r/sleeptrain • u/After-Ad2800 • Dec 09 '25
1-2 years old How are more people not talking about this training method???
I saw deep on a Reddit thread that someone went into their baby’s room every minute and trained their baby that way. I want to shout this training method from the rooftops. It was soooo quick and easy and we have tried many other methods.
We used the stopwatch on our phones and went in the first time after 30 seconds. Then each time we went in we soothed our babe, then left again and waited one minute. No longer than that ever. The first time we did this method (at nap) took about 15 mins total with the soothing time, but that meant our babe only cried for 11 mins and 30 seconds- I went in the room 12 times. Never picked him up, just told him we loved him, he was safe, learning a new skill is hard but we’re right outside the door. It was so sweet to comfort him and the crying never got out of control bc it was only for a minute max.
Edit to add what check ins looked like: we kept the check ins short- 20 seconds to a minute. Our guy was standing in his crib so we hugged him and told him things like “you’re safe, we love you, you’re learning a new skill and it’s hard but you’re doing great” etc etc. as soon as there was a slight settle (or we hit what felt like about a minute or maybe even you want to do two) we left again. And started the timer for 1 min, and then went back in and soothed again. Ideally he settled a little bit, but he didn’t always stop crying fully.
At bedtime it took 7 mins total, he cried for 4mins 30 seconds. I am sooo grateful to whoever proposed this idea.
To me, the concept makes amazing sense- when your baby cries, you respond. They learn that and eventually tire themselves out and go to sleep knowing that if they need you you’ll respond. Basically, you just have to have more patience than your baby.
This felt honestly really good in my nervous system and I hope, hope, hope it works for more of you!
Background: we had sleep trained around 8 months letting our babe cry for about 15 mins- and it sucked, I felt so stressed through that time. He slept through the night then though for about 10 months straight then we hit a regression where we couldn’t put him down without him crying so we reverted to rocking him to sleep. This is when we just tried this new method.
Edit: we tried the chair method and that really upset my son, but for whatever reason with leaving and coming back he was able to learn to self soothe! So, just a note of encouragement if you’ve tried the chair method and feel like your presence overstimulates your child. In that way it did the same for our baby too.
Additionally, while this method may be similar to a modified Ferber, the difference is that the goal is not to extend the amount of time you’re gone from the room, the point is to show your child that you will be there for them quickly every single time they cry. That comfort allowed our son to feel confident to fall asleep on his own.
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u/wval93 Dec 09 '25
How does this work if your baby didn’t get calmed down when you enter the room to comfort them? Mine ramps up
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u/FlexPointe Dec 09 '25
Right?! I love that this worked for OP but this would not have worked for my kids. We tried the chair method and baby cried for 2.5 hours before we aborted the mission. She was NOT soothed by my presence, it made her mad mad mad.
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u/cori_irl Dec 10 '25
Same, chair method pissed my baby off. But 5 minute check-ins worked like a charm. One method failing doesn’t mean the other will.
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u/Thetrailer Dec 14 '25
Did you let your child cry for 2.5 hours while sitting in the room next to it?
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u/cori_irl Dec 10 '25
I did a method like OP’s, but 5 minutes instead of 1, so my baby had a bit more time to work through things on his own. Never increased from 5 minutes (unless he was ramping down and on his way to sleep).
He did (and to this day still does) get more upset when I do a check-in. But after I leave, he calms down after about a minute. So the check-in helps, but it’s not immediate, it’s slightly delayed.
I had the exact same question as you in the beginning. At first, his ability to calm down after a check-in was not great, and I couldn’t see that he was gradually getting better at it. I thought it would never work. But I stuck with it, and it worked so well. And I never had to let him full-bore cry for more than five minutes.
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u/PomeloNo5892 Dec 15 '25
Mine is exactly the same. She ramps up no matter what we do. She screams like she is in pain. She's nearly 5 months.
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u/Relevant-Raise-8835 Dec 09 '25
So when you went in, you talked to them saying they were safe and you’re here. You comforted them with whatever cribside comforting you did. As soon as they were calm you stopped and left right? And then started your timer again for a minute? Repeat?
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
Exactly! The check-ins were short- 20 seconds to a minute, just to the point of settling some, and then we started again!
