r/2under2 • u/Abyssal866 • 1d ago
Advice Wanted How do you stop your toddler from interfering while you’re putting the baby to sleep?
For naps during the day.
I have a 6mo and a 2yo. 2yo constantly comes into the room while I’m trying to put the baby to sleep. Doesn’t matter if I put tv on for him, give him toys, give him food, he still wants to be with us in the room. If I let him in the room, he just shouts and stomps around - he won’t sit still or be quiet. And if I shut him outside of the room, he’ll repeatedly kick and slam into the door and scream, which naturally stops the baby from sleeping. It’s very frustrating!
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u/sadsongplaylist1 1d ago
I have to put a high value tv show on: paw patrol or Daniel tiger. Anything else and she will walk in. She gets to sit in our bed and watch since that’s the only tv on our second floor and I think that also makes it exciting for her.
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u/Peaches_9998 1d ago
This is exactly what I did and still do with my 2.5 year old and 1 year old! Ms Rachel is only allowed upstairs while we need a child to be locked in on the tv
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u/mdreyna 1d ago
At times, I have resorted to placing toddler in her high chair with special playdoh that only comes out at special times. Every once in a while I buy a new play doh toy. Shes safely buckled into the high chair so I can do what I need to. if thats not enough, I'll also put on a tv show she likes. There are certain shows I dont let her watch on a regular basis (like paw patrol) because of the high frame rate. It hypnotizes her. I use these shows sparingly for emergencies. I change the show immediately when Im done with what I needed to do, otherwise it turns into a thing. So Ill turn off the show, play with her and the play doh for a little while longer and thank her for being so quiet while I -INSERT ACTION HERE- and then we go back to normal and Ill clean up the playdoh if shes done playing. Ive learned that interrupting an activity she loves has to be done with another fun activity to keep her from losing her mind. Even if I just act like its another fun activity, shes usually fine.
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u/cryptoenologist 1d ago
It’s wild to hear how different some kids are. For my toddler there is no such thing as safely buckled into anything but her car seat. We gave up on the high chair ages ago because she hated it and would Houdini out immediately, so we just use a toddler tower for meals at home.
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u/Binah999 1d ago
I dont have my baby yet so im not talking from personal experience and I dont know the set up of your house but is it possible to put a high baby gate between the rooms and the place you leave him? (I say high baby gate because kids can climb 🤣)
If its a big space and not a doorway then you could get a play pen thats basically a long baby gate/room seperator with a door.
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u/yaylah187 1d ago
Baby gates don’t result in quiet for us, my toddler will just shake the gate and scream at being locked out of the room by the gate.
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u/Binah999 1d ago
I mean at least the screaming will be away from the room than at the door or inside the room itself 😅
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u/nkdeck07 1d ago
Yeah but that's still probably quiet enough to get the baby down through a closed door especially if they are on another floor
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u/Abyssal866 1d ago
Unfortunately the baby sleeps in the bedroom that’s in the middle of the house, the living room is directly next door. So a baby gate wouldn’t stop the screeching 🥲
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u/Binah999 1d ago
Does your 2 year old have his own room?
What do you think about putting him in his room while you put the baby to sleep, then once the baby is asleep, you can do something small with him to take his mind off the fact the baby is sleeping so he doesnt feel like causing a ruckus. At least if you put him in the room, it will have a door between whatever noise your 2 y/o makes and the room where baby is sleeping. I guess maybe people would see that as harsh but sometimes it just is the best way to do things imo.
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u/Suspicious_Salt145 1d ago
I think my infant learned to sleep through the chaos because I was never able to get the toddler out of the room. We just practiced being quiet (as much as a 2 yo can).
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u/morning_smoothie1603 1d ago
i would time it with his snack / lunch and put my toddler in his high chair, when I could! Those nap transitions were SO hard when the toddler just won't give you a second of silence.
This too shall pass...I now look back and can laugh about him jumping on the bed screaming twinkle twinkle little star while I'm trying to (unsuccessfully) transfer my NB. lol.
