r/FormulaFeeders • u/Time-Milk-5377 • Dec 27 '25
Advice / Question š” How Did You Decide to EFF?
FTM, 35 weeks so preparing for all things baby.
Iām wondering how people decided to EFF? Or combo feed? I am not terribly inclined to BF, pregnancy has been really hard on me mentally and I want to have my bodily autonomy back as much as possible. Also the thought of BF gives me the creeps in a way I canāt describe. However, Iām not 100% sure and am open minded so Iām wondering if I should just try in the first days and see how it goes.
I guess Iām looking for perspective on how folks decided to formula feed if you were on the fence going into labor. My hospital really pushes breastfeeding so I feel like I need some idea of what I want to do before going in.
Is it possible to just breastfeed for like a month to establish immunity benefits, then fully switch? Or is it advisable to just go formula straight from the start?
Thanks for any input- this has been giving me a lot of anxiety.
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u/zcakt Dec 27 '25
notAmomYet
I'm also in third trimester and whenever I watch breastfeeding/expression education videos and read about pumping I just feel deep in my bones that it's not for me.
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u/Time-Milk-5377 Dec 27 '25
It gives me the deep creeps in a way I cannot articulate fully and I feel like people donāt talk about that enough!
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u/elegantdoozy Dec 27 '25
I get this feeling too. Itās not quite disgust, itās more likeā¦ deeply disturbing? Like, Iām a big horror fan, and breastfeeding gives me the same feeling that body gore movies do. Itās on par with like, digging eyeballs out of their socket or something. Personally I attribute this feeling to a past sexual assault experience, but tbh Iām not 100% sure I wouldnāt have had that feeling otherwise!
Anyway, that said ā give it a shot if you want, but that creepy feeling was all I needed to be a HARD no on breastfeeding. My EFF-from-birth baby is 14mos now and Iām SO glad thatās the route we went! It was the best possible choice for our family.
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u/Ripe-Tomat0 Dec 27 '25
Girl yes. The thought of sticking a baby on my boob is beyond disgusting and uneasy to me in a way I canāt explain. I would rather eat a denim jacket š¤¢
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u/ProudCatLady EFF from birth!! Dec 28 '25
I've had this feeling too. I wish we could talk more freely about the ick it gives us, but the sentiment is frowned upon even around the EFF spaces. It doesn't bother me whatsoever when others do it (one of my besties regularly nurses her little one in front of me and it genuinely doesn't phase me) but I get the heeby-jeebies thinking about doing it myself!
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u/zcakt Dec 27 '25
It's ok to feel that way! I'm gonna try out having baby latch at birth and if possible, harvest some colostrum. If those things don't work out, no biggie
15
u/gardengnomebaby Dec 27 '25
Breastfeeding/pumping made me incredibly suicidal so I stopped. My daughter needed her mom alive a lot more than she needed any milk (not that she was getting much anyway because I made 6oz a day MAX). I was just SO stressed all the time, I gained a ton of weight because everyone told me to just eat more and my supply would increase.
I also wasnāt bonding with my daughter at all because of the stress and depression that accompanied trying to breastfeed. Honestly, I hate to say this, but I kind of disliked her because I āhadā to breastfeed/pump and it was driving me insane.
Anyway. I completely stopped around 3-4 months. Sheās a happy, healthy, milestone-hitting almost one year old. I have vowed to never attempt breastfeeding with any future kids because I might not make it out next time.
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u/Wise-Raccoon-3069 Dec 27 '25
iām pumping not much more than you had n my baby is 12 weeks old
i am considering stopping and feel so much guilt, itās insane
thank u for sharing, it makes me feel less alone
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u/gardengnomebaby Dec 27 '25
Obviously this isnāt universal and itās just my experience, but it seemed like SUCH a big deal when I was in the thick of it and the DAY I stopped, it suddenly wasnāt a big deal anymore. I didnāt even think about it after I stopped. The guilt immediately went away.
I know it seems like such a huge, unbelievably important thing right now but I promise itās not. Formula fed babies still grow into happy, healthy adults that are great members in society. You got this ā¤ļø
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u/princesscalaviel Dec 27 '25
Thank you for sharing your story. I made it 6 weeks pumping and was starting to really spiral mentally. I was starting to resent my baby too and not being able to bond with her.
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u/gardengnomebaby Dec 27 '25
Yes! I hate saying it because I usually get people coming at me but I really started to resent her. I thought I just wasnāt doing enough and thatās why we werenāt bonding. Turns out being very stressed out and suicidal can cause issues with bonding š
Sheās my best friend in the world now and my only regret is not stopping sooner.
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u/Familiar-Garden9654 Dec 28 '25
I had the same experience with being suicidal and also not bonding at all due to the stress and depression. Once I switched to formula it was like night and day with how much happier I felt and how much more I bonded with my baby.
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u/gardengnomebaby Dec 28 '25
Same! It was a complete and total 180. I very quickly began to love motherhood and Iāve loved it ever since the switch!
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u/BrunchSpinRepeat Dec 27 '25
I just didnāt want to. I have sensitive boobs and the idea of using them for breastfeeding was always repulsive to me. EFF worked flawlessly for me and my baby, and I plan to do the same for my second daughter when she arrives in a few months.
