others do, it’s how he acts. I feel like I handled this poorly as my husband told me he feels like he has a wife who is putting him down when he’s has been showing me change and growth and I’m setting us back.

Edit: to add that prior to finding the alcohol, he admitted to drinking and driving after work, drinking in the vehicle, sneaking booze into the house, hiding it and then drinking it when I went to bed. All while I was a few months post pregnancy. He said he put his toes in the water to see how he could handle drinking again and he got carried away.

AIO

these texts are for what my brother texted me

I'll just attach my diary entry here

"​I have yet arrived with more complaints. When was the last time i got a device that was new? in 8th grade. Now im about to go to uni and everyting else is a hand me down. I got an Ipad but within a month, (my brother) had taken over it. In 2025, I got it back cause (my brother) had a new phone and half of the ipad's screen doesn't work anymore. Not even now plus it has many battery issues. The laptops= Samsung given in 2013 smth used it till 2024 BY THE WHOLE HOUSE. lenovo was used by my uncle from 2015 and i got it in 2025. HANDMEDOWNS

​our uncle sent a laptop from America it has not been released in our country. Dad said it was for me but its mamas choice if she wants to give it. She didn't. Now my brothers result came and he had been asking for a laptop IF HE GOT ALL A*. Mama said she would give the laptop our uncle gave to me for university but she gave it to (my brother). It'll stay with me but I know its not mine. (my brother) wont even let me use it i know. for years Ive been begging for a new ​phone. They got my brother a phone. He got the ipad and now he has the fucking laptop while I work with hand me downs still. Im turning 19 & hes only 10.

​I am sad about it but ill try not to show it."

i said okay its his he will play games and watch movies. but im still sad about it because i kept on accepting hand me downs because i believed ill get the laptop when i reach uni. ive always gotten hand me downs and im grateful but this hurt me. now i leave for uni in 3 months and its out of city too so i dont know. im not mad at my brother, just upset at how quickly he switched cause ive always let him use my stuff freely. im more upset at not getting it. its $1437 in american currency.

please dont say why dont you have a job, im a girl in south asia and they dont give jobs to undergraduates here. no concept of teen jobs

(im aware this is arranged haphazardly)