r/vulvodynia • u/AdLittle6433 • Apr 16 '26
Vent Posted a picture of my vulva for vulvodynia and lichen sclerose and men are asking for picture wtfff
Im so FURIOUS OMGGGGG!!!!!!!
I posted a picture of my vulva on obgyn to ask if it looks like i have lichen sclerose and men are sending me private messages to ask for more pictures and others asked me how is my sex life and tried to sexchat WTF?
IM IN SO MUCH PAIN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHATS WRONG WITH MY RAW PAINFUL VAGINA AND MEN HAVE THE AUDACITY TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK THEIR SICK DEVILISH MIND TELL THEM TO
and now feel so weird about the picture that I posted the fact that there are other men looking at it in a dirty way disgust me.
I mean ok i am aware that since i posted my vagina anyone can see it and think however they want of it BUT THE AUDACITY TO TEXT ME PRIVATELY AND TELL ME THAT MY VULVA TURNS THEM ON IS JUST INSANE.
i am in so much pain I even had suicidal thoughts because of this condition and im trying to fix my relationship with my body as much as i can and what just happened made me feel so fucking weird.
This is the first time I experience something bad on reddit.
I prayed this guy face the worst disease he could ever imagine I cannot explain how much anger i am feeling right now it’s insane
I could use some support or something i feel so weird
I dont want to feel weirded out about my body because of a stranger online but i do:/
I love my body it is doing its best to get better and function everyday it does not deserve what im feeling.
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u/Symbolic_rebel Apr 16 '26
Thats so gross. Im so sorry you are going through this. Vulvodynia is such a brutal condition to begin with. I hear you.
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u/archlinuxgirl Apr 16 '26
That's so terrible, i'm so sorry. I don't say this to like one-up your experience... but one time i was out walking my dog and there was a lost dog near that I was trying to steer away from the road...this guy comes and seemingly wants to help but he's going too aggressively after the dog...so the dog ran into the road and got hit immediately.
I of course begin bawling and the guy looks sad too and leads me to sit next to him on a bench nearby where it happened...I'm still crying...and the guy asks for my number.
It's the most fucked up thing I ever experienced and the guy probably looks completely normal at work.
These are the monsters messaging you, and I wish the world was different
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u/Historical_Guess2565 Apr 16 '26
I remember being hit on as a teen by older men at the most inappropriate moments myself and more recently in my 40s. Your comment reminded me of this fender bender I was involved in. Thankfully no people or animals were hurt. So I’m 18 and I’m with the guy that I’m dating and we’re young so he’s not super experienced with driving yet and he makes a mistake and tries to make a left hand turn when he didn’t have right away. He hits the car going straight and it’s this cheerleader about our age. I felt so bad for her because her car got really messed up while my dates barely had a dent. Anyway because there were some houses on the street where the accident happened, some people came out to see what was going on. This guy comes out and comes over to me to start asking me questions if I’m okay and such and then says, aww you’re just too pretty for this to happen to you. I didn’t even know what to say, but why would you say that to someone that’s just been in a car accident? I swear if they aren’t being completely vile like trying to DM OP that’s just looking for help for a devastating condition like vulvodynia, they’re making the dumbest fucking comments at the worst possible times.
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u/190DayFiance Apr 16 '26
That is disgusting of them! I am so sorry! I understand how you feel (we all do here). Clearly these immature men have zero idea how debilitating this condition is. Hugs to you 💙
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u/Throwaway172892930 Apr 16 '26
I’m so sorry, it’s the worst to experience sexual harassment while trying to seek help for this condition. We cannot help it is our vulva and not another body part. I haven’t experienced this specific thing but I have experienced obgyns sexually harassing me, unnecessarily sexualizing me and my conditions.
Men being “turned on” (or who knows, just wanting to try to make a woman feel harassed) by a close up of a vulva with no context but that someone is suffering is weird. They’re weird losers and that’s it. But unlike them, ur amazing! And im proud of you for seeking help and don’t EVER let them get you down. I know it’s hard. You deserve respect and healing! We are here for you!
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u/Archives5295 Apr 16 '26
I am so sorry. I hope that you find the diagnosis and healing that you need. Just remember those men are pathetic and that after you process your anger, there is no need to waste your energy thinking about them.