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u/less_is_more9696 Dec 09 '25
We did this modified FERBER method for about 9 months. We basically went in every 3-5 minutes. Typically FERBER the check-in intervals get longer and longer.
It worked well for us as well. However, I do think this method can create frustration for some babies and can be too stimulating. You saw progress really quickly, which is a positive sign that the method is good for your baby. But I imagine it might not be the right fit for all.
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u/InteractionNo9033 Dec 09 '25
This is what is happening with us 🥲 he gets so overstimulated and just starts freaking out
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u/moroccan___ Dec 09 '25
Nice! Thank you for sharing! This probably would work for babies that don’t mind check-ins. My first got worse everytime we checked in (Ferber) so that wouldn’t have worked. I am curious to know if this still works 3-4 days after doing it
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u/Ok-Sir3751 Dec 09 '25
Lol same! He goes berserk the moment we enter the room. He is SUPER clingy. No method worked for us, it actually made things so much worse. We never realised how easy we had it until we tried to sleep train...
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u/tsa26 Dec 09 '25
For how long did you soothe your baby? For as long as it takes or? For example: baby crying one minute, you went in, soothe for 15min, baby stop crying, you went out, baby start crying, you wait one minute then go in and soothe for half an hour,... ???
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
We kept it super short! Soothe for like 20 seconds to a minute (even if he didn’t fully stop crying) just settled him enough. We hugged him and said things like we love you, you’ve got this, you’re safe, learning a new skill can be hard but you’re doing a great job, etc etc.
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u/FisiWanaFurahi Dec 09 '25
This is exactly the way they say to crate train dogs or train dogs to be left alone without creating separation anxiety. I’m actually surprised it’s not more commonly used with teaching babies to fall asleep alone!
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u/shadethrower99 Dec 09 '25
That’s essentially what I do with my 4.5 month old. We put her down and give her the pacifier and then leave. If she cries, normally she’ll spit out the binky to cry so we just go back in, give it back to her, then walk out again. Most of the time we only have to do that 3-4 times before she just falls asleep. Occasionally if she’s overtired or over stimulated, I’ll get her situated in the crib and read a book to her in a calming voice to calm her or last resort I’ll pick her and hold her for a bit to reset her nervous system but I think being super responsive has really paid so far, she loves her crib and sleeps comfortably in it and knows someone will always come if she’s upset so she feels safe.
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u/K3ndu Dec 09 '25
getting to sleep with pacifier isnt sleep training
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u/shadethrower99 Dec 10 '25
Sleep training is the process of helping a baby learn to fall asleep independently and stay asleep through the night. It typically involves establishing a consistent bedtime routine and gradually teaching the baby to self-soothe without being rocked, fed, or held as they fall asleep. Not sure what your sleep training credentials are to be policing people but I never claimed I was sleep training. Just sharing that I do something similar and that it works for my baby.
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u/K3ndu Dec 10 '25
Ofcourse it works because it feels the same as vreastfeeding for the kid but its not like it helps him to get to sleep by himself.
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u/shrimpfarm Dec 09 '25
Hey we did basically this same thing 3 weeks ago with our 6 month old!
Once we got his schedule down (from Mod advice in this sub!) we tried a very similar method of sleep training. When he woke the first time we’d count to 30 then check on him and soothe without picking him up. Second wake up and all follow ups we’d count to 60. It only took a few check ins for two nights. Now he falls asleep independently without wakes until morning, for the most part. There have been a small handful of nights where he wakes at like 3am and we count to 30 while watching on the monitor, then he just falls asleep again before we go in.
I’m glad to see other people had success with it too.
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u/paprika9876 Dec 09 '25
How was his sleep before doing this? I want to try but my baby’s sleep is sooo awful I feel like it won’t work as well. He wakes every hour/30 mins
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
It was never quite as bad as that, but you gotta start somewhere right!
My working philosophy on this is that we’re teaching them that when they cry we will come. And I imagine that helps to soothe the nervous system over the long run that they can trust in us coming to get them when they cry. Maybe that helps them to feel more settled? I’d be curious to hear if you try it how it goes!
I mentally prepared to be doing this for an hour- it just didn’t happen to take us as long.
