Bottle Aversion Is Slowly Breaking Me

[u/Wrong_Inevitable_401]

I never thought feeding my baby would become something that makes me cry every day. After a difficult pregnancy, birth, reflux/CMPA worries and so many challenges, I always stayed positive… but bottle aversion is breaking me in ways I didn’t expect.

The thought that this can last for months makes me so anxious and sad. I feel like I’m losing myself and even losing the calm connection I had with my baby. I’m trying my absolute best, reading everything, learning every method, watching every wake window and feeding cue… but some days I feel completely defeated.

Please tell me there is light at the end of this tunnel. 🤍

[u/KikiTheArtTeacher]

It’s the worst thing I have ever been through, as a Mom or otherwise. It’s so incredibly isolating and it really took over my whole life for a while. My mental health was so tied to what my daughter was (or more accurately, wasn’t) eating. 

That said- we did move past this, and I promise you will as well. Are you getting any professional help via her doctors? 

[u/Wrong_Inevitable_401 → u/KikiTheArtTeacher]

I understand this so much. People keep saying “it will pass” or “babies go through phases,” but they don’t understand that meanwhile this is something you have to live through every single hour of every day. Every feed becomes stressful, every clock check becomes stressful, and your whole mental state ends up depending on how many ml they drank that day. I’ve had difficult periods in life before, but honestly nothing has ever stressed me like this. She is only 15 weeks old, so when people say “it gets better with age” my brain immediately panics because 1 year old feels SO far away if things continue like this. I feel very lonely in it because unless someone has gone through feeding aversion or feeding struggles themselves, they really don’t understand how consuming it becomes.I also feel guilty all the time because I can see she’s hungry but also distressed and struggling with feeds, and as a mum that feeling is horrible.

No, I haven’t really received proper help yet. I’ve mentioned it to my GP multiple times and asked for help/support because it’s affecting both her feeding and my mental health. If you’re in the UK too, could you please tell me how you approached getting proper help through doctors and what actually helped you get taken seriously?

[u/KikiTheArtTeacher → u/Wrong_Inevitable_401]

You are exactly right! And there is endless advice out there about what to do when your baby won’t sleep, but then so little about what to do when they don’t want to eat. I kept getting brushed off as anxious new mom, but of course you’re going to be anxious is your baby is barely eating! And just because I was anxious didn’t mean that my daughter wasn’t seriously struggling

I am also in the UK and I wish I had some good advice. What I found is that pushing for help from doctors who were already dismissive meant that the advice they gave/ treatment they offered wasn’t actually helpful or in some instances (like ‘tricking’ her into eating) it actually made things worse in the long term. Finally at 5 months I really just wasn’t coping anymore. We had tried to do early weaning but that caused her to start refusing solids because her reflux still wasn’t properly controlled. I ended up booking an appointment with a private paeds in America. I found out that they have different guidelines for treating reflux there, and the doctor I found specialized that and had also ran a feeding therapy clinic. It wasn’t inexpensive but she was the first person who actually heard what I was saying and knew exactly what was going on. I didn’t have to ‘prove’ anything to her, you know? And that already made it so much easier because she listened to me and knew how to help. Could you go private? 

[u/Wrong_Inevitable_401 → u/KikiTheArtTeacher]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it so much. It honestly helps just feeling heard by someone who understands. I’m so happy to hear that you and your baby are doing better now. What you said makes so much sense, especially about being dismissed as an anxious new mum when you just know something isn’t right. I completely relate to that feeling.
And yes, honestly I would do absolutely everything for her and try anything that could help. Hearing that you had a positive experience and finally found someone who listened gives me a bit of hope. If you don’t mind sharing, would you be able to send me the details of the clinic or doctor you saw? I’d really appreciate it 🤍

[u/KikiTheArtTeacher → u/Wrong_Inevitable_401]

Sure! I sent it via message for you :)