My baby is 16 weeks old and since about 11 weeks, had been an awful sleeper. She would sleep less than 2 hours at a time so to save sleep, my husband and I separated rooms. One person in the guest room with the bassinet for half the night, the other parent in the master bedroom half the night. Well on my "shifts" baby still woke in 2 hours or less but on my husbands shift, she would sleep 3-6 hours stretches regularly! This lead me down a rabbit hole and I discovered that many breastfeeding moms report this phenomenon. It seems like the smell of milk causes baby to rouse out of those light sleep cycles every 1.5-2 hours whereas with dad, baby will use self-soothing skills to link cycles better.

Now Dad stays in the room with baby all night and I use a monitor so when she wakes up hungry, I go in and breastfeed then return to my room to sleep. My baby is now only waking 1 maybe 2 times a night, no sleep training, no tears. This will not work for everyone but for some, it may be the game changer you need to get decent sleep.

I know CIO is controversial, but here’s our reality.

Our baby had colic + reflux. We had to rock him for every single nap, bedtime, and wake-up. By 3 months, he refused the crib, my wife was in PPD, our toddler basically lived with grandma, and we were all falling apart.

At 4 months we did full CIO. Night 1 = 2 hours of crying. Night 2 = 20 mins. By the end of the week: • Baby sleeps 12 hrs with 2 feeds. 5/4/3 • Naps are longer, he connects cycles. • He’s happier during the day. • My wife got her life back. • Our toddler got mom back.

Was it hard? Absolutely. Do I regret it? Not for a second. CIO gave us our family back

Please tell me, who can actually put their babies to sleep that early? Once I start back to work, I won’t be home until seven. And even if I was home early enough, I would not be able to stay consistent with a 7 PM bedtime because life is still going on, and being home by 6 PM to start the bedtime routine is not realistic 100% of the time. I feel like expecting a 7 PM bedtime , is setting up myself to fail.

Is 8 to 830 and OK bedtime for my four month old as she gets older? I will only be working 2 to 3 days a week and those days she would have to wake up early, probably around 6:30. But other than that, she sleeps a full 12 hours uninterrupted.

Please tell me I’m not alone and not wanting a 7 PM bedtime for my baby mm OK

I posted here last week about how I was feeling nervous to sleep train my 4-month old, but we took the plunge and so far it seems to be working incredibly well!

Her sleep before sleep training was pretty rough. She was dependent on the pacifier, and it was taking us 20 minutes of rocking with the pacifier to get her to sleep. She would often wake up on the transfer requiring another round of soothing. We'd often get several false starts at bedtime, requiring one of us to go put her pacifier back in, or rock her back to sleep. Overnight, she would have one 2-3 hour stretch, and then wake up every 1-2 hours wanting her pacifier.

Last night, after a frustrating 25 minutes of rocking/pacifier while she screamed, we decided to pull the trigger and do CIO.

Night 1: She cried for 8 minutes continuously, then off/on for another 10 minutes. She then fell asleep until 10pm when I did a dreamfeed, and then she slept to 2am when I woke her to feed (her weight gain is on the low side so we are feeding overnight). She then went right back to sleep and slept until 5am when I woke her to feed again. Then back to sleep until 6:45am!

She was SO happy this morning, in a better mood than we've seen her in the past couple of weeks.

I'm now writing this during her first nap of the day. I decided to give her a chance to put herself to sleep for the nap as well. She cried for 7 minutes then fell asleep! Magic!!

Hopefully it continues to go well tonight!

The sleep deprivation is scaring me. I have almost fallen asleep with him a few times and now my partner has to wake too just to make sure I don’t.

I posted here a few days ago and got advice to lengthen wake windows and it worked very well for 3 days. Now we’re back to square one.

He’s 19 weeks old so 4.5 months ish. Wakes between 8:30-9:30am. 1.5/2/2/2/2.5(sometimes only 2 if he’s very tired). We just cut from 5 to 4 naps. Naps are short, maybe 45 mins if we’re lucky. But maybe once a week we’ll get a 1.5-2 hour nap randomly? Even though nothing is different.

