Feeling a little defeated

[u/kittycouture5683]

Hey girls, I dont really have any one else who understands that I can rant to so please forgive me for doing it here but I walked in to work this morning and my boss came over and gave his greeting than asked if I did anything this weekend. I had a super bad flare and so I just had to be bedridden. I told him I didnt do much and he gave me such a funky look and said "jeez. You're 23 and youre doing absolutely nothing with your life. Just gonna waste away huh" and ive been crying ever since. Its just so fucking frustrating. Like I dont want to be this way. I don't want to be in agonizing pain every second of every day constantly nauseous with leg pain that makes them go numb and I cant walk. I dont want to have to be in bed throughout the whole weekend or cancel plans because I can't get out of bed but thats what this disease has done to me. Even the surgery didnt help much. And he isnt even the first person to have said something along the lines of that to me. It makes me feel so fucking worthless all of the time. And even if I didnt have a chronic disease and just wanted to spend my time in the house, who cares? Why say that to anyone? Ugh

[u/Sensitive_Coconut_36]

Thank you for sharing. I haven't been on this app in months because I thought it was negative for my mental health, but I've been struggling lately. I was in grad school for my dream career, but I recently had to put that down for the time being due to the fatigue and brain fog. You coming on here venting showed me I'm not alone, and neither are you. I'm loud about my disease to prevent people from saying stuff like that, but nonetheless, it still happens. The other day at work a customer asked me if I recently had a baby. I didn't. I was just having a good day after a long bout of bloating. He wasn't trying to be mean, but it hurt in ways I don't think he understood. I was able to shut my brain off to it while at work, but once I got home I cried. I want to be a mom so bad. It torturous that this disease mimics pregnancy in some ways. It affects us in so many ways. I hope life gets easier for you soon. 💛

[u/Gilded-golden]

He sounds like a massive loser who wants to know all about people’s personal lives at work. Also, like he just doesn’t know how to have a good conversation and relies on other people telling good stories to make the effort for him.

When I’m at work I would say the exact same thing about my weekend even if I’d spent the entire time skydiving lol, it’s literally none of his business at all. Maybe he was mean because he suspected you of doing the exact same thing and doesn’t like women setting boundaries around personal life/work life with him, and feels entitled to you sucking up to him 

Also, people’s judgments always tell you more about them than yourself; clearly he feels unhappy in his job and that he’d be “doing absolutely nothing” with his own life if it weren’t for his drinking weekends or whatever 

[u/Yo-perreo-sola → u/Gilded-golden]

This, absolutely. And I have also found that middle aged middle managers vicariously and parasocially live though young employees' lives as a source of entertainment. There is nothing going on in their lives which is why they are nosy about young people. It is disturbing how much some of these people want coworkers to be a sitcom character for entertainment. They get angry when people don't share any fun stories from their lives. 

[u/Mental-Newt-420]

Oh honey :( If your work has an HR department, I would heavily consider reporting that interaction. Thats not only insanely unprofessional, its heinous coming from your BOSS. Thats really not okay. Im so sorry ❤️‍🩹

[u/Humble-Aspect-2828]

What privilege he must have to not be a twenty-three year old woman going through a full-body disease that mimics all 9 hallmarks of cancer, is significantly under researched, and ignored for years as a "bad period" or "low pain tolerance." I hope he discovers what is making him so miserable soon before he loses his job over comments like that. The mental toll can sometimes be worse than the physical one.

[u/dollyboochky]

I literally feel this in my bones. I’m 24, I want to be experiencing things. It’s exhausting when family members or strangers act like I should be able to have some Kind of routine or schedule for my chronic illness. But also people need to just shut out about how people manage and spend their time especially if it’s not harming anyone!

My time even when I am well is generally not being spent doing things most people in main stream demographic of 24 yrs would be up to and that’s ok. Everyone should be get to do what brings them joy especially when given the opportunity.