r/workingmoms • u/purplepeanut40 • 21h ago

Vent 6 weeks leave

Just another vent post about how much the United States hates mothers and families. I work for my state government and as of right now, the most amount of time I’m allowed to take off is 6 weeks. I haven’t been with my department for a year yet so don’t qualify for the 12 week paid maternity leave. Instead I must exhaust all of my annual and sick time and can then, thankfully, use the long term disability I signed up for at the start of my employment. I am so distraught about the thought of returning to work after 6 weeks. I know others have it much worse and I’m so thankful that I get to work from home, but I just can’t believe that this country and our politicians wonder why birth rates are plummeting.

50 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

45

u/MsSnickerpants 20h ago

I just want to say I’m so sorry. What your country does is horrific, and the results of forcing mothers back to work so soon is going to ripple for generations.

8

u/SnooHabits6942 19h ago

It’s not country wide to be fair. Progressive states have some generous paid leave compared to the rest of the US.

17

u/Grace__Face 15h ago

I’m in a progressive state-IL- and a teacher and my leave is a joke. My current district “generously pays” 15 days of leave and the rest is either unpaid or you can use sick/personal days to be “paid”. My previous school district didn’t even offer 15 days paid. Granted I am privileged enough that I could deal with taking 3 months unpaid at my current district, there’s nothing at all generous about my “paid leave”.

22

u/VelvetAstronautica 12h ago

Yeah I keep seeing people say 12-18 weeks is "generous" paid leave whereas in my country you get 12-18 MONTHS

10

u/VelvetAstronautica 19h ago

I couldn't find any information about progressive states having generous paid leave. Based on what I could find it was still super short. What states have generous leave out of curiosity?

13

u/SnooHabits6942 19h ago

California provides 6-8 weeks of paid disability, and then another 8 weeks of paid family leave. A quick google search of “which US states offer paid family leave” gives you an answer:

California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Virginia, and Washington. Plus Washington DC.

^ All of the above are progressive states.

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u/Okkkkthen1 17h ago

New York is progressive but we still only get 12 weeks at 67% pay. I know some think this is good enough but compared to other countries, it’s really lacking. And obviously this is way better than 6 weeks.

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u/box-of-doom 15h ago

New Yorkers get 18 weeks in practice because NYS PFL doesn’t run concurrently to STD; you’re eligible to take one and then the other if you give birth, and both parents are eligible for the 12 weeks which is more than some other countries with a more generous maternity leave offer to fathers.

5

u/GuadDidUs 11h ago

NJ is the same. Your FLI (family leave insurance) doesn't kick in until your disability period ends.

A quick primer for those not familiar with maternity leave benefits:

Nationally, we have FMLA, which is 12 weeks unpaid job protected leave. There are certain caveats to this, such as size of the company you work for and length of time. A lot of states have additional leave protections on top of that, as well as paid leave benefits.

So you end up with a confusing layer of overlapping protections. Going to give an example of a "best case" scenario for someone working for a large corporation in NJ.

FMLA (F) -12 weeks unpaid leave, starts when you go out on disability

NJ Family Leave Act (J) - 12 weeks of job protected leave but only caring for a family member, not yourself. Paid leave via NJFLI

Short Term Disability (S) - typically covers when your doctor writes you out, with 6 weeks of recovery for a vaginal birth, 8 for C-section

NJFLI (N) - pays you up to a maximum percentage of your current salary for up to 12 weeks.

Company sponsored maternity leave (C)- company sponsored benefit to pay you typically after your disability period ends. If your company offers this and your state has a paid leave benefits, typically your company will pay you the difference between your state benefit and your current salary so you are receiving your full salary. 6 weeks is fairly standard but this varies across companies.

Confusing, right? I need a gantt chart to show it right but I'm going to try anyway using the abbreviations above.

Job protected leave (each letter is who is covering the leave; there's a little concurrency that goes on that I can't depict):

FFFFFFFFFFFFJJJJJJ

Payment during leave (again, there is concurrency with the company leave and NJFLI):

SSSSSSCCCCCCNNNNNN

So in NJ, you have 2 different statutes triggering for job protected leave, and potentially 3 different sources of salary coverage. And like I said, this is best case scenario for NJ residents that qualify for everything.

2

u/Okkkkthen1 13h ago

I’ve never heard this, ever. Everyone I know only has 12 weeks unless they use their sick/vacation time, go unpaid or work for an amazing company. Are you in NY? Did you get 18 weeks? And I’m not trying to argue. I genuinely have never heard this as an option so if I could get 18 weeks this time, that would be amazing.

