I organized everything, I bought everything, I wrapped everything, I baked everything but of course he's the one who gets to be angry. We were at a farm celebrating our twins 4th birthday together with our loved ones and everyone was happy.

After two hours it was getting a little exhausting but the kids were still behaving and the adults were still having a good time.. everyone but my husband of course who retreated to our car because he was overstimulated. Whatever, I'll let him because I know how it is because I live through it every day.

Then after three hours the party is over and all I get is the silent treatment from him. I know that he's angry because attending our kid's birthday is tiring. It was also tiring for me but it's a one time thing and I'd do anything to make them happy.

I didn't say anything to him because I didn't wanna start a fight. I bathed the kids and when I left the bathroom he was already gone. Took the care and drove away and left me with our kids alone. Thank god they are finally asleep and happy and unaware how sad I am. I am sad because my husband couldn't put his own feelings aside for even three fucking hours when I was the one who planned everything and should be exhausted. But I always put on my happy face to please everyone.

I love dogs and who doesn’t love a cute puppy. Our kids, 4 and 7, have wanted one for a while now but the fact that this sweet adorable puppy was brought home without my consent just bugs the shit out of me. We’ve been on the rocks and divorce is not far down the road. He has a history of verbal and emotional abuse.

The times we’ve talked about getting a dog I’ve made it clear I wanted to adopt from a shelter. He got a doodle from, what to me sounds like a puppy mill in the butt fuck middle of nowhere.

Also, my husband doesn’t seem to care about training or engaging with her. He takes her out to poop and pee and that’s it.

I’m the only one who seems to think it’s important to train her.

Also, I work from home so the burden of her care falls mostly on me.

I am already feeling resentful that he got a puppy.

When I asked him why he did this he got defensive and said, “fine I guess I’ll just bring the puppy back.”

How would you handle this situation?

I’m tired of nagging him about everything else and now this?! I just know he got it to entrap me even further as he knows I want to get a divorce.

Maybe it's just mine, I don't know anymore.

So yesterday, I was down on a work break and noticed the garbage was full. I stopped to pull the bag out and got distracted, I think toddler called me or something, I don't remember there was guests over and a lot of noise lol

Anyway, entirely forgot to go back and finish the task. Husband sees the garbage is full and instead of acting like a reasonable human being, drags the open bag upstairs and puts in my office "to deal with". Whatever. Takes me two seconds to tie it off and I dropped it outside after work.

This morning I'm getting everyone out the door for work and he's brings it up. I said I took it outside. He makes a comment to the effect of "Good. And when it's full next time?" It took everything in me not to roll my eyes and I said it goes out in the can obviously.

He continued and commented that he hold T the same thing, if they see the can is full, tie and replace the bag.

I smiled and nodded and then added "And that rule applies to you too. If you happen to see it's full, just pull and replace"

I didn't say anything malicious or mean or accusatory. Just simply that the rule should apply to EVERYONE not just me and T.

His expression immediately dropped and he starts saying that he DOES do that and that he does plenty around here and how it might not seem like it but he's taken it out at least a dozen times.

First of all, we've been in this house for a year now. A dozen times means you've, at best, changed the garbage bag once a month.

Second, I didn't accuse you of not doing things. I wasn't being an asshole about it. I simply said that if that's a rule then it applies to all adults.

What the hell is that? And I'd like to point out that he DOESN'T do his share of the chores ever. They're clearly all written out and broken down per day to a reasonable amount (5 for each of us) and he either does none of his at all, or ends up doing like one.

But again. Wasn't trying to fight or be an asshole here.

Just. UGH.

My sweet daughter is turning 1 this week. I love watching her grow up and learn and explore. She is so smart and silly and amazing. But every time I mention that she's about to turn 1, I get the same reaction of like "oh my gosh, have you cried yet?". And like... no? I'm so happy she's growing up into such a smiley, inquisitive girl. And who knows, maybe it'll actually hit me day of her birthday. But for right now, I'm really not feeling the emotional rollercoaster everyone tells me about.

Our son started in March at a long standing daycare with a good reputation in our area. My son is now 8 months old. He started in the “baby 1” room and will be moving to “baby 2” next week.