FWIW, almost every woman I know who is having her second child has essentially been like āscrew thisā at the thought of BF again, and is planning to EFF. Itās just a lot of time and discomfort for something that doesnāt actually incrementally benefit your child.
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u/Aggressive_Day_6574 Dec 27 '25
I listened to people who breastfed and knew it wasnāt for me. It sounded exhausting, isolating, and miserable.
Also, not to sound bad - but none of their kids were like bastions of health or intelligence. So their reasons for doing what they did, didnāt add up for me. I figure a lot of that is up to genetics and chance.
So I saw no need to torture myself for basically little to no benefit.
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u/MMTardis Dec 27 '25
My first child (who was exclusively breastfed) had terrible recurrent ear infections, cavities on their baby teeth, and devloped type 1 diabetes in childhood.
Now i dont think they have those issues because of being breastfed, but breastfeeding wasnt protective against those things, which people often claim it is.
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u/shhhhhis Dec 27 '25
I tried to BF and she wouldn't latch. Then I pumped for a while but one day my supply kinda disappeared so I continued with formula. I really did give it a try but it was horrible for my mental health . When I went full FF my mental health improved a lot
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u/Ripe-Tomat0 Dec 27 '25 edited Dec 30 '25
I knew I never would before I was even pregnant. I also know that if you start it can be harder to stop especially if you establish a supply or baby doesnāt want to take a bottle.
Additionally, the immune benefits are very overhyped and pretty much just coat surfaces providing slight passive protection that maybe help 1-2 gut infections in the first year. This chapter and this comment go into it pretty well.
Iāve posted this in this sub before but my reasons I never tried any of it and did formula from day 1 are:
ā¢I didnāt want to hold onto extra weight. I bounced back so fast after pregnancy and didnāt want to jeopardize that. I love having a flat stomach.
ā¢I didnāt want to lose any intimacy or view my boobs as food.
ā¢The idea of breastfeeding is tortuous and an ick to me, thereās no reality where I would ever even attempt it.
ā¢I didnāt want to risk any boob or nipple damage they look the same as pre-pregnancy, and I wanted to keep it that way. Iāve seen horror stories about women with permanently longer nipples, calloused nipples, and so on- Iāll pass.
ā¢I didnāt want to deal with leaking or having to wear and change out nursing pads.š¤¢
ā¢I didnāt want to be hooked up to a pump or machine.š¬
ā¢I honestly just didnāt want fluids coming out of my boobs.
ā¢I didnāt want to be the sole source of food or dependence for my baby. I wanted my wife and other family members to be able to help with feeding.
ā¢I wanted the freedom to go out for hours without worrying about a pumping schedule or needing to whip em out in public.
ā¢I love going braless and didnāt want to give that up.
ā¢I wanted my body to feel like mine and sexy again.
ā¢I didnāt want to deal with soreness, engorgement, mastitis or thrush or clogged ducts. Or any other conditions that go along with BF that conveniently no one tells you aboutš³
ā¢I didnāt want to have to learn wtf āhind milkā even is. I didnāt want to have to learn what a flange is or how to fix a motor in a pump or ANY OF IT.
ā¢I didnāt want to deal with a hormonal rollercoaster when it came time to stop.
ā¢My baby has slept through the night since she was 3 months and I love that.
ā¢I know exactly how much my baby eats, and that itās nutritionally complete not conditionally perfect or dependent on me.
ā¢I can have off days (coffee and pizza or eating nothing but a Celsius or iced coffee) without it affecting anyone but me.
ā¢I didnāt want to deal with the hormonal ramifications (dry vagina, painful sex, low libido, increased pp hair loss, BO, etc.)
ā¢I didnāt want to worry about medications, caffeine, or alcohol. I want to be a human and do what I want.
ā¢I wanted to be free to love and bond with my baby without putting my body and mental health through the wringer.
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u/Time-Milk-5377 Dec 27 '25
This makes me feel so much better, Iāve had so many of these same thoughts myself. The hormonal mental rollercoaster of pregnancy has truly been a nightmare and I keep saying āI just want my brain and my body backā. Breastfeeding just feels like it would be volunteering to continue the nightmare and I genuinely donāt think I can handle it or want to try.
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u/Ripe-Tomat0 Dec 27 '25
So validš¤ I knew if I even tried it wouldāve sent me into a spiral. Give yourself grace and donāt let anyoneās opinion get in the way of what you want to do and end up deciding.š«¶š¼
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u/mrschickenstripley Dec 27 '25
My brain was that way during pregnancy too. I despised my body not being my own. But because breastfeeding was "free" I wanted to make it work. The first 2 weeks sucked. The second 2 week were okay and briefly I thought that it was cool. But then it just took over everything and my mental health suffered horribly. I felt less than human when I was breastfeeding. I switched to formula at 8 weeks and it was the best choice for me, for baby, and for our family as a whole.
If I hadn't switched I would have ended up with PPD. Switching brought sunshine and happiness back into my life. I honestly wish I had EFF from the very beginning.
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u/wickedgame44 Dec 27 '25
I love how you have just articulated everything that I have been struggling to explain. Screenshotting this and taking it with me to my next midwife appointment that I am feeling so anxious about that they are going to judge me or force me to try breastfeeding.
