I had low milk supply with both my children and had to supplement and eventually EFF. Today my husband sent me this article where they unpack recent research on low milk supply. There are many possible causes but the key finding is that the percentage of women with low milk supply is likely 10% to 20%, and not 5% as it is often said. I feel like this is important information. I often felt so frustrated with this saying that all women are able to produce enough milk and hearing how much women can extract in a pumping session when I could only do a few oz. It makes you feel like you’re not trying enough when the reality is that many of us can’t produce the same as others and it is more normal than we think, but we’re so invisible.

Now, the most voted comments on the instagram post completely disregard what the article says and claim that the problem is societal, and short maternity leave. I’m all for long maternity leave and more support, but wow, what a lack of sympathy for those who went through breastfeeding problems, frustration, and sadness because of low milk supply.

I wanted to share this with this wonderful community in the hope that someone out there find this information useful.

ps: the article is pay-walled but I can share what it says if there’s an interest.

Edit: I copy-pasted the article in a comment https://www.reddit.com/r/FormulaFeeders/comments/1td9qi4/cant_believe_comments_on_this_revealing_article/om07uv2/

I’ve been breastfeeding for a month and it has been a STRUGGLE. She’s had bad latch, she bites (how can gums be so powerful??), the cluster feeding was horrific etc etc but every time I’ve tried to quit there’s always been someone to tell me to “keep going!” “It gets easier” “your baby needs the nutrients!”. I’ll be honest, I even got sucked in myself and told other moms to keep going and I’m so sorry to all of them.

So now I’m in hospital for mastitis and sepsis because I kept going waiting for it to get better. And so many nurses and drs have STILL told me to carry on. The surgeon who will be draining the abscess in my milk duct told me she can refer me to a lactation specialist who can get me back on track. I made it very clear to her that I’m 1000% unregrettably DONE and I’m not risking sepsis again. Her assistant doubled down and told me “you shouldn’t let this experience ruin it for you. It’s very unlikely to happen again.” So I showed her my non infected boob and how it has little cuts on it.

Guess what, she’s at home with her dad and her nanna getting FF and is THRIVING and calm for the first time since she was born.

I hate it so so much I just needed to vent. Some staff have quietly told me not to listen to them and do what’s best for me and I love them so much for that

Background: I am currently an EBF mom who previously EFF my older child. I will one day build giant gold statues of my boobs and a canister of formula — they both fucking rock & should be immortalized for all eternity for all they have done for my children.

I am on the verge of angry tears because I cannot visit any pumping/breastfeeding space that doesn’t make me wanna rip my fucking hair out with the sanctimonious whining, high-horse riding, victim-mentality perpetuating, science- denying, dramatic-ass bullshit.

This was inspired by a post on the exclusive pumping subreddit talking about how Bobbie ads are terrible and make it seem like pumping & breastfeeding are just so stupid and mean nothing & formula is just so much better. I almost had a stroke reading the comments, unfollowed the sub, and blocked a ton of people because I simply cannot pretend this shit isn’t insane anymore. It has come up repeatedly during my time in these spaces and if makes me fucking furious.

”Formula companies are so predatory! They shouldn’t be allowed to advertise!”

Fuck off. Expeditiously. EVERYTHING having to do with feeding a baby is predatory, including the almighty breastfeeding ads peddling snacks that help your supply but don’t actually, $40 nipple shields that show the milk coming out, basic items that are marked up to high heaven bc someone slapped the word “breastmilk” on them (an insulated lunchbox for $5 vs a breastmilk cooling bag for $20), the pads/bags that are marked up the same way, the fancy flanges that promise you’ll get more milk if you use them — the list is never ever ever ending.

ALL of that is predatory!!!! It is preying on women’s fear/desire to give their baby “the best” through any means necessary. If you have no fucking problem with influencers peddling $300 breast pumps with cups full of half and half claiming they got 300000 more ounces with this pump than with the other $300 pump they were shilling last month, you should have no problem with Cardi B talking about Bobbie.

