Had an “oopsie” on Saturday with hubby! We have a 8 month old, and I’m breastfeeding still. Got my period back 3 months PP. I guess I checked my Flo app, and confirmed with my symptoms, but I definitely ovulated two or three days after this “oopsie”.
When you got pregnant a 2nd time, was it a one time & done situation or did it take multiple cycles?

Edit:

I’m internally screaming right now, and will be updating in 2 weeks lol

pic for reference

with most diapers i’ve tried he keeps having leaks from the top when the rest of the diaper is dry. for reference, these are huggies snug and dry, but it’s with multiple different ones that worked for my first son.

for my baby shower i asked solely for rascals because those worked for my first son the best and now i have so many boxes that i cant use because they leak like this.

for reference the only diapers that didnt leak were luvs and parents choice surprisingly. all huggies brand do this and rascals/millie moon

Hi everyone, I have an 11 month old and I have been thinking of having 2 under 2. I have always wanted two kids, but never thought I would consider a small age gap. I always thought I would wait at least 2.5 or 3 years.

The 0-1 transition was super hard for me, newborn stage was super hard, sleep deprivation, colic etc. So my logic is, since I find the baby stage hard, it’s better to go through it as soon as possible and have 2 under 2 than to do it all over again when my first born starts being more independent? My question is, am I delusional lol?

Hi everyone! I have a 21m toddler and I’m due with baby #2 in May, so we made it into the 2 under 2 club 😅 We have roughly 90 days left and I really want to use this time intentionally instead of just…winging it and hoping for the best.

For those of you who’ve already survived the postpartum part of this what do you wish you had done before baby arrived?

I’m especially curious about things like skills you worked on with your toddler (or wish you had), routines that made the transition smoother, any independence stuff around sleep/meals/play that actually helped once you had a newborn in the mix.

Also wad there anything you told yourself “we’ll deal with that when the baby’s here” about and then immediately regret? 😂

Basically just looking for your “if I had a do-over” wisdom. What made life easier or what would you change if you could go back to the first day you brought baby #2 home from the hospital?

I’m 8 weeks into my 2 under 2 journey. It’s been a wild ride so far! Prior to my 2nd son being born my oldest was in daycare full time as my husband and I both work. It was great, we had a good routine and my son was thriving. I am on maternity leave now and I decided to keep my oldest in daycare part time for a few reasons - so he stays familiar with the routine, because it’s a safe place for him to be feral and burn energy, to maintain my sanity and get some 1:1 time with my newborn etc etc This morning when I was dropping off my toddler and the daycare worker made a comment about how it’s unfortunate I have to be back to work so soon and when she found out I am on leave she seemed genuinely confused. She asked me why I wouldn’t want to spend this “ extra time” with my son since I’m “missing out on so much” She then reminded me that they are only little once. My heart dropped and I cried on the way home. Today the house just feels empty and I am really wondering if I’m doing the right thing. I thought that 4 days at home and 3 at daycare ( 6 hour days ) was a good way to meet everyone’s needs. Does anyone else use daycare for their oldest?

We have just found ourselves pregnant at 6 months PP (surprise) and our 6 month old does not sleep. We don’t know what to do. Looking for people who may have had a similar experience and what your advice would be. We have tried sleep training even paid an extortionate amount of money for someone to come in home for 3 nights. We were her first failed client…..

I have a 21 month old and a 5 month old (16m age gap) and eventually want a third but I don’t want to wait too long?? How long did yall wait to have a third?

Okay…. Kind of dumb but really curious what others thoughts are.

Have a 23 month old and 3 month. About to go back to work. I have to drop toddler off at daycare before dropping baby off at my moms. Do I have to (or should I) bring baby in with me for the 3 minute drop off of toddler? A part of me screams if course but the other part is like “why bother a sleeping baby”.

We live in a very safe area and the daycare has its own private parking lots with like 20 spots

Hi. I'm in a situation I never could have imagined and would love to hear from others who are on the other side of a similar scenario. Long story short, my partner and I have a 13 month old and I just found out I am pregnant. This despite birth control and a lengthy history of infertility. We had zero plans to even consider another child in the next 2-3 years because we live in a super expensive city and have had to make a lot of sacrifices to establish childcare for ONE child here. Two is unthinkable. Yet here I am.

