r/workingmoms • u/Cautious_Optimist_ • 20d ago
Daycare Question Daycare vs. nanny while WFH
Perspective needed. My husband and I both WFH. We’re trying to quickly decide on childcare for our first little one who will be 3 months old when we need care to start. We were originally set on finding a nanny to watch our son until he is mobile and verbal, but have pivoted to strongly considering daycare. The high cost of a nanny in our area (at least $750/month more than daycare that could be put towards a 529 or other investment account for our son to use down the road) and the thought of him crying throughout the day in the next room while we work are reasons for the pivot. Both of our jobs can be high stress with days filled with constant meetings and I already struggle hearing him cry in the next room with my husband when I’m not working - having him away from the house so we can focus on work seems more manageable. At the same time, I don’t like the idea of our 3 month old going to daycare with a 5:1 teacher infant ratio and the increased risk of him getting sick, plus some workdays are slower where I love the thought of being able to spend some extra minutes with our little one in between meetings/work tasks. My husband supports whatever I’m comfortable with doing to make sure I don’t have regrets later on. I keep going back and forth on what the right thing to do is, but need to make a decision in the next few weeks. Any perspective on other experiences with this would be very appreciated!
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u/ycherep1 20d ago edited 19d ago
Nanny till 18 months and daycare after. During the transition I hung out for a few hours and saw the little ones and they're usually just in a chair or on a blanket all day while the daycare people run around with the other kids. Note that it's in at home daycare but the fancy daycares had the whole room was full of cages of little ones.
Your baby won't be crying in the other room when you have a nanny. The first few days maybe as they get used to it. But afterwards, the nanny gives the baby one-on-one attention. They learn from each other. The diaper is changed immediately, the food is made for them, the activities they do together is what they like. I don't regret a nanny for the first year.
Working remote I was able to breastfeed instead of pump and get a minute of joy when I needed it. Plus with the crazy nights, I just gave the baby to the nanny and I didn't have to drive anywhere. That was awesome.
OMG EDIT: When I meant cages - I meant rows of cribs - that looked like a prison unit! Lol - sorry for the communication error. It just gave me a bad vibe & I was very unhappy with it.