5

u/box-of-doom 10h ago edited 10h ago

I’m in NY. I got 18 weeks for my first and will be getting 18-20 weeks again. Everyone I know here gets 18 weeks. Paid family leave is only 12 weeks, but it stacks with 6 weeks of short term disability. You get 6 weeks of short term disability for an uncomplicated birth, more for a c section, and then when that’s up your 12-weeks state level PFL starts.

Edit to add that the rules are different for public employees. The only people I know who aren’t getting a minimum of 18 paid weeks in NYS are, infuriatingly, in government jobs.

2

u/Okkkkthen1 10h ago

And to your edit, Yepp my friend works for a city school district and she gets nothing. She had to use her sick time.

1

u/Okkkkthen1 10h ago

I’m going to look more into this! This is the first time I’m hearing this and obviously I would love an extra 6 weeks this time!

2

u/Okkkkthen1 12h ago

I went to NYSs website and I’m still confused if I am eligible. I have heard if you had a c section or complications you can apply for disability but never a natural, uncomplicated birth.

0

u/GuadDidUs 11h ago

So for disability you need to contact your company's disability insurer to know. My company had Prudential and you got 6 weeks short term disability afterwards for a vaginal birth without complications, and 8 weeks for a C-section. This was back in the 2010s

I took a quick look at NY's website, and the law seems similar to NJ- it's paid, job protected leave for the care of a family member. That means that it does NOT run concurrently with disability- when you're out on disability, you are caring for yourself. NY's law would kick in after your disability period ends; that's when your 12 week clock would start.

Like I said, I only took a quick read so I may be wrong here, but if your company offers short term disability, you conceivably should have around 18 weeks of paid, job protected leave. If your company offers maternity leave, that typically runs after your disability period and runs concurrent with your state leave benefit, so you wouldn't get more than the 18.

1

u/box-of-doom 10h ago

NYS has state-level short term disability protections that cover most employed New Yorkers. If you’re working for a private employer in NY, you’re entitled to 6 weeks of short-term disability for a vaginal birth or 8 weeks for a c-section and not vulnerable to the nuances of your employer’s specific policy unless it includes additional benefits above and beyond what is required by state law.

6

u/VelvetAstronautica 12h ago

I did Google that; I guess we just have a very different definition of what "generous" paid leave is. 16 weeks of paid leave seems completely inadequate even though I suppose it's a lot for Americans. My child is 17 weeks now and I can't imagine having to go back to work.

In Canada you generally choose between 12 or 18 months federal paid leave.

5

u/ActiveCauliflower166 8h ago

Yeah…anything being counted in weeks doesn’t seem generous!

3

u/SnooHabits6942 7h ago

I said generous compared to the rest of the US, which gets literally nothing. Definitely not generous in general or compared to other countries.

1

u/VelvetAstronautica 3h ago

Ah yes I clearly lack literacy skills lmao. In my defence I was nap trapped without my glasses!

4

u/Whysoserious1293 13h ago

Minnesota has up to 20 weeks of paid leave. It’s slightly variable depending on how much medical leave you need for birth. The program just started in 2026!

3

u/aml2346 13h ago

Massachusetts provides 6 months of paid leave (paid up to $1,200 a week) and we are allowed to top it off with PTO to be fully paid.

Edit to add: fathers or non birthing partners get 3 months.

13

u/beaute-brune 20h ago

I am in the exact same position as you and I just want you to know you are not alone. I cried about it today. I’m so sorry.

6

u/purplepeanut40 12h ago

Me too! While working lol

12

u/Much-Ad9827 14h ago

I feel you and I’m so sorry. I had to return working from home at 2 weeks in person at 6, it was not a fun time

8

u/dragon34 13h ago

This is inhumane. At 2 weeks post partum with a c section I could barely even get out of bed by myself, was afraid to carry my baby down stairs and since my husband had gone back to work, was basically a useless human.  If I had tried to actually do work I probably would have just cried to people on the phone 

3

u/Much-Ad9827 11h ago

I luckily felt mostly fine by then (not sure how or if I was just overdoing) and it was super part time but it still sucked. I remember crying in between video calls 😅

9

u/CNDRock16 13h ago

Insane.

I took another month unpaid for a total of 3 months. And then I had to go to work in the first wave of the COVID pandemic (I’m a nurse). Had a full blown nervous breakdown.