Bedtime is where the issue lies. Generally he’ll go to bed at 9ish, and sleep for one sleep cycle. Then he wakes, needs constant settling. He only needs very little settling like putting one hand on his chest and waiting a minute or two. But 5 minutes later he’s awake and screaming again. This goes on until at least 11pm. Then, he may sleep for 2-3 hours on a GOOD night, and after that is hourly waking (if we’re lucky! Sometimes 40 mins). I am going absolutely insane. I can’t stop crying coming up to bedtime. My partner has to do most of the 9-11pm settling because all I can think of is “I cannot do another night like this again”. He is combo fed and we have tried everything in terms of formula before bed, during the night, etc but it’s true what they say about it not necessarily making babies sleep longer.

We’ve tried Ferber but I can’t make it to the 5 minute timer as he gets hysterical and sounds like he’ll make himself sick. We’ve tried setting 2/3 minute timers each time he wakes before going in. I’ve stopped nursing to sleep. We put him down drowsy or awake. I don’t know what else I can do.

This is probably week 5 of very bad sleep like this, but 2-3 weeks prior is when I thought the sleep regression started, as he was sleeping 11-7am without any wakes before this.

Please please help. We’re going crazy.

I need advice (and so many prayers) on how people sleep trained a highly sensitive high needs velcro/FOMO baby. My baby is nearly 5 months and it's all been HELL. I never got the newborn bubble, and we're still crying hard most of the time and every day and every night. I'm a first time mum who was expecting multiple wake ups to feed and console but this has been absolutely life draining and pushing me into depression. During the day the smallest thing will make him spiral and I don't think it's always tiredness - I've tried adjusting wake windows and getting more daytime sleep, earlier bedtime. All naps are full contact with bouncing or rocking and white noise. But I can't start his nap too soon or he has a meltdown, dark rooms make him cry these days, the white noise sometimes makes him cry too. Maybe it's just negative associations now with how much he fights sleep, then spirals into inconsolable crying from being overtired. He's never slept in his crib because he hates it. I've tried warming it, I've tried very very very slow put down feet first. I've tried drowsy but awake which just pisses him off and makes him cry inconsolably for a hour or more even after pickup. I've tried putting down awake which also pisses him off. I've tried everything I can think of but nothing is working and he's crying so much during the day as well I'm so worn out I'm actually hating life. I can't take this anymore.

He's BF but also bottle fed with expressed milk when my husband or parents feed him during my 4.5 hour sleep. But the real crux is how his sleep has gotten so bad that he cannot nap or sleep unless he's being held or attached to my nipples. Even if we're holding him he'll still wake at least once every hour. if we even try to put him down he wakes up and goes from 0-100 with absolutely inconsolable crying even with one of us holding and trying to soothe him. It goes on for an hour sometimes and nothing will soothe him except BF. He hates dummies and spits them out. He cries like the world is ending and he turns red and sweaty and coughs and vomits. I've ended up Co-sleeping which I never wanted to do but even then he'll only sleep lying down if he's on his side sucking on my breast. As soon as he detaches he cries. I'm so sad he's crying so hard even if we're trying to soothe him, he's basically in my arms and feeding all night.

He's still got reflux which the GP refuses to medicate and just vomits all the time, but isn't always upset by it anymore but because he's just constantly feeding overnight he's vomiting and waking then crying, then comfort feeding and the cycle repeats.

I've stopped meeting other mums and trying to go to groups because everyone else has chill babies and loving life and it makes me hate my life more. I love my baby in the short windows when he's happy but I'm starting to spiral and I need something to get better.

For anyone who had a similar reflux, colicky, high needs, highly sensitive FOMO/Velcro baby - how did you sleep train and did it work? ​

Now i KNOW this isn’t always the case, and it’s rare - but I just wanted to reminded people that it’s worth exploring.

I believe I finally sorted out what was causing so many of my baby’s temperament and sleep issues.

I spent most of his life (he’s now 4months) assuming he just didn’t need to sleep much. He fought every nap, even as a newborn. He was up every hour until we successfully sleep trained starting 10 days ago - which i can’t wait to make an in depth post about.

I just always assumed he had very very low sleep needs and was a fussy baby! A two-for-one deal lol

I consulted this sub a few times on scheduling and saw some progress for a couple days, then it felt like he was reverting again. When we started CIO it was like a rollercoaster on if we saw improvement night-to-night or not.

