r/breakingmom 10h ago

in crisis 🚨 Growing concern over daycare

Our son started in March at a long standing daycare with a good reputation in our area. My son is now 8 months old. He started in the “baby 1” room and will be moving to “baby 2” next week.

He had two teachers which made the ratio 1:4 which is state law. Found out three weeks ago one teacher was moving out of state, they quickly hired a new teacher.

We noticed the week before Memorial Day that the veteran teacher seemed to be the only person at pick up and drop off times. On Friday before Memorial Day weekend my husband went to pick up our son and the veteran teacher was alone in the room with the babies and crying. She informed him that she had just been told by management that they were moving her to a toddler room (she had been in that baby room for two years) and keeping the new hire in the baby room. This was happening because they were apparently not getting along?

After Memorial Day, last week, things have fallen apart fast. And my husband and I are growing concerned.

Day after Memorial Day there was a new teacher in the room. New hire nowhere to be seen. So if you’re following this is a third NEW face to us and my son since March and in the last two weeks. Zero communication from management on what is happening and who this third teacher is and where the new hire is.

Our son has always consumed 4, 4 oz bottles of breast milk plus a purĂŠe. Suddenly he is only eating three, 3 oz bottles. They were sending an unconsumed bottle home each day last week. They have a policy where any milk not consumed in a feeding needs to be dumped. So 3 oz has been going down the drain.

On Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday all babies were screaming in the room at pick up. Including our son. I could tell he was way over stimulated when we got him in the car those days which is not his normal self. Tears streaming down his face and face bright red. Before last week my husband and I always noted how quiet and happy the babies were at the end of the day. The difference is jarring.

On Friday my husband picked up our son and asked this teacher if she was all alone with 8 babies…. She looked panicked and answered no. We think this is a lie. My husband noted there was poop stains on the outside of our son’s clothing when we got him home, we took pictures. We have no idea how long our son sat in soiled clothes.

Ok so fuck I’m typing all this out and think we need to call the daycare. Am I overreacting? Last night I couldn’t sleep from intrusive thoughts of his safety being jeopardized and being anxious about sending him today.

My husband wants to give it another day or two to see if anything changes but I don’t know.

I know our son is moving to another room next week but I’m concerned this is an internal problem and maybe not a room issue.

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u/ArmadilloNo2163 9h ago

How would you think you are overreacting here?

I worked daycare, really high staff turnover causes a lot of safety mishaps.

I would not bring him back tomorrow.

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u/bookish0378 9h ago

I have PPA/D and have a tendency to be an anxious person…. My husband is making it seem like this is not too serious and it’ll get better.

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u/ArmadilloNo2163 8h ago

This is serious and will not get better.

They’re neglecting your baby and sending in people you’ve never met with no notice.

Absolutely not overreacting! Does your husband regularly dismiss your concerns as PPA?

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u/bookish0378 8h ago edited 8h ago

We are meeting with the director in a couple hours.

Yes, there hasn’t been a single communication on who is in the room and the changes happening.

Not at all, he’s been supportive through my recovery journey. I think for him he’s worried but keeps trying to find rational explanations. I more so dismiss myself out of concern I sound crazy. BUT I don’t want to rationalize neglect of my baby.

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u/ArmadilloNo2163 7h ago

You’re not crazy! They are leaving her to scream and in poopy clothing. That’s neglect.