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Dec 29 '25
The ones judging you aren't the ones have birth or raising your baby.Ā Your baby has a lot of people to advocate for them - parents, well-wishers and doctors.Ā For moms nobody cares about us. We gotta advucate for ourselves strongly and fiercely.Ā
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u/WillRunForPopcorn Dec 27 '25
I knew right away I wanted to be able to sleep as much as possible and that Iād resent my husband for not having to do the labor of breastfeeding. So I formula fed from the start. 10/10
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u/_LaVieEnNoir_ Dec 27 '25
I never had the desire or urge to BF. Nothing about BF appealed to me. My mom didnāt BF. Neither grandmother BF. My best friend didnāt BF.
When I compared FF, BF, and pumping side by side, formula had soooo many more pros. My only complaint about FF is how expensive it is. My kid takes the generic Target brand, but he eats 36+ oz a day. We can afford it, and my time, mental health, and rest are worth the price tag. My kid THRIVES on formula. He is happy and healthy, and I feel like weāre pretty bonded (so does my husband!).
*edit typo
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u/heaven-is-overrated Dec 27 '25
I started combo feeding because I didnāt like the idea of my baby being hungry until supply kicked in (which is good because it took weeks to generate any meaningful quantity). Ended up pumping due to latch issues just to see if I could get her some breastmilk for immunity benefits etc, she ate mostly formula for the initial weeks but then I ended up with an oversupply. I still use formula when itās more convenient (those little premixed grab and go bottles are amazing when youāre out and about because they donāt need refrigerating and just go in the trash when youāre done). I read a lot on this because I HATE pumping and it seems like most benefits happen within the first 6 months with 3 months being the most important chunk of time. As of now Iām taking it a week at a time and will probably quit when I go back to work but hoping to push through cold and flu season with breastmilk available for at least some of her feeds in case thereās any immune benefits.
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u/Gi0vannamaria Dec 27 '25
I tried breast-feeding in the hospital and just could not do it. Then I tried exclusively pumping, but I didnāt make enough so I had to combo feed. One day after pumping and getting MAYBE 2 ounces, I slipped and dropped it all on the bed. after that, I lost my sh*t & I said I was done LOL Iām thinking Iām just going to go straight to formula for the next baby. trying to breast-feed and Pump was destructive to my mental health. I also would feel like full body chills and this deep anxiety whenever I did it. Not for me!
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u/MakeUpTails Dec 27 '25
Mental health and tongue tie. With my first he was tongue tied and it hurt. I made it a month and then switched to formula. 14 years later I had my second, my daughter. I made it 3 days. She was also tongue tied, I was in so much pain and my mental health about keeping up with BF was putting me in a bad place. It was 10:30 at night I was sobbing and had my husband go get formula. She is now 14 months old and they both are amazing kids.
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u/currentsc0nvulsive Dec 27 '25
I tried to breastfeed, but had a lot of trouble - my baby couldnāt consistently get a good latch, and was also really sleepy in the beginning due to jaundice, so I ended up pumping. Trying to pump enough to keep up with my babyās needs was incredibly exhausting, I had to pump throughout the night and ended up getting so little sleep I felt like a crazy person, then my supply dropped so when my son was 3 weeks old I bought a can of formula to supplement and take the pressure off me a little. A few days after getting the formula I woke up with severe mastitis and felt like I was dying, and while attempting to pump through the pain I decided enough was enough and I couldnāt continue sacrificing my mental and physical health when my son seemed perfectly happy with formula anyways. I let my supply dry up and from then my son was exclusively fed formula. Part of me did feel selfish and guilty for a while for stopping breastfeeding, but I eventually realised my son needs a healthy mother more than he needs breastmilk. Heās now 16 months and also off formula (just has 1 bottle of cows milk at bed time).
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u/Ok-East8202 Dec 27 '25
I felt like I owed it to myself to try it, but I hated it so I stopped at ~3-4 weeks after combo feeding. Just so youāre aware thoughāit was very hard for me to not get sucked into it (trying to make BFing successful) even though I had zero issues with formula feeding and did not enjoy breastfeeding at all. Those hormones can be wild those first few weeks.
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u/mylongdecember12 Dec 27 '25
I had wanted to try BF but was open to formula. Baby girl lost more than normal weight her first few days and I wasnāt making enough for her to regain so she had to start formula supplementing in the hospital. The hospital I gave birth at was also big on breastfeeding.
I wasnāt making enough determined to BF in the beginning but it stressed me I wasnāt making enough and she wasnāt regaining weight appropriately. I also for a really bad case on postpartum depression/suicidal thoughts and keeping up with pumping/breastfeeding to up my supply was too much mentally. I tried BF for maybe 2 weeks before switching to EFF and it was the best decision for both me and baby. The moment when she finally regained her birth weight and then some I knew EFF had been the right decision.
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u/PNWstarfish Dec 27 '25
Tried to BF in the hospital. I struggled with feeling like he was never getting enough, and he would get frustrated which would upset me, even though he did latch fine. It was a mental struggle for me. Got home and did mostly formula as sleep was a main priority and was able to share feeding duties with my husband. I did try to BF but only like once a day maybe every other day then every few days..I tried to pump as well but ultimately didnāt want to commit to the demand of it.
