I saw deep on a Reddit thread that someone went into their baby’s room every minute and trained their baby that way. I want to shout this training method from the rooftops. It was soooo quick and easy and we have tried many other methods.

We used the stopwatch on our phones and went in the first time after 30 seconds. Then each time we went in we soothed our babe, then left again and waited one minute. No longer than that ever. The first time we did this method (at nap) took about 15 mins total with the soothing time, but that meant our babe only cried for 11 mins and 30 seconds- I went in the room 12 times. Never picked him up, just told him we loved him, he was safe, learning a new skill is hard but we’re right outside the door. It was so sweet to comfort him and the crying never got out of control bc it was only for a minute max.

Edit to add what check ins looked like: we kept the check ins short- 20 seconds to a minute. Our guy was standing in his crib so we hugged him and told him things like “you’re safe, we love you, you’re learning a new skill and it’s hard but you’re doing great” etc etc. as soon as there was a slight settle (or we hit what felt like about a minute or maybe even you want to do two) we left again. And started the timer for 1 min, and then went back in and soothed again. Ideally he settled a little bit, but he didn’t always stop crying fully.

At bedtime it took 7 mins total, he cried for 4mins 30 seconds. I am sooo grateful to whoever proposed this idea.

To me, the concept makes amazing sense- when your baby cries, you respond. They learn that and eventually tire themselves out and go to sleep knowing that if they need you you’ll respond. Basically, you just have to have more patience than your baby.

This felt honestly really good in my nervous system and I hope, hope, hope it works for more of you!

Background: we had sleep trained around 8 months letting our babe cry for about 15 mins- and it sucked, I felt so stressed through that time. He slept through the night then though for about 10 months straight then we hit a regression where we couldn’t put him down without him crying so we reverted to rocking him to sleep. This is when we just tried this new method.

Edit: we tried the chair method and that really upset my son, but for whatever reason with leaving and coming back he was able to learn to self soothe! So, just a note of encouragement if you’ve tried the chair method and feel like your presence overstimulates your child. In that way it did the same for our baby too.

Additionally, while this method may be similar to a modified Ferber, the difference is that the goal is not to extend the amount of time you’re gone from the room, the point is to show your child that you will be there for them quickly every single time they cry. That comfort allowed our son to feel confident to fall asleep on his own.

I have a 16 month old daughter who has never slept through the night. My husband works a physically demanding job during the day, I’m in nursing school nights/weekends. I also have an eight year old.

My daughter sleeps in her own bed and has since about six months old, but will not sleep through the night. She now naps once a day and I’m struggling mentally.

It’s getting to the point I don’t even want to go to bed because I know she’ll wake up any second. When she does wake up, I get horrible waves of anxiety. She doesn’t just wake up and fuss; Every time she screams as if someone’s hurting her.

I don’t know what to do. If I do the chair method or pick up put down, she just goes more insane. Usually I just cave and get her a bottle and then she’s up again within three hours.

I’m seriously considering just complete cry it out but I feel awful about it. But then I also feel awful not trying as I feel I’m not as good as a mom lately because of this lack of sleep. I feel bad for my older son. It’s affecting everyone in the house and affecting my education.

Any advice? I’m genuinely going insane.

She has a bath and I cuddle her in my bed for a bit without the television on before bed. She naps from 11 ish to 1 or 2 ish most days and I try to have her down by eight. Eats pretty well and I know it’s not hunger causing her to wake up at this point. I’ve even tried cosleeping just to see if it would help but she still wakes up and screams or will start throwing herself against the wall if I don’t give her a bottle or walk around with her.

For context, baby is 14 months, had been so good for so long and in the past month, total chaos.

We were on 7am-7:30pm
10:30am nap 2:30pm nap
So about
3.5/2.5/3

Then, it’s all over the place, won’t go down, figure he might be transitioning to one nap, has a day where it’s 11:30 for 3 hours straight, next day 9:30 nap 12:30 nap and 4pm nap, next day won’t nap until 3pm.

Bedtime has been an absolute BATTLE.

5:45pm we are eating.
6:30ish up for bath time.
7pm out of the bath.

We dry off, brush teeth, diaper, lotion and PJs, put some night time teething oil on his gums, medicine if he needs(if he is showing he is frustrated in the bath), start laying down and reading, calm books, nursing and just…nothing. Lights are off and he is WIDE AWAKE.
Figure he might need an earlier bedtime (fight being overtired maybe?), tried 6, same thing.
Okay, let’s see if 8 will work? Same hour of nursing, absolutely not budging.