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u/Careful_Setting_8747 Dec 09 '25
Curious what schedule you are doing? I also have a 6 month old and need to make some changes !
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u/shrimpfarm Dec 10 '25
Schedule is 2.5/2.5/2.5/3 now! He’s up between 6-7am, and going to sleep between 7-8pm. His naps vary a lot still, sometimes an hour or sometimes 25 mins haha. I’ll take it for the nighttime sleep.
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u/Used-Award-4860 23 m | [PUPD] | complete Dec 09 '25
I love love love gentle sleeping methods!!!! I did the pupd method and never had to leave my son's side. He sleeps on his own now and it is the best thing ever.
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u/jellyfishblanket Dec 09 '25
If you don’t mind are you able to go through what you did? Is pupd just picking up at every cry and then putting down right when they stop? And you’re crib-side for the whole time? How old was your baby when you did this?
Currently going through it with my 6 month old and starting to lose my mind a little bit. Some nights it takes hours to get her to sleep or some nights she’ll wake up every two hours. I am exhausted lol
Edit to add: did you do this for naps too?
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u/Used-Award-4860 23 m | [PUPD] | complete Dec 09 '25
I used to pick him up every time he would cry and then shush him(did not rock!!!!) and then put him down when he would calm down even a little. Sometimes he would start crying right when I put him down so I would pick him up again. It was a long process because there has to be a lot of patience from your side.
I sleep trained at 9 months because I did not have the guts to actually do the CIO(I did not know about gentle methods).
Also we tried this method at both naps and bedtime because we were at our wits end with him taking 30 mins just to fall asleep. You can start by trying just at naps or at bedtime just to slowly introduce your baby. Best of luck!!!
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u/jellyfishblanket Dec 09 '25
Great, thank you!! Will definitely try this because I too am at my wits end lol. I have been starting to feel like sleep training was probably going to be in my near future but knew I did not want to do CIO. Fingers crossed!!
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u/Dawnarrow Dec 09 '25
My kid doesn't stop crying unless I rock. Is the concept the same? If he cries, I pick him up, rock until he doesn't cry, then put him down? How long should he be calm before putting him down? My son essentially starts crying immediately I put him down.
Simply going in as OP did and saying "hush hush I love you go to sleep this is hard" wouldn't do anything for my baby, he'd probably just be more inconsolable by me coming in without actually helping him.
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u/Used-Award-4860 23 m | [PUPD] | complete Dec 09 '25
Rocking was a habit I wanted to break because my back was breaking lol. For 9 continuous months I had to rock him for 25-30 minutes only for him to sleep for 35-45mins and it was exhausting. So I did not rock him during pupd no matter what.
As soon as he would stop fussing, I would put him down. And sometimes he would start crying in the middle of me putting him down. I would still put him down and sometimes he would quiet down and then start crying in a few seconds and I would pick him up again. If he would cry instantly then again I would pick him up.
Eventually in a few days the intervals between him crying were increasing and he startes sleeping sooner.
If this method doesn't work for you then you can try other gentle methods or just switch to ferber or CIO.
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u/jellyfishblanket Dec 09 '25
Were there any times that you’d end up just saving the nap or did he eventually settle every time?
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u/Used-Award-4860 23 m | [PUPD] | complete Dec 09 '25
Oh no. I am not at all a patient person and did sometimes get frustrated and would rock him to sleep lol. But being consistent is very important. Also being super lenient to the baby and yourself.
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u/jellyfishblanket Dec 09 '25
The patience aspect will definitely be hard for me too. I tried with naps today and it worked for the first one. However she woke up after like 20 minutes. And then the third one, it was about 40 minutes of trying. And now I am typing this as she’s asleep in my arms after feeding her to sleep 🫠 But we will keep trying every day! I am determined to make this work lol
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Dec 09 '25
[deleted]
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u/SnooAvocados6932 [MOD] 2.5 & 5.5yo | snoo, sleep hygiene, schedules Dec 09 '25
I am so glad this worked for you!! 🙌🏻
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u/ZestySquirrel23 2 yr | CIO @ 4m | complete Dec 09 '25
That's awesome that it worked so well for you, but my toddler gets more upset when we leave after a check in, so this would've escalated crying for him.
