Daycare vs. nanny while WFH

[u/Cautious_Optimist_]

Perspective needed. My husband and I both WFH. We’re trying to quickly decide on childcare for our first little one who will be 3 months old when we need care to start. We were originally set on finding a nanny to watch our son until he is mobile and verbal, but have pivoted to strongly considering daycare. The high cost of a nanny in our area (at least $750/month more than daycare that could be put towards a 529 or other investment account for our son to use down the road) and the thought of him crying throughout the day in the next room while we work are reasons for the pivot. Both of our jobs can be high stress with days filled with constant meetings and I already struggle hearing him cry in the next room with my husband when I’m not working - having him away from the house so we can focus on work seems more manageable. At the same time, I don’t like the idea of our 3 month old going to daycare with a 5:1 teacher infant ratio and the increased risk of him getting sick, plus some workdays are slower where I love the thought of being able to spend some extra minutes with our little one in between meetings/work tasks. My husband supports whatever I’m comfortable with doing to make sure I don’t have regrets later on. I keep going back and forth on what the right thing to do is, but need to make a decision in the next few weeks. Any perspective on other experiences with this would be very appreciated!

[u/loquaciouspenguin]

I absolutely cannot work with a baby at home. The maternal instinct to respond to every cry runs deep and it’s the worst to have to sit there and hear something and not be able to respond. And that doesn’t even cover how impossible it is to focus. I’m team daycare 100%.

We started my son as a baby and plan to do that with my second too (currently on leave). Friends I know who waited until a year or a year and a half to start daycare had a much harder transition because they have separation anxiety then. It was seamless with my son since he started early.

[u/Ok-Phrase1652 → u/loquaciouspenguin]

I’m in the same boat! My son is super happy at daycare. When he’s home bc he’s sick and I have backup childcare, I get nothing done 

[u/pantheroni → u/loquaciouspenguin]

Same here. We didn’t have a daycare spot when I went back to work with my first, so we had a nanny for about 5 months. It made the transition back to work incredibly challenging for me. When she started daycare, I felt sane again. My youngest started daycare right at 4 months and the transition was a breeze. No regrets. WFH + nanny absolutely does not work for me.

[u/Upbeat-Sundae-7510 → u/pantheroni]

I had this same experience. I hated being a mom at the point in time when he was home with the nanny. I got my sanity back when he went to daycare