Much of the advice I received was that his wake windows needed to be stretched for him to be more tired at bedtime. Or he was fighting his naps because he wasn’t ready for nap time yet. I was always told to keep him awake more!

Finally i tried the opposite. I pulled his wake windows back down, and stopped capping his naps. He is now doing 3 naps a day for an hour, sometimes more. And going to bed independently without a single cry at bedtime from 6:30p-630a. Averaging like 15-16 hours a day! We started this about 5 days ago when I was at my wits end with sleep training.

His bedtimes are better and nights are more smooth on the days where he has napped more.

My baby’s nervous system was burnt out, and wired. The key to better sleep was letting him sleep more, not less. He is very sensitive I guess, and it just never clicked for me.

I hope this helps someone!

Baby turning 4 months in three days and I am assuming we are in full on regression mode because he is now waking EVERY HOUR. I would KILL for a 3 hour stretch at this point.

How do people survive this? Is the only way little one will come out of it to sleep train? Or will he figure it out on his own with time? He doesn’t sleep independently fwiw.

My son is 4.5 months old. He slept so great as a newborn, we thought we were so lucky and didn't put much effort into an established sleep routine. But now he won't sleep more than a 2 hour stretch in his crib at night without waking up and won't nap unless it's on me. This is really taking a toll on my mental health and my marriage.

Most say this would be too young to sleep train. I started trying ferber for naps today and I feel like my son just doesn't get it, like why I'm leaving him. I feel like he thinks I'm punishing him or something. He cries hysterically and then only sleeps for like 20 minutes.

I don't know if I'm looking for solidarity, encouragement, or what, but I'm going insane. Is any of this normal? What would you do in my shoes? Any success stories from a situation like this? I should add my son recently started rolling and I've heard that can impact their sleep.

Thanks in advance for any responses. I just feel like I'm rotting away in this rocking chair and can't keep doing this.

EDIT: I'm practically crying at the kindness of internet strangers. Thank you for taking time to respond to me. I will start with bedtime and then move to naps as many have suggested.

I’m fucking tired. So sleep deprived. I miss sleeping like I literally miss it so much. I don’t know how I function even during the day with only 3 hours of sleep every night and it’s not even consecutively. I’m convinced my baby is the worst sleeper in the world. I’m a FTM and she turns 6 months next week. The last couple of nights I’ve tried cosleeping AND I HATE IT. Honestly I don’t even think she really likes it that much either because she still wakes up frequently. And by frequently i’m talking 7-10 times every night!!!!!! I have to have my boob out the entire freaking night and stay in the same position, if I move she’s crying. Transferring back into the bassinet or crib is impossible. She also only wants to sleep on top of me. And it’s been like this since I brought her home from the hospital. I try to follow wake windows, she feeds pretty much every 1.5-2 hours during the day, I follow a bedtime routine every night. I’m fucking done over it. At this point i’m just craving a 2 hour stretch at least. I’m so tired of waking every fucking hour.

EDIT TO ADD:

I’m open to advice and any tips on how to even begin to sleep train. I have no idea what method I would even use. She’ll be 6 months next week and my mom is coming for a visit so I feel like it’d be the perfect time to attempt it. I’m not 100% against it but I never planned to because I can’t stand letting her cry but my mom is a lot more tough than my husband and I lol

She is EBF I nurse her all day and night with the occasional 1 bottle of formula at bedtime hoping that would make her “fuller”.. it doesn’t. The longest stretch i’ve ever gotten was 4 which I can count on one hand. Her first stretch used to be 3 hours but now it’s down to 2 and each stretch after that is 45-min to an hour. I’m. fucking. exhausted. I can’t make any time for my husband at night because all I want to do is sleep while she sleeps. Her naps are horrible. She either has to contact nap or I need to put her in the car or stroller on a walk. She feeds to sleep for naps and night time so I know that’s probably the main issue but it’s the only thing that put her fast asleep. She hates the pacifier. Naps are only 30 minutes and she’ll only take 2 naps a day which would be fine if they were longer. Her bedtime is usually 8pm as in she’s asleep by 8 but sometimes it’s 8:30. This is the time that works for us because my husband and I go out a lot we just love outings and she comes everywhere with us. I’m losing my mind and just wish I could sleep again.