Has now started waking at 5:45am regardless of how long it takes to fall asleep.
I have resorted to just letting him cry it out and I HATE myself for it but several times before giving up to it, I’ve been in the room from 7-9:30… TWO AND A HALF HOURS!?

Please, someone has got to help me or tell me if this is a regression, how long can this go on????

I’ll try to keep this brief.

My baby is 15 months old and has coslept since day 1. My wife was more onboard with cosleeping than I was but I reluctantly agreed it was best for the sake of our sleep in the newborn survival days.

That said, I’m no longer at the point where I can take it and I’m desperately trying to transition our baby to his crib. My wife wakes up with back pain every day, we each wake up 4-5 times per night, It’s really taking its toll.

We talked to a sleep consultant that said we should just give up for now and try again when we can reason with him. I don’t really buy it, but I also don’t want to get scammed by a different, let’s say more predatory sleep consultant that will just take our money and tell us to let him scream alone in his crib until he knocks out.

Thoughts? Methods you found effective? A word of encouragement? lol. Please help.

I thought our 12 month old was ready for 1 nap as she started fighting her 2nd nap so we transitioned to 5/6.5 schedule and she was taking a 2 hour nap beautifully.

It went ok for a week and then we had like 6 weeks of split nights from hell. She just turned 14M and we went back to 2 naps a few days ago and she’s back to STTN.

Selfishly it’s harder planning days around 2 naps again but she seems to need it. How late did some of you transition?

No advice needed, I’m just sad that we’re beginning our slow descent into no nap. As my 21 month old ages, her sleep needs are going down. Which is normal and fine. We just cut 30 min out of her nap because I can’t be a 6am mom or a 9pm mom. But the slow descent into no nap at all is hurting my heart hahaha

Typing this out of sheer desperation. My 15 month old used to sleep 7-7 from age 3months- 10months. When he started his nanny share he got a couple colds and was more active and started waking at 5am EVERY MORNING. This was in September.

We tried EVERY variation of 2 nap schedule and it still persisted. A little over two weeks ago we switched to 1 nap schedule and still having issues.

LOOKING FOR SIGNS OF HOPE AS I AM GOING CRAZY. Also ANY TIPS OR OBSERVATIONS

DWT 7 Nap 12:15-30 Bedtime 7

here is what the last week has looked like:

Wednesday Awake 5:40 Out of crib 7 Nap 12:40-2:40 Bed 6:45 Asleep 7:15

Thursday Awake 3-4:20 Asleep 4:20-6:20 Out of crib 7 Nap 12:46-3:15 Asleep 7:20

Friday Awake 5-6 Asleep 6-7 Out of crib 7 Nap 12:30-2:15 Asleep 7:05

Saturday Awake 5 Back to sleep 6:55-7:30 Out of crib 7:30 Nap 12:30-1:50 In crib 6:45 Asleep 7

Sunday Awake 6 Nap 12:30-2:50 In crib 6:50 Asleep 7:20

Monday Awake 3-4:50 Asleep 4:50-6:30 Nap 12:15-2:45 In crib 6:45 Asleep 7

Tuesday (today) Awake 5am Asleep 6:30-7:30 7:30 out of crib

My 16 month old is turning 17 months soon and has started having split nights since she turned 15 months. We have done everything we can to adjust her wake windows and nap duration but she will still be up for 2-2.5 hours every night without fail. We dropped a nap, went back to 2 naps, stretched wake windows or shortened them just to figure out if she’s staying up in the middle of the night because of undertiredness or overtiredness but nothing is working. So currently she wakes around 830-930am (her wake time gets pushed back because of her split nights) and she’s averaging 8 hours of sleep nightly. Her naps can go on for 2-2.5 hours, I’ve tried capping it at 1.5 hours before but it ended up with split nights plus very low overall sleep in 24 hours. Her first wake window is around 4.5hours and her second wake window around 6-7 hours. Anyone here whose toddler has had split nights that didn’t go away for a while despite trying everything, when did it stop? Will it stop? Is this normal and developmental? I just can’t figure out the reason for her suddenly wanting to stay up in the middle of the night and if she’s getting too little sleep in 24 hours (she’s averaging 10 hours+ sleep in 24 hours) not to mention that it’s not very sustainable nor ideal for our sleep.

