How Did You Decide to EFF?

[u/Time-Milk-5377]

FTM, 35 weeks so preparing for all things baby.

I’m wondering how people decided to EFF? Or combo feed? I am not terribly inclined to BF, pregnancy has been really hard on me mentally and I want to have my bodily autonomy back as much as possible. Also the thought of BF gives me the creeps in a way I can’t describe. However, I’m not 100% sure and am open minded so I’m wondering if I should just try in the first days and see how it goes.

I guess I’m looking for perspective on how folks decided to formula feed if you were on the fence going into labor. My hospital really pushes breastfeeding so I feel like I need some idea of what I want to do before going in.

Is it possible to just breastfeed for like a month to establish immunity benefits, then fully switch? Or is it advisable to just go formula straight from the start?

Thanks for any input- this has been giving me a lot of anxiety.

[u/gardengnomebaby]

Breastfeeding/pumping made me incredibly suicidal so I stopped. My daughter needed her mom alive a lot more than she needed any milk (not that she was getting much anyway because I made 6oz a day MAX). I was just SO stressed all the time, I gained a ton of weight because everyone told me to just eat more and my supply would increase.

I also wasn’t bonding with my daughter at all because of the stress and depression that accompanied trying to breastfeed. Honestly, I hate to say this, but I kind of disliked her because I “had” to breastfeed/pump and it was driving me insane.

Anyway. I completely stopped around 3-4 months. She’s a happy, healthy, milestone-hitting almost one year old. I have vowed to never attempt breastfeeding with any future kids because I might not make it out next time.

[u/Wise-Raccoon-3069 → u/gardengnomebaby]

i’m pumping not much more than you had n my baby is 12 weeks old

i am considering stopping and feel so much guilt, it’s insane

thank u for sharing, it makes me feel less alone

[u/gardengnomebaby → u/Wise-Raccoon-3069]

Obviously this isn’t universal and it’s just my experience, but it seemed like SUCH a big deal when I was in the thick of it and the DAY I stopped, it suddenly wasn’t a big deal anymore. I didn’t even think about it after I stopped. The guilt immediately went away.

I know it seems like such a huge, unbelievably important thing right now but I promise it’s not. Formula fed babies still grow into happy, healthy adults that are great members in society. You got this ❤️

[u/princesscalaviel → u/gardengnomebaby]

Thank you for sharing your story. I made it 6 weeks pumping and was starting to really spiral mentally. I was starting to resent my baby too and not being able to bond with her.

[u/gardengnomebaby → u/princesscalaviel]

Yes! I hate saying it because I usually get people coming at me but I really started to resent her. I thought I just wasn’t doing enough and that’s why we weren’t bonding. Turns out being very stressed out and suicidal can cause issues with bonding 😅

She’s my best friend in the world now and my only regret is not stopping sooner.

[u/Familiar-Garden9654 → u/gardengnomebaby]

I had the same experience with being suicidal and also not bonding at all due to the stress and depression. Once I switched to formula it was like night and day with how much happier I felt and how much more I bonded with my baby.

[u/gardengnomebaby → u/Familiar-Garden9654]

Same! It was a complete and total 180. I very quickly began to love motherhood and I’ve loved it ever since the switch!