...who give unsolicited advice and inflate themselves as being some type of parenting gurus. A close second are parents of older kids who seem to have forgotten what it was like in the first two years. And third place are semi-involved dads who aggrandize their parenting, but you can tell there's an unspoken mom in the background who's carrying too much.

Obviously there are empathetic one-child parents, but I've recently started asking "how many kids do you have?" when someone's response feels particularly apathetic or judgmental. It's always "just the one for now."

Deep breaths, y'all, deep breaths 🫠

And just want to end by saying that I appreciate this sub, which is mostly full of people who can't help but understand the ridiculousness of this 2 under 2 business. Thanks for being here.

Two under two was absolutely insane. My daughter was 18 months old when my son was born, and it felt like the first 4-5 months were a nonstop circus of chaos and stress (granted, we had other tough life circumstances happening at that time, but it was really rough and I didn’t think I’d make it some days).

We’re having another baby in June, and my husband and I were looking at photos of our first two and reminiscing together about the good and hard times. I said, “I don’t think I could do it again, honestly! I’m just glad (Oldest) will be three when this one is born.”

He paused and looked at me funny, then said, “But (Second) won’t be two yet.” And that’s when it hit.

Our son will be 19 months when this new baby is born.

We’re doing two under two again, but with a three year old in tow.

As my almost three year old daughter says, “Lord, have mercy.”

Anyone else in this boat?

You know, I pride myself on a being a very routine mom, always prepared, always thinking ahead and staying on top of things. What I didn’t realize is that that comes to a head the first time both the kids get sick.

I have spent all day cleaning up vomit, changing mattress covers and sheets, Lysol wiping things touched, and furiously trying to get the vomit smell to leave my house and our toddler’s hands. We did a vinegar soak and some of my shampoo which helped with the smell in his hair, but his hands won’t stop smelling like throw up.

Anyway, today is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It is 4:30 pm and I still haven’t eaten anything for the day, mostly from nausea due to the vomit.

The kiddos are ok, both acting like their normal goofy selves, thank goodness.

Truly got my butt handed to me.

I actually regret ever complaining before hand. I took my toddler to her swimming class today now I’ve had my post-birth all clear. It was SO easy just having her to look after. It was actually a dream. Don’t get me wrong, I actually feel like I’ve got lucky with my 2nd baby being pretty chill and it’s been a lot easier than I anticipated having 2 under 2… but logistically it was so easy today. I had FREE HANDS.

It's only been a week since baby #2 arrived, and I know it will eventually (probably? hopefully?) normalize a bit more but right now I'm sat crying in the middle of the night while nursing the baby because I miss my firstborn

Even though she's right there. I went from being with her 24/7 to getting 10 minutes here and there, and it hurts so bad. I know it just has to be this way for now but it sucks

Feeling anxious about how I’m going to lug around my very active 30 lb toddler when I have 7 weeks of pregnancy left. I feel big, uncomfortable, swollen, sleep is hit or miss. Just trying to take it day by day. Hoping it’s somehow a little easier when the new baby is here.

This 18 month gap is still killing me almost two years in. It got easier for a while then my oldest turned into a threenager and it got super hard again.

I can’t believe people choose this on purpose! I don’t regret my second baby boy, I love him so much, but I can’t ever seem to stop regretting how close they are in age. I feel like I’d be a much better mom if that had been the case.

That’s what it feels like my body thinks is happening when taking care of 2u2 alone lol. Tell me this goes away. My cortisol levels have got to be at an all time high. During nap time I literally just lay horizontal and deep breathe to try to feel normal ☠️

I do not remember being this miserable with my daughter… I was in the office most days of the week up until 38 weeks, running errands, and socializing with friends. This time around I’m barely able to get out of bed at 34 weeks. Thank God for my husband. He is doing 90% of the childcare while I feel nauseous and like I’m going to pass out. But even still it’s impossible for him to stay on top of house chores alone while taking care of her. All I want is to be able to do the bare minimum around here without feeling like I’m dying 😭

I’m done.

This last 8 days I’ve slept for about an hour. Not exaggerating.