The first 2 months were hard but a piece of cake compared to the last 2.5 months. I feel like I’m in hell, and just don’t know what to do or what to try anymore.

My LO is almost 5 months old.

At 2.5 months my LO stopped sleeping. He never slept through the night before but he went from nights of 4 hours, then 3, then 2, and 1 hour before being awake for the day. To 2 or 3 hours of sleep and up every hour after that for the rest of the night.

So starting at 3.5 months I started a few sleep training things. Waiting 10-20 minutes to see if he settles, never did. Trying to comfort him back to sleep instead of feeding him, if it worked he was still up the next hour. I’ve been trying anything I could think of other than CIO and nothing changed.

Well I got desperate and we tried CIO, not full extinction, we started with waiting 20 minutes to see if he would settle and if he didn’t we would go out and comfort him and then wait 50, and the first night we even waited 2 hours after that. My mental health couldn’t handle that so I decided if he didn’t fall asleep after the 20 and 50 then I would feed him to get him to fall asleep. Well after a week of these rules, and slowly moving to even 30 and 60. He would only fall asleep first thing at night. Usually within 15 minutes. He has also fallen asleep well on his own for a few naps after this as well. He was also starting to do 5 hour stretches at the beginning of the night. Still up every 1-3 hours after that though. But he NEVER not once fell asleep from crying it out. So we stopped doing that.

I then heard about dream feeding. I tried that for one night. I woke up before him at 5 hours, picked him up and fed him and he slept straight through it. He woke up 3.5 hours later to feed again. But that was one of the best nights we have had. And since then (it’s been four nights) he hasn’t slept more than a 3 hour stretch again. Please send help I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to do CIO again, it helped a little but he would be up for 1-2 hours for every feed and it meant that I got less than 5 hours of sleep and I don’t know if I can do that again.

For wake windows I have been trying to get him to be awake for 2/2/2/2.5 but it’s usually more like 1.25/1.5/1.5/1.75/2 and that’s me trying to follow his cues so he doesn’t get over tired. Naps are anything from 5 minutes to 2 hours. But I’ve been trying to get him to take three 1.5 hour naps.

Bed time routine is an hour before bed (we aim for between 7:30-8 pm) we bathe him, Vaseline rub (he has bad eczema), trim his nails. We move to his bed room where the lights are dimmed and the noise machine is on 30 minutes before bed and read him a story or two. Then 15 minutes before bed we put him in his bassinet and let him fuss for 30 minutes.

Send help.

Hi again-

Posting again since my other post didn’t seem to get any traction.

I’m really struggling. I hired a sleep consultant and spent hundreds and they sucked. So I came to this page and had lots of help.

My LO is 5 months old and we were using a 2/2/2/2/2 schedule and it was working great until last week. Now we are having EMW and less than 20 minute naps. Past couple days I lengthened wake windows by 15-30 minutes and it seems like the 2 hours and 15 minutes might have helped so I did it again today and he fought going down so hard (he was very clearly exhausted; rubbing eyes, red eyebrows, fussy) and when he finally slept he woke up 15 mins later and I couldn’t even contact nap him back to sleep. His wake windows so far were 2/2.5/. I was going to try for a 3 nap day but I think given that he has only slept 45 min collectively today and it’s already 1:15pm where I am….i have to move to a 2/2.5/2/2/2 for the rest of the day.

Please help me, I get no time to myself anymore. I know short naps are age appropriate but 15 minutes 4 times a day just isn’t going to work.

I know it’s not common for babies to be overtired but is he? I feel like the more I keep him awake the worse sleep gets. But also the shorter the wake windows he fights going down so hard as if he isn’t tired. I really am at a loss.

Could it be a regression? I am begging for insight or help, please. I know this sounds so dramatic I just need relief.

Just want to share our success story in case it helps anyone! I recently sleep trained my 5.5 month old using the Taking Cara Babies ABC approach (basically Ferber). The first week had a lot of ups and downs and there were so many points that I wanted to cave and just go rock him and hold him. He was the type of baby to cry for 30 minutes every night as I rocked and nursed him to sleep and would wake 8-10 times a night crying. All in all, he cried a lot prior to sleep training.