We both work full time in stable careers and do OK, but the math simply doesn't math. We live a modest lifestyle yet right now there is no way we could make ends meet with two small children in need of child care. Even if we get a little help from family nearby, part time care for two is still going to exceed rent on our house. I don't understand how anyone living in a HCOL area affords two rents.

It feels like there are only 2 options to survive this and they are both terrible:

a. End the pregnancy. I am firmly pro choice and would never judge anyone for their own choice but I myself cannot imagine going through this right now and being emotionally OK, especially when we have talked about having another kid (likely through adoption) in 3-5 years. I can't justify it under these circumstances and feel it will haunt me to the point of permanently harming my mental health.

b. Move forward with pregnancy and cut into our savings, including emergency funds, until we can secure higher paying jobs, which would likely significantly degrade our work life-balance and time with both babies. Delay all other savings/retirement efforts until further notice. Being the higher earner, the brunt of this would be on me, the pregnant one, which also feels insurmountable. I just had to switch jobs last year at 3 months postpartum for the same reasons and it was insanely difficult and not something I think I can pull off again this soon. We are not in a position to take out loans as I still have student loan debt.

I am spiraling and feel like our life is over. If we move forward, the life I dreamed of for the three of us and the plans I had for my 13 month old's education, care, and the type of home and neighborhood he would get to grow up in are effectively blown up. I can hardly sleep, eat, or do my job. Every minute is spent fighting tears and waffling between two decisions that feel unbearable. I am so angry that we have worked this hard our entire careers in a lot of thankless jobs to be where we are today and it still isn't nearly good enough to move forward without debilitating fear and anxiety and sacrificing our 13 month old's wellbeing and future.

What did you do? How did you get through it? Am I missing a solution or a silver lining here?

EDIT/update: I have received so many wonderful and thoughtful responses and am grateful for them. I know the answers won‘t come from strangers on the internet but hearing about similar experiences overcome has helped tremendously. This post clearly brought up a lot of thoughts and feelings for people but I want to reiterate that the biggest problem we are facing that inspired this post is the current cost of childcare for two children. Obviously we aren’t the only people in a HCOL area who don’t make $300K+/year that have two kids close in age. Or maybe we are and I’ve completely dissociated from reality at this point. I don’t know. I’m still genuinely wondering how any regular people out there are having kids and paying for childcare in the city, much less 2 or more kids.

For naps during the day.

I have a 6mo and a 2yo. 2yo constantly comes into the room while I’m trying to put the baby to sleep. Doesn’t matter if I put tv on for him, give him toys, give him food, he still wants to be with us in the room. If I let him in the room, he just shouts and stomps around - he won’t sit still or be quiet. And if I shut him outside of the room, he’ll repeatedly kick and slam into the door and scream, which naturally stops the baby from sleeping. It’s very frustrating!

Hello.

We have 4 month old girl and if second one is born full term, we will have 12 month gap. Wife has been crying for week now. No matter how much I try to tell her it is going to be fine at the end, she only can see the negative stuff. She looks as if she were diagnosed with cancer and not found out that she is expecting second baby, which we always wanted. Just to be clear, I'm not saying she can't cry or be scared, but right now she is barely coming out of bed on weekends when I can take care of baby full day and it has only got worse with time, not better.

I'm here looking for things I could do to change her view on the whole thing.

ive got a 14 mo old and am due in a couple weeks. debating on whether to get a double stroller? I babywear a lot so I feel like I may not need one bc I can have one baby in the carrier and one in stroller. I think when the new baby is a little bigger ill do one of those wagons? idk!

anyone feel like the double stroller has been a huge help or a must? and which one do you have?

THANK YOU!!!

Hi! As the title suggests.. I am pregnant again. My babies will be 11 months apart. I don't really know what I'm looking for or if this is the right place to post this. I just wanted to talk to someone who had close age gap children and listen to some stories.