My 18 mo was falling to sleep in his crib for 12 hours overnight and 2 hr naps no problem, until last week, a flip switched, and his sleep has completely fallen apart. Now he refuses naps entirely unless held (can’t transfer him to crib at all). At night, we've tried CIO for 2 nights -- he stood in his crib screaming for over 90 minutes, and we gave in and rocked him to sleep. Checkins without holding/rocking just make him even more upset. The *only* thing that works to get him to sleep at night is rocking him fully to sleep. If we do that, he’ll usually sleep through until ~5/6am. But getting there can take 1–2 hours.

I’m worried we’ve created a bad cycle where he cries forever → we give up → rock him. But also letting him scream that long doesn’t seem to be working either. Has anyone gone through this? Should we stick with extinction? Switch to something like the chair method? Temporarily just give in -- rock/contact naps -- and hope this is just a phase?

Also — how did you fix naps? I feel like everything is spiraling because he’s overtired.

Would really appreciate any concrete plans that worked. We’re desperate!!!!

I’m really at a loss for how to proceed with my son. He’s 18 months and we haven’t found a sustainable sleep training method for him.

A little back story, I (dad) hired a sleep consultant for a little over $300 to help my family establish a routine for our son. He’s an awesome little kid but he’s EXTREMELY strong willed. I told the sleep consultant this and she said it’d be no problem. Well. She recommended Ferber lol. I should’ve known it was a waste of money, she didn’t tell us one thing I haven’t read on Reddit. But I tried it anyway and followed her plan. Solid night time routine, one nap schedule and morning wake-up’s at the right time windows and down by 7:30pm.

My son will stand in his crib and repeatedly vomit from screaming so hard for multiple hours. Doesn’t matter if I’m in the room, out of the room, next to him, downstairs, he is screaming at the top of his lungs. After 5-10 minutes of writhing he vomits, I then clean him and his crib and put him back, it repeats, until eventually I’m so tired and up so late that I just have to take him to my bed and sleep.

My wife is pregnant in the second trimester and I feel like we have to get him on a routine before our next baby but I’m truly stumped at how to proceed with him.

And before you say it, CIO is not an option. I can’t leave my son to lay in his own vomit all night, and sometimes he vomits while laying on his back so I have to make sure he’s not choking.

If anyone has any advice or a similar story I’d love to hear about it. Thanks in advance!

TLDR: son (18mo) vomits and screams when I put him in his crib, I have a good routine for him, need help finding a method that works.

I feel so silly and stupid. For months my son (14MO) struggled with short naps at home, while he could nap for 1.5+ hours at his grandparents' house. We tried everything from staying home with him the whole day (because we thought his days over there might be less stimulating while we plan a lot of outside activities) to white noise, my husband always bringing him to his crib, with and without pacifier, everything.

Except... a warmer sleep sack! Suddenly we realised he was always a bit red and blushing when he got up from his naps at his grandparents' house. They were wrapping him up in fleece pj's and a 3.5 tog sleep sack while we did no pj's and 2 tog sleep sack. According to the book we were right, turns out our son realllly likes being all bundled up in a very warm cocoon and this makes him nap longer. Maybe it's more a weighted blanket kind of thing?

Anyways, thank god we realised this now that he's transitioning to one nap. If only I could get the past months back and enjoy glorious 2 nap days with 1h+ naps instead 30 minutes ones on the dot very time.

So I guess, if your little one naps badly, maybe try wrapping them up in a thick sleep sack. As long as it's safe of course.

Hey everyone!

Checking in from the trenches of a very dark, very early morning.

Our 13-month-old has been creeping his wake-up times earlier and earlier for the last few days, but today was just crazy: 4:49 AM. He doesn't just wake up; he stands up in the crib and starts sobbing immediately.

The weird part? His naps and night time sleep have been totally fine lately… We’ve been sticking to 3.5/3.5/4 wake windows. He even randomly threw us a 2-hour morning nap a few days ago, but he hasn't repeated it since.

I’m 16 weeks pregnant and have a huge work presentation today, so the 4:30 AM standing protest was definitely not on my bingo card. 🫠 We ended up letting him snooze in our bed at 6:00 AM just to survive, but he just whimpered most of the time he finally passed out after milk 6-7ambut now I’m wondering if this "early morning creep" is his way of telling us he’s ready to drop to one nap?

