r/PolyFidelity • u/Witty-Philosopher-77 • 12d ago

question How to escalate without marriage

Hello 👋

I am in a closed poly relationship with M46, married. We have openly been dating for close to 2 years and it’s been wonderful. (And I am also in a relationship with B34–for 3 years)We are not dating anyone else.

My question for you—how can you feel like you are progressing and escalating when one of your partners is legally married?
How do you feel like it’s “real” in social circles?
Can you have 2 nesting partners?
(I know I shouldn’t care about what other people think but I still do.)

Please be kind. ❀

13 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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16

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

7

u/Witty-Philosopher-77 12d ago

We do this! We introduce each other as partners.

13

u/Tanedra 12d ago

I ended up having a 'wedding' with my wife. Both of us have legal spouses, but we wanted to have a public commitment - plus we both like dressing up and we both got to wear fairytale wedding dresses. We have rings, so I wear a wedding ring for each spouse. Makes it feel a lot more real, even though we live apart.

7

u/Witty-Philosopher-77 12d ago

I think that’s what we are leaning towards. A public commitment.

Thank you for sharing.

10

u/hot-fudge-sundae116 12d ago

My fiancĂ© and I got “engaged” a month ago when I asked him to join my forever family. I had a ring and proposed. He said yes. On Monday he gave me a ring on our one year anniversary. We are planning a commitment ceremony and my husband will officiate. (He’s ordained with church of Flying Spaghetti Monster and will wear a colander. lol but it just won’t be legally binding.) that said we all intend to live together along with our kids. (24 (moving out soonish as he’s proposing to his long time girlfriend in a week) 13, 7 and 5). We will have our close friends and family there. We will make steps to enmesh our lives more, financially and emotionally.

I am an elected official. So boy do I know how scary it can be to publicly be out. People in my community have been accepting and kind. But I haven’t told a lot of my family who is very conservative Christian even though I’ve been poly over a decade. My fiancĂ© makes me want to tell the world though. I’m so happy.