3 of them was because of period insomnia

The rest was the kids.

Either one or both fuxking the night up and I’m done.

If feel sick

I’ve got a never ending migraine which is getting worse and worse over the last 3 days

Honestly just feel like I’m dying.

2.75yrs and 1.5yrs

Didn’t get to sleep till 1am last night.

Then toddler wakes at 3 and basically keep laying on me or kicked my head trying to get comfortable. Kept waking every 20mins and I eventually gave up at 6:30am

I already took yesterday off work.

I only started 2 weeks ago and I am falling behind. I’ve just got no energy

I have two kids with a 15-month age gap, and honestly - it’s a lot. I’m not miserable or depressed, but I wouldn’t say I’m enjoying it either. Most days I feel like I’m just getting through, always looking ahead to the next day or the next break, especially daycare days. I know this time is fleeting so I feel bad I look forward to the days being over.

I love my kids. My toddler sleeps well, which is a gift, but my 3-month-old really doesn’t. His evenings are tough - lots of crying, feeding issues, and he still feels so fragile. Because of that, I end up going to bed when he does just so I’m not completely wrecked the next day. But it also means I feel like I’m missing out on any kind of adult life.

I think I’m coping okay, but it’s definitely not fun. I’m just holding out hope that it gets better when the baby is more settled and can actually interact with my toddler. If you’ve been through this - when did it get easier for you?

i posted here when i first found out i was expecting about a damn stroller when i should have been asking how to survive the third trimester. i feel like a HORRID mother. my husband helps as much as he can but he has to work because money doesn't grow on trees. i am in pain 95% of the time and the 10% i'm not is when i'm sleeping. i can barely spend quality time with my daughter because of stabbing hip/pelvic pain. it hurts so bad to sit. i do make a habit of laying in her play pen with her daily whenever i can make myself wince thru the pain. i have rib pain so bad it takes my breath away, it goes into my back. on top of all of this, we do not have a village where we reside. we live with my mother because our move went sideways, and she has not been a help at all. didn't baby proof anything, doesn't interact with my daughter, leaves dishes for days on end, and acts like i am burdening her when i ask for help. she really pissed me off when she asked if everything was okay when i was waddling in pain to the kitchen and when i snapped " no " she said " oh i meant with *daughters name* " yes, we do have a few places that are move-in ready picked out and are preparing to leave her home before anyone gets on a high horse. i get a shower once a week. i constantly feel greasey and gross. i'm always in pain. i am 100% dealing with some form of depression from this. i have started applying for jobs so i can use it as a break from motherhood, sad but true. motherhood is hard when you have literally nobody.

Update: I gave birth 2 days ago at 38 weeks and feel IMMENSELY better both mentally and physically! My daughter and son have both been amazing.

I knew this would be hard. I knew it would be even harder as a single mom. But my god. I have a 6 month old and 2 year old. I found out I was pregnant again 1 week after me and their father separated. I still wanted another baby so I thought “I can do this!”.

I’m so, so burnt out. Physically from managing the 2yo’s tantrums, and the 6mo needing to be held all the time, ripping my hair out, crying at me. The constant sleep deprivation. Mentally burnt out from their father dragging out a custody process, saying he wants more custody and then immediately going back on it whenever it’s offered to him. Plus his threats of withholding our children from me over any. little. thing.

I’m counting down the hours every day until I can go to bed and restart the process the next day. I’m heavily relying on family and support services just to get through each day. I feel like a bad mom for not being as present for my kids as I could be if I wasn’t at my witts end. I feel guilt for how much attention the baby demands from me, and takes away from my 2yo.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel where both kids are older and won’t be so physically reliant on me and can play together, but it feels so far away. I’m trying to enjoy my 2nd’s baby stage since he’s a much happier, easier baby than my 1st was. But it’s so f*cking hard. You don’t realise just HOW hard until you’re already in it.

