r/polyadvice • u/Livid-Satisfaction13 • 21h ago
Anxiety when hearing my partners have sex. NSFW
Connections :
My BF and GF are husband and wife.
Lore: We've been together for 3 years. I recently moved in to study local to them and have my own room. They share a room. GF and I haven't had sex in a little over a year due to stress and medical diagnosis' that she's still getting to grips with. I'm autistic.
I get really anxious when I hear my partners have sex together. I have no problems with listening to porn or hearing my own sex noises.
I don't have any resentment about the 2 of them having sex, I like the fact that they have sex together. But I get the most horrific ball of anxiety my the pit of my stomach whenever they do.
I asked if they could give me a little heads up before they get down and dirty just so I can mentally prepare myself and not have a weird freak out but my gf got... annoyed?... irritated? (I'm not entirely sure, but she seemed unhappy). She said that she didn't want to have to tell me when she has sex with her husband as they do it so infrequently anyway and it feels weird to have to tell me.
Something that I haven't brought up with her is that she asks that her husband (my bf) tell her whenever he and I have sex, yet she never asked me if I was ok with it.
Is there anyway I can get over this? Does anyone have any coping mechanisms they can recommend?