Also — formula companies advertising formula isn’t fucking preying on any one. Sorry not sorry. 🤷🏼‍♀️ As long as they are not claiming to be more nutritionally sound than breastmilk — which they don’t — they’re aren’t preying on anyone.

What people mean when they whine about that shit is: “This company is presenting formula as a viable option for infant nutrition! They aren’t circlejerking breastmilk and couching formula’s existence in disclaimers about how you should try EVERYTHING else first, including unregulated donor milk from Facebook marketplace, before even thinking about poisoning your baby with this devil substance!!” It’s fucking INSANE to say that showing women/men who chose formula for whatever reason is hurting anyone. It’s insane to say that presenting families with a NUTRITIONALLY COMPLETE, SOUND, HEAVILY REGULATED & MONITORED option to feed their babies is somehow bad, or exploiting people’s insecurities. It isn’t.

Especially when these pump & lactation supplement ads DO exploit people’s insecurities & encourage spending literally HUNDREDS of dollars for something that MAY work!! People recommend a million products to get your supply up, and that’s just fine, even though for the majority women, these magic flanges and pills and cookies and massagers won’t make an ass bit of difference — it’s okay to encourage women to spend alllllll their money on them because it’s in pursuit of the almighty boob milk. Fuck the fact that it likely won’t work at all, just try it, okay!? It’s money well spent.

But encouraging money spent on a substance that will 100% guarantee your baby’s nutritional needs are met while you attempt to up your supply or simply let it go because you cannot torture yourself anymore? That’s a fucking war crime. How evil of these dirty rotten formula bastards!! I won’t give them any more of my money!!!

Fuck off.

”But these ads downplay how valuable breastmilk is and the benefits of it and what a sacrifice it is to breastfeed!”

They don’t, though. They’re just not overstating the nutritional benefits like you want them to.

Nutritionally, formula and breastmilk are equally viable options.

Yes, breastmilk has passive immunity that can be passed. Yes, that counts for something.

But no, it isn’t necessary. And all formula claims to do is provide the necessary nutrients your baby needs. And it does.

It feels like downplaying to you because breastfeeding IS a sacrifice, and it’s hard to feel like you’re sacrificing something for only minimal gain.

But ya are. And that’s okay. It can still be worth it to you, and you can still choose to do it! But everyone around you is not required to pretend you are the patron saint of motherhood, savior of your baby’s health.

You aren’t.

”Formula ads delegitimize how hard it is to breastfeed & we deserve to be celebrated for our hard work!!”

That’s really what it all comes down to. Wanting pats and congratulations and points and props and thumbs ups for being such a super excellent martyr mom.

Formula being presented as a legitimate choice inhibits you from receiving all those things because it makes breastfeeding what it actually is — a choice. Not a duty or a moral obligation or a supreme gesture of selflessness.

Just a choice.

I hope your partner and your friends and your family celebrate the choices you make and the work you put it to seeing them through because breastfeeding is a lot of work!! But the whole world is not obligated to stop and prostrate themselves at your feet for your choices. You don’t deserve to feel like a better mom than people who use formula. You just don’t. Because you aren’t. Sorry bout ya.

An honorable mention of sheer stupidity to the comment that said “I know there is a stigma around using formula, but the pendulum has swung too far.”

L o fucking l.

The pendulum hasn’t moved, and the whiny moaning about evil formula ads helps it stay right where it was.

Anyway. Rant over.

(As an aside : my formula fed 5th grader has an IQ of 142, reads at a 9th grade level, and has had the flu once her entire life. Your kids are going to be fine, I promise.)

Disgusting post, that’s all! Happy Thanksgiving and let’s not mom shame other moms for deciding how to feed their babies ❤️

I’m a first time mom and feeling a lot of emotions right now. I have this STUPID fear that my baby won’t see me as their favorite person or won’t be obsessed with me because I bottle feed rather than nurse him. It’s a selfish fear and I’m guessing it’s just post partum hormones. But I think I just need to hear other parents who bottle feed tell me their baby loves the heck out of them.

