r/breakingmom • u/bookish0378 • 10h ago
in crisis šØ Growing concern over daycare
Our son started in March at a long standing daycare with a good reputation in our area. My son is now 8 months old. He started in the ābaby 1ā room and will be moving to ābaby 2ā next week.
He had two teachers which made the ratio 1:4 which is state law. Found out three weeks ago one teacher was moving out of state, they quickly hired a new teacher.
We noticed the week before Memorial Day that the veteran teacher seemed to be the only person at pick up and drop off times. On Friday before Memorial Day weekend my husband went to pick up our son and the veteran teacher was alone in the room with the babies and crying. She informed him that she had just been told by management that they were moving her to a toddler room (she had been in that baby room for two years) and keeping the new hire in the baby room. This was happening because they were apparently not getting along?
After Memorial Day, last week, things have fallen apart fast. And my husband and I are growing concerned.
Day after Memorial Day there was a new teacher in the room. New hire nowhere to be seen. So if youāre following this is a third NEW face to us and my son since March and in the last two weeks. Zero communication from management on what is happening and who this third teacher is and where the new hire is.
Our son has always consumed 4, 4 oz bottles of breast milk plus a purƩe. Suddenly he is only eating three, 3 oz bottles. They were sending an unconsumed bottle home each day last week. They have a policy where any milk not consumed in a feeding needs to be dumped. So 3 oz has been going down the drain.
On Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday all babies were screaming in the room at pick up. Including our son. I could tell he was way over stimulated when we got him in the car those days which is not his normal self. Tears streaming down his face and face bright red. Before last week my husband and I always noted how quiet and happy the babies were at the end of the day. The difference is jarring.
On Friday my husband picked up our son and asked this teacher if she was all alone with 8 babiesā¦. She looked panicked and answered no. We think this is a lie. My husband noted there was poop stains on the outside of our sonās clothing when we got him home, we took pictures. We have no idea how long our son sat in soiled clothes.
Ok so fuck Iām typing all this out and think we need to call the daycare. Am I overreacting? Last night I couldnāt sleep from intrusive thoughts of his safety being jeopardized and being anxious about sending him today.
My husband wants to give it another day or two to see if anything changes but I donāt know.
I know our son is moving to another room next week but Iām concerned this is an internal problem and maybe not a room issue.
ā¢
u/Brief-State-5680 8h ago
Nope nope nope nope nope.
You are not overreacting. Overreacting would be immediately reporting the whole thing to CPS without communicating with the daycare first. Waiting a few days as your husband suggested seems like an underreaction to me.
Your baby comes home inconsolable in soiled clothes and the teacher is alone with 8 babies and the other teacher was crying the other day? Nope. That is not normal. Your baby is eating less? Not a good sign.
No one could take care of eight babies on their own and have everyone fed and diapered. Let alone kept safely in cribs and prevented from falling, choking etc. It sounds like the teachers are competent but don't have adequate support.
Honestly I do not think it would be an overreaction to keep your baby out until you receive the full names of BOTH teachers in the classroom and have a chance to talk with them both yourself to get a feel for how well they're being supported. And if you get concrete evidence that they're violating their ratios, you can go to the licensing board and you probably should.
You're not being an asshole, it's just not safe what they're doing. You are allowed to be a mama bear and I'm sorry but your husband is not correct about waiting. You're not calling the licensing board (yet), you're just making sure you're leaving your own baby in a safe situation. A baby that little can't advocate for themselves so you have all the license to be Mama bear in this scenarioĀ