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u/HallRevolutionary459 1d ago
I have resorted to letting my toddler watch videos of himself on my phone. He’s obsessed with watching videos of himself and sometimes videos of his baby sister. I either leave him in the baby proofed main level on the couch or put him in the recliner in his room depending on what time. He will literally sit quietly and watch them. And he never does that. He has also figured out how to change them just from watching me do it so he can kinda pick which ones he wants to watch. We only allow him to watch them while he’s getting dressed in the morning and getting his pjs on at night so it’s still a novelty for him. And then I of course use them as needed when I’m solo parenting.
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u/Abyssal866 20h ago
How do you make sure he’s not going in to other things on your phone, particularly things he shouldn’t be looking at? That would be my biggest worry.
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u/HallRevolutionary459 4h ago
Are you saying looking at things in my camera roll he shouldn’t or other apps? I don’t really have pics or videos he shouldn’t see, especially since he’s been born which is the timeframe he’s looking at😂 for other apps, I clear all the other apps that were open and hope I don’t get any notifications because sometimes he will click on it when it pops up. So I guess I don’t really have a way to make sure he’s not doing anything else, but I haven’t had an issue yet. Usually the baby is sleeping or basically sleeping so I’m pretty much just putting her down so like 5 mins or so. We watch a movie on the couch while I nurse the baby to sleep.
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u/FunnyBunny1313 11h ago
This isn’t as much of an issue anymore, but then I put the toddler in their own room and shut the door.
Our toddler rooms are baby proofed and we have a child safety lock on them. For safety reasons we don’t want them to be able to get out of their room on their own.
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u/paRATmedic 5h ago
Constantly whisper when baby is sleepy. See if he’ll copy and learn to whisper too.
We did this and now my toddler shushes me when baby falls asleep in the stroller or on her swing and I hadn’t noticed and speak in a normal volume.
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u/nutellarain 1d ago
Does he have a baby doll? I would have my daughter put her baby doll to "sleep" at the same time. She would say "Shhh" a lot which was still loud but helpful lol. In general I really had to recruit her to "help" with the baby or else she was just vying for my attention and really disruptive
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u/cryptoenologist 1d ago
Having toddlers help with everything is so key! It really changes things from battles to moderately disruptive collaboration. And you’re setting yourself up to have a helpful child.
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u/nutellarain 1d ago
For sure! Moderately disruptive collaboration is a great description lol. I'm not allowed to grab new diapers anymore, I must wait for a slow 2 year old to bring me one or she gets upset 😆
Having her help is the only way I can watch them both by myself though!
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u/Mission-Motor364 1d ago
I have 2u2 and my husband works nights so this is bedtime for me daily. I have a couple of really fun ‘special toys’ that only come out when I’m putting baby to bed. If the baby takes longer than usual to go down, then I’ll resort to the TV which she only gets to watch at times like this, so it usually keeps her attention. Maybe there’s a specific show he likes that you can put on only for certain occasions like this? Also I will say, it just gets easier as the days go on. My toddler used to be so impatient when I was putting baby to bed - screaming and calling for me etc. and now she is so patient and quiet. I always reassured her as soon as baby goes to sleep we get to play together just the two of us
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u/Kathwino 1d ago
We have baby gates at the top and bottom of the stairs and over the kitchen door. So I can leave my toddler downstairs in the babyproofed area of the house while I put baby to sleep. Also white noise masks any screaming lol. Both of mine have it for sleep and naps.
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u/Life-Window-8082 1d ago
I've never even tried putting the baby to sleep in a room if my toddler is awake. Try putting the baby to sleep in another way. During the day I regularly get my baby to sleep either in a carrier on my back or in the stroller, so my toddler is also there with me.
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u/thiscantbereallife94 1d ago
Would it help or be possible to put both kids to sleep at the same time? That’s what I do I have my 2yo “help” put the baby to sleep we all sit on his bed and both kids fall asleep
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u/Amberly123 1d ago
I had a three year old when we brought the baby home.