I wasnāt really educated on how demanding BF is. I really wanted to breastfeed. Once I came to terms that it doesnāt make me feel less than for not BF then I got rid of all my pumps etc and itās been great! It was about 3/4 weeks after he was born that I got rid of the pumps etc.
I donāt regret it at all, I see two other friends who BF and I feel more free to do whatever whenever with baby which makes me feel like Iām not in a box. Also I read somewhere that helped me decide was that no one asks when youāre older if you were formula fed or breastfed. Which I found out from my mom that I was formula fed. I just wish it was cheaper!
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u/madzi_ Dec 27 '25
I EFF from the beginning. The thought of BF weirded me out also for some reason. Iāve never had a desire to. I also liked knowing once baby was here I can have bodily autonomy again. And my partner/family helping with feeding duties. I also was on maternity leave and it was nice that BF/pumping wasnāt an added stress during that time.
I did collect colostrum in the few weeks before he got here and that worked out really well! You could try that if youāre interested!
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u/Responsible_Bison409 Dec 27 '25
I pumped/breastfed for a couple of weeks and it was just really hard on me mentally and physically. Pumping made me feel nauseated and I couldnāt keep up with the number of calories I needed to take in. I was going through the baby blues and just decided I needed to take care of myself. Switched to formula and no regrets.
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u/Marshforce Dec 27 '25
Baby couldnāt latch so I was 100% pumping and miserable. Then he ended up have dairy allergy on top of it which meant completely altering my diet on top of pumping entirely - it was too much. He was so much happier on hypoallergenic formula and so was I.
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u/princesscalaviel Dec 27 '25
This is the situation Iām in too! Baby couldnāt latch. My milk supply was low. I started exclusively pumping. And then turns out sheās allergic to my milk anyway! Sheās on goat milk formula the last few days and loving it.
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u/Successful-Special76 Dec 27 '25
I knew it wasnāt for me. Didnāt have a desire to and wanted to be in a position where husband could help with feeding. Ended up being on gestational diabetes medication which did not allow me to breastfeed anyway, so in the end the choice was taken away
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u/TurnoverSeveral6963 Dec 27 '25
We basically did two weeks of attempting to breastfeed, triple feeding, and pumping and then switched to formula. I had assumed we would breastfeed but didnāt know much about it and didnāt anticipate the issues we had. I think trying it is great, if you are up for it, because you never know what your experience will be. You may love it and it may work well for you. But, remaining open and flexible will help your mental health! And if you try it and decide it isnāt a good fit, formula will be ready for you! Our mostly EFF son is now 2 and is thriving!
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u/dresshater1 Dec 27 '25
I was never set on breastfeeding, so when it gave me anxiety in the hospital I immediately switched to formula and i'm so glad I did, it was by far the best option for me and my family. My bub got some expressed colostrum from before my c-section but that's it
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u/themakeshiftlocal Dec 27 '25
I felt the same way as you and decided to EFF from the start. Once I did, I was excited for baby to come and could start learning all things bottles and formula. It was like a weight was lifted. I have a healthy almost 4 week old now and I feel my mental health is the best itās been in a long time (even with lack of sleep.)
I had a tough pregnancy as well and knowing Iād have my body back was amazing and also knowing that I would not carry the load of solely feeding himā¦ I felt amazing postpartum so far.
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u/lima_247 Dec 27 '25
He ended up in the ER and then the NICU at 9 days old, just as my milk was really coming in. My supply got disrupted by that, so weāve been doing 50/50 breastmilk and formula through triple feeding.
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u/Busy_Ad_5578 Dec 27 '25
After a week of religiously trying, I could not produce more than 5cc of milk in 2 hours. I later found out I have an autoimmune disorder that impairs my thyroid and pituitary function and hindered my ability to produce breastmilk. My first child is 17 months now but I donāt intend to even try breastfeeding/pumping with future babies.
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u/theorangeblonde Dec 27 '25
Third trimester FTM here, so no experience yet. I plan of EFF because of my mental health and wanting bodily autonomy again. I had to go off several of my medications for pregnancy, and I'm really struggling without them. I was also diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes at 26 weeks, and I have to inject insulin 4x daily currently.
I also had to go through fertility treatments to get pregnant in the first place, so I don't feel like my body has been my own since Feb 2025 when it all started. Cycle monitoring for fertility was exhausting, taking injection medication to get pregnant was exhausting, I lost a twin between 8-11 weeks, and only really got to 'enjoy' pregnancy between 16-24 weeks because the first trimester really kicked my ass.
I'd like to have my meds back in my system so I'm not constantly exhausted, I'd like to eat what I want again once my blood sugar is back to normal, and I'd really like to love my baby instead of risk any resentment.
My mother has tried to convince me to BF for at least 6 weeks, and I shut down that conversation so hard she was offended. My midwife understands where I'm coming from, suggested colostrum collection prior to birth, but said that ultimately it's my decision and my mental health should be the priority.
