r/sleeptrain • u/GorillaDawn • Apr 03 '26
1-2 years old 5am wakeups every day, created a bottle dependency, help!
My baby is 12.5 months old and for basically 6 months or more - I can't remember how long but it's not a new phase or a regression - he has been waking up at 5am. He also is not a calm waker. He wakes and cries. I have tried to resettle him with usual stroke/pat/sing/cuddle techniques but it makes him scream even harder. So then we tried to let him cry and he would cry for an hour and then I would give up. My brother's baby was similar, and he told me to just give him a bottle of milk and he'll go back down. We started doing that and it worked a lot of the time but not all the time. And I'm not sure that was very good advice. Now when he wakes he acts like he is possessed he screams so hard and I feel like I can't break the bottle cycle. He is more dependent on his bottle than ever. I'm looking for thoughts and advice! I'm thinking maybe we stop trying to solve it and just get him up at 5am, but the thing is, he screams and screams and throws his head back when we pick him up, way harder than when he's in the cot, so I think he wants to be asleep but can't quite do it on his own/has a bottle dependency. Other things you should know:
He started nursery two months ago - they give one nap from 12.20-2.20. Sometimes we give him 20-30 mins nap at 8am before we drop him if he seems super tired, which he does a lot of the time. He then goes to bed around 7. Like other people, I have tried later bedtimes and they don't help at all. He wakes at 5am no matter what I do. Happy to get up at 5am but now not sure how to break the bottle scream!! Help!
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u/Kindly_Factor_5758 Apr 03 '26
Following bc my 14 mo is the same. We have tried it all-more daytime sleep, less daytime sleep, later bedtime, earlier bedtime, pop-ins after 5/530 (which def make it worse), CIO early morning. We have been very consistent in not getting him until his wake time at 6. Occasionally he will wake up calmly but usually it’s on the rare days he sleeps until 545/6 am.
So solidarity with the loud early morning wakes. I feel like I must be doing something wrong but I can’t think of anything else to try lol
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u/GorillaDawn Apr 03 '26
I think that feeling like you’ve done something wrong is what I find most stressful. I don’t find it sooo bad getting up at 5am every day because I go to bed between 9pm and 10pm and be generally sleeps through except for the odd outburst. We sleep trained him at 6 months using the Ferber method and it was transformative but we never managed to get him sleeping past 5/5.30. I’m convinced it’s because I’m doing something wrong, which drives me crazy. I think we’ll try CIO again. Other thing is, we try to push his bedtime later but he was soooo tired by 6.45 he had to go to bed. He had 2.5-3 hours’ sleep over two naps today so I don’t know why!
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u/Kindly_Factor_5758 Apr 03 '26
100% agree! We did nearly the exact same thing, TCB at 6.5 months but have only rarely had him sleep past 5/530. I also don’t mind it so much bc we go to bed early too but he’s sooooo sad sounding when he wakes at that hour and the few times he’s gone until 6 he seems much happier. At least we know we’re not alone with these sad early bird babies lol
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u/GorillaDawn Apr 04 '26
It’s exactly this - seeing how chill he is when he does go back to sleep til 6/6.30 because I gave him milk, reinforces the fact that he’s waking at 5 screaming because he’s still tired and doesn’t want to be awake! It’s a conundrum! Currently leaving him to cry until 6am and as per the advice of this group I’ll do it every day for 2 weeks. Day 1…
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u/dutch-courage321 Apr 03 '26
Following because this sounds exactly like my 11 month old! Except that mine is still on two naps and breastfed but he will not chill in his cot nor on me in his nursery. Its either boob or screaming and seems impossible to break the cycle 😵💫
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u/GorillaDawn Apr 03 '26
Even just the solidarity is helpful! I didn't know other people had crazy cot screamers, I think they are very sensitive/emotional babies. I can't think of any other explanations.
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u/bijulee Apr 03 '26
My 11 month old always wakes up around 5am crying but not like screaming crying. Since its hard for them to fall asleep on their own at that time, we let her just fall asleep on our arms. It might take anywhere from a few mins to 15-20 mins or so for her to fall asleep but we do manage to get her to sleep until 6am which is our dwt. She is held the whole time.