He had two teachers which made the ratio 1:4 which is state law. Found out three weeks ago one teacher was moving out of state, they quickly hired a new teacher.

We noticed the week before Memorial Day that the veteran teacher seemed to be the only person at pick up and drop off times. On Friday before Memorial Day weekend my husband went to pick up our son and the veteran teacher was alone in the room with the babies and crying. She informed him that she had just been told by management that they were moving her to a toddler room (she had been in that baby room for two years) and keeping the new hire in the baby room. This was happening because they were apparently not getting along?

After Memorial Day, last week, things have fallen apart fast. And my husband and I are growing concerned.

Day after Memorial Day there was a new teacher in the room. New hire nowhere to be seen. So if you’re following this is a third NEW face to us and my son since March and in the last two weeks. Zero communication from management on what is happening and who this third teacher is and where the new hire is.

Our son has always consumed 4, 4 oz bottles of breast milk plus a purée. Suddenly he is only eating three, 3 oz bottles. They were sending an unconsumed bottle home each day last week. They have a policy where any milk not consumed in a feeding needs to be dumped. So 3 oz has been going down the drain.

On Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday all babies were screaming in the room at pick up. Including our son. I could tell he was way over stimulated when we got him in the car those days which is not his normal self. Tears streaming down his face and face bright red. Before last week my husband and I always noted how quiet and happy the babies were at the end of the day. The difference is jarring.

On Friday my husband picked up our son and asked this teacher if she was all alone with 8 babies…. She looked panicked and answered no. We think this is a lie. My husband noted there was poop stains on the outside of our son’s clothing when we got him home, we took pictures. We have no idea how long our son sat in soiled clothes.

Ok so fuck I’m typing all this out and think we need to call the daycare. Am I overreacting? Last night I couldn’t sleep from intrusive thoughts of his safety being jeopardized and being anxious about sending him today.

My husband wants to give it another day or two to see if anything changes but I don’t know.

I know our son is moving to another room next week but I’m concerned this is an internal problem and maybe not a room issue.

I told my husband I want a separation and divorce. He is “committed to working on our relationship” and in the same breath doesn’t listen to me and gets agressive.

I tell him he broke my trust when he checked the phone records, and he says I broke his trust when I talked to a divorce attorney behind his back…even though I had told him for awhile our relationship wasn’t working and we needed a separation.

This conversation told me all I needed to know to be very sure in my decision

Hey y'all. I need advice because I'm really not sure how to handle this. My kiddo was best friends with another kid in their class from 1st grade until a year or two ago when they had a big dramatic falling out. Since then, the other girl, who is much more popular at school, has ostracized my kid to the point that they no longer want to go to school, dreads seeing the ex friend and her cohort of friends, and feels like they don't have any friends at all. They're very much like a Janis Ian / Regina George situation, my kiddo being the Janis and her ex BFF is Regina.

There is also the added complexity of my kid being nonbinary (they came out this year) and their classmates are for the most part pretty accepting but they have told me that they don't feel like they are accepted by the girls because they aren't a girl, or the boys because they aren't a boy.

The really hard part is that it's a very small school, with just one class per grade, so there's no opportunity for them to switch classes and try to make new friends. They are entering 6th grade in the fall, and I'm afraid that middle school and puberty will just make this all worse for my kiddo. They are a very bright and creative kid and it breaks my heart that they hate going to school because they are bullied by these mean girls.

I have considered confronting the other girls parents and seeing if we can try to work together to help improve their relationship, but I worry that's not going to go over very well I've considered talking to the teacher and school admin but I worry that's not going to go anywhere. I'm getting my kiddo a therapist to help them work through these and other issues they're having but I am at such a loss. I was the outsider kid at school too, so it hits me really close to home and hurts so much.

How would you handle this?

I feel like I can’t breathe. We have been in this relationship limbo for the last 3 years both trying to make it work through life difficulties but things just kept getting worse. We both still held out hope even though we knew the relationship was fucked.

But i guess he stopped hoping and he has made his decision he is leaving. I hate him, i miss him, i love him. I just feel everything at once and everyone around me keeps saying i should be pleased not to have to argue with him over the domestic load but we have been together since i was 17 and now i’m about to turn 24 in a few days and i can’t imagine my life with anyone else.

