r/workingmoms • u/Inevitable_Debate814 • Oct 31 '25
Vent We’re doing way too much for Halloween
Today is the day and I am so over Halloween. There are just entirely too many things. We’ve had 2 trunk or treats at my daughter’s schools, a town parade (which is cute so I don’t hate it), Halloween parties at school, and the school parades. When I was a kid we just had a little party with snacks at school and trick or treated at night. That was it! I’ve had so many reminders in my phone to sign up for certain things, bring certain things to school, explain to my kids why we are not decorating a trunk this year (lol last year was a disaster and I’m scarred). Today they are in two schools and have Halloween parades at the worst possible times. I hate making this whole to-do to get to the school, watch for maybe 5 minutes, and then head home.
Maybe I’m a Halloween grinch but I just really want us to collectively pull back on some of these things
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u/SunshineSeriesB Oct 31 '25
I'm seeing this while sitting with my laptop at in the front seat outside my 1st grader's school for the Halloween Walk that starts in 20 mins.
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u/ReduceandRecycle2021 Oct 31 '25
Same! But I bit the bullet and used PTO this year to volunteer to hand out candy.
Gonna have an entire afternoon of “me time”. Wild.
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u/ReduceandRecycle2021 Oct 31 '25
Joke’s on me…just got the call from daycare. Baby has a fever
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u/StasRutt Oct 31 '25
I’ll never forget my husband getting dismissed from jury duty super early and excitedly telling me what he was planning to do with his day off and as he’s talking my phone starts ringing with daycare telling us our son has a fever.
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u/JillHasSkills Oct 31 '25
It gets easier to say no to things when they get older. Trunk or treats are great when kids don’t have somewhere safe to trick or treat. If that’s not you, skip it. Our elementary school does a storybook character parade but only the kinder and 1st parade (and invite parents), the older kids can dress up but don’t parade around.
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u/misstaytay Oct 31 '25
I have a 4yo and a 7mo and I honestly feel like it’s easy to say no now. My older guys is only just starting to understand holiday traditions. Daycare does a trunk or treat but we’ve never gone and he’s never asked to 🤷🏻♀️
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u/avazah Oct 31 '25
That's funny because I usually feel the opposite! It feels harder to say no now that my kids are 9 and 7 than when they were littler because when they're young they just don't really know what they don't know. They wouldn't know about the trunk or treat unless I told them, for example, so we wouldn't do anything optional like that unless it really worked for us. Now that they're older they hear more about things going on and they can read, so they put more pressure.
They are easier to reason with, I do agree with that part, so if it's a "no" we can explain why and they more easily accept it vs just having a meltdown.
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u/Ill-Lingonberry145 Oct 31 '25
Who committed you to all that? Can you say no?
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u/Quinalla Oct 31 '25
This! Don’t sign up for everything, resist the social pressure/guilt. Sign up for something you want to do and have capacity for, no more!
We only had trunk or treat at daycare for my kids which was great, school doesn’t do anything except allow costumes to be worn (no mask, weapons, etc) on Halloween.
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u/meat_tunnel Oct 31 '25
Right? It's only as daunting as you make it. Are we not grown ups? Say no. I've never participated in or attended a trunk or treat. The entire list of our Halloween activities is: dress up for school, walk in the school parade, trick or treating tonight. That's it. It was even less activity packed before he went in to elementary school.
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u/Julienbabylegs Oct 31 '25
Right?? Say no to the trunk or treats they’re trash anyway
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u/sraydenk Oct 31 '25
Depends on the organizations. We went to multiple this year, and some were better run than others. The ones that were at parks with walking paths were done extremely well. Cars in a clear path, spaced out, and cars were expecting a decent turnout so they were fully stocked.
Honestly we had a ton of fun at them.
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u/MiaLba Nov 01 '25
Yeah same here. We’ve received awesome coupons for free kids meals, coupons for other restaurants we like to go to, pencils for school, pencil pouch, dog treats from local pet food stores, a pumpkin she can carve/paint and decorate at home, games to play to win candy, etc. it’s been really fun. My kid has been always to wear different costumes and hang out with her kids. She’s had a blast.
If it’s not for you thats ok. But don’t shit on people who do enjoy it.
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u/boogie_butt Oct 31 '25
I keep seeing this complaint and I have two thoughts:
1) no one forces us to do these things.
2) for some kids, this is as good as it gets. This is how their cups fill up. Caveat to that, we live in a crazy world right now, and we are consistently inundated with atrocities daily. We have no idea how long simple pleasures like this will last.
Embrace it or don't, but I will think it weird to complain about things you dont have to do.
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u/yummymarshmallow Oct 31 '25
Exactly. I'm sad to see trunk or treating getting so much hate. Personally, I love it. My partner can never get off for Halloween trick or treating, so trunk or treating on the weekends work really well for us.
Trunk or treating is less stressful in our area because trick or treating is a mob of kids and it's very crowded.