Has anyone else dealt with the standing-crying-at-dawn phase? Is this the transition? Send coffee

Edit: Pretty sure he might be teething! I can see a bump toward the bottom back (looks like a first molar starting, he already has 8 teeth). I'm sure that's adding to the 4 AM misery. 🦷😭

I just got my almost 18 month old to fall asleep on his own for the first time ever and he did not fuss or cry at all! I used the “oops I forgot” method. I learned it from our holistic and gentle sleep consultant. The goal is to get LO to accidentally fall asleep on his own. It took a few days, but I’m excited it worked and wanted to share in case it helps anyone!

So after we read a few books and did our routine and he was all cozy and calm, I got up (we use a floor bed in his room for cosleeping because he’s an awful sleeper) and said “I’ll be right back. Mama just has to go get something quick.” And for the first day I was only out for like 15-20 seconds and came right back. I think I even did it a couple times. He still fell asleep cuddling with me. The next few naps and nights I did the same thing and increased the time I was out. He stayed laying down but I still came back each time and had him fall asleep cuddling with me as usual. No crying or fussing during any of this. I tried to err on the side of being around too much rather than not enough. The goal is to build the trust that I’ll come back, that I’m still around, and that his room is safe, even if I’m not there. This afternoon for his nap I stayed out a good bit. I kept coming back in (didn’t lay down), just rubbed his back, whispered “mama will be right back,” and left again. I also tried to make some noise while I was out of his room so he could know I was still nearby. And then boom he fell asleep while I was out one of the times! First time ever he’s fallen asleep at home without a parent next to him!

I’m hoping this will help us transition to more independent sleep slowly but surely! 🤞🤞🤞

Edit: thanks for the support everyone! Full transparency: I did the same strategy tonight, and he needed me to lay with him to push him over the edge into sleep tonight. He did well and I thought he was asleep, but I looked on the monitor and saw he was still looking for me so I went back in and laid with him after being out several times. We’re seeing this as a marathon and not a sprint though…. More of a practice makes perfect situation! So no rush and just following his cues!

I have a 1 year old boy and since a 4 month sleep regression, he was waking up many times in the night and I always breastfed him back to sleep and we did a lot of contact naps otherwise he wouldn't sleep for very long. From months 9-12, it got worse and he sometimes woke up every 40 minutes or 1 hour. He also was barely eating any solids, which was starting to concern me.

My IG algorithm was mainly full of people saying letting them cry at all is harmful to them, will cause attachment issues...so I was pretty against ferber or CIO.

But if it isn't working for you or your baby, try sleep training! A week before he turned one, I was at my wits end getting no breaks or sleep. The first night was tough as he cried for almost 2 hours before falling asleep, but he slept through the night with one wakeup around 3am, cried for a few minutes and went back to sleep. Each night got easier, by the 3rd or 4th night, he cried less than one minute and was sleeping 10+ hours straight! His appetite greatly increased and he was much happier during the day. I am so so glad we did it. It's been good for my baby, myself, and my relationship with my husband. Don't be afraid to try it, even if they are older.

Newly 1 year old. Sleep and nap trained but not night weaned. Been having 6w of horrific sleep.

We've gradually increased first wake window to 5.5h ish so we were on a 5.5/5.5 schedule for about 4 days, it worked sort of for 2 days, then was overtired yesterday and couldn't nap so had to do contact nap. Some nights were bearable, other nights he had horrible night wakes, woke hour early. Some nights he slept nearly 12h as clearly so tired. Last night was a really rough night and hebwoke early. Today he fell asleep after 3.5WW for 1.5h lol (he usually needs at least 4.5WW) So I have an overtired baby on this 1 nap schedule and he can't handle it really.

Reason I moved to 1 nap was because 2 naps was becoming really problematic. First wake window got longer and longer and I was getting lots of nap fighting, night wakes, EMWs etc. First wake window got to 4.5h, and sometimes refused second nap, resulting in a ridiculous second wake window. We were sort of on 4.5/3/3.75 on 2 naps..I gradually moved the first wake window to 5.5h over a couple of weeks to help with the transition.

What the hell do I do? The advice previously was to fightcpast the tiredness and get baby onto 1 nap but I don't know what to do as neither 1 nap nor 2 naps is working. Should i alternate maybe?