2ish years later Massachusetts started a state funded maternity and paternity leave program so now no one has to rely on their employer. All states need to adopt that. 3 months is still not enough but I have friends who staggered their state leave with their STD/mat leave and got 6ish months.

27

u/sanityjanity 20h ago

That's crazy.  If you have a C-section, you won't be medically cleared to return until 8 weeks.

This country absolutely hates children and mothers 

10

u/SnooHabits6942 19h ago

But here’s $2000 if you have another one!! 🫠

4

u/sanityjanity 11h ago

I put together a spreadsheet of all the costs associated with having a baby before pregnancy, during, and then the first year.

The biggest cost was 12 weeks of lost wages.

$2000 doesn't come anywhere near scratching the surface (obviously)

5

u/Any-Session9919 18h ago

I’m in the same boat. Returned to work at 7 weeks. And I don’t work from home so I have to commute too. Barely get to see my baby. And don’t even get me started on how I have to pay the babysitter almost my entire salary :(

3

u/good_kerfuffle 11h ago

Im currently standing outside my EMPTY it dept waiting for my work items after my 3 month mat leave. Its still not enough.

7

u/SnooHabits6942 19h ago

Does FMLA not apply to government jobs? What state are you living in?

As much as people love to be on their high horse about Californians paying higher taxes - I got 12-14 weeks paid by the state for 2 pregnancies, and because companies in California are actually expected to provide benefits, I had 5-6 paid months off each leave. I didn’t even tap into the job protected unpaid leave.

I would honestly move to CA or NY if my employer had shit benefits.

13

u/Bubbly-Camel-7302 19h ago

In my state at least, you have to have worked at your job for 12 months to qualify for FMLA.

13

u/SnooHabits6942 19h ago

OP said they haven’t been with the department for a year. A department change within any government agency or corporation is seen as continuation of employment.

ETA: fmla requirements are not state-specific. It’s FEDERAL leave (very shitty an unpaid to be clear).

4

u/purplepeanut40 12h ago

I live in Michigan. It applies to government jobs, but only if you’ve been there a year.

2

u/Avondran 8h ago

I’m in the same boat. I do wfh which is nice but I only get 6 weeks off. I’m a military spouse so I had no choice but to take a job and I don’t qualify for fmla. Thankfully my husband gets 3 months off.

2

u/legendarysupermom 11h ago

I got 6 for my first 12 for my second....worked myself into the ground and when the migraine started my boss DID NOT CARE I missed work and was berated so forced myself to come in anyway...then after 3 weeks of migrains and forcing myself to drive in despite not being able to see or stop throwing up, I had a stroke...the migraines were the first sign...my job told me to suck it up anyway...now im not cleared to work till at least next year if not permanently and my boss suddenly went frlm "ur my off I just want you back" to "we filled ur position sorry" in less than 2 weeks...fuck the us and fuck the system it has in place

-20

u/SnooHabits6942 19h ago

Were you unaware of the (lack of) benefits going into the job? I assume yes. And public service jobs are this way and always have been. It’s a bit woe is me when you accept a job and all that comes with it, and then complain when very predictable outcomes happen (shitty mat leave as outlined in the employee handbook). Did you just expect new benefits to arrive when you have a kid?

12

u/Any-Session9919 16h ago

Sometimes people don’t have choices to pick jobs based on benefits.

3

u/Frellyria 5h ago

Also, this may not make sense to everyone - but for me, I did not realize how much I would struggle with leaving my baby until I had one. 

 I had “generous for the US” benefits at my employer when I had my first baby. It was more than many of my friends got. It was more than my boss got when she had her baby, because the state had just started offering bonding leave to parents. Everyone said I was lucky. 

I did not realize until I had my baby how much I would not want to leave her to go back to work when she was only a few months old. And a lot of that is on me for not being self-aware or seriously considering and anticipating all the possibilities, but even in retrospect, what could I have done? My company at the time had relatively good benefits - maybe not amazing (especially when you consider what parental leave looks like in other countries), but also how many companies in the US are offering amazing? We’re hardly spoiled  for choice. 

8

u/purplepeanut40 12h ago

Figured there would be at least one of these comments. It’s weird… sometimes life doesn’t go as you plan and you are left to figure it out? Maybe find a little grace in your heart when you don’t know someone’s background and the full story. 🙄

2

u/EagleEyezzzzz 11h ago

That person sucks. Hugs!!!

-3

u/atomiccat8 12h ago

Yeah, I checked my company's benefits when I started thinking about having kids and would have looked for a different job first, if mine had terrible maternity leave benefits.