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u/faithle97 Oct 31 '25
Yeah I personally think trunk or treats are great for those who have parents who may work Halloween night and can’t take their kids trick or treating or that live in more rural areas with houses that are more spread out/harder to walk between. My community has a ton of Halloween events every year and I’ve learned to just cherry pick a couple instead of trying to hit every single thing. I think all the opportunities are great but that doesn’t mean I’m going to show up to every single one of them (or that they’re designed for everyone showing up to all of them lol)
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u/StasRutt Oct 31 '25
Your point 2 is actually a really good point
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u/boogie_butt Oct 31 '25
Thank you, I really appreciate that. In totality, the caveat part, its on my mind constantly.
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u/RImom123 Oct 31 '25
10000% agree. This world can suck sometimes and if trunk or treats, or decorating over the top bring people joy..,then what’s the issue?
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u/boogie_butt Oct 31 '25
If it especially brings CHILDREN joy? In this economy? Sign me tf up. I dont even care that other people dont like it. Its totally fine. But gd the amount of complaining about it on here is incessant.
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u/RImom123 Oct 31 '25
Yup. And In another month the parent complaints will start about elf on the shelf.
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u/MiaLba Nov 01 '25
Yep. The “why is elf on a shelf a thing we need to come together and demand it be banned because I don’t like it!!”
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u/boogie_butt Nov 01 '25
That! I personally loathe the idea of elf on a shelf (and only mentioning it because it's relevant). So, the elf doesnt exist in my home and its not something that irks me when friends share their funny elf escapades. It brings them joy and i love that. Their kids love it. I can dislike a thing for my family while simultaneously not let it live rent free in my brain if I dont have to do that thing.
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u/Infinite-Weather3293 Oct 31 '25
This is my thinking too. We did exactly 1 trunk or treat event this year and then are going to trick or treat our neighborhood. I actually think the trunk or treat events are really nice to have available to do with little kids. Gives them another chance to dress up and enjoy showing off their costume. I think it helps spread out the trick or treating so I don’t feel as bad if they don’t last very long the night of Halloween.
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u/sraydenk Oct 31 '25
I 100% agree, because I’m that mom that loooooves all holiday events. I go to them all because I enjoy them and my kid enjoys them.
So when people say it’s too much it’s hard to not take it personally. It’s not too much for my family, and I’m sure others too. And if it is, I don’t commit to it or remind myself it’s ok to say no. I don’t blame the event.
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u/HerCacklingStump Oct 31 '25
I am the mom who wants to do all of the things. I'm an extrovert and seeing my son get excited about all these little celebrations gives ME joy. My husband is an introvert who gets overwhelmed by too many parties & events, so he gets to veg out at home. Win-win.
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u/Ld862 Nov 01 '25
I actually love participating in Halloween. I take the day off, do all the parades and thoroughly enjoy the neighborhood walk meet and greet. The fresh air and festivities are good for the soul. Sign me up for all the things!
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u/atxcactus Oct 31 '25
Honestly I find this take so frustrating. OP’s post is tagged “vent.” This is a sub for working moms. This is the one place we should be allowed to complain about all the ridiculous shit we are asked to do and keep track of. Even deciding which events to accept or decline takes a certain amount of mental energy.
I totally understand your point that the world is unstable right now. But that also takes a toll on us as moms and 50 Halloween events don’t make it any easier.
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u/so_untidy Oct 31 '25
Sometimes we need a reminder that we can say no.
Sometimes a little gentle feedback during a vent is a good way to hit reset. I know I’ve vented to friends before and they’ve said something that makes me go “oh shit yeah things aren’t that bad.”
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u/boogie_butt Oct 31 '25
Thats fine if its a vent. I do think during vents, other perspective can be shared. I think they still matter. Its not anti or unsupportive just because its not shared commiseration.
I agree there is added mental load, but if its a thing you dislike, then simply dont take on the load and blanket "no" if its too taxing. These events arent requirements.
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u/MiaLba Nov 01 '25
Completely agree.
“But my kids are going to throw a tantrum if I say we can’t go to them.”
Is a comment I saw somewhere at one point when this came up in another sub. And I feel like that’s a great way to teach your kids how to accept no.
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u/dreadpiraterose Oct 31 '25
Am I the only one who doesn't mind a handful of Halloween events? I like that my kid gets to wear his costume more than once. This year it was something he asked me to make for him, so I'm elated that all that effort isn't just for one hour on Halloween night.
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u/RImom123 Oct 31 '25
I love it too. I know my kids won’t want to do these things as they got older so I’m enjoying it now and doing the ones that we can.
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u/dreadpiraterose Oct 31 '25
Exactly. They're only little for so long. I am soaking in the joy he gets from every little event.
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u/rusty___shacklef0rd Oct 31 '25
Yeah we've been having a lot of fun the past week or so with the parties and things to do! I love it. Having a child has made the holidays so fun for my husband and I.
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u/twentysevenpuppies Oct 31 '25
Halloween is a day that most kids live for. I struggle to empathize with parents who complain about having to be involved in things that make their kids happy. We all chose to have kids. Why complain about doing the things that having children involves?
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u/helloiamabear Oct 31 '25 edited Oct 31 '25
No, Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year so I don't mind stretching it out/dedicating the entire month to it.