I don’t want to have a toxic relationship and family but if i was going to fight about laundry and dishes with anyone i wanted it to be with him. We have been through so much together genuinely through thick and thin and yes we did end up in that roommates phase for far too long and truthfully at times i felt more like we were enemies than roommates but i don’t picture my future without him in it. I always thought we would work it out.

He made his final decision last night and took some of his things but theres so much more to sort out and i just can’t. I should be on the phone to benefits advisors and citizens advice but i just cant accept that its over i can feel myself holding out hope that he will appear at the door and say he wants to try.

I have to pick up my son from nursery in 1.5 hours and i just can’t stop crying. I feel so bad for my poor baby that he has to go through this so close to baby arriving its the worst possible time and now he has a mummy who can’t stop crying.

I told him when he brought this up a week ago that I wouldnt beg for him and i won’t but i wish i could i wish it would make a difference but i know it won’t

Started this morning at 7:30 when I got a text from my teens boyfriend (she was quite asleep so wasn't answering his texts) asking if he could come over soon because the hotel they were staying in needed them out temporarily for some reason (his family is in the process of a very long distance move and they are leaving in a couple of days so their situation has been complicated and stressful recently) and his mom was driving a few hours away to tighten up some lose ends and he didn't want to go with because he wanted to spend the day with my daughter, not driving around with his mom. Okay, fine I guess. The only complications is that my daughter is a deep, late sleeper and my son had swim lessons at 9.

So I wake up sleeping beauty and drag all the kids to son's swim lesson because I don't want my daughter getting pregnant while we're gone.

But other than the swim lesson we are basically stuck at home because the teens just want to hang out before the boyfriend leaves for good and I don't want to leave them home alone. But my nine year old is AuDHD the best way to keep him regulated is going to the pool and he gets dysregulated hanging out at home all day.

Later the kids are all playing Minecraft and everything seems to be going okay. But my son ends up getting very dysregulated (AuDHD) and acting inappropriately which leads to push back from the teens and him spiraling into the deepest throws of rejection sensitivity. He spends a couple hours being mad, hiding himself in very rooms and doing things that he knows will be upsetting because he's mad at everyone. He is stimming in a way that sets off my teen (he likes to make loud noises, in this case laugh in a really loud, forced way that's upsetting everyone and teen is refusing to use her ear protectors that I got her for just this situation).

It got to the point where I had to bribe son into taking the dog on a walk with me, because even though he desperately needed a reset that a brief walk would give he was refusing to go.

After the walk and finishing his lunch that he refused to eat earlier which probably helped lead to the dysregulation, he seems to be back to baseline and even apologized to the teens for the way he acted. But ugh it's still mid afternoon and feels like there's so much day to go. I want to be doing my own thing but instead I'm stuck watching him like a hawk because otherwise he'll run off and find the teens and irritate them. I am exhausted and I'm taking them all to an amusement park with my even more exhausting sister tomorrow.

Wish me luck getting through this week.

Seriously. Platonic or otherwise. Thanks to peri or SOMEthing…

I can’t tolerate the way they’ll offer advice on something I’m more experienced on and better than them at.
The way they’ll mansplain something to me.
The way they neg.
The way they don’t actually listen to us. The number of times I have to say “if you let me finish I’m getting there” when they ASK me to explain something but then proceed to not listen and interrupt me.
The way they don’t take us seriously.
I could write a list as long as the longest scrolls and I probably wouldn’t have enough room. I’ve barely scratched the surface.

I really don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tolerate a relationship with a man again. I can’t even get past talking to them without getting the complete ick.

That’s all. Sorry for the rant.

Im at a loss of where to even start, because this has gone on so long, its gotten me to the point where Im melting down. I need help with this situation. I dont know what has to give, but I'm at my breaking point.

Sleep is a real touchy subject in this house. Both adults are sleep deprived, and its affecting our relationship as well as our personal health.

My daughter is 5. She wakes between 430-530 each day. Its been this way since she was born. If we keep her up later with naps, she will wake at the same time but will be tired and difficult the whole day. We've tried getting her to get up and play on her own, but it ends up with her pestering us (me) until I relent and get up.

