r/stayathomemoms • u/Marlasinger2-0 • 8d ago

Discussion Play group vent

I’m trying to get better about play dates/groups so that we both get social interaction but today made me feel like I never want to have another play date again lol. My son is 18m and so far has met all milestones except for speech. One of the moms at the play group has a child who’s autistic, and she kept making comments that my son is too, specifically about his lack of speech and the “way he was playing”. It became the full topic of conversation in the group about how I need to get an evaluation ASAP and it all made me feel so bad like I’m failing my child or missing something. I have brought up speech to the pedi and she’s not concerned and has never had any concerns about his development. But wtf? Am I wrong to be upset like this was mean girl behavior? Or am I wrong if I don’t take it seriously? I’m so annoyed that I finally went to a group and this is what happened.

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u/BumblebeeSuper 8d ago

I wish I was there to break the conversation up for you. I make it a specific point to not make comment on any parents children's skills in a negative way.

  Unless the parent is specifically asking me questions, I'm not raising it. You know why?  I'm not a qualified expert. I have my whole life experience because my brother is deeply autistic but never officially diagnosed until he was an adult so I've seen how it can present from birth right through to adulthood and realistically, autism isn't the end of the world. 

  So when parents are out there just trying to have a breather, I'm not encouraging or engaging in conversations that turn into a diagnostic session. 

  It happens, but I don't think it is right.

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u/Marlasinger2-0 8d ago

Yeah it was wild, I tried changing the topic a few times and then she would circle back. The other moms were just going with the flow whichever way the convo went. It was viscous but it was A LOT and to your point yes I was just trying to get out of the house and give me and my son social time. I didn’t want a lecture or advice in that moment lol.

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u/BumblebeeSuper 8d ago

She really hyper fixated on that, hey. Even with the topic changes. Lady needs to get a hobby.