r/sleeptrain • u/Safe-Bath-5024 • 13d ago
4 - 6 months Do your sleep trained babies still want to cuddle before bed? Or anywhere else?
Am in talks with a sleep consultant about baby sleep, he is 5 months old. Just want to know (those with older babies or toddlers now) if your child is still keen to cuddle? A few friends with sleep trained babies (now toddlers) say they refuse a cuddle in bed.
Do your children still climb into bed once in a while? Or is my baby going to want to be stuck in his crib forever?
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u/Ocean_Lover9393 13d ago
My kids are 7, 5 and 18 months old and I cannot keep them away from me when we are in the same room together 😂😂 there is no such thing as personal space to any of them
All 3 of them are sleep trained
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u/WaitLauraWho 13d ago
ST toddler is almost 3. Part of our bedtime routine is laying in mom and dad’s bed. Lots of snuggles and the he whispers “want to go to my bed”. Best of both worlds
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u/Snoo-12313 13d ago
My girl is 16 months old and has been sleep trained since 5 months. She won't cuddle in bed with me or sleep with me there like she used to, but she likes to live in my lap on the couch. I get plenty of snuggles 🥰
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u/moomeymoo 13d ago
I can’t comment on the cuddling, but as an aside…
I’m sure you’ve done your due diligence but please be mindful when talking to sleep consultants. It’s an industry that is entirely unregulated, anybody can call themselves a sleep consultant regardless of whether they have any appropriate qualifications, training, or experience.
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u/Safe-Bath-5024 13d ago
That’s totally fair and I appreciate you looking out! The individual I am speaking with is a registered clinical counsellor and a few people have recommended her after having their babies sleep trained so hopefully she is the real deal and not going to hurt my baby! But you’re so right it is an unregulated industry I have just noticed this
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u/stardustnmagick 13d ago
Mine is only a month ahead and definitely still wants to cuddle, the narrative around loss of attachment needs to stop. I think all kids go through phases otherwise nothing has changed here!
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u/dustynails22 13d ago
My twin boys are now 4.5 years old and sometimes I wish they would cuddle me less hahaaaa. They are very loving and will both climb into bed with us in the morning for a brief snuggle, or just come up to me randomly in the day and ask for a cuddle and a kiss.
I do think its more of a temperament/personality thing, and also just part of our relationship. For example, sometimes they need to pay me in kisses if they want my help.
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u/ThatAlgae6821 13d ago
My twins are 12 months (sleep trained at 10 months) and are still very, very, very cuddly.
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u/ughtheinternet 13d ago
My baby hates cuddling 😅
Part of that is just her personality but I do think there’s an element of sleep training. Like, she gets tired and wants to sleep so she gets squirmy because she wants me to put her in her sleep place.
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u/Adventurous_Win1249 11MO | CIO @ 5.5 MO | complete 13d ago
I truly believe wanting to cuddle or not is purely personality / developmental. My baby hated ‘cuddling’ as an infant. He’s been sleep trained since he was 6MO. He just turned 1 and only recently has he wanted to ‘cuddle’ 😅
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u/Cbsanderswrites 13d ago
We actually had to sleep train for naps because my baby stopped wanting contact naps AND was refusing the crib. She would only sleep in the swing (which I hated, made me so anxious and I would watch her like a hawk), or in her carrier with us walking......which just isn't always an option.
We did a very modified ferber at 3.5 months that was insanely gentle. It was a slow process but she started to nap in her crib eventually. She still didn't want to contact nap though, which kinda broke my heart.
But when she was sick with the flu for the first time a few months later, she slept on me all day. She would just crawl in my lap and fall asleep with her head on my shoulder. It was sweet. Now she gives lots of hugs and cuddles. Still likes her own sleeping space typically though.
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u/Calieahrens 13d ago
I have a very wiggly and climby baby so I can’t say that he wants to cuddle in bed, when we read our nightly books he’s crawling all over the bed trying to play games. However he is still a clingy baby who requires me to be on the floor with him when he plays and now he will come over to me and hug me or lay his head down on me for a second before going back to playing. Oh also plenty of open mouth kisses 😅. So I’d say the snuggles don’t end just cause you sleep train.