Edit: WOW! I was not expecting so many responses… THANK YOU!!!! I so appreciate everyone taking the time to respond and fill my cup! I’m feeling a lot better about my decision now! I’m having trouble keeping up to respond to everyone, but just know I am reading them. Thank you ❤️

My first baby is 11 weeks and EFF. Absolutely thriving and hitting all milestones, in fact, she’s ahead of a couple milestones. I’m very pleased with my decision to formula feed. But, I swear all I see online is moms talking about breastfeeding in such a passionate and condescending way. If anyone posts about formula feeding in a positive manner it seems that the breastfeeding community comes at them with a vengeance.

Why are they like this? From the outside looking in, it kind of seems like they are getting defensive to justify their misery? I’m genuinely starting to actually judge people who breastfeed at this point because of how insane these people act online 🤣

Anyway, I’m a better mom because I chose formula. I’m present, fully recovered, and well rested. I’ll never regret this decision. But again, just wondering why the breastfeeding community is so aggressive..?

If you are unable to breastfeed a doctor should be able to write a note so that you can get reimbursed from extended health for the formula!

I should mention I’m from Canada, I believe we have the highest costs of formula

I chose to EFF from day one for a LOT of reasons. I have felt zero guilt. My baby is thriving, my mental health has actually been excellent postpartum, my husband loves being able to feed him. For me, my baby, and my family, there are no downsides.

And yet, every time someone asks and I tell them we are EFF, they always say “Oh I’m so sorry”

For what???? I’m having a great time with it, my dude

And even when I talk to some other EFF parents, it’s like they need to add some disclaimer of “Oh I tried to EBF but couldn’t because xyz” or “We HAD to do formula because xyz” even when the conversation doesn’t require that context. It’s like they need to make sure people know it wasn’t their first choice because THAT would be unthinkable and immoral.

Plus, my algorithm knows I’m postpartum and keeps giving me content from EBF moms who shit all over EFF moms

I feel no guilt and it’s weird that some people act like that should be the default. I’m loving being a mom. My baby is fat and happy. If all I’m missing is the badge of martyrdom honor from how hard it is to breastfeed (which I don’t doubt!) then like. I’m good, man.

Love being told that I blew something way out of proportion by posting my thoughts & feelings on a DIFFERENT SUB by people who then BANNED me from the community for not shitting on formula commercials or playing into a victim mentality.

I am literally dead. Probably shouldn’t be surprised since the mods of that sub were heavy in the comments talking about how evil Bobbie was and no one could change their mind & formula companies shouldn’t be allowed to advertise. 🙄

To the EP mods skulking around here — I don’t hate you & I hope ya get some help!

Don’t get me wrong - I don’t mind at all if others breastfeed but I literally don’t understand how other moms enjoy/want to breastfeed? That shit is for the birds. I knew before I even got pregnant that I wasn’t gonna like it but wanted to try because why not. Everybody always talks about “omg it’s the most rainbow unicorn sunshine bond you’ll ever have!!”

Tried it whenever my son was born and thought to myself “?????….this is it? This is magical?” Ended up absolutely hating it (like I knew I would but everybody kept shoving it down my throat that it’s best for baby) and it gave me the biggest ick. It was repulsive.

Thank god for formula bc without it my mental health would be in the toilet. Glad to live in a day and age where we have options. My next kid is gonna be EFF from day one.

This isn’t even my post I just found it in the wild, I plan to combination feed off the bat for mental health reasons after I have my first in December. But to compare formula to insulin? on a post of a mom basically saying she’s exhausted of being shamed for choosing formula first? The entire comment just had me dumbfounded honestly 😭😭😭

Honestly these founders need to be thrown in jail for the negligence they showed toward the health of babies over the course of multiple years.

