Hormones are wacky

[u/Responsible-Neat6917]

What are your thoughts on having more than 2?? That elusive third or even fourth? My thoughts are so jumbled what better to do than spew them on the internet.. Background- we are a little younger, both 28 and have survived 2U2. I come from family of 4 but am no contact with anyone and my husband from a family of 3 who are distant but cordial (read- 0 village help). So we grew up with bigger family dynamics. Our youngest is 15 mo and I’m currently weaning which is why my hormones are so whacked up trying to decide what to do. My husband and I currently live in a very low cost of living area for the next two years before his job contract is over. My toddlers eat whatever they want whenever they want and have whatever they need without any financial strain.. and we can afford for me to stay at home with them which I love every day. I’m set to graduate with my bachelor’s next year but I wouldn’t start working again (I had a different career until 25) until we moved after my husband’s job is done. My kids will be kindergarten age by then. So the pros list are outweighing the cons as of right now but my big con is what if I have so much regret for adding another child in.. yes infants and toddlers are expensive and exhausting but so are all children as they get older. Sylvia Plath’s fig tree, I want it all, to be a SAHM in their formative years, AND have a career and own identity again one day. Please just send a light my way and share your own thoughts and experiences.

[u/xMonochrome_Rainbow]

I'm 27 and had my 4th 2 months ago, my others are 7,6 and nearly 5 (I had 3 under 3). Thought I was done for ages after my third which is why the age gap is big this time. Would have saved o much money if I didn't throw all my baby things away after my third 😅

So far it's been great, having just 1 baby this time feels extremely easy tbh cause I've always had 2 others very close in age and this time I don't 😂 I've also been a SAHM since my eldest was born.

[u/Responsible-Neat6917 → u/xMonochrome_Rainbow]

If you don’t mind me asking, how did you decide to make the jump from 2 to 3? With 2 I have 2 hands a 2 seater stroller, no hassle with climbing in the car for a 3rd carseat. If we wanted to put them in private school we could do it.. but 3 puts a little more strain on finances and changes the dynamics by a lot from what i have heard

[u/xMonochrome_Rainbow → u/Responsible-Neat6917]

Idk I just always wanted 3 close together (until I started wanting a fourth) so never considered not doing it and it didn't make a lot of difference to have 3. My third was an extremely easy baby and still is now at 4 while the first 2 were/are harder so that also helped.

I used a double pushchair for the younger 2 and then a buggy board with a seat for the eldest one until he stopped wanting to use it. Then later I had a single pushchair with a buggy board for the middle one.

[u/Plane_Employ_5941]

Any reason you can’t table it for a few more years? You’re so young still and have time. Hormones make it impossible to think logically sometimes 😂 I know from experience!

Why are you in no contact with your family? Do you think that dynamic was a result of a larger family?

[u/Responsible-Neat6917 → u/Plane_Employ_5941]

It’s a huge part of our conversations! Unfortunately I’m struggling with the reality of what job opportunities and work/home balance would be if I’m now re-entering the job force in a new career field at 33. Although I’ve even toyed with the idea of homeschooling the first few years as well.. And if we needed to formula feed or to hire some help, we are only living in a low cost area for a little while longer. My family dynamics are my mom kept picking men who abused me and when I was 17 kicked me out. My siblings still live with them and they haven’t contacted me all these years later.