That said, 1) I actually do feel this way about Christmas so I'm sympathetic to the OP. 2) I live in an area that doesn't do Truck or Treats, so I have no idea how annoying those might be. I think I'd hate them in principle too?
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u/allis_in_chains Nov 01 '25
I love it too. It’s also my son’s birthday, so we go extra all out for it - including a countdown leading up to his birthday with different costumes and Halloween themed outfits. However, because of his birthday being on Halloween, and because of who I am as a person, it’s not out of place to see us with Halloween things year round. My work tote is a Halloween Coach tote, even in July.
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u/MiaLba Nov 01 '25
Same here. Seems like we’re the odd ones out. Just because there’s multiple events doesn’t mean you have to go to all of them if you don’t want to. I know in a few year she’s not going to want to do any of this so I’m enjoying it.
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u/rusty___shacklef0rd Oct 31 '25
Who is "we" though? I hate to be snarky but these things are all optional.
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u/Kindly_Dot_7006 Oct 31 '25
Ironically I was actually wishing my kid’s elementary school did more for Halloween….. at their daycare they always did a craft in the morning and then “trick or treating” inside the school we didn’t have to provide anything, then they get changed into their costumes after nap and do a little parade we can go to around 4pm
My daughter is in elementary school now and their newsletter just said today was “dress like a book character day” not even Halloween? She couldn’t wear her planned costume so we will wear it tonight for trick or treating but it seems like the school is just kind of ignoring it.
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u/kaysquatch Oct 31 '25
Our school doesn’t allow costumes on Halloween, so it’s a school wide pajama day instead lol.
It’s likely to accommodate any kids that don’t celebrate but still kind of lame.
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u/Kindly_Dot_7006 Oct 31 '25
I actually wasn’t allowed to celebrate Halloween growing up and I hated it but I feel like even if nothing happened in school I still would have known I was missing out at night trick or treating that was the big part anyway
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u/kaysquatch Oct 31 '25
Yeah the trick or treat is the main event really. My friends kids all have severe food allergies so they don’t trick or treat and she makes them little boo buckets instead with safe consumables.
Her kids are 7 and 13 so I’m sure they still feel like they’re missing that experience.
We do the switch witch, mainly so our kids can experience trick or treat and then not have to keep all the candy lol I have a GF kiddo and a dye free kiddo lol
But so many houses give out little trinkets now, last year my kids got tons of Pokémon cards from trick or treat!
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u/Ekyou Oct 31 '25
My elementary school required us (well, as much as you can require that kind of thing) to dress as a book character for Halloween. You should have heard my mom rant about how ridiculous it was for her to have to buy/make 2 costumes.
So anyway, I went as Ash from a Pokémon Chapter book one year, and Link from the Zelda: Ocarina of Time Official Player’s Guide another year.
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u/SpiritualFatigue16 Oct 31 '25
I refuse to participate in Trunk or Treats.
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u/Solongmybestfriend Oct 31 '25
Legitimately have never heard of this concept till this thread. Is this being done on Halloween eve instead of going house to house?
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u/sraydenk Oct 31 '25
Around me we have had them every weekend in October, but most were last weekend.
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u/toot_toot_tootsie Oct 31 '25
I live in Salem, MA, and it’s Halloweentown. We did an early business trick or treat, the big parade, then shut it down. We skipped the schools trunk or treat, and they don’t celebrate Halloween on the 31st at my daughter’s school, but they do get a half day due to road closures.
There’s only so many events we can do before we all start getting burned out. I’m so grateful we didn’t need to get the costume on at 7:00, nor did I have to scramble last minute for a school party. We’ll go crazy trick or treating tonight, and all crash.
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u/Polisher Oct 31 '25
My school has over corrected to the other extreme and there are no Halloween events at all, and the kids aren't allowed to come dressed up to school!! I feel pretty sad about it.
But to be honest, still better than what you've got going on, lol
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u/beginswithanx Oct 31 '25
I’m an American but raising my kid abroad and I’m kind of happy not to partake in the crazy-next level Halloween stuff that seems to be going on in the US these days.
Like my kid chose her costume the day before from whatever we had on hand. We went to one local Halloween festival and carved a pumpkin and got candy. Then on the actual day there was one hour of trick or treating in our apartment building.
That’s it. No costume prep for me. Twenty adorable kids stopped by our door, then we had wine at a neighbor’s apartment while the kids ate candy. Lots of fun was had, but it was really chill.
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u/ExtremeExtension9 Oct 31 '25
Haha I am the opposite. I am from the U.K. and now live in America. I am loving the next level Halloween stuff, it’s like I saw in the movies growing up. I think we have almost done something Halloween related every night this month. My kids absolutely love it.
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u/Naive_Buy2712 Oct 31 '25
It’s like a two week thing now! My friend’s kids had FOUR different costumes between dance, school, trunk or treat we went to, and actual trick or treating. No she only bought two, because the others are just ones they had (princess dress etc) but it’s too much. I had that same thought yesterday, when I was a kid, you would just wear your costume for whatever events there were. My kids already have enough candy and they haven’t even been trick-or-treating or to their school party.
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u/eclectique Nov 01 '25
I'm so confused by this. Everyone I know just uses the same costume for all the things.