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u/Kenny1792 Dec 27 '25
Iām only trying combo feeding this time because I couldnāt with my first! I could never exclusively breastfeed. I LOVE handing over baby to husband so he can feed and I can sleep. The freedom of that alone is worth it in my opinion! Itās also important to me this time around that I can spend as much time as possible with my toddler and having my husband take over baby duty is a non negotiable.
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u/Upbeat_Criticism_997 Dec 27 '25
I started EBF and then switched to exclusively pumping, to combo, to EFF. My biggest reason, I needed my bodily autonomy back. Breastfeeding didn't feel weird but I didn't get any of the feel good chemicals people talk about. Pumping is a lot of work and still was missing the part of my body just being mine. So eventually I just said I'm done and switched completely. There's no right or wrong way to think about it as long as you're happy.
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u/Secure-Resort2221 Dec 27 '25
I didnāt have much of a choice. I had an unexpected full term NICU baby so started with formula in NICU, he was drinking insane volume because he was on oxygen, but he didnāt have a lot of fat in his cheeks so he struggled to nurse effectively. I ended up being too anxious to nurse him after the NICU ptsd and triple feeding was not happening, so I tried exclusively pumping and gave up nursing, but after a few weeks of EP I got mastitis, then I got it again and again and developed multiple life threatening abscess in one breast. After surgery I stopped pumping on that side and kept pumping my good side as long as I could but I gave up around 5-6 months because I was just tired of trying and getting 1-10ml a pump.
If I were to do it again Iād combo feed but not try and exclusively pump, I would love to have the opportunity to nurse with the knowledge I have now. But itās also not for everyone and thereās many aspects of formula feeding I love. My baby has been able to self feed formula since 10 months (straw cup) except for nap and bedtime bottles so I have a little more freedom. My husband also has always done night feeds so I can get more sleep.
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u/Secure-Resort2221 Dec 27 '25
To add, during pregnancy I also had similar feelings to you, not necessarily getting the ācreepsā but anxiety about being touched out so I had planned on doing a fair bit of pumping, but pumping is incredibly overstimulating in its own way
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u/Armyofducks94 Dec 27 '25
I struggled so hard during pregnancy with my mental health and now that I'm post partum it's so much worse... I decided to EFF during my pregnancy so I could get my mental health in check during post partum. Formula feeding definitely has made it easier on me to work on my mental health and I can keep taking my medication.
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u/airila1 Dec 27 '25
Never had any desire in my life to breastfeed, just never felt like it was for me. Then infertility, IVF and an incredibly scary pregnancy sealed the deal - I needed my body back. Top that off with OCD/anxiety and I knew the uncertainty of breastfeeding would send me into a dark place. Formula was the best thing for me and my baby. I always knew how much she was eating and could control the preparation. My husband and I took shifts overnight and he could feed her anytime he was around. It was very much an equal partnership.Ā
That baby is now two, perfectly healthy and topping the growth charts. Currently formula feeding my second child. Zero regrets, not even for a minute.Ā
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u/SlayBay1 Dec 27 '25
The honest answer is that I'd never met a breastfeeding mum who wasn't completely shattered and miserable. My formula friends were generally way happier. And I also wanted my husband to be a full co parent. It just looked way better all around. I've EFF two babies now from birth. No regrets!!
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u/little-germs Dec 28 '25
I loved breastfeeding! Loved nursing anyways.. Hated pumping. My second born decided she liked bottles and it helped her grow strong and healthy. I weaned off the pump and switched to formula. It's been great! I EBF 'ed my first born and it was beautiful. But my second is a different person and I've LOVED formula! I don't think it's easier per se, boob is convenient imo.. but my husband can feed her, I can work part time and have a life! I can smoke weed sometimes (didn't with my first because there's not enough research on THC transfer in bm fat). #2 is almost 11 months, so we're almost done with formula!!! We're transitioning to a straw cup this month and weaning off bottles! I can't believe how fast her first year has gone by. It's all a lot of work, no matter what you decide. But it's so so lovely and these little babies just thrive when mom is happy and healthy.
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u/Life-Attitude3138 Dec 28 '25
I really wanted to EBF, I tried so hard and as others said itās dedication and work and if we didnāt have the issues we did along the way who knows, maybe I wouldāve been able to. Eventually she ended up being combo-fed
My daughter was born with a tongue tie and we had latching issues right from the start so we did a visit with lactation, tried a nipple shield, she also needed supplemental donor milk for her blood sugar numbers so she was getting bottle and syringes. Once we got home, we were working on getting her back to birth weight and she still wasnāt latching we added bottles of pumped milk back in. We kept up seeing lactation and getting her ties released. I started working on my supply, fast forward a few weeks we got some more donor milk to help supplement while I built up a supply. It ended up upsetting her belly really bad and I couldnāt let her be that uncomfortable again.
We started combo feeding with formula, sheās 7 months old now and from July-October she was fed with breast milk and formula both from boob and bottle. In October I started weaning from the boob (for my own medical needs) and sheās been getting breastmilk and formula from the bottle ever since.