For day time naps, baby learnt to sleep in a loud environment.
My three year understood that if baby was asleep he needed to be quiet, but he was also three so quiet didn’t happen.
Baby would often contact nap on me while bigger kiddo and I played on the floor with trains or cars or whatever.
Wasn’t ideal, but it worked and baby sleeps through anything
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u/Emotional_Act9488 1d ago
I just had to repeatedly explain that I will be out in 5 minutes, as soon as baby is asleep, give my oldest a snack and put him in front of his favourite tv and hope for the best. He was really trying to be quiet (not quiet enough for my youngest though lol). That was the hardest part of 2 under 2 for me ..
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u/asplenia 1d ago
Is your toddler still in a cot? I used to put my older one in her cot with a few soft toys and would put film audio on for her (would usually just put my phone under her bed) and I could watch her on her baby monitor while I put my youngest down
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u/Jumpy-Woodpecker-248 1d ago
Tbh as hard as it was, I just had to teach my toddler that it was expected that he be quiet while I put the baby down. Obviously took months for him to understand and he’s still not perfect, but much better. Had a 20 mo age difference, he’s now 24 mo and I have a 4 mo old and it’s so much better. 4 month old is also now more tolerant to noise so it doesn’t necessarily have to be perfectly quiet either. I also use white noise machines in the baby’s room and our room (wherever I may be putting baby down for a nap). White noise is on during the “going down for a nap” process as well as the nap itself in case toddler decides to make excessive noise. Not a perfect system but we’ve done our best to teach expected behavior instead of resorting to pacifying the behavior (TV, tablet, etc). It’s paid off but it’s hard work. Reaping the rewards now though. In desperate measures, you can always baby wear too. I did this for a time during the very early weeks when naps were still unpredictable.
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u/gujubooboo 1d ago
Can you be more specific on how you taught this behavior?? Mine are 17 months apart and using a screen isn’t an option for us so would love some tips.
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u/Ok_Escape_5414 1d ago
Lock the toddler in your bedroom for the 1-2 minutes while you put baby to sleep. Then come and get the toddler and thank him for being so patient while baby goes to sleep. Keep praising the toddler for their patience and quietness (even if they’re screaming their heads off.) Whenever I praise my toddler for a behavior I want to see, he starts doing it unprompted.
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u/minyinnie 1d ago
1-2 minutes to put the baby to sleep??!
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u/cryptoenologist 1d ago
I think they are assuming that they’ve already gotten the baby out in another way, such as with a carrier or in the car/stroller.
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u/Ok_Escape_5414 1h ago
Yes that’s what I meant. I thought your concern was literally transferring baby into the crib while toddler was screaming.
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u/samuraispade 1d ago
I let my older son watch a show on a tablet in the room with me and baby, usually wearing headphones. We were sleep training the baby by 6 months though partly because of this issue. I didn’t want my toddler watching TV 3+ times a day just so I could put the baby to sleep.
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u/tuckaho6969 1d ago
Husbands out of town for work this week for the first time since we had the baby. My daughter is older,4, so way more understanding of this situation but I’ve found that giving her headphones and a Tablet is the way to go. She comes in baby’s room with me while I rock him. The tablet is a special treat so keeps her engaged and I can tell she thinks she’s soooo cool with her headphones on while she watches a movie quietly in the same room as us. Only downside is that if she has something to say, she whispers it very loudly cause she doesn’t realize how loud she is with the headphones on lol
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u/cryptoenologist 1d ago
This is such a pickle, because unfortunately almost anything you do you’re providing positive feedback for the disruptive behavior.
Somehow you have to make it very boring or figure out a different way to put the 6mo down for a nap. When our first was 6mo we did a lot of walking naps, either stroller or baby wearing. Is that an option? It opens up a number of possibilities, wear the baby have toddler help with chores like sweeping up or putting things into basket, or wear the baby go for a walk to playground etc, or if you have a double stroller put both in stroller and take a walk to the store(or playground or wherever).