My husband works 12hr shifts alternating nights and days in a hard production job. I work from home. This is where the issue comes in. I do my best to make sure he gets enough sleep. Im up with our daughter 6 days/week so that he gets that extra 2hrs/day.

But its killing me. Im so exhausted Im waking up disregulated. I literally got up today sobbing because I am so tired, I feel like my nervous system is haywire. Its happening more and more and I dont know how to manage it anymore. Im yelling, Im mad, Im sad, Im exhausted.

I need to find a solution before I go off the rails.

I went to court on Friday and they’re saying I’m abusing my adhd meds that I’ve been on and following a healthcare provider since 2022. I have chunks of hair missing for the hair follicle test. I can’t see my kids for a month because he denied supervised visits for fear of “manipulation”. I feel broken. I feel defeated. I know the test will only come back for what I’ve been prescribed. The first thing he served me with in the court was a petition to temporarily suspend child support. I don’t care. Stop it forever. I just want my kids back.

I'm just neck deep in parenting right now and we keep fighting about me never wanting sex or straight out getting the ick when he won't stop being suggestive. I've started to dread when he works from home or on the weekends, because I just know at every turn he's going to be suggesting a quickie or making a comment about my body.

I'm just exhausted, stressed, and in no headspace for one more fucking chore (sex). My one year old is cutting molars and extra emotional (whiny) lately as he figures out toddlerdom. My 5 year old is in the middle of her 3rd neuropsych assessment in 3 years to finally figure out if she has ADHD, Autism, or both. Meanwhile she's having multiple violent meltdowns a day, drawing blood and bruising us, running away, and fighting us from dawn to dusk on literally everything.

I get it, he uses sex to relieve stress, but I can't work that way. I'm actually wondering if I'm neurodivergent myself the way I'm struggling with my own sensory overload. I'm just angry I can't shut off this physical part of me to him indefinitely while we get this sorted out without him pulling away from me.

Okay so im so happy. Ive been apllying to countless unis in my area (i think its university in english. Not sure.) and my dream no.1 i was really scared about, because i have a kid. A toddler to be specific, and wround where i live teenage mothers are VERY rare and heavily looked badly upon. I had a talk with the principal, such a kind woman. She said she understands, and said me having a kid would not affect me getting in or not at all. I worked my ass odf for this. Im honestly so happy right now!!

Listen. I am a child of the nineties. My mom did not always make me put on sunscreen. (Got some nasty burns hiking in southern Utah back when I was 13 that my derm still lectures me about.) I washed my face with Neutrogena and then put oxypads on it until I could feel the tingle (the burn, it was a burn). Now I swear by sunscreen and hyaluronic acid serum to make me not look like a crypt keeper.... But what do I do for my kid?! He's only eight and half Mexican so he "toasts" up real nice. (It's how we explained his tanning abilities to him. 🤣) Thanks to his Dad and I'm so glad he didn't get my pasty skin. We live in southern Colorado, so we're close to the sun and the air is dry. He's started to get a little dry patch on his face between his eyebrows. He's currently borrowing my CeraVe facial moisturizing lotion SPF 50... But is there a better, cheaper, kid friendly face lotion? We use a hydrating Aveeno body lotion that's SPF 60, so I'm really just looking for something that will keep his face hydrated and protected. Thanks!

I don't have sound notifications on my phone except for calls, because they'd just be super disruptive (I honestly don't know how people do it), and I figure anything important will warrant a call and/or I'll see the texts in due time. I really don't want to be on my phone all the time with the kids, and since my big hobby is crochet, I often have both hands full.

We visited my aunt and Grandma today. My aunt has her eye on a rescue dog they met, and my grandma loves it but was on the fence. I convinced her to get the dog. Aunt is the one who will take care of it, the rescue is paying for the one immediate medical need, and grandma is 89 and now is the time to seize the day.

Later I was driving and my husband said he got a text from aunt that they were getting the dog. I really wanted to be like YAY, but I was driving. When we got to the park, I was playing with the kids and forgot about my phone. Then I was driving again for quite a while since we live in a different town. At home it's dinner, baths, taking care of dogs, setting up the outfits and packing the snacks for tomorrow, bedtime stories, the works. Then I finally got my blessed TV time (I'm bingeing Trying and it is so good).