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u/yousernamefail Dec 28 '25 edited Dec 28 '25
We decided to combo feed so my husband could take a few night feeds and let me get some sleep. It ended up being much more than that because I was a low supplier. We switched to EFF because my daughter started refusing the breast and I didn't want to pump non-stop just to give her 5 measley ounces of breast milk a day.Ā
An aside: I really built up in my mind what my breastfeeding journey would look like when I was still pregnant. When my body and my baby had different plans, it was hear-wrenching for me. If I could recommend anything, it would be to mentally prepare to be flexible if your plans need to change.
Edit: Finished the post after my child decided to grab my phone and click save, mid-sentence.
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u/WasabiCrafty6124 Dec 28 '25
I was all for breast feeding, I did at the hospital, the second I got home itās a different ball game I am also open minded so wasnāt against formula at all and had an āemergencyā can for just incase. After being fresh at home with a new baby, 20+ mins of us both crying trying to latch because my supply hadnāt came in yet, I told my mom get me the formula, seeing my baby so happy and full and fed and how easy it was, I was strictly formula since! My supply came in, I pumped enough for if he got sick, and then once a day to relieve fullness and it dried up in another week!
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u/j_natron Dec 28 '25
Combo feeding decision was easy because baby had low blood sugar in the hospital (Iām T1 diabetic) and formula was the only way to get it up. Iām so, so glad that we combo fed from the start, because there were times when I just could not handle the idea of trying to breastfeed (especially in the middle of the night - baby was a super sleepy baby and every feed took like an hour), so it was much easier for me to pump while my husband gave her a bottle of formula. I stopped breastfeeding altogether at about 5.5 months, but I had been tapering down for about a month before that and breastmilk was never more than 50% of her diet.
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u/SolidPauseHere Dec 28 '25
I wanted to BF and baby got a lot of colostrum in hospital via hand expressing. However, baby never properly latched, I developed pretty bad PPA and PPD, my mom got covid a few weeks after baby was born, my boss passed away, and I just couldnāt pump anymore and try to keep myself together. We went with formula, and baby is healthy and growing.
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u/vbworld Dec 28 '25
My rule with both my kids was I would do it as long as it was easy. With my first I lasted about two months until I found out my son had a dairy allergy and I would have to cut dairy from my diet (I had GD while pregnant, so another strict diet was a big nope for me!). With my second, I lasted about two weeks, she just never had a great latch and stopped trying most times I tried feeding her, so that was that.
Iām glad I tried it, but also think I should have just gone straight to FF. Weaning was such a pain in the butt, took me like two weeks of pumping because I was paranoid of being mastitis.
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u/jzhrko Dec 28 '25
I EBFed for the first 6 months, at that point my supply was going down and it was affecting me mentally a lot and I decided it wasn't worth it to me anymore. We switched to mostly formula (I still bf for the first feeding of the day but it's not much) and it's like a massive weight has lifted off of my shoulders
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u/Sunshine_Savvy Dec 28 '25
My baby was a NICU baby. In the NICU, she was just not able to tolerate the breast milk that I pumped. I drove myself crazy trying to cut things out and it never seemed to be enough. No matter how much effort I put in, she still was not able to tolerate the breast milk. The only thing that she did well on was Elecare. Once I accepted the truth that what she needed was Elecare, she started thriving and we were able to take her home.
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u/Awkward-Solution5346 Dec 28 '25
I was always iffy about BF but understood how beneficial it could bed. As a first time mom, I told myself I would try to EBF for 2 weeks before giving up. Right after delivery the nurse put my baby on my breast but eventually they give my LO formula. I tried several times after that and even used a lactation consultant. After 1 month I finally gave up and moved on to EFF. I knew I gave it a good try and felt good about my decision.
Whatever you choose, just make sure you go about it in a way that you wonāt have mommy guilt later!
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u/MetalPrestigious5693 Dec 28 '25
My girl is 3 months now, and all I wanted was to EBF while pregnant. 3 days after she was born, she was on formula. Every time she would latch it made my skin crawl, she didnāt have a good latch due to my nipples, and she needed up messing my nipples up so badly that they were bleeding while she was feeding. I also just felt completely depressed every time she nursed, so I said f*ck this, and got my mom to get formula for me. I have never been happier with my choice, I have full bodily autonomy, Iām happier and a better mom for making this choice. I personally donāt see the point in going through a month of breast feeding then stopping, and itāll be harder to dry up your supply and may cause issue like mastitis. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck, a safe labor, and a happy healthy baby ā¤ļø
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u/Ihavenoidea36 Dec 28 '25
I breastfed my 4 year old until she was 3. She stopped on her own once I became pregnant and the milk dried up. It was strange putting a baby on my breast at first but it quickly became a very normal thing to do. If this bothers you too much you could try to do exclusive pumping and offering milk in bottles instead but should be latching at first in the beginning.
My 4 year old , when she was around 4 months old my supply dipped , and it caused weight gain issues for baby I was told to supplement with formula, I tried all kinds and all different bottles for an entire month and she strongly refused all attempts. She wouldnāt even take a pacifier. I also worked hard to increase my supply as well. I was taking her back to her pediatrician regularly for weight checks. Getting scolded by the nurses for her not being on formula (she wouldnāt drink it!). It was a nightmare. Her weight stabilized once I began feeding her solids. This made me not want to breastfeed my son whom I was pregnant with last year.
