Daycare vs. nanny while WFH

[u/Cautious_Optimist_]

Perspective needed. My husband and I both WFH. We’re trying to quickly decide on childcare for our first little one who will be 3 months old when we need care to start. We were originally set on finding a nanny to watch our son until he is mobile and verbal, but have pivoted to strongly considering daycare. The high cost of a nanny in our area (at least $750/month more than daycare that could be put towards a 529 or other investment account for our son to use down the road) and the thought of him crying throughout the day in the next room while we work are reasons for the pivot. Both of our jobs can be high stress with days filled with constant meetings and I already struggle hearing him cry in the next room with my husband when I’m not working - having him away from the house so we can focus on work seems more manageable. At the same time, I don’t like the idea of our 3 month old going to daycare with a 5:1 teacher infant ratio and the increased risk of him getting sick, plus some workdays are slower where I love the thought of being able to spend some extra minutes with our little one in between meetings/work tasks. My husband supports whatever I’m comfortable with doing to make sure I don’t have regrets later on. I keep going back and forth on what the right thing to do is, but need to make a decision in the next few weeks. Any perspective on other experiences with this would be very appreciated!

[u/tapper1591]

We had a nanny for 2 years and WFH in relatively demanding careers. We had a hard time finding a great fit due to our area/budget. We were paying a good wage, over the table, PTO etc. we were going to try to make it to 3/4 years old with a nanny.

The switch to daycare was a breath of fresh air. It changed the dynamic completely. We needed something dependable and out of the home. 10/10 and that’s including some minor problems with behavior etc.

There are days I (like yesterday) where I wonder if I should stay home with but I know that’s coming from a lot of outside forces pressuring ALL moms that we are doing it wrong. We aren’t. We make the best choices for our family every dang days

[u/Decent_Camel8977 → u/tapper1591]

So glad it worked out for you and your family. When your kid went to daycare after being home for 2 years, how did that impact their transition to being away from home?

We have a 3 year old starting full time home daycare soon nearby while I transition to WFH and I am having mixed feelings about it

[u/tapper1591 → u/Decent_Camel8977]

It was honestly very smooth! But he was a very happy 2yo we had no “terrible twos” got that at three so will obviously depend on your kid. After two weeks we had no tears at drop of consistently!

[u/Decent_Camel8977 → u/tapper1591]

This is such a relief to hear

[u/Worried_Half2567 → u/Decent_Camel8977]

My kid started daycare at 2.5 after being with a nanny and he’s 4 now, at the same center and loves it. I won’t lie though, the first few weeks were a tough transition for us but i’m really glad we powered through.

[u/Decent_Camel8977 → u/Worried_Half2567]

Thank you so much for your response - this gives me hope for our kid adjusting to full time daycare. Any tips that helped your son adjust? Or anything you’d do differently to make it easier? Understood that a period of transition is normal.

[u/Worried_Half2567 → u/Decent_Camel8977]

Main recommendation is to not hover during drop off. Also the first day or 2 can go really well because your kid doesnt know whats going on but by day 3 they might start the full blown tantrums. Thats when you have to stay strong. And remember the daycare workers are used to it and know exactly how to calm them down but the longer your stay the harder it is for them to do their magic.