Usually sleeps from about 900pm to 600am, but wakes 2-3 times during that period. Some days she'll have an hour nap, some days she won't.

On the bright side she's at least not screaming and thrashing around for over an hour when I (her father) come in to settle her now.

We've tried things like letting her cry it out, coming in to her room but not picking her up and instead sitting in the chair or patting her, pick up put down ect

None of this has worked , she has zero ability or want to settle herself and will just scream for hours until we cave.

She also refuses to co-sleep.

Getting her down for sleep is a whole other issue, sometimes it goes alright, other nights it's a lot of screaming.

Wife is pregnant and due in November so we're desperate to get this sorted before then

Thanks

My LO is 14 months old. She's been sleep trained since just before 12M (had to use extinction method bc she got more upset when we tried to do check ins). She does very well with night time sleep training. Bed time ~ 8:15pm until she wakes ~ 6:30am and hangs out in her crib until ~ 7:30am.

We've been contact napping almost exclusively since she was born. We rock her until she's asleep and she will only stay asleep in the chair if she's asleep in our arms first. She's still on 2 naps a day. Wake windows are ~ 3/3.5/5.

Contact napping is getting much harder lately bc she's heavier, it's warmer, and she sleeps in our arms as we try to rock her but she seems uncomfy and is taking ~ 50 mins of rocking to be fully asleep.

We want to try to crib nap train her but any time we get close to the crib she FREAKS out. I'm really worried nap training her will mess with her night sleep bc right now she likes her crib and will night sleep very well. I'm scared of building a negative association and it also breaks my heart to hear her like that. (Night time sleep training went well).

ANY tips are extremely appreciated!! 🙏🏼

(Edit for clarification: rocking for 50 mins until she's fully asleep is a new development, going on 4 days, but before that it would only take us 15 mins, sometimes more like 5, to get her fully down for her contact nap so I'm not sure if this is just a phase 😫)

So we are transitioning 12 MO from 2-1 nap and we are still fairly new on this but man oh man…

1. She is soooo wired before bed and hyper and clumsy and I just need to know if this is normal into the transition because I’m like scared tbh LOLLL

2. If her nap is only 45-60 minutes do I move bedtime up even more than 5 hours if I’m following 5/5?

3. Can I adjust schedule to 4.5/5? Or will that give me split nights? Idek what I’m doing but this is horrendous and I want to go back to two naps but that was also horrendous. Someone just give me some good advice 😭

Edit: Thank you to everybody who commented. It seems like the consensus is that the baby seems under tired. I didn’t really know that being active during the day didn’t make a difference so I was just trying to tire her out in the times that she was awake. I wrote the post in pure frustration, I average between 4 to 6 broken hours a night even with my husband being very proactive and helpful. This is not the baby’s fault and it’s not her job to sleep longer so I can get my rest too. I will try longer wake hours for her and see if that works.

My 14 month old has a split night and screams and cries/calls out and babbles for AT least an hour at night up to 2.5 hours and its driving me crazy. we change diapers and feed but more often than night she wants to play. i know this because she actually has a pretty few words and she will just tell us she wants to “google” (we har a google nest mini that she dances to music with), or “abc” (wants me to read this book thing), or whatever activities we do during the day. I can tell when she is teething and it is not that, most nights. When it is of course we medicate her and stay with her. This has been going on for months. i tried everything except nightweaning and I guess that’s what i have to do now. If anyone experiences this, when does it end? I am not looking for someone to analyze my wake windows or naps, since I have probaly tried whatever advice it is that is available to mankind, I have been scouring the internet for the entirity of the 14 months she has been alive because she has always hated sleeping. People say that’s a myth but they literally don’t have my baby lol… We have a bedtime routine since she became 2 months old. She used to protest but is fine with it now, and is usually has no problem initially falling asleep. She naps once a day for 1-2.5 hours on any given day and I have already tried tinkering with the amount of naps and the length of naps and every wake windows imaginable. And temperatures. And sleeping arrangements. She has a fav stuffed animal. She eats fine and is a happy and healthy baby overall. I love her with all my soul but nothing works. Ever.

Sorry for the lengthy and whiney post. When does it end?!!! I am a SAHM and I want to be more than a fucking zombie with her during the day. My husband is very supportive and will get up at night with her too but I can hear her protesting and she keeps me awake anyway and I also have anxiety that gives me sleep problems anyway and my body cannot relax ever. it is so stupid 😭

Ferber trained, STTN now that we had night weaned, down independently for naps and bedtime. Has been the case for months.