I ended up with gestational diabetes during my sons pregnancy last year , when he was born I had a change of heart and decided I wanted to breastfeed but would also introduce bottles regularly and even some Formula here n there to prevent the issues I had with my daughter. At the hospital I had to give him formula since his blood sugars were too low and they were not correcting. At home we had difficulty latching to do a forceful letdown that would spray him and choke him once he latched and got the milk going. And then at other times he would refuse to latch at all. Pulling his head away and screaming. With me being sleep deprived I didnāt have the energy to keep up with pumping so my supply tanked. When he was 4 months old I began pumping every two hours around the clock to increase my supply to offer to him In bottles, it was slowly working and then I got a shingles outbreak all over my chest and arm and back. It was excruciatingly painful, i couldnāt even pump at all. So that completely ended my breastfeeding with him , Heās a year old now and Iām completely bummed still that I couldnāt give him more breastmilk. Itās soo good for them.
Now that heās 1 , I asked my doc why we switch babies who turn 1 to formula so quickly but with breastfeeding the allow you to go for as long as you want pretty much.
She said they just donāt need the formula any more for growth , their nutrition should come mainly from food now with milk being a beverage not a sustainable meal and formula is processed and they want them off of it asap
No matter what the feeding looks like , breastfeeding, formula feeding whatever. Itās the right choice as long as baby is thriving and mom is happy.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! And I hope my lengthy post helps.
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u/beanerweener6 Dec 28 '25
When I was pregnant I had the same feeling about bf. Gave me the creeps and the thought of it made my skin crawl but the closer I got to my due date I felt more pressure to bf. So I did. And like I knew I would, I hated it. I will say I donāt necessarily regret trying it but I only lasted a week before I said āYeah no Iām completely over thisā but the guilt (aka hormones) made me want to pump which I did for four months. Had nipple thrush the whole time, leaked constantly through my clothes, had to revolve my whole schedule around pumping/my boobs hurting, and pretty much standing at the sink washing pump parts all day (donāt have a dishwasher).
Basically, Iām proud of what my body did but will I do it ever again? Probably not. I might pump for the first week or two with my next one just so A. They get colostrum and B. Just so Iām not cold turkey-ing it bc your boobs are as hard as a rock about day 2 or 3 after labor and hurt so Iām going to pump but quickly wean. Formula imo is so much easier in practically every single way.
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u/momofchonks Dec 28 '25
I have sensitive nipples and the thought of having a screaming potato sucking and biting my nipples made me cringe. I told people the thought of it made me imagine chucking my baby, so no thank you. I did try to pump, but it was probably already too late, and I wasn't knowledgeable/ambitious enough to try getting a supply back in. It was far more valuable to me to share the responsibility of feeding than it was to kill myself for hypothetical benefits.
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u/AnxiousTalker18 Dec 28 '25
I just knew it wouldnāt be good for me. I saw a lot of friends try and struggle. I donāt do well on little sleep and thinking about breastfeeding/pumping and it all being on me made me feel so overwhelmed and resentful. I didnāt try breastfeeding with either of my kids and I have zero regrets! The hospital didnāt care and was not pushy in any way. When I had my first I thought about trying for a few weeks for the immunity benefits but after she was born I just knew in my gut it wouldnāt be for me. I really thrived postpartum after feeling like my body wasnāt mine for 9 months. My 3 year old is very healthy and smart FWIW :)
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u/Intrepid-Benefit-779 Dec 28 '25
I was always open to both BF and formula before having my first, and once I gave birth I was so unable to āresearchā and learn how to breastfeed, it all felt SO out of reach for my brain haha, so I would BF when I felt like it, and supplement with formula. This will totally affect your supply and for me I would BF her and then follow up with a bottle of formula just so I knew she was full. I felt like this was a good system for me because I got that Breast feeding benefit (is there even any?!) and I would also know she was eating enough because Iām sure my supply wasnāt great. When I pumped, which was 2-4 times a day I only got about 2 oz each time. So I would save that and mix it with formula for a night feeding that my husband would do. Honestly - I had no rhyme or reason for doing anythingā¦I kinda just was winging it and doing what felt right day by day.
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u/howigothere910 Dec 28 '25
I went right to formula and pumped what I had one every morning after my shower til it was gone. I called it babyās āmedicineā. Itās great!
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u/Time-Milk-5377 Dec 29 '25
Does it just slowly dry up then? I was curious about this- maybe just doing colostrum via pump or hand expression for the first few days then being done but wondered how you get your supply to dry up/not come in?
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u/howigothere910 Dec 29 '25
It will stop on its own if itās not being used. I did not hand pump colostrum or anything. Then one day maybe a week after birth after a shower milk was dripping out so I pumped. It was 20ml, then 15, then 10, etc. then within a week just done. Have heat pads at the ready for when the boobs get painful. I only needed the heat pads for a few days.
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u/chabadlubabitch Dec 28 '25
I donāt! I combo feed. I am transitioning to formula though. My daughter got teeth and started biting my nipples.
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u/violet237891 Dec 29 '25
What pushed me over the edge was how much I was stressing over breastfeeding the first week. Baby wasnāt getting enough from me so we were having to supplement anyways and I was just mentally exhausted.