Now that we sleep trained, he actually smiles up at me and shrieks with delight every night when I set him fully awake in his crib. It’s like he’s excited to go to sleep! It’s the sweetest thing. I can tell he’s all around just a happier, more confident baby. And he sleeps straight through the night now. It was so hard to choose to sleep train- I felt judged by so many. But I feel we traded a few nights of increased crying for months/years of a happy little sleeper.

I keep seeing sleep schedules and advice where 6am is treated as the ideal or expected wake-up time for babies. I’m genuinely curious why that is. Is it biologically driven, tied to circadian rhythms, or more about adult schedules (work, daycare, etc.)?

For parents whose babies wake later and are doing well — is there an actual downside? Or is 6am just a convention that became “normal” ?

Okay, so my 4 month and 3 week old son has had his 4 month sleep regression (he does seem to understand day and night at least) and he's currently teething. He's been waking 5-8 times a night since 3m. I just can't seem to get him to sleep more than 3 hours in a row.

He does 3 naps a day. 4 naps seem to have the same outcome and 3 works for us better. It's 2/2/2.5/2.5. He's actually a pretty good napper so I'm okay there!

Bedtime involves a bath 45min-1hour before bed, lotion massage, and a good feed. He will sometimes fall asleep during the feed but I try to keep him awake for the transfer. He goes in his bedside bassinet and typically has a false start. If not, he'll have his longest stretch here.

Throughout the night, he cries until I feed him, even 2 hours after a full feed. CIO doesn't work here. He typically ends up in my bed at this point because, when I transfer him back, he wakes up 15-30min after transfer. What do I do? Mama is losing sleep!!😭

EDIT: He USUALLY wakes up every 1-2 hours (3 hours once in a blue moon)

Newly 4 month old on the 2/2/2/2/2 schedule, but I’m really struggling to stay on this schedule without insanely late bedtime and/or waking her up from all sleep. Is this normal? She’s a good independent napper so she can reliably link nap 1, and nap 2 she wakes up after 45 min and needs minimal help to go back to sleep. Nap 3 flexes depending on how much sleep she got earlier and nap 4 is a micro at 15 minutes.

Yesterday she fought bedtime until 9pm (desired is 8pm, but she’s been doing 8:30pm with nap lengths and to fit the awake time).

I also always have to wake her up in the morning.

Should I shave down micro to get her down earlier? Don’t think she’s ready to drop because she reliably takes the micro and we only recently bumped first window to 2 by her lead.

Trade off is accept 10.5 hour night or shave down naps even further to get 11 hour nights.

I should’ve known to never comment on instagram especially when it comes to sleep training lmao. I simply commented on someone’s post about how they believe in sleep training and that there’s so much fear mongering surrounding it. I said pretty much how I agree and that if your child is sleeping with you they most likely aren’t getting the best sleep. & how good quality sleep is essential for brain development and cognitive function. I should’ve put that it was my personal experience and how every child is different but ofc I got attacked by the mom’s who told me I made no sense, that it’s not true, and yadayada.

My child is almost five months old and we sleep trained at four months and it was the best decision for us. He was waking so much throughout the night and now he sleeps 10hrs straight. I got my life back, my bed back, my husband back. My child still smiles at me every morning and every day. I just don’t understand.

I’ve posted here like 100 times already. I feel like a fool and a failure of a mother. Today I got worked up so much i forcefully threw a pacifier at the wall while holding my baby.

My son who is 4.5 mo now has been fighting his naps for 6 weeks in a row. We’ve extended the WWs from 1.5 h to up to 2.5h within a month time but it doesn’t seem to help at all.

He rubs his eyes, gets red and fussy at 2h mark now and when I try to put him to sleep to follow a 2.25/2.25/2.5/2.5 schedule that has worked well two days ago, he SCREAMS before each fucking nap. He starts crying when I start the nap routine because he knows what’s coming.

I wanted to put him to sleep by 2.25 h mark for the first nap and he ended up screaming for 40 mins.

Gentle nap training pinned in this sub doesn’t work because it always guarantees a 30 mins meltdown (15 mins in the crib + 15 mins in my arms as I try to calm him).

