r/FormulaFeeders • u/Wrong_Inevitable_401 • 24d ago
Bottle Aversion / Feeding Refusal ❌ Bottle Aversion Is Slowly Breaking Me
I never thought feeding my baby would become something that makes me cry every day. After a difficult pregnancy, birth, reflux/CMPA worries and so many challenges, I always stayed positive… but bottle aversion is breaking me in ways I didn’t expect.
The thought that this can last for months makes me so anxious and sad. I feel like I’m losing myself and even losing the calm connection I had with my baby. I’m trying my absolute best, reading everything, learning every method, watching every wake window and feeding cue… but some days I feel completely defeated.
Please tell me there is light at the end of this tunnel. 🤍
2
u/Gingerbredmum 23d ago
Just want to preface this with you obviously know your baby best but I thought mine had a bottle aversion as well. I was breastfeeding for the first month then switched to formula. My LO immediately didn’t like feedings with a bottle but would still reluctantly take 3oz at a time. I tried all different types of bottles, feeding positions, nipple flows. My pediatrician also wasn’t concerned yet because he didn’t fall off his curve but dismissed how stressful it was for me to get 20oz a day in him and how his intake was only decreasing. I literally switched to formula because my mental health was suffering having to feed every hour (I have small milk storage capacity) and my 3 other children barely had any time with me. And now here I was having to feed frequently again with formula. I saw a post on here talking about formulas that taste like breast milk and since my LO loved breastfeeding I figured I’d give formula change a shot. It’s been 2 weeks since I switched cold turkey to a new formula and LO is regularly taking in 4.5-5oz bottles happily. He’s like a completely different baby during feedings and he now sucks down a bottle in 10 minutes. It took about 4 days for him to trust that he was getting the better tasting formula where he would drink 2-3oz stop then reject the bottle. I’d wait 20 minutes burping him and talking to him then offer again and he’d drink the rest. I think once he knew for sure he was getting the formula he liked he started drinking the whole thing down. Maybe your baby could be the same? But again you know your baby best and if it is a bottle aversion don’t be afraid to demand care for your baby.
2
u/spaceman_spiff_00 20d ago
hey, so sorry to hear this, we went through this too and it was some of the hardest times of my life. the only thing that helped us was the rowena bennett method. you have to reduce ALL pressure for like 3 days for your baby to reset and trust you and the bottle again. its terrifying to see 3 days of low intake, but my baby started drinking 24oz (including 1 dream feed) on his own after day 3.
we also changed bottles to a swedish brand called herobility. it's the only bottle he took willingly. we found out at 10 months that he has CMPI, which is a whole other story. good luck!
2
u/Both-Lavishness7039 18d ago
My baby is 8 months I’ve been going through this it’s sooooo hard and when I’m trying to explain to other mums they don’t get it and how mentally exhausting it is. I’ve tried the rowenna Bennet but was still feeding while she was asleep. Im also based in Uk and their isn’t any support for this at all :(
1
u/LobsterIndependent11 24d ago
How old is you baby? Can you start introducing a Straw cup or sippy cup? Maybe if your LO feels like they have 100% control of their feeds his intake will increase?
1
u/Wrong_Inevitable_401 24d ago
She’s 15 weeks old, so I think it’s still a bit early for a straw cup or sippy cup. I have thought about it because she always wants to control the bottle herself and seems frustrated during feeds, but I’m honestly extremely desperate and scared right now. I’m terrified she’ll keep losing weight or her intake will drop so much that we’ll end up needing other interventions like a feeding tube. I’m trying everything I can to make feeding calm and positive again.
1
u/LobsterIndependent11 24d ago
If it can help, at 4 months my LO was very distracted while feeding and was frustrated in the craddle position because he couldnt look around so freely, soooo I tried to put him lying flat on his back on his snuggle me, and offered him the bottle, he took it with his hands and drank happily while looking around, I just stayed beside him to help with the bottle if he had difficulties and we did it till he was able to roll and crawl out of the feeding position after 2oz 😅 Then I switched strategy and fed in a dark room on his rocking chair so that he focus on feeding and that is what is working at the moment. 😅
All that being said sometime changing position, or finding ways to give your LO more control over the feed can sometime help! And adapting all of his developmental change.
If your LO likes holding a bottle, add handle to your bottle and let your LO take the lead! Stay close to help but let your baby lead!
1
1
u/KikiTheArtTeacher 24d ago
It’s the worst thing I have ever been through, as a Mom or otherwise. It’s so incredibly isolating and it really took over my whole life for a while. My mental health was so tied to what my daughter was (or more accurately, wasn’t) eating.