My MIL looked at me and was like āyou know you donāt have to do it if you donāt want toā and idk for some reason hearing another mom tell me that lifted whatever imaginary rule I had made up in my head. We switched to formula that week and my mental health got so much better and I had the menal capacity to actually BOND with baby. So then I decided Iāll never try it again lol a mentally healthy mom is the best thing for him and I.
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u/Wrong_Literature1329 Dec 27 '25 edited Dec 27 '25
The book Lactivism really helped me feel good about my decision. But ultimately, bf was hurting my mental health, I kept gaining weight, and I ended up having surgery that made it feel like it would be v detrimental to continue to breastfeed when I needed to take care of my physical and mental wellbeing in a big way. It sorta felt like the only sane decision for me. I knew maternal mental health mattered more than breastmilk.
ETA after an initial tough week of figuring out how to breastfeed - latch, positioning, etc - we had a fairly easy 6-8 weeks when his sucking reflux was strong. Struggles for us started at around 8 weeks, and it was HARD. But that initial couple of months was great, and I'm happy we did it. I slowly dropped feeds for another 1.5 months til I was about 75 formula 25 bm, then stopped cold turkey, and it was all very smooth! I think some research support benefits the first week, then fewer the first month, then very slim benefits for the first 6 months. So like... if it works and you're so inclined, it could be worth trying, as long as it's what you want cause it's your body! And formula is amazing and lifesaving and not worth the marginal benefits if you don't want to breastfeed.
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u/annakiin_ Dec 27 '25
I felt the same as you, not super committed to breast feeding but was willing to give it a shot. He never really latched well in the hospital, except one time after the lactation consultant had to try for 30 minutes to force my boob into his mouth. Everything about it was just uncomfortable to me. When we got home I started pumping and mixing with formula, but I hated pumping and cried every time I put the pumps on. I combo fed with pumped breast milk for a couple of weeks and then just stopped pumping it bc I hated it so much. Now my husband and I split overnight feeds and we each get 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. Iām soooo much happier EFF, I have no regrets!! And baby is soooo chunky, he loves his bottles!
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Dec 27 '25 edited Apr 17 '26
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u/SensitiveDrummer478 Dec 27 '25
You can switch at any time. If you want to try breastfeeding for a month first, that's totally fine.
I tried breastfeeding for about 5 days and then switched to EFF primarily because it became clear to me that it would be better for my mental health. There were other difficulties, but ultimately I was just tired and didn't want to breastfeed anymore.
The immune benefits from breastfeeding are short lived and largely overblown, but there are likely some small and short term benefits. You can do whatever works for you and your family.
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u/OstrichSea3737 Dec 30 '25
Hello! Iām 7 weeks PP. I started off trying to breast feed which led to baby losing too much weight because I wasnāt producing enough. This led to having to triple feed which is breast feeding plus formula. Regardless I will say this was an insane amount of time I was spending with baby on the boobs especially while he was learning how to latch and eat. I highly recommend finding a lactation consultant to help you navigate this if itās the route you want to take. I quit after 5 weeks because it was destroying my mental health and I felt miserable. Iām a lot happier now and am so much more present with baby so Iām very happy with my decision.
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u/somecrybaby Dec 30 '25
I hemorrhaged, it affected my ability to produce milk. I was triple feeding, and pumping was producing <15mls total.
After 3 weeks i called it and we moved to eff. It saved us tbh. I was starting to hate myself, the baby and my husband.Ā
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u/joleighcucu Dec 27 '25
I felt the same way BF gave me the ick, I wanted my body back, pregnancy was so hard not feeling like my body was my own. I also get touched out really easily and never wanted to just whip a boob out. In the hospital I let my baby get colostrum from me (I had a c section and milk didnāt come in for a few days) and realized yes I did hate it. So in the hospital I started formula. I tried to pump a few times once coming home but it also gave me the ick and made me feel like a stranger in my own body. Dried up my milk and my mental health has been a million times better.
I will say if you tell your postpartum nurses that BF gives you a creepy feeling they will look at you weirdā¦. Haha but it was respected! Best of luck!
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u/MMTardis Dec 27 '25
I breastfed my first child exclusively, including extended breastfeeding.
I enjoyed some aspects, but i found it to have several downsides i didnt want to repeat.
I found safe sleep to be impossible while nursing, and my child wouldnt take a bottle, EVER. my friends (all exclusive breastfeeders) had the same issues i did.
With my second child i combo fed from my breast, and with formula, from birth until my milk dried up at 3 months. It was much more relaxed and easy, for me.
Now im pregnant with my third child, and its my now husbands first baby. We want to be equal parents, and bottle feeding formula allows for that egalitarianism. I dont think i want to nurse at all, i want to focus on healing from my csection and bonding with my baby.
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u/abadalehans Dec 27 '25
Unfortunately doing EBF frequently requires a lottt of dedication/ persistence/knowledgeĀ /good advice/luck so I tried for a few weeks and simply couldnāt do it. Ā Switching to bottles made my and my husbands life way easier and my baby finally started gaining weight for real. Ā Iām glad I tried, and Iām going to try again with my second baby, but combo feeding or fully formula is a great option too.