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
In the first few minutes it did escalate him, but we never left him to cry for more than a minute, so it really couldn’t escalate all that much!
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u/megs588 Dec 10 '25
Unless I pick up my 8 month old, they will continue to scream and it'll escalate no matter what I do. How are you guys able to calm down your baby without picking them up?
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u/Phase-Internal Dec 10 '25
Our first did that and honestly we couldn't figure it out until she moved from her cot to a regular bed at 2 and a bit years. We didn't to the check ins at all for cio because they made her cry even harder. Still after 3 days she was going down right away without crying, the rest of the night took longer and we still had to pick her up when she fussed and didn't go down herself.
Our second does calm a little when we come in and talk to him, so I really think it's just baby to baby. Though I'm not an expert.
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u/juliothecat Dec 14 '25
Mine needed/needs to be picked up too. We just went with it. We did something similar to OP but used 5 minute increments and tried to leave after a minute or so. I'd pick her up, sit in the chair, sing one of her songs and put her back (just a short version of our bedtime routine). Sometimes she'd cry as soon as I put her down but we'd be back in there in another 5 minutes. The whole thing took maybe 3 tries the first night and went down from there.
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u/invisiblestrng Dec 09 '25
Wow I want to try this with my 9 month old but scared because she gets sooo worked up! Did your baby just keep sitting/standing at all and did you have to lay back down?
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
Kept standing. We tried both- laying him down and not. It actually worked better when we let him keep standing. Eventually he sat down then laid down on his own. But he’s 2, so maybe give both a try? He was really fighting us laying him down so we just stopped doing that and it still worked.
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u/pickledaze Dec 09 '25
How long did it take to soothe him each time? Did he stop crying when you went in every minute or did you just offer reassurance through the crying? And how long did you stay in the room each time? Just curious to see if I can implement something similar with my cosleeping baby once he transitions to his own bed / room. Didn’t have success when we tried a gentle method around 8 months but could try your way. Ty.
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
Hi! We were in there maybe 20 seconds to a minute. We tried to keep it short, once I stayed a little longer just bc it had been 10 mins total. I would hug him (he was standing) and say “I love you, this is hard, you’re learning a new skill, you’re doing great, I’m right outside the door, we’re learning together, you are safe” etc etc. some combination of those soothing words and he’d settle slightly. I’d then leave and immediately start my timer. We did not pick him up because I felt like that would upset him more.
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u/mahojanyteakwood Dec 10 '25
Did u lay him down since he was standing each time?
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 10 '25
I started by doing that, but he was fighting it a lot and it seemed to make him more upset, so I stopped and just left him standing and he sat down eventually and then laid down on his own and fell asleep. So I’d say feel it out!
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u/girlvsmachine Dec 09 '25
So to get clarity - in that 11 mins the baby never actually stopped crying right?
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
In the 11 months we had no issues! After the first sleep train he slept through the night and went down without crying. But then the 2 year old regressions hit (at about 20 months)
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u/ALittleNightMusing Dec 09 '25
To echo the other commenter - each time you went back after 1 min did baby stop crying? Or did they keep crying and after you reassured them you went out for another minute? How long were you in the room each time?
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u/girlvsmachine Dec 09 '25
Yes this is exactly what I want to know
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
Oh sorry! Misread your question. We settled him to the point of not crying or like very gently crying when we went in. And initially, the second we turned away he’d start up crying again, the first couple times we left were kinda intense, but it was only for one minute and then we were back in. And by like minute 7 I’d say there were moments where he was starting to soothe himself and wasn’t crying as hard or would have moments of no crying at all, but if he was crying at the end of the minute we’d be right back in there. And then he stopped and settled himself and fell asleep.
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u/girlvsmachine Dec 09 '25
This is where I would struggle. I feel like anytime I’ve tried the check in method, my girl has just escalated with harder crying/screaming
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u/SirBottomtooth Dec 09 '25
First day or 2 is hard but they eventually get it, having sane parents with somewhat of a normal sleep schedule is much more important to a baby’s development than letting them cry for a few minutes so they figure out how to go to sleep themselves.