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u/General_Coast_1594 Oct 31 '25
The whole trunk or treat thing bugs me, I feel like it losing the magic of trick or treating and just adds more events without a lot of value add.
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u/CryingCactus816 Oct 31 '25
Trunk or treating is great for kids with disabilities. It’s still the “trick or treating” experience, just in a smaller proximity. My son is medically complex and his joints hurt when he walks too much so trunk or treating has been awesome for him. But I agree, be a wild kid and run the neighborhood for candy! Don’t let it lose its magic
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u/GrowingHumansIsHard Oct 31 '25
I've a love/hate relationship with Trunk or Treats. If it's just a parking lot with some cars, it's not as fun. If they have other fall activities then I enjoy them. My kids went to one at the ballpark and it was awesome. My kids play baseball so they enjoyed running around on the big field, there was a hayride around the stadium, and they got to bob for apples. My kids talked more about bobbing for apples than they did the candy they got.
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u/Numerous-Duck-5944 Oct 31 '25
Yeah because it’s all staged. There’s no sense of wonder or thrill from being in community, walking the streets and knocking on a door and yelling “Trick-or-Treat”. It’s an extension of helicopter parenting culture imo.
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u/Secretly-Average Oct 31 '25
As a parent of an only child, I love these things, it’s like pre-planned play dates
AND… it’s so much. I’m done with Halloween already.
More than one thing can be true.
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u/neverthelessidissent Oct 31 '25
I am the opposite. I grew up with a mostly SAHM who never took us to special events, so I go overboard and take my kid wherever I can. We watch shows and do crafts all month, too.
She's 3. We did her preschool trunk or treat (awesome because it wasn't that much candy, mostly pop it's and stickers), the neighborhood blanket trick or treat for toddlers, a Halloween hayride, and today we will trick or treat and go to her parade. Tomorrow is Halloween craft and movie day to relax.
I use the same setup for trunk or treat - my Target pumpkin collections and a strobe light with a neon blanket - and it's minimal effort.
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u/atxcactus Oct 31 '25
I love Halloween but I’m starting to feel the same way. Plus the pressure to elaborately decorate the house/ yard. I read a NYT article this morning that said Halloween spending was $1 billion in 2019 and it’s over $4 billion now. So it’s not all in your head.
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u/FlanneryOG Oct 31 '25
I kept putting off decorations this year, and we ended up not doing them at all. Same with baking and arts and crafts. We ended up skipping our local trunk or treat too, as well as a friend’s Halloween party. We’re not going to another friend’s big Halloween shindig tonight either and are trick-or-treating locally and early. We did one pumpkin patch, bought some pumpkins at the store too, carved those last night, and are doing school stuff today. At first I felt guilty and FOMO, but now I feel like it was the right amount of Halloween, and my kids really didn’t complain. There’s so much pressure to do everything, and it’s so unnecessary.
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u/ferngully1114 Oct 31 '25
Trunk or treats are great for rural areas where kids can’t walk a quarter mile on unlit roads between each house. They make no sense in suburban/urban environments! But yeah, just opt out of all this extra stuff! Classroom party? Okay. Carve some pumpkins, take the kids out trick or treating with some friends, and be done with it!
I completely understand wanting to build magic and whimsy into their childhood, but all of the holiday stuff has gotten out of hand. I remember one year when building ”leprechaun traps” for St. Patrick’s Day became a thing, and just nope! Absolutely not. Wear green or get pinched. Here’s a green sugar cookie. I never did Elf of the Shelf either. Madness!
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u/TX2BK Oct 31 '25
My kids love trunk or treat. It’s at their daycare and it’s a trunk or treat/fall festival with rides and games. We still trick or treat. We don’t go to the random trunk or treats sponsored by local businesses. I think they’re doing that for marketing. I love spooky season so I don’t mind that there are so many events and it brings so much joy for the kids.
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u/MrsCryss0715 Oct 31 '25
This is a perfect example of why we’re so burnt out! Too much shit to participate in, and if you don’t then you feel pressure from society or yourself because it makes you feel like a shitty parent.
And that’s not even factoring in the financial aspect of all these events.
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u/RImom123 Oct 31 '25
I feel like these posts come up around every single holiday. And truthfully, I don’t get it. There are SO many events in our area and we just can’t possibly do them all, so we pick our favorites and say no to the others. I don’t really understand having two trunk or treats at the same school (why do they do that?), but maybe it can be a suggestion for next year to combine and just do one.
Our school just started doing one and it was the week before Halloween. We didn’t do a trunk because I just didn’t have the time. But we did pay the very minimal entrance fee and my kids had a blast seeing school friends. Had it been on a night that we already had plans, we would have just said no. I guess I just don’t understand what the issue is.
I feel the same when people complain about elf on the shelf at Christmas. It’s not bothering anyone, I spend little to money, and it brings my kids absolute joy. In a world that can be so hard and cruel, why can’t people choose to find happiness where they can?
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u/okay_sparkles Oct 31 '25
Oh dang I love Halloween stuff! My son’s school had a trunk or treat last weekend, a party and costume parade today that I’m volunteering at, and then we have Halloween trick or treating tonight! Our neighborhood is a big Halloween community. Highlight is that we live too far in the neighborhood for anyone to come to our house so we don’t decorate or pass out candy.