Currently doing 3.5/3.5/4. Naps capped at 1 hour each.

In the last week or so, he's been waking up earlier and earlier. Now he's up at 4:30am or so and refusing to go down.

Refusing to sleep by himself for naps. I used to pop him in and walk away. Right now he's stood and crying. Earlier he fell asleep sitting up after crying. I let him sleep like that but he woke up.

I don't understand what has changed in one week. I'm worried because he has family taking care of him when I'm at work. The fact that he goes down easy was one of the reasons they take care of him.

I just need advice, help, anything. I'm close to a breakdown. I thought we were past this stage.

Yesterday he fell asleep in my arms as soon as I picked him up. I can't do contact naps and I don't want him to get used to it either.

Please, any advice.

My baby is 12.5 months old and for basically 6 months or more - I can't remember how long but it's not a new phase or a regression - he has been waking up at 5am. He also is not a calm waker. He wakes and cries. I have tried to resettle him with usual stroke/pat/sing/cuddle techniques but it makes him scream even harder. So then we tried to let him cry and he would cry for an hour and then I would give up. My brother's baby was similar, and he told me to just give him a bottle of milk and he'll go back down. We started doing that and it worked a lot of the time but not all the time. And I'm not sure that was very good advice. Now when he wakes he acts like he is possessed he screams so hard and I feel like I can't break the bottle cycle. He is more dependent on his bottle than ever. I'm looking for thoughts and advice! I'm thinking maybe we stop trying to solve it and just get him up at 5am, but the thing is, he screams and screams and throws his head back when we pick him up, way harder than when he's in the cot, so I think he wants to be asleep but can't quite do it on his own/has a bottle dependency. Other things you should know:

He started nursery two months ago - they give one nap from 12.20-2.20. Sometimes we give him 20-30 mins nap at 8am before we drop him if he seems super tired, which he does a lot of the time. He then goes to bed around 7. Like other people, I have tried later bedtimes and they don't help at all. He wakes at 5am no matter what I do. Happy to get up at 5am but now not sure how to break the bottle scream!! Help!

Originally posted in another group thinking it was this one. 😅 first Reddit post.

I’ve gotten conflicting advice and curious what this subreddit thinks.

1. Wakings are from being undertired. Cut bedtime to 8:45-6:45 and cap naps at 2 hours

2. She’s overtired and needs sleep training

We’ve done so many huckleberry sleep analyses that haven’t worked for night sleep. Nap times seem to work but bedtime is a struggle and then we have anywhere from 1-3 wakes per night that last 30 minutes - 2.5 hours.

She’s not playing any of these times. She’s crying so hard to the point of coughing and when we finally pick her up she cuddles immediately but then struggles to completely fall asleep. She’ll rock herself while being held and reposition herself. Lately she’s been loving the cradle position. She has closed eyes, peaceful, but can’t be put down until hours later. And then she’ll have a random full night in the crib without any significant difference during the day.

6:45 wake up

10-11:15 nap

2:45-3:45 nap

7:45 bedtime

Supposed to be 3.25/3.5/4

But some nights that last wake window is 4.5-5 hours because she can’t get to sleep

Evening routine:

5 dinner

6 outdoor walk

6:30 snack - usually string cheese and fruit pouch

6:45pm bath

7pm oil massage and pjs

7:15 nurse and books

7:30 Brush teeth

Sleep sack and pretend sleeping quiet game

Walk to sleep

7:45 bedtime

My 13 month old still sleeps like an infant.

He slept 6-10 hours at night until 3.5 months.. since then, I’ve slept for 6-8 hours at a time less than 10 times. Most of our nights are waking every 30-90 minutes with the occasional 2-4 hour stretch sprinkled in. I’m in school and I now coach 4 group fitnesses classes a week so my brain and muscles are taking a major beating with little rest and recovery. My husband tries to help but our baby just wants me for sleep.