Just had a baby girl 3 days ago. My son is 19 months today. I’m so happy to be home with my babies and I’m enjoying both of them so much but omg it’s so hard. I dont have time for ANYTHING other than mom-ing. No time to cook, do dishes, do laundry, etc. I forgot how newborns want to nurse and be held 24/7. My toddler is adjusting pretty well considering he’s a toddler and I’m prioritizing him whenever possible. My mom has been dropping off food and doing things around the house and bringing gifts and new toys to my toddler so that is super helpful, but I feel like I’m never going to adjust or have time to do anything. Please tell me it gets easier 😅

I want to start off by stating that I have a VERY good support system and I know I get much more help than the average person. I know I’m very blessed. My situation could be much, much worse. I don’t need any advice. I just need to vent, not rant, about how I’m feeling right now.

I have a 19mo and a 7mo old, I have T1D and I am overwhelmed. We live with my in laws and my husband and MIL are WONDERFUL about helping and giving me breaks and rest when I need it. Between the two of them, they did 95% of the daily care of our toddler when I was pregnant with our youngest and was physically incapable of doing so myself.

Now our 7mo is here and he’s SUCH a needy baby and now he’s teething. Our entire household was sick a few weeks ago and because of my diabetes, I’m still struggling to get better when everyone else has fully healed and forgotten about it. For example, I get winded and light headed just from getting in the floor and changing a diaper.

I feel like a burden because everyone is having to help me do what a normal mom would be able to do with ease. I feel like a bad mom because I can’t get through a full day without feeling like I need help. My husband is afraid to find a job because he knows I’m incapable of taking care of our kids on my own and I refuse to put them in daycare or send them to a babysitter.

I’m so frustrated because every time I start to feel better and gain some energy back, something happens to knock me back down and this time it’s taking SO LONG for me to recover. I love my kids and I love caring for them. It breaks my heart that I just can’t give them 100%. They deserve the world. I feel like such a failure. I just want to feel better. 😩😭

Seriously how. How are you juggling bedtime on your own (no support from husband/partner) with both kids. I’m at my breaking point with my 22mo and 3mo. Toddler constantly scares the baby with loud noises and goes out of his way to wake him up. Then the baby crying prevents my toddler from sleeping. I resettle the baby after hours and then my toddler starts the cycle all over again. I’m so tired of the anger and stress that I feel at night and I hate resorting to yelling at my toddler to be quiet and lay down, I cry from how guilty it makes me feel. Bedtime on average takes 3-4 hours every night and I can’t keep doing this. I do not have anyone to help me at night.

Between all the overnight wakings with my 10 week old, baby wearing and chasing after my 22mo during the day, every morning when I wake up my whole body feels broken. I knew that being a single mom to 2u2 would be hard but I didn’t expect my own body to be the thing making it harder!!

Fellow moms and dads, am I the only one who feels like babywearing is constantly applauded, but the realities and pains of needing to wear your baby 24/7 are ignored? My second daughter is 12 weeks old, and my oldest is 18 months. Trying to manage both children is already a challenge, but babywearing my second child has really helped me get things done. I am grateful for this fact, however; sometimes it feels it’s at the detriment of my own body’s limitations. It feels like I’m sacrificing everything and my body is paying for it. My back hurts so much I can’t skip ibuprofen every day, and just the idea of going to the bathroom with my toddler. Sounds amazing. Can anyone else relate? Are we all just in love with babywearing and ignoring the cons? If ever, when did you say enough was enough?

Edit: forgot to even mention that we’re in the middle of moving house and in the UK the process in a nightmare and you basically don’t know if it’s going to happen until the last minute. At first we were sure we’d be in at least a month before the new baby is born - now it’s likely I’ll be moving house with a 2 week old and a 13 month old. In our current flat my daughter sleeps in a cot pushed up against my husband’s work desk and there’s no room for a playpen so I need to have eyes/hands on her at all times.

I’m 30 weeks pregnant and main parent to my 10 month old baby girl while my husband works full time and some weekends. I am aching. I am exhausted. I don’t know how I’m going to do this for another 10+ weeks while she and I both get bigger.

Luckily my husband has been able to work from home most days for the last couple of weeks, so he has breakfast with us and can help me get her into the buggy a couple of times a day. Sometimes he will come in and help for 5 mins if he hears crying. But his hours are long and usually he can only help for ~45 mins around bedtime in the evening. When he goes into work, and he will have to go in almost every day for the next three weeks, it is often just me and the baby from the time she wakes up to when she goes to sleep.