It’s so different than it was for us growing up, but we’re just embracing it for now!
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u/Lolly1113 Oct 31 '25
We are doing too much for EVERYTHING. I was so happy when my kids were too old for that fucking elf.
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u/Denne11 Oct 31 '25
The people who complain that streets aren’t safe to trick or treat are the same people whipping around residential streets in their gigantic SUVs. Come at me haha
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u/ck267505 Oct 31 '25
I’m with you. I usually love Halloween but now with two kids in school, it’s too much. We said no to half the things we were invited to and I’m still over it. I usually love planning a family costume theme but this year I just don’t have the energy for it. Just glad it’s not going to rain for trick or treating and tomorrow it’ll be over. 😆
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u/GirlsesCheetos Oct 31 '25
My 8 year old had a Halloween spirit week this week. Every day a different theme. Nothing crazy but having to plan outfits and bringing various theme items to school just makes me crazy.
My 2 year old’s daycare was the same way. Yesterday they painted pumpkins, and honestly I’m glad they did such a messy activity at daycare so I don’t have to deal with cleanup. On top of it all my husband forgot to buy pumpkins and carving supplies so if he doesn’t get it today after work it’s not happening. We have neighborhood trick or treat which is the only thing I’m looking forward to.
It’s really just beginning. From now until December 31 it’s going to be back to back holiday celebrations. Honestly feels like a second job with all the work and planning involved. Then my birthday rolls around in early January, which everyone forgets about after all the holiday chaos and overstimulation. I’m taking that day off 😅
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u/Inevitable_Debate814 Oct 31 '25 edited Oct 31 '25
Completely get this! Especially when the kids are in different schools/daycares. One has to wear a certain outfit or color one day while the other has to bring in a certain thing. I’m constantly writing reminders in my phone to keep it all straight (and even then I miss some things womp womp)
I’m happy they get to do fun things but right now my brain feels zapped
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u/GirlsesCheetos Oct 31 '25
Me too. They have so much fun and I'm so grateful for that, but it's just a lot. We didn't have any of this when I was a kid either so I'm kind of like, can we just have a party at school, go trick or treating and call it good?
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u/Alligator382 Oct 31 '25
The Halloween parade at your kid’s school is during the school day AND parents are invited? That’s so odd to me. Our kids’ school does a parade during the school day, but it’s just to show all the other classrooms everyone’s costumes. Parents are not invited.
Our school district is huge, though, so it would be way too chaotic if everyone’s parents came in. Is your school on the smaller side? My kids have never had an event during school hours where parents were expected or even invited. That would be so inconvenient as a working parent.
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u/wicked_spooks Oct 31 '25
I am having mixed feelings about Halloween. I love Halloween, but I prefer to keep it simple. Several fall activities along with some Halloween movies on some nights. Do trick or treating.
However, my kids are sick so we can’t go out today. So I am glad that we went to a trunk or treat last Wednesday even though I was iffy about it.
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u/ILoveEvMed Oct 31 '25
Holiday season is, BY FAR, what threw me off the most as a new working mom. I was mostly keeping things afloat at work and home then BOOM. You’re responsible for the traditions. You’re responsible for the DURING THE DAY events. You’re responsible for the MAGIC. It’s impossible. I did decide our families Thanksgiving tradition is to order Chinese food!!! Grandmas don’t approve but honestly it’s my favorite tradition. lol
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u/StasRutt Oct 31 '25
Also they apparently need special outfits for each holiday but don’t buy them too early because they might out grow them but also thanksgiving outfits are put out in July so don’t wait too long or else it will be sold out!!!
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u/Wild_Owl_511 Nov 01 '25
I tell people that “trunk or treat is against my religion”. 😂.
(I live in an area where Halloween being against someone’s religion isn’t unheard of).
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u/dailysunshineKO Oct 31 '25
That is a lot. We had to learn this lesson too, especially for Christmas. There’s just too many events (concerts, light displays, train rides, etc.) so we try to pick a few and rotate through different stuff each year.
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u/Ornery-Tumbleweed104 Oct 31 '25
Its great that the community does so much. Not every kid will be able to participate in trick or treating or Halloween so its nice to be inclusive. You don't have to participate in every activity.
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u/South-Helicopter-514 Oct 31 '25
You are absolutely correct, and I know "we can all just say no to things" but that's easier said than done when everyone else's parents are going over the top with everything. Our school has two trunk or treats, one that's a 5th grade fundraiser and one put on by the foundation that runs the wraparound care as a family event for those kids. I wish they'd just combine efforts and do one event. The foundation's one was last night and it poured with the giant storm so they had it in the gym. Decorated tables with candy. I feel bad not supporting them because they're wonderful and trying to bring families together, but I was so relieved when my kids agreed to my idea of staying home with popcorn, hot chocolate, pumpkin carving and a movie.
There was also a party at their karate dojo at the same time and we had been debating which to go to. I'm so proud to have just said no, having modeled that, and relieved at how much the kids were on board. It's all really too much though, tonight feels like an after thought which is crazy.