I am very lucky I have a doting husband, we both adore our little girl, and his family are very excited for him to finally have children. My family love our little girl, but were always cautious about me being pregnant and asked me to ab*rt originally. I'm really dreading telling them again, but would love to hear some advice & experience. Both positive and negative.

Thank you

EDIT: Thank you SO much for the response. This sub really is lovely & the community here has already helped me and it's only been a day. I am feeling a bit better after reading your comments & I wish you & your little ones all the best. Parenthood is such a wild ride, but it has been so beautiful already!

Was at playgroup today and my (32F) daughter (19 months) figured out a puzzle that was somewhat tricky. She was so pleased with herself and ran to me for a cuddle. I scooped her up & said "good job sweetheart" and gave her a cuddle.

A fellow mum next to me though said you know you shouldn't say things like that - "good job" or "you're so smart" etc because it makes kids dependent on external approval or praising too heavily makes them not take risks cause they're afraid to fail or make a mistake. She said I should say something like “That puzzle was tricky, but you didn’t give up" but I feel somewhat like this is still praise?

Does anyone make a concious effort not to say certain things to their toddler if under 2yo? I'm 100% down to make the effort, I'd love to hear your options though?

I'm due in September with my second and my kids will be 20 months apart. I get overwhelmed easily (this has gotten a lot better since having a colicky newborn lol) and I just want to be set up for success. Most importantly, I honestly want to slow down a bit and enjoy my kids instead of always cleaning and organizing.

What did you do, physical/mental/emotional/organizationally etc that really helped when you were in the thick of it?

I’m due in August with another girl. They’ll be about 17ish months apart. I’m starting to make my registry and I just don’t know what I’ll need 2 of. Like do I really need another stroller or the double stroller? Do I need to get another infant car seat (I know it’s based on height and weight). Do I need another crib or can I just put my daughter in a floor bed/toddler bed? TIA!

I’ve heard that you show earlier when you’re pregnant with your second or subsequent babies. Have you found this to be true? For my first we held off on telling people until 20 weeks but not sure if that’ll be possible with the second or if I’ll likely show sooner.

Husband lightly slapped our 1.5 year old..

So me (22 F) and my husband (27 M) are having 2 under 2..

So the night yesterday, he came from his activities I gave babies to him to handle them until I finish the kitchen work..

The lil one 6 month old started crying hysterical as she does like always only I can soothe her then so he tried to soothe her but didn't work and in all that scenario toddler also started to ask her dad for attention as he was busy in soothing the lil one so he didn't payed attention to her so I that case he hit her dad with phone (like thrown the phone at his face) so he slapped a lil on her face.. as per my thoughts it was due to heat of the moment cuz he loves her so much..

But I'm so guilty towards her, there can numerous factors to him being like this either he's frustrated in his work cuz he works hard and also lost some of his profits yesterday. So I'm making that excuse in my mind to satisfy myself..

I talked to him about that and he said I can't be like your father(all lovey dovey and caring) I can be my father(his father used to beat them on mistakes but love them also, it was his father parenting style). But I said, the generation changed we can't hit them now or beat them cuz she's is very lil now and we have to be friend with them, he said you would be their friend and I would be the strict parent to make them disciplined.. I told him that I still didn't got your point..

What should I do?? How should I cope up with it?? Cuz I don't wannna make himself a bad parent infront of our daughters..

To preface this: I own three cats, two I’ve owned for over 3 years now and were born from the same litter. The third I recently took in from the streets due to her being super skinny and winter approaching. The first two are spayed & vaccinated and I’m on a waiting list for my third cat.

This Christmas our cats were gifted a variety of toys, including a cat gingerbread house. The cat house is big enough for one (maybe two but they’d be snug) cats to lay in it and it has a scratch pad at the bottom so the kitties have been loving it.

I’m currently working a double shift at work and received a call from my children’s father. He told me our newborn started fussing and when he went in the other room to check on him he heard our toddler start scream crying after and running to him. I asked him was our toddler provoking the cat at all- he said no. I asked was our toddler sticking her face in the house- he didn’t know. I asked if our toddler possibly grabbed the cat- he didn’t know. He told me all he knew was our toddler started crying and running from the box and one of our oldest cats was inside.

