r/polyamorous • u/tiredoptician • 9d ago

newbie Thoughts

Sorry in advance, if this doesn't make a lot of sense. My mind is all over the place, english not my first language and I'm currently at work. So this piece was written over the course of 5h.

There is no one I want to talk about this. At this point in time anyway.

Me and my partner recently discussed, what it would be like to have a third person in our relationship. We've been togehter for almost 3 years now and a few months in I discoverd that I am asexual.

He's ok with it, but has stated his frustration.

Wich, I do not understand but have sympathy for.

The ting is, it was me who brought up polyamory.

Wich I do noch regret, as a naturally open person who never understood the concept of only loving one person, I would really like to try. But it feels like, that he considers it mostly, to get the phisical intimacy he won't get from me.

My feelings are really mixed.

I love him, but it sometimes feels, that I have too much love for one person.

The chances of finding a person, to be in a throuple are really low, I think. Attraction, gender, there a so many factors.

I want to date again, bitte not loose him.

For a while now, I sometimes crave a Girl friend, but I can not Imagine a live without my bf.

I'm afraid, that this is, rather the interest in polyamory, a tendency for cheating.

And what I'm afraid the most, is that he will realise, that I'm not enough.

I'm not a nice person, selfcentered, unwilling to compromise, difficult to live with, my mental health is shit. I know all that and he does too. How can someone love me?

0 Upvotes

33% Upvoted

2 comments sorted by

8

u/darwinsbae monogamy was never an option 9d ago

Go to the pinned post on this sub and read literally anything. 

Don't demean yourself and expect things to work out. If you hate yourself that much, nobody else will like you either. 

Find out how to love what you are, and recognize what you bring to your own life, before expecting anyone, especially polyamorous, to appreciate you.

Relationships are about building on a foundation, not figuring out how to make a house built on sand