That said- we did move past this, and I promise you will as well. Are you getting any professional help via her doctors?
2
u/Wrong_Inevitable_401 24d ago
I understand this so much. People keep saying “it will pass” or “babies go through phases,” but they don’t understand that meanwhile this is something you have to live through every single hour of every day. Every feed becomes stressful, every clock check becomes stressful, and your whole mental state ends up depending on how many ml they drank that day. I’ve had difficult periods in life before, but honestly nothing has ever stressed me like this. She is only 15 weeks old, so when people say “it gets better with age” my brain immediately panics because 1 year old feels SO far away if things continue like this. I feel very lonely in it because unless someone has gone through feeding aversion or feeding struggles themselves, they really don’t understand how consuming it becomes.I also feel guilty all the time because I can see she’s hungry but also distressed and struggling with feeds, and as a mum that feeling is horrible.
No, I haven’t really received proper help yet. I’ve mentioned it to my GP multiple times and asked for help/support because it’s affecting both her feeding and my mental health. If you’re in the UK too, could you please tell me how you approached getting proper help through doctors and what actually helped you get taken seriously?
1
u/KikiTheArtTeacher 24d ago
You are exactly right! And there is endless advice out there about what to do when your baby won’t sleep, but then so little about what to do when they don’t want to eat. I kept getting brushed off as anxious new mom, but of course you’re going to be anxious is your baby is barely eating! And just because I was anxious didn’t mean that my daughter wasn’t seriously struggling
I am also in the UK and I wish I had some good advice. What I found is that pushing for help from doctors who were already dismissive meant that the advice they gave/ treatment they offered wasn’t actually helpful or in some instances (like ‘tricking’ her into eating) it actually made things worse in the long term. Finally at 5 months I really just wasn’t coping anymore. We had tried to do early weaning but that caused her to start refusing solids because her reflux still wasn’t properly controlled. I ended up booking an appointment with a private paeds in America. I found out that they have different guidelines for treating reflux there, and the doctor I found specialized that and had also ran a feeding therapy clinic. It wasn’t inexpensive but she was the first person who actually heard what I was saying and knew exactly what was going on. I didn’t have to ‘prove’ anything to her, you know? And that already made it so much easier because she listened to me and knew how to help. Could you go private?
1
u/Wrong_Inevitable_401 24d ago
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it so much. It honestly helps just feeling heard by someone who understands. I’m so happy to hear that you and your baby are doing better now. What you said makes so much sense, especially about being dismissed as an anxious new mum when you just know something isn’t right. I completely relate to that feeling.
And yes, honestly I would do absolutely everything for her and try anything that could help. Hearing that you had a positive experience and finally found someone who listened gives me a bit of hope. If you don’t mind sharing, would you be able to send me the details of the clinic or doctor you saw? I’d really appreciate it 🤍1
1
u/Quiet-Pomegranate93 24d ago
Does she eat better when she’s sleepy?
We do bottles right before naps which isn’t the recommended order (can create sleep association) but it really helps my baby actually get some good ounces in.
Otherwise, she drinks 2 ounces at a time so we are constantly feeding her.
1
u/New_Art_9358 24d ago
I feel like I could have written this post myself. I'm currently in the thick of bottle aversion with my 6-month-old. We 've been in it for over 2 months now. He also has reflux and cmpi, and I also had a traumatic birth and postpartum and I thought that that was the hardest part but did not see this coming🫠.. my whole day revolves around his feeds and thjs has really affected my mental health. Baby is on puramino, he hates the taste and refuses bottle most of the time, so we rely on dreamfeeds. We are on waitlist to see an occupational therapist and are working with a pediatric dietitian. No advice just solidarity.
1
u/dettilc 24d ago
Just putting my 2 cents in, I thought my baby had bottle aversion and I tried EVERYTHING.
Then I bought the brand NUK and everything changed and now he sculls his milk and within a few weeks looks the healthiest he’s been since birth. It would be worth a shot to try? Anyway that’s what worked for me
1
u/Famous_Variation4729 23d ago
Actually OP I would suggest trying this. Changing formula is the first step to try, and its often ignored. Even our feeding therapist didnt suggest it. One of my friends did. It didnt work for me but it did work for one of my friends.
1
u/zillips 16d ago
Hi OP, any update on this from a week later?
