r/polyamorous 4d ago

anarchy Does the mono-poly relationship work long term

Partner 53M is in 1 relationship for nearly 5yrs. During that period he’s had 3 other shorter term partners, only 1 of which is current. All of his partners are Fs35-45. I have zero interest in dating as I’m older & post menopause (58). Aside from counseling & good communication, is there anything proactive I’m overlooking? I understand this relationship dynamic is less common.

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u/idlers_dream7 4d ago

Are you the monogamous one in this equation? If you have zero interest in dating...why are you considering dating this guy?

It can work long term when everyone communicates (and respects) their expectations, behaves ethically, and is reasonably tolerant of human-related foibles.

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u/Sdavistvs 2d ago

yes I’m monogamous & I‘m his spouse. He’s always been very upfront about it.

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u/SeeCB3X 3d ago

Be wary of him trying to build a harem, I'd be worried anyway. Do his other partners date multiple people?

But yes, you don't have to date anyone else if you don't want to, and that set up works fine for plenty of people. If that's the relationship you both want, then go for it.

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u/Sdavistvs 2d ago

Partner #1 is married w/3 young kids so no she doesn’t date others. Partner #2 is going thru a divorce, works full time w/2 little. Not likely dating either. They have a testing agreement between all. Thank you will keep to the arrangement for now