Help

[u/Ok_Internet_4470]

I don’t know what to do. I’m pregnant with my second baby. My first was a girl and I absolutely ADORE her and saw myself ONLY being a girl mom. I didn’t have a sister growing up and that’s all I want for my daughter. That being said, pregnancy has been absolutely awful for me both times so this is likely going to be our last and I’ll never be able to have the second daughter I’ve dreamed of for me and the sister I wanted for my daughter. I’m 15 weeks along and we should find out gender in the next coming week or two and I’m convinced it’s a boy. I was also convinced my daughter was a boy but I feel like I’ve been in denial this whole pregnancy and I’ve finally accepted that this baby is more than likely going to be a boy and I’m at a loss. I have no one to talk to about this because no one understands and I feel awful for even feeling this way. I know a healthy baby is obviously what everyone wants and of course that’s what I want. I know I’ll love my child, but I’m so scared I won’t like him.. my daughter can’t stand little boys. Any little girl, no matter the age, she is obsessed with and it could be her first time meeting them and she would immediately be best friends with them, but she hates playing with little boys and just being around them. Even family. I’m so heartbroken for her and myself. I’m not sure why but I can’t handle baby boys crying, something in my brain flips and I’m just in flight or fight and I can’t do anything about it. My husband says it will be different when it’s my own kid and I want to believe him but what if it’s not. I’m a SAHM so I will be with the baby at all times literally. I breastfed my daughter for about 18 months and planned on doing that with my future children which means my husband won’t even be able to really help me with the baby after he gets home. There’s other things that specifically baby boys do that just make me want to lose my mind and I know myself and I know I won’t be able to handle it. There’s no point in calling me names for feeling like this. My friends have already told me how bad they feel for my baby for me to feel this way about the whole thing. I’ve cried and cried and I just need SOMEONE to help me so I CAN do this. I don’t need pity. I just want someone who knows how I feel or can relate at all to tell me it’s going to be ok. No one I’ve ever talked to understands and I’m starting to think I’m the only one who feels this way which makes me feel even worse.

[u/vitamins86]

So first of all, you still don't know that the baby is a boy. If it is a boy, you really need to find a therapist to help you work through this because these feelings you have toward boys aren't normal and seem to have rubbed off on your daughter. This could be so detrimental to your whole family if you don't get help. If it is a girl, don't have another baby. You knew that having a baby could easily result in having a boy so it's very irresponsible to bring a child into your family when you have these issues.