r/polyamorous • u/Informal-Resort-2048 • 8d ago

question Looking for advice

So me and my partners are going on 3 and 2 years together and im looking for a female partner but I've had zero luck with dating apps. Am I looking in the wrong places or getting hopes up considering im highly antisocial and don't really leave home?

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u/Maleficent_Bar5012 8d ago

First, most of the apps are terrible in terms of meeting people. We tried several, even paid for them, and found them worthless. Best way to meet people in the lifestyle that we have found is going to lifestyle events (meetups, munches, parties) and meet people in person.

The 'apps' FetLife, Telegram, and what not can be used after the fact for communication, furthering those connections.

This is how we handle things and we have met great friends and partners this way.

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u/Informal-Resort-2048 7d ago

Issue is im no good at going out I break into panic attacks so it's a double edged sword

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u/Maleficent_Bar5012 7d ago

Go slow. It isnt a race, and many people in the lifestyle, including myself, are introverted. You can connect with local groups, chat with the group and people first, start making friendly connections and at some point, meet people at a small gathering before a party. Thats what munches and meet n greets are for. You dont have to be the life of the party and you can also always leave if something is simply too much.

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u/Informal-Resort-2048 7d ago

Not sure how to even find anything like that where I live and unsure where I'd stand being 26

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u/Maleficent_Bar5012 7d ago

Look for FB groups nearby, you can also find lifestyle events on FetLife

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u/Informal-Resort-2048 7d ago

I appreciate the advice I'm still learning

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u/UnderwhelmedOpossum 4d ago

A lot of munches have ND sections with coloring books and crayons.

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u/Euphoric_Grass_427 6d ago

Being highly antisocial is probably incompatible with making friends or dating.

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u/Informal-Resort-2048 6d ago

I'm aware and in therapy granted I do fine behind a screen in person is a different story till I'm comfortable