My survival strategies have always been going to loads of baby classes and making lots of plans with friends to stay busy and go out, but that’s getting harder and harder with my aches and exhaustion. I stay at my parents once a fortnight with the baby to get extra help, and try to see them during the day once a week.

The hardest parts are making sure we’re both fed and getting her to sleep. She sleeps well at night (usually one wake up in 12 hours) but I have pregnancy insomnia so I can’t get the full benefits, and she only naps for 2x 30 mins during the day while I’m pushing her in the buggy, so there’s not really any break in the day.

I’m not precious about screen time. We often have the TV on in the background, but she gets bored of it after a few minutes and wants to climb on me. I can’t really do the washing up or cook without her wanting to climb all over me.

I don’t know what I’m asking for. Just shouting into the void and would love to hear that it gets better.

My 19m old has been up most of the night, newborn is crying in his bouncer wanting to be held, toddler is crying because I said I’d make her more strawberries 5 minutes ago and I’m crying as I feel overwhelmed and overstimulated.

Send help. When does it get better 🥲

So I’m almost 4 months postpartum with my youngest. Oldest is 18mo. I just got home from surprise-appendix-goes-bye-bye surgery today. I’m in pain, I cannot lift anything over ten pounds (baby is 12 lol) and I’m not supposed to do much bending for the next 2-4 weeks. I’m having to pump and dump for the next ten days while I finish a round of antibiotics. Baby was ebf before this and is now taking formula and I’m so scared she won’t want to nurse after this. My husband has no leave from his job the best they can do for him is let him work from home with flexible hours. This leaves him doing everything physical for the kids, giving me time to pump, and working all through the day and night. He’s already so stressed. We have some family members that are going to be coming on and off through the week but they all work still so help is very limited. I’ve never been in a situation like this where I am so very needed yet almost completely worthless. I’m hoping I heal up at super speed. Anyone else had this surgery? How’d you heal? Anyone been in a similar situation? Could use encouragement, ideas, solidarity, anything.

My preemie came home a couple days ago after 3 months in the NICU 🎉 So we’re getting used to having a just-turned 4-year-old, a 22 month old and newborn!

You just have to laugh at the end of the day 😂

Hey everyone,

I am so so so nauseous this time around. I’m 8 weeks pregnant & my first born is almost 6 months old. Drinking water first thing in the morning triggers the nausea & I feel it all day. It sucks so bad. The only food that sounds good is top ramen… I know that’s not healthy at all but your girl is struggling…

I’m waiting for my OBGYN appointment in a couple weeks to ask for anti-nausea meds but omg… it’s been so bad.

Anyone else experience worse symptoms the pregnancy after your first born?

My youngest suddenly started resisting his naps and was waking frequently overnight. Today (by no choice of mine) he only had two naps rather than three. Now I think we will be transitioning to 2 naps while my toddler only has 1 and I will be losing my glorious quiet hour where I shower/eat/clean/rot. I’ve thought about this day since my youngest was born, I am in mourning. But I shall be strong and persevere! (I have no other choice) advice and solidarity accepted

Final week before my planned C Section. I'm anticipatorily missing my 21 month old so much already. we just decided that we won't have him come to the hospital the first day so that I'm not tempted to put my incision at risk. he's normally out of the house the second day anyway so he'll come see me at the hospital and then have a 'normal' day. my wife is going to go home to put him to bed every night and he'll be with grandparents. I think it will be fine but I'm a SAHM and feeling suddenly clingy. we had such a sweet morning today and I wonder if he's picking up on how much I'm missing him. he's the best, I don't know how we're going to manage five days apart.

likelihood of me making it two weeks without picking him up is close to zero, but we shall see. I know it's important to prioritize, but I always want to get him immediately. he's good about holding hands on stairs, hoisting himself onto the couch and bed with an assist, and using his climbing tower. fingers crossed. much more nervous about this than I thought, starting yesterday!!