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u/Katwantscats Oct 31 '25
And here I am feeling guilty we have NO plans. My daughter turned 1 yesterday. Her first Halloween (when she was a day old haha) we spent in the hospital obvs. Her second Halloween (today) I’m spending it at my parent’s house, cleaning and decorating for her birthday party tomorrow.
I was so excited to have a “Halloween baby” and be able to theme her birthdays as Halloween and do Halloween stuff for her bday, but now I’m realizing, as a working mom, that means something has got to give. I can’t do all the Halloween stuff and throw a party when I only have weeknights to prepare and those are spent cooking, cleaning, or doing other commitments.
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u/MacabreLemon Oct 31 '25
I have a Halloween baby! Their first night trick or treating was when they were 3 so you aren't missing anything at 1 y/o. We have fully leaned into classroom parties and are the parents that can provide the pizza lunch on a day when the teachers might otherwise have to cover that or recruit other parents to cover it. We did a couple of birthday events when my kid turned 1 and 2 that we're breakfast drop ins with fancy donuts at our house or a neighborhood playground. I, too, thought we would be doing super cool Halloween themed parties but really people don't need those right now and we're riding that wave until at least Kindergarten.
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u/Katwantscats Oct 31 '25
Thanks for the input! When she and her class are old Enough, I’d love to do classroom birthday parties. I also though, when she gets older, she could have Halloween sleepovers and the party could he going trick or treating or something idk. Combining the two somehow.
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u/MacabreLemon Oct 31 '25
I LOVE the Halloween sleepover idea!!! I am borrowing that when my kid is older. I'm also selfishly hoping they get into scary movies so we can watch them together.
For our Halloween baby's party next year, since it will be on a Saturday, I'm thinking we'll get some tote bags and fabric markers for the kids to decorate during the day that they can then use at night to trick or treat. Two might be young for your kid to do fabric markers, if a lot of your kid guests will be the same age or younger, but maybe there's something similar to that that would make it an easy daytime thing that feels helpful and part of the season instead of a crazy, over-the-top thing.
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u/FL_Sunshine Oct 31 '25
Halloween used to be my favorite holiday because it was ONE day and it was over. Honestly, this week I was surprised it STILL wasn't actually over yet. Multiple parties and days where people were dressing up, so much sugar in the house, just day after day of Halloween. I guess I'm back to Thanksgiving being my favorite. One day, no gift giving to stress over and an attitude of thankfulness.
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u/Weekly-Air4170 Oct 31 '25
We do trick or treating the day of Halloween and two other costume events the week of. That is it
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u/pope_pancakes Oct 31 '25
We live on THE halloween street and have saved all of our bandwidth for tonight. Our daycare even sent emails saying no costumes for today because it might scare or confuse some kids. So our halloween is hyper-concentrated into the 5-8pm window. It is possible!
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u/HeftyBreakfast Oct 31 '25
Nobody in our neighborhood really trick or treats anymore because everyone just goes to some of the hundreds of trick or trunks that our area has throughout the month.
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u/Various-Ask3371 Oct 31 '25
And the Boo bags. The last thing I need leading up to Halloween is some chain letter style new tradition introducing more candy and to-dos in our house.
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u/PerfumedPornoVampire Oct 31 '25
My favorite part of Halloween is going to local farms and having fun in the pumpkin patch, but these days those events are so overcrowded and expensive that it’s just not worth it. There’s a million farm events to check out too, like hayrides, pick-your-owns, haunted houses, etc.
The crowds have killed my enjoyment and I fully admit that I used to hit up a new farm every weekend from the autumn equinox until Halloween. Now not so much, and I even went to 3 different farms this year and was only happy with one of the experiences.
It’s just too much.
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u/cycme500 Oct 31 '25
IDC about the trunk or treats because there's so many people here that don't have a safe place to trick or treat from their house - and people can obv choose to go or not. We lived on a country road and always had to find a friend to go with.
I wish more people did the homemade DIY costumes, though. That's what my kid looks forward to, picking something unique to be and we piece together items, sew, or paint together. Cardboard. Obviously not everyone can do this, but I'm mentally preparing myself now for all K Pop girls tonight that all look exactly the same in their $40 Amazon costume. BORING
Just remember these years will fly by...
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u/KiddoTwo 11F/7F/3F Oct 31 '25
I love it :)
We moved to the burbs from the city last year, so this is my second suburban halloween/holiday season. It's SO DIFFERENT and so fun.
Also, I don't do shit. Ain't nobody got time for trunk n treat, but I happily take my kids wherever they need to go and DEEPLY appreciate all the parents that are ALL IN. They are the best. I also spent an insane amount of time on getting 2 Rumi braids just right.
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u/sraydenk Oct 31 '25
I would say, don’t do more than you want. You don’t have to do all the tru k or treats, parades, and everything else if ir doesn’t fill your cup.
I love doing stuff like that, so all October we do fall/halloween stuff. If I didn’t enjoy it, I would skip it.
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u/brain_on_hugs Oct 31 '25
Plus pumpkin patches, friend halloween parties, halloween movie nights… it’s way too much!