I finally just picked up my phone at like 10:30pm and realized I had missed the entire family text chain and was sort of called out (aunt pointed out that I didn't answer but husband did, mom mentioned that I'm generally focused on the kids and he kind of has a phone problem). Nothing major, but I feel bad, and now it's too late to respond.

And God knows I'll forget in the morning. A constantly repeating cycle. I don't know how to feel about it. Like, I think it's a good thing to not just be glued to your phone all day long, but on the flip side, my close friend texted me that she was in labor and I found out the next morning from the Facebook birth announcement 🤦🏼‍♀️

Anyone else’s partner start projects as everyone else literally sits in the car because you were about to leave the house?

Example: I’ve had a shitty menstrual day and need burritos. He’s going to the store to get ingredients…or is he? No, on his way to the car to go to the store he grabbed the weed eater and is now cutting weeds alongside the driveway.

Every time. We’ll be in the car to take a road trip, all packed, and he will find something to fiddle with or do that could have been done in the hours or days leading up to departure. We’ll have plans to go out, everyone obviously prepping and getting shoes on or whatever, and as we walk out the door it’s “I’m going to change my clothes be right there.”

Why?

How are y’all dealing with toddlers who have figured out they can get out of bed by themselves? Went from sleeping in till 7 to 5:30. Hubby is gone for work and I’m not okay. 🫠

13 year old!!! Sorry, I can't edit the title, that's supposed to say 13 year old.

My 13 yo has always wet overnight. Even when she was in diapers, her diaper would be soaked over night. Fast forward to being potty trained, and she wore pull ups for years. They'd leak half the time and I'd constantly be doing laundry. A few years ago the Dr put her on 0.2 mg of desmopressin every night and it was like a miracle. She stayed dry!! This lasted for over a year and she started wetting again so was bumped up to 0.4 and she started staying dry again. Now she's 13 and starting to wake up wet again, so she got bumped up to 0.6 (the max dose) and she was dry all week but last night she wet again ugh.

I'm so sick of all the laundry, the smell, sprinkling baking soda on her he'd, the whole thing. She refuses to wear diapers at night because it's embarrassing, which I get. We put chux pads down under her but she moves around so much they get twisted and her he'd gets wet. I'm just over it and I feel like there's no end in sight.

She's been to the Dr multiple times, she's been seen by a urologist and nothing physical is wrong, and she's in therapy. She doesn't drink after dinner, takes her pill at 8pm, pees, then pees again at 10pm when she goes to sleep. Is there a light at the end of this tunnel?

That’s it. I finally gave custody to my ex husband (he’s the one who wanted kids in the first place and trapped me) a few years ago and even though some days are hard, most of the time I wish I had done this sooner. I raised my son mostly by myself until he was 8, with my parents helping with babysitting from time to time. They would’ve been my first choice in custody, but the lawyer said the law wouldn’t allow me to give them voluntarily custody. Also, they insisted I keep the baby after I told them I was giving it up for adoption. For years, I was a shell of myself and was living life on autopilot while my ex went on to live a care free life after we divorced. Though my daughter’s physical needs were always met, I was very hands off with her and was mostly detached. After I finally had a breaking point and working with a therapist, I had a real talk with my ex and he said he would take custody. However, even though I miss my son and love him, I dread when it’s my time to have him and find myself miserable when I do. He also keeps me tied to my ex and in laws whom I dislike and I don’t want any part of this anymore. I want to leave and start a new life, and even though that sounds wrong being a mother makes me severely mentally ill. The issue is my son is attached to me, but I don’t know how to tell him he’ll no longer be living with me. I know he’s fine with dad but the issue is his attachment to me. My parents have even offered to take him if I don’t want him, but they’re getting older and have many health issues. Plus they weren’t perfect parents either, and I’m not sure I want my son there even though he loves being around them. Any advice would be great, thanks.

I would love some advice. My son is 24. He has been put in a local rehabilitation jail for 6 months.