Putting him down earlier (like before 2h mark or even 1.5 h doesn’t work either).

I do not know what to do. I need help. PLEASE.

Am in talks with a sleep consultant about baby sleep, he is 5 months old. Just want to know (those with older babies or toddlers now) if your child is still keen to cuddle? A few friends with sleep trained babies (now toddlers) say they refuse a cuddle in bed.

Do your children still climb into bed once in a while? Or is my baby going to want to be stuck in his crib forever?

Update - did Ferber after this post changed our life. I just did 4 nights due to feeling no choice and omgggg life has changed only wakes three times and sleeps in cott transfers fine. Shooooooook

I have done two different sleep consultants I have followed every bit of correct advice online there is so unlikely I haven’t heard the advice that made your baby sleep. 5 month old. Wakes every single hour for months. Most nights we looking at 12 to 25 wakes this is not exaggerating. Cannot transfer so up and hour after he wakes doing transfers some nights he transfers but wakes in 5-15 mins. Some nights only sleeps in the crook of your arm yes I fully aware this is unsafe. Husband works a very hard job long hours and long travel and also travels weeks at a time overseas. I average when his home 3.5 hours sleep. When his gone I have gone days without sleep after 24 hours I get my parents over to do shifts with me. I am utilising daycare for my toddler who wakes at 5am so she goes twice a week. I’m at my wits end. Also on weekends if hauband is home i get longer stints of 6 plus hours but the help (thank god) is bandaid it doesn’t fix the problem it means i dont have a breakdown then i resume another week of no sleep. My first wasnt like this. Im on the verge. I’m staying a residential sleep school for babies in a 7 weeks costing and arm and a leg. But I don’t know how I gonna make it till then. Like I know I will, but I’m in tears atm I just can’t see it getting better. Somehow I don’t have ppd or ppa, I do feel my mental health slipping though. I have told the community baby nurses I have called the parent lines I follow the exact advice. I have told my doctor I have a ped referral but I think it’s just my babies temperament. I can’t imagine Ferber with him I did with my first but if he wakes and can’t see me from just a nap he is hysterical. I don’t even know what I asking but I just venting. I’m on a total of 5.5 hours sleep in 48 hours. And it’s been months of this. I just so over it additionally co sleeping doesn’t work as half the issue is a flat surface.

Sincerely, someone mentally preparing to start tomorrow night.

My baby has never been a good sleeper.
He is almost 5 months and the regression has hit us hard. The naps are okay-ish but he wakes every 1.5h at night to feed and needs to be rocked back to sleep. He also wants starts the day at 5am even after going down at 7pm.

I shared my frustrations with many parents and friends and they seem to be doing all fine and sleeping at night. Which makes me question are they all lying about their babies being good sleepers or am I doing something really wrong with my kid? We have a bedtime routine and wake windows are usually 2h max since he can't handle more. We also use the huckleberry app but it seems to all be a waste of time.

I’m really struggling and could use some encouragement from parents who’ve been here.

My baby has been swaddled arms-down since birth and lately sleeps pretty well when swaddled. But he’s starting to show early signs of rolling, so I know we need to transition… and wow, the last few days broke me.

I tried arms-out for the first time and it was absolute chaos. Took over an hour to get him down, constant jolting, frantic arm flailing, crying on and off. Eventually he fell asleep, only to jolt himself fully awake after 30 minutes, screaming.

What makes this harder is that sleep has already been a long road for us. Short naps are common. Lots of false starts. He’s super sensitive to being overtired. Wake windows feel like a constant guessing game. Even on “good” days, sleep feels fragile. I’ve done sleep school stays and in house sleep training. He’s 4.5 mths old now.

I know rolling means it’s not optional. I know this is normal. I know there’s no magic fix. But right now I just feel exhausted, emotional, and like I’ve undone all the progress we’ve made. We used to deal with max 30 min naps and the near constant 45 min wakes at night up until few weeks ago and I’m just dreading going back there.

If you’ve transitioned a baby who was very dependent on the swaddle How bad was it for you? How long did it take to improve? Did you go cold turkey or gradual?

Please tell me your baby eventually stopped waking themselves up every sleep cycle 😭

I don’t need sleep training advice just reassurance that this phase ends and I’m not failing my baby.