It is unbelievable that the FDA didn’t shut them down sooner.

So I need to vent because today the algorithm threw an ad at me from some girl calling herself Moomys Milk, claiming she is a NICU lactation consultant. The ad was already irritating because it was filled with selective “biology” and this weird condescending tone about how babies “are created to wake all night long” and that parents who expect normal sleep are basically fighting nature.

Fine. Annoying, but I commented and said her post was not factual and was actually harmful. She instantly blocked me.

And honestly, that should have been the end of it.

But no. I got curious. I went to her Instagram.

The level of superiority and misinformation is insane.

She has these pastel graphics like:

“Breastfeeding. Because there is no such thing as a recalled set of breasts.”

and

“Nothing you give your baby will ever compare to your milk.”

Like she is some walking biological oracle. I cannot explain how arrogant you have to be to turn a formula recall into a brag about your body. Formula is recalled because it is regulated for safety. Your breasts are not FDA tested. That is not a flex, that is a lack of critical thinking.

And what makes this worse is that she hides behind the NICU title like it makes her untouchable. No actual NICU nurse or lactation consultant I have ever met talks like this. They do not speak in absolutes. They do not weaponize breastfeeding. They do not claim babies are biologically designed to wake constantly until further notice. They do not shame formula feeding by pretending biology stops working the moment a bottle enters the picture.

Her posts are all the same formula: Use the word “biology.” Add a soft pink background. Make a dramatic statement like it is gospel truth. Shame literally any alternative feeding method.

The craziest part is that she takes normal infant behavior and twists it into a rigid biological rule, like babies must wake all night because “safety” and “hormones” and “attachment.” Except that is not what physiology shows. Infant neurodevelopment literally supports sleep consolidation. Circadian rhythm stabilizes. Gastric capacity increases. Hormonal rhythms regulate. Babies do, in fact, become capable of longer stretches. It is basic physiology.

But her entire brand is “my milk is superior, my way is biology, your formula is inferior.” It is one thing to promote breastfeeding. It is another to weaponize it and shame every mother who does not or cannot do it.

Seeing someone throw around a NICU credential while spreading scientifically empty, guilt inducing ideology is infuriating. Especially when they block anyone who points out the inaccuracies.

Honestly, the whole page feels like a breastfeeding supremacy club with pastel Canva templates. And the fact that it came as an ad makes it worse. Moms do not need more guilt. They need support. They need real science. They need options.

What they do not need is Moomys Milk acting like she is the FDA, the AAP, and Mother Nature rolled into one Instagram account.

If you’re feeling guilty about using ByHeart or formula in general because of the Botulism recall, don’t. That is on ByHeart, that is not on us as parents. Finding a formula that works for your baby is challenging. If anyone is making you feel silly for using ByHeart in the first place… screw them. We don’t have a crystal ball. I was using it because someone gave us a can and my baby did well on it. Whatever your reason was for using byheart, you were doing your best with the information you had at the time and that’s all anyone can do.

Do I feel guilty? No. Do I feel angry? A little bit. No infant formula has ever tested positive for botulism before and I don’t think that should have happened. Luckily, my baby is doing great and we had not used either of those batches. I have already switched cold turkey to a different formula though.

If you’re feeling guilty for not breastfeeding or not producing enough, don’t. People have been finding alternative ways to feed their babies since the dawn of time. “WhAt DiD PeoPLe do BeForE ForMuLa?” … Well, a lot of babies died Susan.

I EBF my first right into failure to thrive, and I’ve been working to overcome the guilt from that for years. But just like now, all I was trying to do was my best. I didn’t know. Forgive yourself for mistakes you made with good intentions. Believe me, as a parent you’ll make a lot of them.