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u/TieInternational3586 Apr 03 '26
I would be careful with that, i think you are creating a bad habit with letting her fall asleep in your arms. With 11 month she should be able to learn to fall back asleep on her own. I mean only if it bothers you, if you‘re completely fine with that, you might not mind creating that habit.
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u/bijulee Apr 03 '26
But isnt it hard for them to fall asleep on their own once its past 5am? Ive seen her try but then wake back up frustrated. If we just let her be, wouldn't her wake time now be an hour longer than usual and make her overtired?
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u/TieInternational3586 Apr 03 '26
It depends, at the beginning that could be the case until you get your routine working. Is she sleep trained? If so, what method did you use? Does she fall asleep without assistence at bedtime?
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u/bijulee Apr 03 '26
Yea sleep trained using pupd. She falls asleep on her own at bedtime. Recently she has been sttn except for the emw after which we hold her to sleep to reach her dwt.
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u/TieInternational3586 Apr 03 '26
Ok I see, i think you should keep an eye on that and decide if it’s worth it to retrain (in the longterm) or to let her sleep in your arm (which sure is easier for now).
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u/bijulee Apr 04 '26
What would be the best thing to do? Just let her cry until her dwt?
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u/TieInternational3586 Apr 04 '26
I mean, it’s hard to tell, since i don’t know your baby. First i would try to get her to sleep without picking her up and holding her, so you don’t get in the habit of new sleep associations. If she’s not calming down without being hold to sleep, i would let her cry, since we sleeptrained with CIO.
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u/cameraindica Apr 03 '26
I’ve got the same problem, but mine is now 14 months old. How do you break the habit? Just CIO?
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u/TieInternational3586 Apr 03 '26
Yes, CIO is most effectiv, but you need a good schedule (wake windows, naps, awake time) and need to be consistent and consequent for it to work. And since they are over a year old and have implemented that habit, it will take some time to break it.
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u/BedCapable1135 Apr 03 '26
Sorry, I can't help but solidarity. 13mo here and the same situation. He wakes up around 9.5hrs after going down but is fussing and crying when he wakes. I've also gotten into the feed dependency. As soon as he'd been nursed, he knocks out in my arms but wakes on transfer. It's a paaaaain. I tried talking to him over the camera and that helps with getting him to snooze on and off for about half an hour.
I've also tried CIO and ferber with no luck. His day schedule is as "on point" as I can get it so I have no idea what's waking him up. It's always 9ish hours after falling asleep. No matter when bedtime is. 😭
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u/Lill_Storm Apr 03 '26
We went through this when our previously 7-7 sleeper was 18 months old and weirdly talking to him on the camera worked better than going in to try (and fail) to settle him.
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u/rebrobxoxo Apr 03 '26
I’m so sorry, we are in the same exact position at 14 months. It is freakin miserable. We have not found anything that works. 😴
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u/TieInternational3586 Apr 03 '26
At 12 months he doesn‘t need a bottle before your desired wake up time, in fact we did cold turkey with night feeding at 6 months. So LO is given a bottle at 7 pm before his bedtime routine and then at 7 am in the morning. I think you have two options, since he‘s not a calm waker: Accepting that he wants his bottle at 5 am, or being consequent and weaning it of. We did CIO without check ins, because he would just cry harder when he saw me. That way, it took two weeks (more like one with crying, second week was just fussing) until LO learned to wait calmly till it’s wake up time. Every baby is different though, i can‘t promise that’s gonna turn him in a calm waker. But you only did try CIO once for an hour, right?
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u/GorillaDawn Apr 03 '26
This is really helpful thanks. I know he doesn't need the milk so I think the answer is essentially CIO consistently over a week or two. The problem is, he keeps getting sick from nursery bugs and then I feel bad doing CIO so I cave and go and give him the bottle. He pretty much gets sick every two weeks or so at the moment!