I’m luckily close enough to home to be able to step out for a moment. I stopped at home to look at my toddlers face and these are the scratches from the cat. I’m kind of at a loss on what to do. The cat that scratched her isn’t exactly a social butterfly but has laid in toddlers chair and been around children playing without any kind of negative behavior aside from the typical cat wanting to move to a quieter place. I’m stuck because I don’t know if this was an act of aggression or if it was defense in my cat’s mind. When I went to check on my toddler she was laying in her chair, smiling and happy to see me but half her face is red.

I’m torn on what to do- I’ve asked others for their thoughts and was told I should rehome since she is a bigger cat and this is her first attack. I’m completely heartbroken at the thought of even rehoming kitty but I also want what’s best for both toddler and kitty.

Should I just count this as a possible provoked attack and keep the cat or rehome her?

Can you please suggest ways you work with your baby to stop the screaming. Please I am mentally struggling with hearing him scream all the time. It makes me beyond frustrated and way over stimulated. I can’t help but to respond with “stop screaming!!” Because gentle singing doesn’t work. I have to be louder than him to get him to stop but it doesn’t feel productive. It’s literally ear piercing screams and makes me want grind my teeth everytime I hear it.

Long story short: I lost a few years having traumatic, end of first trimester miscarriages. Doctors blamed egg quality/advanced maternal age which delayed testing but I finally tested positive for APS and it turns out it was all preventable with some medication. I finally had my rainbow baby 6 months ago at 40. I’m happy to stop now but my husband desperately wants a second child. He was a lonely, only child. I consulted my OB who recommended if we want a second, due to my age we should try to conceive again when I’m 9 months pp, when I would be 41. I’m terrified of 2 under 2. I always felt and looked young for my age but having a baby later in life has kicked my ass. I took an extended, unpaid leave from my demanding job as a teacher but I’m returning in August and we can’t afford to do that again. I live my daughter but it has been hard and I can’t imagine having a baby, toddler and working with kids all at once. Has anyone here at 2 under 2 over 40? Did you regret it? Any advice? Did anyone happen to love it, even if it took a few years? I’m worried I’ll be going through perimenopause with toddlers…

By the time I give birth to the second one, my first one will be about 22 months old. I made the mistake of listening to a book and looking at search results about the cons of having a closer age gap.

As you all probably know, there is supposedly research about the second one not having proper brain development. The first one not having proper intellectual development and just the worst things you can read about about the mother's health.

I developed prediabetes during breastfeeding for the first one and had preeclampsia during childbirth towards the end. I am now scared shitless and really want to hear positive stories from your experiences about how I should not focus on these horrible outcomes.

Thank you so much!!

Just curious to know how much quicker was your second birth vs your first? I’m 37 weeks pregnant with my 2nd bub and have just moved a 40 min drive away from the hospital.. - so thinking we may need to get a move on quickly!

Currently pregnant with baby #2, we're having a 17 month age gap. All the parents around me with classical 2-4 year age gaps are reading books about becoming a big sibling, giving their toddlers baby dolls, practicing gentle hands, basically all the classical things you do to emotionally prepare the toddler. The toddlers are walking around talking about the baby in mummy's tummy and seem to be excited and semi aware of what's going on.

For those of you with an age gap of 18 months and under, what did you do to prepare the toddler and how long before birth did you start? How much do they actually understand when they're still babies themselves?

I found out I’m pregnant 7 months PP and I’m realllllly struggling to be positive about it as EVERYTHING with 2u2 seems negative??!!!! I KNOW it’s going to be hard and it’s a lot of juggling but surely there’s some positives to the chaos?

I feel guilty how negative I feel towards it so please can someone give me any positives of it to get me through the next 8 months of pregnancy and beyond 🤣🤣🤣

EDIT: thank you all sooooo much for your replies. Me and my partner sat down at dinner once we’d put our LO to bed and read through them and we are feeling so much more positive & have been talking about how our son will be such a good big brother and we’re so excited. Thank you positive people you’ve really changed my perspective 💞💞💞💞