-Around 2 weeks old I realized there was something more than just crying so since then I haven’t had any caffeine.
-At 2 months I fully cut dairy and a handful of other foods. Eczema started becoming more and more of an issue. All of these changes helped & he was a while new happy baby.
-At 3.5 months we stopped sleeping. Nothing changed at all. I had always just sat there and nursed him to almost asleep, then once he fell asleep, I’d hold him for a couple of minutes then I’d place him in his crib. Until one day he refused to go down so I rocked him & now I’ve rocked approximately 7,000 miles to help soothe him to sleep.
-At 6 months he had his first negative reaction to dairy so we cut it back out. It was a delayed reaction so about 3 hours after the exposure is when the rash started (We’re supposed to try it again but I am terrified).
-As of 13 months, he eats 3 meals, has 2 snacks, and nurses 3 times per day….. and however many times we need to at night to get us what little sleep we can get.

-He was a c-section baby
-He had a terrible latch for the first 3ish months..
-He refused to co sleep so he’s been in his own bed since birth…. Trust me I gave it my best shot when he stopped sleeping. He hated it.
-He will not take a bottle no matter how hard I have tried.
-He wakes screaming crying sometimes and playing and happy other times with no rhyme or reason.
-I’ve gotten our schedule set within a 15 minute variance through the day.
-When his dad has tried to do middle of the night wakings with him it is just several hours of our baby screaming and flailing until he falls asleep but will wake and restart the game when his dad tries to transfer to the crib.
-We have tried letting him just cry for bit in his crib to see if he will resettle, but 9 times out of 10, he’ll have pooped and just been sitting in it so I stopped leaving him for long once he wakes up.
-His room is a consistent temp, there is no sound, and the lighting doesn’t change as the sun comes up. His room is consistently not too cold, but not too hot, pitch black, and a noise machine.
-Our pediatrician just says “he’ll sleep eventually” but at this point I’m starting to wonder if there is more to the situation than just a baby that won’t sleep at night.
-He naps well most days and transfers quickly after falling asleep. Usually within 10 minutes he’s in the crib. At night though… I will rock and sing for 1-3 hours before I can get a successful transfer.
-His schedule is solid and consistent. I don’t think it’s a schedule problem. I’m sure it’s a sleep association problem partially, but it just feels like more.
-We don’t do screens directly. If one is on, then it’s fine but he doesn’t watch anything other than the fish on the Roku screensaver. We are outside at least 30+ minutes a day unless it’s storming and we get out of the house daily.
-We play rough with him and flip him around through the day to help with his vestibular system.

Current schedule:
7:30 wake (if we make it that far)
11:15 nap (if 1.5+ hours we do one nap only, but if it’s less than 1.5 we do a second nap at 3:15 for 39-60 minutes depending on how long nap 1 was)
7:30-8pm bedtime. Up until a couple of weeks ago he was waking at 6:15 every day. But bedtime was v 6-6:30 most days & I struggled to get home before 7pm some days.

We do a bath every night for 15-20 minutes (allergist recommendation for his eczema), lotions/creams, then into his sleep sack, then nursing and sleep.

Please help me figure out what I’m missing.

Our gal has always been amazing with bedtime; while we "sleep trained" in that she's been going into her crib awake & falling asleep on her own, we were doing a bottle before bed until recently (she's 15 months). We probably *should* have been brushing her teeth after the bottle but she loved having milk before bed so much that we didn't (we brushed before, after bath, before books). When we finally switched to a straw cup of milk we decided we really should be brushing after the milk. So, we tried to integrate tooth brushing after milk, followed by a story, then her usual routine (sleep sack, one verse of a song, then into her crib). First of all, she HATES having her teeth brushed, and each night since we started she's resisted more and more. All of the tips on toothbrushing are very high-energy, chipper, rile-her-up kinds of things. Even the story seems to wind her up, and suddenly when we try to put her in her crib she either: a) cries out mama mama mama when I leave the room or b) chats with her stuffies for a while. I don't mind b) at all, that seems like nice self-soothing behaviour. But the first is breaking my heart and she just seems upset and confused. She really only *truly* calms down/gets sleepy during milk, so I'm feeling a bit lost! I suppose my ask is... anyone have any tips for getting a toddler who hates having her teeth brushed to accept this without it making her super sad right before bed?!

My baby just turned 1, we sleep trained using modified Ferber around 8m old so it's been 4 months now. It was rough and took a while. He has more good nights than bad at this point, but was overtired today due to an earlier wake and less than ideal naps, and he screamed so hard at bedtime for like 20 minutes. My guilt is eating at me. For those who had difficult babies who are older now, did the guilt ever go away? 😭