Thanks if you read this far. I’m running on very little sleep and a lot of doubt 💔

While I have read so many sleep tips that I can’t imagine I’ll stumble upon any new info, I figured I’d still try my luck here because my husband and I are losing our minds!

LO is 5 months old, EBF but takes bottles with no issue. Currently treated for reflux with Famotadine 2x a day. Normal weight gain and overall development. She feeds on demand every 2-3 hours during the day.

She is amazing and mostly happy and playful and interactive during the day, but sleep has been the biggest challenge of our lives. All I see is parents trying to night wean or reduce night wake ups from 2-1-0 times a night, and I can’t even dream of that kind of sleep.

We follow the huckleberry app sweet spot recommendations, but mostly follow her cues. I’ve been able to get rid of the nurse to sleep association, and she now gets a bottle during our night time routine and falls asleep in our arms with a pacifier. Until about 2 weeks ago we had to rock and bounce and shhh for what seemed like an eternity before she fell asleep. We tweaked wake windows, tried extending naps, contact napped exclusively, etc.

Bed time routine- bath, bottle, book, song, sleep sack and owlet sock, white noise, hug.

She has never been a great sleeper but at first we chalked it up to newborns being newborns. About 2 months ago shit started hitting the fan and she would wake up every 45 minutes and could not be transferred to the bassinet without screaming. We figured it was the 4-mo sleep regression.

About 3 weeks ago I was able to put her to sleep for the night by placing her in the bassinet and laying on top of her patting her back and holding her pacifier until she fell asleep. I was STUNNED. The bassinet became too small as she started rolling so we started to transition her to her crib. And now we’re fucked.

Now at 5 months, things haven’t improved much except for that we can eventually move her to her bed.

She only sleeps in our arms. All naps are contact naps and she wakes immediately if you try to transfer. She falls asleep pretty quickly at night in my arms with little to no motion, just some ssshh and pacifier. She will consistently wake up 30-60 minutes after falling asleep (false start?) even in my arms before I attempt a transfer. Takes forever to get her back to sleep.

She then wakes up every 45 minutes-2 hours before starting the day at 6-6:30am.

Bedtime is anywhere between 6-7:30pm. Wake windows are anywhere between 1-2.5 hours depending. Feels like we can’t have consistent WW because of her terrible sleep. Current schedule varies but is usually 1-1.5/1.5-2/2.5/2.5. Naps 2.5-4 hours total. Sleeps 6-7:30 to 6-7:30.

For a few days there it seemed that we were transitioning from 4-3 naps, but it’s kind of unclear.

We tried the chair method which failed miserably and led to her being overtired for days. It wasn’t even the crying that was the problem- it was that she was tired at first and then wired and didn’t fall asleep even 2 hours in. Eventually I picked her up and she fell asleep in my arms within a few minutes.

My husband and I don’t see each other. She goes down for her longest stretch (2ish maybe 3 hours) at around 9pm, and by then we are so exhausted that we eat dinner, shower, and go to sleep before her next waking 30 minutes later.

We’re not comfortable with CIO or Ferber, but at this point are at a complete loss.

I don’t know if I’m venting into the void at this point, but if anyone has had a similar experience or any advice, it would be sooooo appreciated!

Edit: didn’t write wake windows correctly!

Our LO is 4 months old, takes 3 naps per day (4 if the midday nap is very short), capping total daytime napping at 3-3.5 hrs per day, and trying our best to keep her up for 2 hour WWs (1st is shorter, 4th is longer). Our sleep records on huckleberry are showing 10.5 h night sleep and 3.5 h day napping on average for the past few weeks (14 h sleep over 24 h). Bedtime routine: nurse / bath / diaper / lotion / PJs / sing+cuddle.

We are over 1 week into CIO: Night 1: 90 min; Night 2: 47 min; Night 3: 38 min; Night 4: 80 min; Night 5: 47 min; Night 6: 7 min; Night 7: 46 min; Night 8: 33 min.

Is this a normal trend? This still feels like a lot of crying :(

Our LO also started crying during the bath part of her night time routine about 4 nights ago (before she was a happy bather). Is she just aware that it's bedtime and resisting it?