I went back to Target to pick up a prescription and grab some stuff, and decided to check on the formula aisle after I told the staff a few days ago that their stuff was expired

I watched a Target employee stock RTF bottles on the shelf, and when I pulled one to check, it was expired 🤬

And then I got a bit petty and started to check more of them. Almost every RTF bottle on that shelf is expired with the same expiration dates. I told 3 employees and was there for over an hour, and none of them ever pulled these from the shelves. I took photos and videos of me lifted different bottles to show they're expired, but have no idea what to do from here

My school gives target gift cards to these girls so they can buy formula. This is not ok

I’m currently travelling in India to meet family and met a paediatrician for a travel vaccine.

While there they checked my baby’s weight. At 8mo he is 10.3kgs. He was born at 3.1kgs

The doctor asked me if he was bf or ff. I said formula. He went on about how it’s not good the baby weighs so much, he’s fat. That’s the problem with formula fed babies and so on .

I have been ff from day one and I have no guilt associated with it . I am happy that my baby is thriving. But this gave my in laws an opportunity to start asking why I was ff and not bf and they hound me now.

I was crying on the way back and so fed up Of this narrative. India especially is so toxic to formula feeders , doctors outright tell you one cannot ff and need to try harder .

My question is, is my baby too big? Even my family doctor back home in Canada told me to cut his feed a little . He is a happy boy, hitting his milestones.

Edit: baby on kendamil . Drinks 4 feeds of 120-150ml per feed . Was on similac until month 2 and we switched to Kendamil due to reflux . Weight stated trending up since then

Edit 2: thank you all so much. I feel so much better after reading your comments. Cuddling with my cutie and telling him how much I love his rolls 🥹

It’s a poster blatantly putting down FF - I’ve tagged it as NSFW just because I don’t want it to show up on people’s feed. I unfortunately had no choice but to be bombarded by this giant thing right next to the front entrance. This probably contributes to so many mums’ PPA/PPD. Thanks NHS.

I have seen so many reels/posts going around that say we shouldn't say "fed is best" because it's "bare minimum" and minimizes the work breastfeeding mothers do. I'm at a place where I'm secure in my decision to EFF my baby so those posts don't make me feel guilty anymore, but they're still infuriating because they're just so stupid and condescending. My daughter is the reason that I wake up every morning and I am 100%, unequivocally dedicated to her. I am obsessed with being her mom. So how DARE you say formula moms are doing the "bare minimum" for our babies?

I don't know why so many EBF moms insist on acting like they're god's gift to earth. They love to say "I'm not judging, it's just science," but the science has shown us time and time again that there's absolutely nothing wrong with formula. I'm lowkey convinced all the people who make breastfeeding their entire personality secretly hate it and say this shit so they can feel better about how miserable they are.

I'm in a mom group on Facebook that's just for my regional area and I saw a woman asking people on there if they have spare breast milk. I feel so bad that formula has been stigmatized to such a degree that women go online and ask strangers for their breast milk. For the record, I am combo feeding and pump 5 times a day. My son gets what he gets and the rest is supplemented with formula. It just boggles my mind that anyone would trust a complete stranger to provide them with safe breast milk to use over formula if their supply isn't enough to 100% cover baby's feeding needs.

7 weeks pp with first baby. Did formula straight from birth- never even attempted to BF.

So of course my algorithm knows that I just had a baby and is showing me a bunch of breast-feeding content and lactation consultants. I truly don’t judge anyone that wants to breast-feed, to each their own. BUT at the same time I don’t get why everyone doesn’t just do formula 😅

I’ve been one of those due date groups on Facebook and now everyone has pretty much had their baby and everyone is complaining about how difficult and stressful breast-feeding is and I’m just over here likeeeee newborn life really is not as bad as people make it out to be! Of course it’s difficult in many ways but I truly feel that doing formula takes so much stress away - compared to what I’m seeing these poor girls go through. I feel like so many of them just succumbed to the pressure to BF. I remember feeling so judged in the hospital by the doctors when I didn’t want to breast-feed.