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u/life-is-satire Oct 31 '25
I get being over all the school activities that happen during the day since your kids can’t opt out of those but all of the extra trunk or treats, parties, etc is totally on the parent. Nothing says you have to log your kid around to every event.
My mom worked hard and while we went to things here and there I see know how she would say certain events were for people who didn’t have a neighborhood to trick or treat in.
We to one party at the church and one mall that was decorated and had various characters interacting with the kids, this was late 80s. It felt like a big deal cause I only went to one of them.
All of my costumes after 2nd grade was in fact my 2nd grade costume…punk rocker was always fun.
My mom wasn’t putting a second of her time into my outfit or my plans for the evening. 5th grade on up I traveled with a group of friends, that was my supervision.
My mom wasn’t shy about sayin “not this time” or redirect us to our other plans. If we tried pushing back she would tell us that we can’t do everything and that we should be grateful for what we have. She’d also add how some kids don’t even have parents to take them around the block.
It’s healthy to model a healthy schedule and how to say no to things in a healthy way.
Understanding the limits of time, energy, and money prepares kids for the real world. They don’t see how busy you are behind the scenes the kids experience stress and anxiety in late teens and early adulthood because they don’t understand how we need to live within our means and say no to things even if they’re fun.
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u/phxeffect Oct 31 '25
I LOVE Halloween! But this year I did minimum declarations outside. And I didn’t sign up for Trunk or Treat despite doing it for the last 3 years. I’m tired. And between all the other events at school this year that I had to attend and buy things for, I didn’t have it in me. I can’t wait for today to be over. 😂 I will enjoy it with my 4.5 year old but damn am I ready to just get to Christmas. November can kick it.
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u/WingsUp4Life Oct 31 '25
Halloween turned into a month-long commitment and I'm exhausted just reading your schedule.
Two trunk or treats, multiple parades, parties, sign-ups, coordinating costumes for different events - when did this become a part-time job? We've overcomplicated a holiday that used to be "wear a costume, get candy, done."
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u/Wifemomnurse37 Nov 01 '25
I personally love it but I think that’s because I was a neglected child whose stepmom never took her anywhere or did anything “extra” so now I’m that mom who wants to participate in everything lol
I do get extremely stressed and anxious about a lot of it though but I know that’s because I’m doing more than I need to but I love it so much so I do it… so it’s a love hate relationship with holidays 😆
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u/Sherbet_Lemon_913 Nov 01 '25
I wish schools didn’t do anything during the school day. It’s too much to go to school in costume, have a school parade, the school showers you with junk food, serves pizza for lunch and then sends you home to do the same thing at 5pm. Trick or treating and costumes are an extracurricular activity for families and neighbors to enjoy. Schools should host an optional trunk or treat on a different night but otherwise October 31 is like any other school day. We’re begging you.
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u/SnooHabits6942 Nov 01 '25
Trunk or treats are stupid, especially in safe areas where people generally live in neighborhoods (vs apartments). Most schools in our areas do it, and I’m genuinely thankful my kid’s school does not. We did the school parade and a party slash trick or treating with cousins. And have done that for years.
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u/No_Nectarine2455 Nov 01 '25
It’s ok not to participate in every single event. Just saying. I opted out of a few stupid trunk events and it felt good! Do less.
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u/jagrrenagain Oct 31 '25
Yes! Like everything else, Halloween is completely over the top. No child needs that much stimulation, yet they’ve grown used to it, get bored, and want more.
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u/flapjacksal Oct 31 '25
Respectfully, as a Canadian:
- What the heck is a trunk or treat??
- Was it created by the automobile lobby?
- Is America truly so unsafe that kids can’t knock on doors and, if so, why don’t you just go to a neighbourhood that is?
I grew up where houses were super far apart with few children and would always trick or treat downtown where the houses were nice and close together.
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u/rusty___shacklef0rd Oct 31 '25
A trunk or treat is usually a community event hosted by churches, schools, or daycares where the staff or volunteers will hand out candy from their decorated trunks to trick or treaters. In my area (CT) these are usually done before Halloween and trick or treating is still very alive and well here too.
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u/Solongmybestfriend Oct 31 '25
Another Canadian here and I was scratching my head wondering too. First time hearing about these trunk or treat.
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u/Active_Poem_5877 Oct 31 '25
I hate trunk or treats. They're just not as fun as going door to door.
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u/StargazerCeleste working mom of 2 Oct 31 '25
I realize this is going to sound annoying to many, but be grateful! Our public schools ban Halloween celebrations in the alleged name of "inclusivity" (which just means the right parents complained, because Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day are still celebrated in school).
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u/BitterPopsicles Oct 31 '25
My kid is 15 and decided yesterday to go trick or treating with his friends and their younger siblings.
I've been driving past pumpkin patches and haunted houses and seeing little kids in their adorable costumes for a couple of weeks.
I know it's annoying to hear now when you're in the trenches, but you really will miss their fun and excitement someday.