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u/TieInternational3586 Apr 03 '26
Ahh ok, i see, thats unfortunate, daycare bugs to make sleep training a lot harder. But yeah, you need to figure out a time when he‘s not sick to consistently and consequently sleep train 1-2 weeks in a row. Might take a bit longer because he‘s older than mine and he already created that habit. But it should work if you don‘t give in and stick to the method, since they are quiet smart at that age. I think what happedend is that he learned from the few times of CIO that he just needs to cry a bit harder and longer. One hour is quiet normal for the beginning of CIO, mine sometimes did two in the first week. But i mean if he is really sick you do want to provide a bit of extra comfort and hydration. Mine is not daycare so we don’t have to deal with bugs that much, but if he‘s teething or has a little cold i do give him tylenol to make sure he‘s not in pain and continue as always, even if he does fuss a bit more, just so it doesn’t throw us off. Maybe you could take him a few days out of daycare and try then? Just so he doesn’t catch anything again. But i do understand if it‘s not possible because of work.
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u/GorillaDawn Apr 04 '26
One more question! If I leave baby to cry from his wakeup time of 5.15am, and he is still crying at a good enough wake up time of 6.30, should I just get him up? 6.30 would be totally acceptable as a wake up time!
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u/TieInternational3586 Apr 04 '26
If that‘s your desired waking time, yes. But take him out of the room and start his morning routine before he‘s getting his bottle, so he knows it‘s get up time.
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u/Usual_Fig_4842 Apr 03 '26
I agree with this approach - we have a baby who cried for bottle multiple times a night and we just had to wean him off. We used the taking Cara babies method at 6 months and while it took the full 14 days, it does work! You just have to stick with the routine and break bad habits (no milk in bed, crying won’t get you out of bed). If you want to send me a DM I’m happy to send you the info on it I followed :)
Good luck momma!
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u/GorillaDawn Apr 03 '26
Oh and just to clarify... I did CIO for an hour a few times, maybe five times, but probably not on consecutive days, and it never worked. But I think my inconsistency has played a huge part of this. Apparently consistency is key. Just need him to stop getting sick!
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u/mansi1091 Apr 03 '26
This happened to me as well (made a post about it). Fortunately it resolved on its own for me. He went through a cognitive spurt and was sounding words like he was saying a sentence and pushed his 7th tooth as well.
So for about 4-5 nights I just went in gave him a small feed and did what it took to get him to sleep. Sometimes it would take over an hour. I also sized up his diaper, cause I noticed some moisture when he woke up in the morning and wondered if he was cold due to that.
I also reassessed and made sure he was going down independently at the start of the night. I realized his last big bottle was slowly straying close to his butt in crib time, I fixed that and then also just made sure he was truly awake going into the crib. He went back to his old routine seamlessly.
In my experience, if sleep trained for a while and he wakes up like this, something is usually amiss. I too gave him an hour but he was just rolling around whining crying in his crib.
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u/MimiCait Apr 04 '26
We didn’t experience bottle dependency but my daughter used to wake up screaming. We did a version of sleep training at night where we would put her down tired but not asleep. If she was truly upset after certain time increments, we would go back in, rock her until she was calm again, then put back down. These increments moved up as we went on. It started out as 10 min, 15 min, 20min. Then we upped it by 5 minutes after a few days, then another 5 minutes after that. This really helped her figure out how to self soothe. It’s sort of a gentle CIO method.
Around a 12-18 months nap schedules can be a bit hectic as they’re transitioning to one. Some kids easily catch on, others don’t and require two naps until they’re closer to 18 months. I’ve adjusted her daytime nap a couple times to find the sweet spot that is always changing to better accommodate later mornings. Although I do realize that’s something that may be out of your control with daycare.
One other thing that helped us… adding some stuffies to the crib. It can help soothe them. My daughter now happily plays with them in her crib when she wakes up and it has been such a game changer.
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u/brontecm Apr 04 '26
My baby stopped early morning wake ups when I weaned from breastfeeding! I couldn’t believe it. I was still breastfeeding him at 14 months because he would wake up early and I would bring him into bed to breastfeed to get an extra 10 mins of laying in bed, little did I know that to stop the early morning wake ups I had to wean.
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u/Rukaduka5446 Apr 03 '26
Our son was the same, usually up between 4:45 and 5:15 for months. We would try a later bedtime (among other things) and it didn’t help. We tried it again a couple months later and it worked! I think it took a few consecutive days though. His bedtime was 6:45/7, now it’s consistently 7:30/7:45 and usually sleeps until 6 or 6:30! Hope you find something that works, those early mornings are rough!