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
Totally! But when they only cry for a minute, or you could even do 30 seconds! It’s much more bearable than leaving them to scream for however long. I personally didn’t find it too bad (a couple times I went in at like 50 seconds), but personally I was sooo surprised at how quickly he ended up settling when he knew we were right outside the door coming back every minute when he needed us
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u/girlvsmachine Dec 09 '25
When you say “settled to the point of not crying or very gently crying” - how did you approach this if the crying just escalated?
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
We kept it short - hugs and kind words. 20 seconds to a minute- in our case there was always some level of settling (even if it wasn’t a full stop on the crying) and once we got that moment of settle we left again. Which is hard! Don’t get me wrong, but you go back in a minute to let them know again that you’re still there and you love them and they’re safe and you’re in it together.
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u/mollygk Dec 09 '25
What did you do at the 2y regressions?
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
This is what we did- we tried letting him cry for 10-15 and it was horrible and did nothing and I didn’t feel comfortable letting him cry longer. So we ended up rocking him to sleep ever night - until this!
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u/cheese_fan_100 Dec 09 '25
Sounds like a similar idea to pick up put down! “Have more patience than your baby” is harder than it sounds ha / be more commited than a baby that wants something different….
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u/lrbsto Dec 09 '25
This haha I was shocked at how stressful PUPD was on ME. I came out of bed time feeling like I was just in a war zone and needing like an hour to decompress.
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
A test of patience for sure! The thing I loved about it was that we didn’t have to leave him crying alone which really just upset my nervous system and was so hard for me. So for me it would have been worth being patient for however long it took to not have to just sit and listen to him cry
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u/chicoravelli Dec 09 '25
Trying this. I wanted to sleep train at 4 months but my husband didn’t understand. Now he wants to train with limited crying but that’s proved near impossible, especially now that we’re knee deep in the 8 month regression.
You’re saying you did naps first? How did that work?
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u/666elluh Dec 09 '25
Good day sleep is the foundation for good night sleep, so if you think your kiddo will do better starting at night (having had good naps) do that! I’ve had pretty similar experiences as OP tho!
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
I think technically most people say to start with nights first. I just read about it one morning and so did nap first! So I’m guessing the experts would say to do night first!
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u/cyclemam 1y | DIY gentle | completish Dec 12 '25
With a baby this young the advice is usually to make naps happen however you can "come hell or high water"- on an age appropriate schedule - so you've not got an overtired baby at bedtime.
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u/lizzie7654 Dec 09 '25
Adding to the question of how long you stayed in to comfort? Did you comfort until not crying and fully calm each time ? Or when did you know to leave and go back out for 1min?
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u/anonymoussquash1 Dec 09 '25
Yeah I pretty much did this with my daughter but every 2 minutes and I would pick her up! I guess that’s just the pick up put down method actually 😂
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u/shittercrittersmama Dec 09 '25
The Chair Method was a godsend to us. We have a 10 week old and will be skipping right over Ferber/modified Ferber to the Chair Method. It was way more gentle for our little one a few years back and thereby made it more gentle on our parent hearts.
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u/anonnursedg Dec 09 '25
At what age did you start the chair method? I’ve been curious about it. My LO is 19 weeks and still sleeps in our room, but screams unless nursed back to sleep. I’ve laid her in my bed a couple times (no contact) and that helps her, being right next to me. So I was wondering about chair, but then confused because we’re literally only 5 from her all night and even that doesn’t help…so wondering if she’s not old enough?
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u/bigdipboy Dec 09 '25
I’m having to re sleep train my 20 month old now but it definitely does work.
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u/Bobby_Federico73 Dec 10 '25
This method totally worked for us! We accidentally fell into this method by following our babies lead and our gut instincts. Now our baby can go to sleep fully awake in less than 10 minutes.
Showing your baby safe secure attachment, that you’ll always be there for them is the only thing that works in my opinion!
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u/how-to-endure Dec 10 '25
Did a similar one after finding the Happy Sleeper book. It's the same concept, the wave method, but we'd do 5min. We could pick up or not in addition to say always the same words. You should you're there to reassure, that you're constant - like a wave. The book says 5min ensures baby never goes to panic/abandonment cry/fear. My 11 month old was taking 4h to put to sleep and I was done with life. First time we tried this, she was asleep in 20min.
Just please note that her sleep would always go a bit worse whenever she would be teething, sick, have a sleep regression ou sleep spurt, etc.