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u/sun_kissed87 13d ago
My LO isn’t a toddler but she’s almost 11 months I rock her for about 5-10 mins before a nap (I make sure she’s awake when laid down in her crib) bed time is usually about 5 mins also sleep trained but that way she & I get cuddles before bed.
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u/Relevant-Raise-8835 13d ago
I did a gentle sleep training that involved pick up put down and bum patts. We sleep trained at 7 months. He sleeps through the night from 8 months until now (12 months). He is the cuddliest little boy I have ever met. I still rock him to sleep on those hard days but because he learned how to self soothe he doesn’t wake up in the night and cry out for me.
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u/Ok_Stress688 13d ago
I sleep trained at 9 months. My son will be 2 next week. Some days before bed or nap, he just wants his bed. Some days, he wants to cuddle. He does routinely like to sit and cuddle and read books at the start of our routine and throughout the day though. He’s quite snuggly still, just different times!
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u/Common-Effective2630 13d ago
We have always done bed time stories and songs in our bed with my now 20mo before carrying her to her room. She isnt communicating if she enjoys cuddles yet but she has a great time tumbling around in our bed and letting us give her snuggles and kisses so I think the answer is yes!
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u/109876ersPHL 2 y/o | PLS SLIP | complete @ 6 mos. 13d ago
My son generally prefers to sleep in his crib but we cuddle and read books on the sofa or in his room for 30 mins. before bed.
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u/smileystarfish 13d ago
My 17 month old daughter loves a cuddle and would happily sleep on us if we allowed it. When she's struggling with teething, sometimes cosleeping is the only way to soothe her.
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u/loquaciouspenguin 13d ago
My son is 2.5. We sleep trained at 4 months and he is still a cuddler during our bedtime routine. I’ve also still gotten contact naps when out and about if he’s really tired, or also when he’s sick. I was worried all cuddling and contact naps would go away after sleep training, and I’m happy to report that isn’t the case.
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u/loquaciouspenguin 13d ago
I just saw your question about climbing into bed. We never allowed that, so it just wasn’t an option. He’s in a “big boy” bed now and doesn’t crawl out of it to us, but again that’s by design. I fear that’s a slippery slope and once you allow it, there’s no going back and it’s confusing to them to sometimes let it happen and other times say no. So if we’re at home, his sleep is always in his bed.
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u/painterstateofmind 13d ago
Can’t comment on in the future, but we’re currently sleep training our 5.5 month old too and we make cuddling part of our night routine! I still put her down awake, but I feel like we both need the couple minutes of cuddling before she goes down
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u/Strawbs-and-bluebs 13d ago
14m son loves a cuddle in the mornings (especially he still gets breastfed) and also after a nap!l when he's a bit groggy still.
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u/pineapplesaltwaffles 13d ago
We never co-slept and did a bit of light sleep training at 6 months. He's almost 10 months now and loves his cuddles. The best guaranteed way to lure him across a room is to sit down and pull my top up so he can see my bare tummy - he always scrambles straight over to giggle and nuzzle in. He also likes to stand up and push his face against mine - he'll come over to do this about every 10 minutes or so when he's playing 🥰
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u/brittanyd687 13d ago
My toddler 2.5 cuddles before bed. He always sleeps in his own bed but we cuddle for movies etc
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u/Fabulous_Ant1088 7M | CIO | complete at 4M 13d ago
My 6,5 month old is the biggest cuddle monster! He digs his head into my neck and cuddles, he does it to people holding him who aren’t me as well
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u/verminqueeen 13d ago
Both my kids are well past baby age and still like a cuddle and closeness before bed.
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u/Happy_Medium12 14m | Ferberish | complete 13d ago
My sleep trained 14 month old still definitely loves snuggles although he’s not one to cuddle in bed (he’s too excited to be there to settle). We sleep trained at six months and he still likes to be rocked and sung to throughout the day, particularly if he’s upset for any reason. On weekend mornings we go get him and bring him to our bed for some snuggles. He’ll cuddle a bit but he mostly wants to play because 1) it’s morning! And 2) he loves getting to check out our room.