ALSO what is up with so many people asking how you’re feeding the baby? Someone at my husband‘s work asked him if I’m breast-feeding. I find that so creepy. Again, just my algorithm on social media but I’ve seen so many videos of moms breast-feeding their toddlers and all the comments are really supportive. I just find that so disturbing and that poor kid is gonna look back on it when they’re older and probably be so embarrassed that their mom put that on the Internet. I’m sorry but at some point it’s creepy. And I worry that so many people don’t think it is 🫠

I'm just so tired of seeing this recommended when it's not necessary. Yes, squirt breast milk in your baby's eye for a broken blood vessel.

Papercut? Put breast milk on it, mama!

Ear infection? Put breast milk on it, mama!

Yeast diaper rash? Put breast milk on it, mama!

Congested? Put breast milk on it, mama!

Head injury? Put breast milk on it, mama!

Dislocated elbow? Put breast milk on it, mama!

Brain bleeding? Put breast milk on it, mama!

My son is almost 2, so I can't believe I'm still dealing with comments like this.

My in-laws had a party this weekend, and the topic of breastfeeding came up, since several new moms attended.

I commended this new mom for EBF; I told her that my son's feeding sessions were so long when he was a newborn, it was just too exhausting for me to be up every 2 hours for over 45 minutes.

My MIL cut in and said, "WIMP, I was up every 1-2 hours with [husband's name], I was so tired I was walking into poles during the day."

My MIL is normally a very nice woman, and we have a good relationship. I was totally caught off guard.

This hurt me so badly. I experienced such a tremendous amount of guilt over stopping breastfeeding, and it took me months to move past it. I still experience twinges of it when I see a mom happily breastfeeding an older infant, as I never made it to that stage.

I still get this nagging feeling that I am weak, that I didn't try hard enough or sacrifice myself enough for my baby. I know this is irrational, as he is almost 2 and thriving.

Like, yes, you are amazing for EBF. I was literally saying how in awe I am of women who go through that. But you don't have to call me a wimp.

,

Soo they knew on November 7th something was up. And we didnt know anything until the 9th....

I had heard of baby-friendly hospitals but since the one I delivered at didn't explicitly advertise itself a one, I assumed it wasn't. Unfortunately, it was.

I have all the markers for insufficient glandular tissue and did not experience any changes to breasts during pregnancy. I attempted to express colostrum while pregnant and had no luck. While I wanted to attempt breastfeeding, I knew there was a chance it wouldn't work out. I communicated this to hospital staff asked but all they wrote on the board was breastfeeding.

My son was born, and despite all the help, he was screaming at the breast. No amount of pumping or hand expression yielded anything either. I asked for something else to feed my son but they all kept saying things like the first 48 hours are a freebie, whatever my body is producing is enough, his stomach is the size of a marble, he technically doesn't even need to eat right now.

Finally, after I insisted he needed to eat every time a nurse came in, and at the suggestion of a pediatrician, I was able to get some formula. This is after my son spent the whole night and morning hungry. So "baby-friendly" 🙄. Much to the dismay of some nurses, we continued supplementing with formula, but I continued trying to breastfeed. This led to multiple lactation visits and then the dreaded triple feeding. All for my supply to barely make it to 6-7 oz total per day and it came at the cost of my time, so much money on pumping supplies, and my mental health.

As soon as I stopped triple feeding my supply quickly dried up and we are now EFF. I regained quality time with my son, I'm no longer trying to rush him through nursing so I can go pump, I'm sleeping more, and overall I just feel so much better. He is continuing to gain weight and doing great.

I'm still mad that he had to go hungry for no reason, but I'm glad I didn't let it go on for 2 days like they wanted. I will never understand how starving newborns is "baby-friendly".

Anyway, formula is great and I'm happy I have something nutritious to feed my child. Formula is the reason my baby will get to eat as much as he needs and the reason he will have a happy and healthy mom.