I recommend the book to loads of friends and it worked for all of them too.
Good luck!
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u/Till_Naive Dec 10 '25
We did this too with 5 min check ins. Isn’t this just modified Ferber?
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u/how-to-endure Dec 10 '25
According to the book, no... They argue that 5min cry is only complaining and not panic cry or fear of having been abandoned - your baby will learn you will always come and check and be there if needed, so they can start to self soothe. My understanding of the Ferber method is that you increase the spacing between checks, which means you might end up leaving the baby to cry for like 30min, 1h, etc - whatever long it takes on the increased periods. The wave method defends that more than 5min and you'll basically traumatise your kid - I'm sure that's debatable, but I just couldn't leave my kid crying like that (I tried and I think we were 30min in with crying and it broke me)...
Did it work for you?
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u/Till_Naive Dec 10 '25
Oh interesting! We opted for that because I physically couldn’t handle anymore than 5 mins. Those 5 mins felt like an eternity but it was comforting knowing it would never be longer than that. It did work for us, although I would say it took a week or two before he was sleeping through the night (at 7 months). I imagine the Ferber would have possibly been quicker but who knows.
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u/Platinum_Rowling Dec 10 '25
This is basically the Ferber method. It is talked about a lot.
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 10 '25
The Ferber method is extending time each time- up to letting them cry for up to 30 mins at a time, maybe more. This is quite different as you never let them cry for more than a minute. It’s much gentler and in my opinion builds something totally different- it builds security that you will respond quickly which helps babies trust that they can fall asleep safely. The Ferber method extinguishes the crying.
I had heard Ferber mentioned many times but no one had proposed this method of going in every minute. This method was sooo easy and gentle and I absolutely loved it so wanted to share!
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u/Marinoskii Dec 12 '25
Did it work well for nap training and if so, how old is babe
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 12 '25
It worked great! We did this for 3 days and now he falls asleep on his own with no crying. We did it for naps and bedtime. He is almost 2!
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Dec 09 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 10 '25
The one minute check ins worked really well for us! We’re now 3 days out and for the last 2 naps he didn’t cry at all, at bedtime it took 3 minutes (3 check ins) and he was done. When we left our baby longer he got more and more worked up, going in every minute (in my opinion) let him know we would respond quickly to his cries and gave him the comfort of knowing he could fall asleep safely and if he needed anything we’d respond. One minute of crying felt great to me and worked really well!
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u/Legal-Baby-5130 Dec 09 '25
Yeah I did this with my first baby and she has slept through the night from 13 months and self settled to sleep from around 9 months.
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u/TA123445566 Dec 09 '25
Since mine child is sleeping well.already I am thinking of leaving this group. But the main reason is that 99% of posts here are about CIO. The soft methods are not much in course here. And I really dont know why.
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u/WorriedJelly2335 Dec 09 '25
Because some babies cry more intensely during and after check ins.
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u/neatlion Dec 09 '25
Yes. Our cries a lot more if we check in or even pick her up to soothe. She gets more frustrated. We were going to do gentle ferber method, but she did not take well to it and CIO worked better. Most night she cries out of frustration, not discomfort and as a parent I know the difference.
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u/LikeAMix Dec 09 '25
Im guessing it’s because those methods didn’t work for most people here. If your baby is a good enough sleeper to sleep train with soft methods you’re probably not posting about it on Reddit. You’re too busy sleeping.
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u/Generaless Dec 09 '25
This is the answer. My oldest I sleep trained with pick up put down and it worked. I was preaching gentle sleep methods. My second nothing worked, and I mean nothing. He would scream for three hours even if we were rocking him, putting him to sleep on us etc. We hired a consultant, did the chair method, he still cried for three hours every night the whole training until the night where we had to leave the room. Went to sleep after two minutes. Just was overstimulated by our presence. Third and last, did Ferber after trying gentle sleep methods, with limited success. Got some good advice here that worked! She still doesn't sleep through the night, but one day we will get there.
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u/Pad_Squad_Prof Jan 03 '26
Yay! So no laying the baby back down? Just left him standing in the crib? This is what we’re dealing with. And it’s hard because he cries harder when he realizes we’re not picking him up. I could use any advice on training him that we’re not abandoning him!