1
u/Wrong_Inevitable_401 15d ago
Hi, thank you for checking in. I’m still in the middle of this unfortunately. A few days ago I bought Szilvia’s book after first reading and trying Rowena Bennett’s method which I’m not saying it doesn’t work, but we couldn’t follow it exactly and her behaviour was getting worse for us personally. She still has some aversion, but one positive change is that she no longer cries when she sees the bottle. We are still facing a lot of challenges though. She has started to accept feeds more, but not always on the first or second try. I decided to book an online consultation with Szilvia along with 10 days of support, and I’m starting tomorrow. I’m really hoping it helps us move in the right direction.
1
u/pattyfromhome 6d ago
We've been dealing with bottle aversion for a few months now. My LO is 6 nearly 7 months and he was under weight at his 4 month appointment. They made me start fortifying bottles of breast milk. He did not like it and quickly stopped breast feeding and to get a 4 ounce bottle into him was taking over an hour.
Last month we were in the ICU (for an unrelated issue) and his feeding got way better. He was happily taking 4, 5 sometimes 6 ounces a feed. But again, we were told he needed to hit 30 ounces a day of 26 calorie formula. After leaving the hospital we couldn't hit that 30 mark and I think our LO felt the pressure all over again... things just got worse.
This past weekend I found Rowena's book and devoured it, thinking it was the answer. I started the method on Monday, which honestly went pretty well, but after that things just got worse and worse. Now Thursday, my LO won't accept a bottle at all and it's breaking me. Our paediatrician is totally unhelpful. I honestly don't know what to do.
How different is Szilvia's method from Rowena's?1
u/Wrong_Inevitable_401 5d ago
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I truly feel for any parent dealing with bottle aversion because I’m living this nightmare too. My baby was healthy and was actually drinking above-average amounts for her age. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, she developed a bottle aversion. Like many parents, my first instinct was to gather as much information as possible, and Rowena’s book was one of the first resources I found. I bought it immediately and, personally, I think the method does work for some families. However, I found it quite difficult to apply in real life because it felt very black-and-white, while babies can be so unpredictable from one day to the next. The core principles are actually very similar between Rowena’s and Szilvia’s approaches no pressure, following the baby’s lead, respecting refusal, and rebuilding trust around feeding. The difference, in my experience, is that Szilvia’s approach is gentler and more flexible. She gives parents a bit more room to adapt to their baby’s individual needs. Things like the three-offer approach, bedtime feeds, and handling difficult situations felt more practical and easier for me to follow. I was struggling even with the book alone, and having Szilvia’s direct support was incredibly helpful. My baby started showing improvement in the aversion quite quickly. She no longer cries when she sees the bottle and is much more willing to accept it. However, we’re still not out of the woods. Our current challenge is that although the aversion seems much better, she still only takes very small amounts often 0.5–1 oz, occasionally 2 oz. Her overall intake remains extremely low, and we’re still trying to figure out why. So unfortunately I can’t say we’re fully recovered yet, but I can say that Szilvia has been kind, supportive, and very helpful throughout the process.
1
u/Lopsided-Little-Egg 5d ago
Hiya OP
I feel for you as we've experienced similar! If you're able to could you give an update and a review of your consultation and support with Szilivia
TIA
1
u/Wrong_Inevitable_401 5d ago
Hi! Of course. So far, my experience with Szilvia has been very positive. She is incredibly kind, supportive, and genuinely cares about both the baby and the parents. She has been very patient with all my questions and has provided clear guidance throughout the process. One thing that changed quite quickly was my baby’s reaction to the bottle. By the second day, she was already showing a lot less aversion and started accepting the bottle much more willingly. Before, she would often cry, fight the bottle, and become very upset. That part has improved significantly.
However, we are still facing challenges. Although the aversion itself seems much better, her intake remains very low. Most feeds are only around 1–2 oz, and she rarely takes larger amounts. At the moment, we still don’t fully understand the reason behind the low intake, so we’re continuing to work through it with Szilvia. It’s still a work in progress, but I can honestly say that Szilvia has been lovely, very knowledgeable, and extremely helpful throughout the process.
2
u/Famous_Variation4729 24d ago
Its been 1.5 months for us. Nothing seemed to be working. But we changed bottles and she started taking them at least. We also changed feeding positions- her sitting in my lap facing outward. She tries to hold the bottle and has major FOMO so wants to see everything. Now she takes 2oz consistently. We are still 0 pressure and no dreamfeeds. With night feeds we can manage to about 24oz. At 7 months this is low but manageable with solids 2x a day. One day I offered her milk in a munchkin straw cup and she finished the bottle although she spits out about 3/4ths. Ill keep practicing with it- my hope is she will learn to wean off the bottle in a month completely and can drink from a straw cup with handles to end this nightmare.