He left home at 15 to live with his dad. This is because I would not let him play his Xbox of an evening due to behaviour at school.... I suffered terrible emotional abuse from him and my ex-husband at this time. His dad goded him to move out and told him he didn't need to listen to me. I split from his dad when he was 4, and contact was difficult and not consistent.

By the age of 17, he was in a young offenders, had dropped out of school, and was drinking heavily.

During all these years I have tried to help him, I tolerated his abuse because I blame his Dad for alienating him from me and his step family who loved him very much and gave him a good healthy childhood full of good times and fun activities... I visited him when he was in the young offenders, and it nearly finished me off as a human. I told him that if he ever ended up in jail again , I could not go through that again. His dad never visited him or tried to help. He was homeless when he got out , was only in for a few weeks, but his life never settled enough for him to get out the bit.... i let him move home for a short while, but he stole my car...rit it offf...his dad shook his hand...trust completely dissappeard ..unfortunately, when he was 20 his dad passed away. He ended up in trouble again, and I had to fight with the court for him to be seen quicker so he could get to his dad's funeral, which I took my son along to. Even though he was late and I had to face the family of my extremely abusive ex husband. I didn't care, though. I just wanted my son to go. So I made sure he got there.

Over the last few years, our relationship has really deteriorated. He's in a very toxic love triangle with 2 girls, and now there are kids involved. He has also recently told my daughter that their deceased father would be raging at her sucking up to mum... He has gone to jail for domestic.... I could hardly breathe when I found out.

I hope this is make or break for him, but I'm not sure my heart can actually take much more. I feel guilty for everything. The thought of him in there reduces me to tears daily. There were some bad words said... like.. mum is dead to me, etc.... I have since January refused to help him anymore with money, and I never heard from him again.... my boundaries were put in place.

He's been in 4 weeks now, and I've not heard from him. He knows the details are on the system from back when he was in the young offenders at 17. He knows the home address. He obviously doesn't want to reach out. Im hurting so much, and I know deep down my boy just needs help. I don't think it can come from me .... do I write to him?

What would I say?

I'm so sorry for ranting. You probably still only have half the story... im just lost and hate that my boys life is so difficult.... I feel like a failure as a mum.

Spent all day feeling down about my weight 6 month PP and now I’m sitting in bed unable to stop from shoving lays bbq chips in my mouth LOL.

And I'm so sick of hearing it.

Today, we're getting the morning going, we slept in a bit, so everything was being done faster than usual. Toddler did not want to wake up and absolutely did not want to sit in her highchair. She asked for a yogurt (the kids' yogurt drinks things), so I grabbed one and handed it to her on the couch. We also happen to have carrot muffins in the house right now. They're just store bought, not like organic or homemade or anything fancy. Kid asks for a muffin, I say sure, and pop one on a plate for her. She takes forever and a day to wake up enough to actually start drinking her yogurt and eating her muffin but finishes both.

I didn't think anything of it. Then I get a call from the husband on his way to drop her off, and he asks me what she had for breakfast. I said, muffin and yogurt. He knew. He was in the room the entire time that breakfast was happening.

He then starts saying how that's totally unacceptable, how a muffin isn't Breakfast, and I basically just fed her sugar with no nutritional value blah blah blah.

I'm rolling my eyes on the phone the whole time and saying, "Okay, I'll make her eggs or something tomorrow," and I did pack her a hardy lunch and snacks.

He continues going on about how that's not relevant and how I'm so "grossly negligent" for not ensuring she had a nutritional breakfast.

First of all, a muffin for breakfast is in no way, shape or form, negligence. It's just not. Ita a fucking muffin.

Second, a muffin is absolutely a breakfast food.

Third, would you rather she happily fill her belly with a whole muffin and enjoy a yogurt or have me force her into a highchair she doesn't want to sit in and give her eggs she's absolutely not going to eat or only have a bite or two of before declaring she's done? In my mind a full tummy is a full tummy. And it's not like she eats like this daily. Most days I get her up early enough that she can fully wake up before offering food, and she's happy enough to get in her highchair and eat what I give her.

Is that wrong? Am I entirely off base in thinking that a muffin and a yogurt is perfectly acceptable breakfast for a nearly 3 year old?