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u/After-Ad2800 Jan 04 '26
We laid him back down initially but he was fighting it super hard. So eventually we just went in, hugged him, told him he was loved, etc then left. I never felt like we were abandoning him bc 60 seconds later we were back in.
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u/Alarmed-Marsupial647 Dec 09 '25
I never let my son cry. Genuinely. Even during the day, tbh he’s not much of a crier anyway more of a moaner but anyway. I reached my breaking point when his average wakes were 6-8 times a night for 3 months straight and I did every night all by myself because he is ebf.
At this point I am seriously considering cio
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u/After-Ad2800 Dec 09 '25
Something for me that was helpful was that sometimes to get him from a nap or from bed in the morning is that it would take me 30 seconds to a minute to transition from what I was doing to get him. And crying for that minute was totally ok. And so pick a time that you’re comfortable with- if it’s 45 seconds, try that! I personally didn’t find 60 seconds of tears to be too long so that worked for me!
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u/Alarmed-Marsupial647 Dec 09 '25
I tried Ferber with him today. Like an idiot I put him down on his side (his preferred sleep position) left the room and he was asleep in minutes but he doesn’t seem to put himself in that position unless I’m lying next to him in order to feed him.
He’s 24 weeks so he knows how to roll to the side but somehow doesn’t associate it with sleep.
I’ll try what you’ve suggested and see how it goes
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u/ProfessionOk6415 Dec 09 '25
That sounds really exhausting, I hope you’re ok. There’s lots of sleep training methods, you aren’t stuck between feeding to sleep 6-8 times a night and CIO. Maybe consider trying other methods, like the one OP suggested. We used the chair method with our 13m old and it was so easy and effective
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Dec 09 '25
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u/BooptheFloof Dec 09 '25
Let’s not share misinformation here, friend
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Dec 09 '25
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u/sleeptrain-ModTeam Dec 09 '25
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Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25
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u/sleeptrain-ModTeam Dec 09 '25
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u/Unusual_Payment7235 Dec 09 '25
I am going to try this!! My 12months old only nap in her stroller or on me, and wake up 3 times per night, we already slept train her twice and she used to sleep through the night when she was 8 months old :))) I will report on how it went
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u/getouttahere27 Dec 15 '25
I’m trying to sleep train my 5 month old, and I was wondering if you used a pacifier? Sometimes he will sleep with a pacifier when I check in and will sleep well after that, and other times he will fall asleep without a check in and no pacifier. I’m not sure if I’m getting the wake window wrong or if the nighttime sleep is just better for sleep pressure that he doesn’t need pacifier. If the pacifier falls off, he doesn’t need it to be reinserted.
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u/_DirtyBirdy_ Dec 22 '25
Mine just did a massive regression at 20 months. Was sleeping the night perfectly with minor wake ups requiring me to go in and put him to sleep every few days but for the last month and a half at consistently 130 to 2 AM he wakes up crying and if I go back into his room, lay him back down with my hand on his side, he screams louder and more angry until it results and sleeping in my bed now or on me in the nursing chair.
Has anyone experienced this type of regression? My first one was not even close to this type.
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u/Dependent-Bite3457 Dec 27 '25
You aren’t alone, we are currently going through this at 13 months. Every night it takes 2 hours to get him to sleep
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Jan 02 '26
I’m in the same boat. Please did you figure it out?
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u/Dependent-Bite3457 Jan 15 '26
I did, we ended up sleep training with the gentle Ferber method and now it takes him 5 mins to fall asleep, our lives are changed forever!
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u/Unable_Huckleberry_3 7d ago
I wish I had seen this post 3 months ago. I did a modified version of this but added shushing and patting. Baby was asleep in ten minutes tonight.
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u/vpvladimirovv Mar 27 '26
We were using a mobile application to track the babies sleep, as the first baby had troubles with the sleep and it worked pretty well. Now me and some colleagues decided to build even better application of this type (you can ping me for info, if you want) and the second baby is even better with the sleep.
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u/RNstrawberry Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25
This is basically Ferber (choosing your own check in time), but this method would be extremely stimulating for my baby personally. Going in every minute would just keep her up and expecting me to come back. I think the chair method would be a lot less stimulating for some.