How Did You Decide to EFF?

[u/Time-Milk-5377]

FTM, 35 weeks so preparing for all things baby.

I’m wondering how people decided to EFF? Or combo feed? I am not terribly inclined to BF, pregnancy has been really hard on me mentally and I want to have my bodily autonomy back as much as possible. Also the thought of BF gives me the creeps in a way I can’t describe. However, I’m not 100% sure and am open minded so I’m wondering if I should just try in the first days and see how it goes.

I guess I’m looking for perspective on how folks decided to formula feed if you were on the fence going into labor. My hospital really pushes breastfeeding so I feel like I need some idea of what I want to do before going in.

Is it possible to just breastfeed for like a month to establish immunity benefits, then fully switch? Or is it advisable to just go formula straight from the start?

Thanks for any input- this has been giving me a lot of anxiety.

[u/Ripe-Tomat0]

I knew I never would before I was even pregnant. I also know that if you start it can be harder to stop especially if you establish a supply or baby doesn’t want to take a bottle.

Additionally, the immune benefits are very overhyped and pretty much just coat surfaces providing slight passive protection that maybe help 1-2 gut infections in the first year. This chapter and this comment go into it pretty well.

I’ve posted this in this sub before but my reasons I never tried any of it and did formula from day 1 are:

•I didn’t want to hold onto extra weight. I bounced back so fast after pregnancy and didn’t want to jeopardize that. I love having a flat stomach.

•I didn’t want to lose any intimacy or view my boobs as food.

•The idea of breastfeeding is tortuous and an ick to me, there’s no reality where I would ever even attempt it.

•I didn’t want to risk any boob or nipple damage they look the same as pre-pregnancy, and I wanted to keep it that way. I’ve seen horror stories about women with permanently longer nipples, calloused nipples, and so on- I’ll pass.

•I didn’t want to deal with leaking or having to wear and change out nursing pads.🤢

•I didn’t want to be hooked up to a pump or machine.😬

•I honestly just didn’t want fluids coming out of my boobs.

•I didn’t want to be the sole source of food or dependence for my baby. I wanted my wife and other family members to be able to help with feeding.

•I wanted the freedom to go out for hours without worrying about a pumping schedule or needing to whip em out in public.

•I love going braless and didn’t want to give that up.

•I wanted my body to feel like mine and sexy again.

•I didn’t want to deal with soreness, engorgement, mastitis or thrush or clogged ducts. Or any other conditions that go along with BF that conveniently no one tells you about😳

•I didn’t want to have to learn wtf “hind milk” even is. I didn’t want to have to learn what a flange is or how to fix a motor in a pump or ANY OF IT.

•I didn’t want to deal with a hormonal rollercoaster when it came time to stop.

•My baby has slept through the night since she was 3 months and I love that.

•I know exactly how much my baby eats, and that it’s nutritionally complete not conditionally perfect or dependent on me.

•I can have off days (coffee and pizza or eating nothing but a Celsius or iced coffee) without it affecting anyone but me.

•I didn’t want to deal with the hormonal ramifications (dry vagina, painful sex, low libido, increased pp hair loss, BO, etc.)

•I didn’t want to worry about medications, caffeine, or alcohol. I want to be a human and do what I want.

•I wanted to be free to love and bond with my baby without putting my body and mental health through the wringer.

[u/Time-Milk-5377 → u/Ripe-Tomat0]

This makes me feel so much better, I’ve had so many of these same thoughts myself. The hormonal mental rollercoaster of pregnancy has truly been a nightmare and I keep saying “I just want my brain and my body back”. Breastfeeding just feels like it would be volunteering to continue the nightmare and I genuinely don’t think I can handle it or want to try.

[u/Ripe-Tomat0 → u/Time-Milk-5377]

So valid🤍 I knew if I even tried it would’ve sent me into a spiral. Give yourself grace and don’t let anyone’s opinion get in the way of what you want to do and end up deciding.🫶🏼

[u/mrschickenstripley → u/Time-Milk-5377]

My brain was that way during pregnancy too. I despised my body not being my own. But because breastfeeding was "free" I wanted to make it work. The first 2 weeks sucked. The second 2 week were okay and briefly I thought that it was cool. But then it just took over everything and my mental health suffered horribly. I felt less than human when I was breastfeeding. I switched to formula at 8 weeks and it was the best choice for me, for baby, and for our family as a whole.

If I hadn't switched I would have ended up with PPD. Switching brought sunshine and happiness back into my life. I honestly wish I had EFF from the very beginning.

[u/wickedgame44 → u/Ripe-Tomat0]

I love how you have just articulated everything that I have been struggling to explain. Screenshotting this and taking it with me to my next midwife appointment that I am feeling so anxious about that they are going to judge me or force me to try breastfeeding.

[u/Ripe-Tomat0 → u/wickedgame44]

Aww I’m glad & wishing you luck! Advocate for yourself always🩷

[u/[deleted] → u/wickedgame44]

The ones judging you aren't the ones have birth or raising your baby.  Your baby has a lot of people to advocate for them - parents, well-wishers and doctors.  For moms nobody cares about us. We gotta advucate for ourselves strongly and fiercely.