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u/KittyLoveMeowz Apr 17 '26
I am so sorry. The last thing we are focused on is a sexual response to vulvodynia.
I am so sorry this happened to you.
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u/halrox Apr 29 '26
Omg, I'm sorry that happened, grrrr. I'm in another group related to this disorder and on a whole other social media platform I had men messaging me about it, unpromted. I use a similar handle across the internet, so that's probably why - me lamenting about how I'm borderline considering ending my life because I'm in so much pelvic pain is somehow soooo arousing...not. hang in there hun <3
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u/Ill_Algae_5369 Apr 17 '26
I am just so angry for you. I have 2 sons a husband a dad and a brother all of whom are wonderful humans so I hate to lump all men in a bucket; but having been the subject of so much harassment myself it's just so hard not to be continually triggered. Especially when the part that's supposed to be bringing so much ecstasy is instead agonizing. Total mind f*ck. I hate it all.
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u/Labradeux Apr 20 '26
This happened to me too and I didn't even post a picture, I described how sex was painful for me in one of my posts and some guy asked me for sexy pics because that might help me. Men are dogs and that will never change.
To offer some help, Im also currently healing from vestibulodynia. I tried everything and I am located in the USA. If you can get to Mexico, I believe they sell Estrogen and testosterone cream over the counter. Some other countries might too but in the US it's a controlled substance and I had to get a prescription. I would recommend estriol or estriol + dhea (which is a low dose estrogen) ovals by bezwecken. I'm not sure if they're available in France but using one of these dulled my pain when I used one and then waited 24 hours.
You mention in previous posts your pain is highest before your period, which is a time when progesterone is high and estrogen
Is low or testosterone can be low. Which would mean you may have hormonally mediated vestibulodynia (which you may already know). Look up Goldstein and his recommendation for the testosterone and estrogen combination cream that works best for vulvodynia/vestibulodynia. I used this combo for 3 months and my pain is a 1-2/10 now and I can have mostly pain free sex. Make sure it doesn't have any alcohol in it because that is the ingredient that will burn you when you are using it. Best wishes to you my friend.
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u/AdLittle6433 Apr 20 '26
I tried the dhea ovals by bezwcken they burned so bad i think am allergic to it
I am in france and no doctor here knows about about the testo/estrogen gel i literally begged them to prescribe it but they refused even tho i showed them articles and evidence.
Do u know any pharmacies from mexico that might accept to give me the estrogen / testosterone gel without a prescription?
Also which base did u use for your estrogen/testosterone gel?
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u/Labradeux Apr 20 '26
I think if the dhea burned maybe the skin tissue down may need time to heal. Have you tried waiting 3 months to allow the skin at the vulva to repair itself? Sometimes it's a waiting game.
Ugh, I'm so sorry, doctor's even here are hesitant to prescribe it. The first 2 doctors I saw wouldn't give me Testosterone only estrogen cream.
All of the pharmacies in Mexico should have it available over the counter, even the ones at the airport if I remember right.
The base of my cream had alcohol in it, so it burned my labia pretty bad the first couple times I used it. I learned from the menopause subreddit that if you leave the gel/cream out overnight, the alcohol evaporates and you can use it without the burning feeling.
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u/AdLittle6433 Apr 20 '26
Oh so the cream in mexico is not compound? What is the name of it ?
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u/Labradeux Apr 20 '26
It's estradiol cream and testosterone gel. You'll have to check the Goldstein recommendation for what percent of each you need. Then request it at a pharmacy. I'm not sure the name in Spanish but I'm sure its similar.
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u/Naive-Cantal Apr 29 '26
that's genuinely disgusting and ur anger is completely valid, posting a medical photo while in pain to get help and having that happen is such a violation. report and block every single one, dont engage
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u/Thunder_Jawtooth 26d ago
Vulvas and vaginas are totally normal body parts! I hate men for seeing everything as sexualised. And IN A MEDICAL SUBREDDIT TOO omg. They are so disgusting. I feel you girl!!
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If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.
US:
Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741
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u/Historical_Guess2565 Apr 16 '26
I’m so sorry, that should result in a permanent ban on Reddit.