Also, just my two cents on sleep consultants, please be careful before paying someone to tell you how to get your baby to sleep. This is an entirely unregulated industry and there are no repercussions if they give you bad or even unsafe advice. I understand and completely empathize willing to do anything to get some sleep (I went through the desperation myself and am a strong advocate of sleep training) but there are free or cheap resources out there that aren’t preying on exhausted new parents. See this article that came out recently on sleep consultants giving dangerous advice to parents: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ce84e1vn1l2o
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u/AnnieBanannie4 13d ago
My 9 month old, sleep trained at 5 months and EBF still, has only ever been a cuddler around feeding time and right before bed but that didn’t change with sleep training. I still rock him and sing him a lullaby before bed and he’ll snuggle up in my arms before I lay him down in his crib and let him fall asleep on his own. We’ve had bouts of teething, travel, and illness where I’ve needed to assist him to sleep but we’ve always bounced back to our routine after the disruptions pass
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u/Skysongz 13d ago
We cuddle in the morning. He comes to big bed for morning cuddles, sleeps in his own bed by himself just fine. He’s almost 3 now. We read, chat about everything we did that day, sing a lullaby, and then he tells me to go take a shower 😆 sometimes with a sassy “you don’t want to but you have to”.
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u/MrsNuvix 13d ago
Our bedtime routine starts with cuddles and books in big bed and then we move on to hers. We also cuddle a lot in the morning.
BUT I have never been able to cuddle and sleep with her and she’s 17 months now. On bad nights if we bring her to our bed, she associates it as play time and doesn’t know that she can sleep there. It’s sad really. Even now on bad nights I sit in her chair and make her sleep in my arms and it’s exhausting. We will soon be moving to floor bed and hopefully then it gets better for us.
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u/Educational_Ad_4641 13d ago
My son is 10 months. Sleep trained at 9 months. He definitely is a real mover right now and his love of cuddles has changed since sleep training. He used to sometimes sleep in our bed and he would hold on to me in some way and often need touch.
Now our cuddles consist of reading time, first thing in the morning he always hugs me when I take him out of bed, he loves to be held and carried around. I do sing and rock him before bed but if he’s tired he will push off me and want his bed.
Funniest thing: I was comforting him once with back rubs in his crib and he literally smacked my hand away and turned around. We have it on tape bc he have a nanit!!
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u/Puzzleheaded_Box_339 13d ago
I can’t imagine this is a thing? Don’t all babies like physical closeness? My 7.5 month old hasn’t learnt what cuddles are, but we spend SO much time playing with him climbing all over me and my snuggling into his neck; not to mention carrying him around the house, singing and dancing whilst holding him close, cuddling in our big bed in the morning, its all cuddling to me? We sleep trained at 5 months and he falls asleep independently but sometimes we co sleep from 5:30-6.30am (mainly nursing and dozing) or for an afternoon snooze.
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u/SocialStigma29 2.75y & 7m |CIO & Ferber| complete at 4.5m 13d ago
My toddler is turning 3 in July. He loves cuddling with us now (didn't as a baby). He sits in our lap when reading books and we lay in his twin bed together before saying good night. He would like to sleep in the same room as us but he has a baby gate across his door. The few times we've room shared again when travelling, he's been way too excited and doesn't sleep until 10:30.
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u/dooroodree 13d ago
My daughter was never a cuddler. I never understood cosleeping because if I put her in bed with me she’d think it was play time.
We sleep trained at 5 months and she still wasn’t a cuddler. But as time has gone on, and she’s moved from being a baby to a toddler, she’s got infinitely more cuddly. If sick and she wakes at night, she needs us to lay with her to go back down. She gives us cuddles and kisses before bed, and will purposefully cuddle while reading books. It’s so lovely considering as a baby she just wanted to explore.