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u/kaysquatch Oct 31 '25
I don’t participate in all the school festivals cause they’re △⃒⃘lways too short of notice and I have a patient schedule that books out about 2-3 weeks. And there’s so many of them throughout the year; usually for their Christmas music performance I move my schedule around cause my kids are actually performing something, but I won’t move my schedule for a “party” in the gym lol. And these are usually all fundraising events, so you have to pay for a ticket to go and I’d rather just donate the $20 and call it a day.
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u/jaxlils5 Oct 31 '25
We did one fall festival last weekend and then today trick or treating. That’s my limit for exactly this reason! But I’m sure that may change as the years go on
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u/arizzles Oct 31 '25
My kid had to go to school in uniform and will change to her costume for their end of the day parade (that is actually a fundraiser for the 8th grade trip). We opened her costume for the first time this morning to send to school. No candy/snacks allowed. We carved pumpkins last night and today we’re going trick or treating. Nothing else and i feel fine about it.
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u/Outrageous_Cow8409 Oct 31 '25
I donate a bag of candy to the different schools my girls go to and we do sign up to host a trunk at the daycare but that's it. We don't really go to a bunch of the trunk or treats. Two at most. (We did one year go to 4 or more when we were just looking for stuff to do on a Saturday). I think it's great for those people who want to do it but I don't think any of us should expect it
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u/Rare_Eye_724 Oct 31 '25
Now that I have teens, I don't do a damn thing for Halloween. It's too much for me now. I barely decorate. I might just smash pumpkins with my girl friend as a celebration lol
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u/Lily_Of_The_Valley_6 Oct 31 '25
My kids are doing a classroom party the last 45 minutes of the day today and trick or treating tonight. We didn’t do anything else.
The baby had a theme week at daycare and I think we participated in 2 days because I already had stuff and it was easy. Otherwise, no thanks.
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u/thewhaler Oct 31 '25
We absolutely love Halloween in our home but do not trunk or treat. However we have a really good neighborhood for trick or treat.
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u/ambear3000 Oct 31 '25
I have a two year old and thought trunk or treat was for kids too little do go door to door, but this year we're taking her to actually trick or treat and I cannot wait. But I also agree, we've already done 3 different Halloween events this year and tonight is more and tomorrow the last one, it's a lot! Idk if I'll do this all again next year but it's our first year doing it all, had to figure it out I guess
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u/moosecubed Oct 31 '25
My kids have worn their costumes the last two days for things. Im tired of washing them.
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u/star185 Oct 31 '25
My daughter is only 19 months but wow it seems like our town has had 10+ trunk or treats over the last week alone. Her daycare did a costume parade and trunk or treat yesterday at 3:45pm, and it makes me feel bad for the parents that don't have flexible jobs.
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u/airlinegrills Oct 31 '25
I am so glad to live in a densely populated urban center for this reason. No one has the space to do trunk or treat. All the neighborhood parks host big Halloween parties we can go to or not, and many blocks close to traffic for safe trick or treating.
I totally get that not everyone has that though. It just makes me very grateful for what we have. (We are in DC, for reference.)
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u/randomname7623 Oct 31 '25
I love Halloween and even I agree about too many activities. There have been 10-15 trunk or treat events near us and I feel like it takes away from the excitement of Halloween night!! Plus candy has been a thing for the last 2 weeks instead of a 1 night special. It’s our first Halloween in this house so I’m not sure what the trick or treating will be like, but I’ve heard some neighbourhoods don’t get as many since covid.
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u/blueberrylettuce Oct 31 '25
I LOVE Halloween and I protect that love by saying no to some things.
We don’t do trunk or treats or really any extra trick or treat like events. I don’t care which group is doing it. We trick or treat on Halloween, outside in our neighborhood.
I have never gone in for the school parties. Most teachers thankfully don’t ask for parent volunteers.
We don’t do a ton of extras — maybe we’ll do a Halloween themed event or party, but we don’t feel obligated.
I do love the school parade. I take the day off work so I can no stress attend the parade, have dinner ready early so we eat before trick or treat, and I spend the rest of the time doing whatever I want (a staycation of sorts).
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u/TradeBeautiful42 Oct 31 '25
I have a preschooler so our entire Halloween season has consisted of the lead up to today’s trunk or treat at school and trick or treating for a couple of blocks. We did the pumpkin patch fun and carving pumpkins this year so I don’t feel overscheduled with Halloween, but I am very tired with the amount of kiddo bday parties we’ve attended between the fall cold season.
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u/TalulaOblongata Oct 31 '25
The trunk or treats the week and days before actual Halloween are so extra, never did them, never brought my kids, zero regrets. I think we should all collectively stop the trunk or treat nonsense. There’s no need for them in a typical suburb or city setting where kids can just trick or treat like usual door to door. (I get there are some exceptions where something like this would work)
The parades are cute. I do have to take a whole day off because of them though. At one point my kids were in two different school and the parades plus Halloween parties in school plus regular drop off and pickup and I was up to something like 10-12 times going to the schools in one day, like just ping ponging between the two schools for like 6 hours.
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u/TheBearQuad Oct 31 '25
I’m going to sound like the Elder Millennial that I am, but I think the non-stop activities kills some of the joy from the actual day. It’s too over the top.
I also think Trunk o Treats have semi-killed regular door knocking ToT.
Bahumbug 😝